Befitting:
Yes, I'm angry.

Don't be angry now. Maybe it was a mistake.

He slipped and fell on her.

edwife:
Efe,mindfulness,byvan,musingoflady glad to have had a very mature and civil discussion.

Why, thank you ma'am.

MusingsOfALady:


Don't be angry now. Maybe it was a mistake.

He slipped and fell on her.

Lmao!

edwife:
Efe,mindfulness,byvan,musingoflady glad to have had a very mature and civil discussion.

I enjoyed the conversation immensely but it would have been better if you hadn't ignored me.

MusingsOfALady:
Wow! You guys really had a nice long discussion. I initially thought Mindfulness was a gal. So you just wanted to pull the ladies strings.

I am that I am.

We agree to disagree, bottom line for me is women need to stop lying to themselves(I actually have a post on that) and placating themselves that their husbands were snared.

Yes, yes, yes!

That's crap. Hold your husband accountable but some can't because they were the side chick before marriage.

I don't agree.

cococandy:
Yea well looks at this way.
If something belonged to someone first, because you need to consider yourself first doesn't make it right to take it. Then that means it's okay to rob someone because let's face why should I deny myself the pleasure of something you own if I can have it? Even if it makes you sad.

Your husband belongs to you for as long as he decides to and can't be compared to an object that does not enjoy the human rights that are called free will and liberty.

Those are instances where it is okay to displease yourself to please someone else.

If I choose to - and anyone who puts him or herself first has my support. We should do it much more often.

I'm of the belief that people are free to live how they want and do they that make them happy without judgement. Only drawing the line at the point where such actions hurt others.

My well-being is more important to me than anyone else's. Am I selfish? YES!

EfemenaXY:


Okay....

1 a.) What's Ile's favourite sport?
b.) We had an argument based on differing perspectives of "equality of pay" for both sexes. Who were the main (male) opposers to the notion that it should be based on gender rather than ability?

2.) A couple of months prior to this ^^ argument, we had a debate on the family section organized by Tgirl and whom?
b.) Who were the judges of the debate?
c.) Ile had a "clash" with one of the debaters. Without mentioning names, what was the bone of contention?

A) tennis
B) Saga
C) me, sisikill, coog, saga, cool headed guy from romance section who's name I forget (aha! Debo) and the former supermod I forget
D) mad that he didn't win and thought the judges were unqualified and playing favorites.

Mindfulness:


I don't agree.

Why not?

Sounds like an interesting concept. Come to think of it, there may be some truth in it, based on the side-chick-now-wife's paranoia.

Mindfulness:


I enjoyed the conversation immensely but it would have been better if you hadn't ignored me.

To tell you the truth i was just not ready for your so many questions.I hardly debate and to start one with you will take me a day or a lot of concentration which i didn't have i am afraid.

Next time i will be ready,i had a match to watch,food to cook so short answers were my only option or don't answer at all.

You know before you deactivated we started getting along just fine and if you remember there is a comment i said about your personality.You are more focused on you and your opinion now and not others so don't see it this way.

Burntpalace:


A) tennis
B) Saga
C) me, sisikill, coog, saga, cool headed guy from romance section who's name I forget and the former supermod I forget
D) mad that he didn't win and thought the judges were unqualified and playing favorites.

Rotflmao!!!

Yes!
Yes!!
Yes!!!
Yes!!!!

Welcome back!!

edwife:


Lol honestly i can't,i even run away from people's fight.I was just trying to give many instances and one from my very good friend.

I witnessed everything,it was so dangerous when the mistress started stalking her and her kids.She had to do something.

Whether she dealt with her husband then decided to forgive him after she was driving a new ML that's her business but the mistress had her fair share also.Everybody got served!

Some people get mind sha I know some side chics take it to a whole different level sha.


I remember when I was in uni, I had one toaster (who was also toasting like 100 other girls ) .his girlfriend abi is it 'wifey' would be eyeing and giving me attitude all over campus(we had mutual friends ) it was so obvious to everyone That I was not interested in dating the guy (he was a club boy and I can't stand womanisers ) but I could never ever get over the blatant disrespect that the guy would mete out to this girl eg telling her to get down from his car while trying to chat with me )and she would not break up with him and choose to be 'eyeing or giving me attitude' all over campus when it was so obvious I was not interested. that was as a teenager o no strings,children ,marriage etc attached .that one na acid acid she for don dey pour for now



Human relationships can be complicated sha.

Welcome back ileobatojo.

EfemenaXY:


Why not?

Sounds like an interesting concept. Come to think of it, there may be some truth in it, based on the side-chick-now-wife's paranoia.

Maybe some of them were "side chicks" some time in the past but the paranoia is rather the result of dependency and fear and also values, which they think are universal.

EfemenaXY:


Why, thank you ma'am.

Because it's usually not the case around here more often.I now choose people i discuss with.

edwife:


To tell you the truth i was just not ready for your so many questions.I hardly debate and to start one with you will take me a day or a lot of concentration which i didn't have i am afraid.

Next time i will be ready,i had a match to watch,food to cook so short answers were my only option or don't answer at all.

You know before you deactivated we started getting along just fine and if you remember there is a comment i said about your personality.You are more focused on you and your opinion now and not others so don't see it this way.

Another one who seems to know me.

Ewuro4:


Yup.

Why did you forsook me.

Had to take a break from NL. It was taking up too much of my time. I have to say it was worthwhile though I missed all you nlers, both naughty and nice.

EfemenaXY:


Rotflmao!!!

Yes!
Yes!!
Yes!!!
Yes!!!!

Welcome back!!

I missed you too!

Thank you Damiso!

Mindfulness:


Another one who seems to know me.

But honestly,i am very delighted to have you back differently.Nowadays i enjoy reading some of your posts.

edwife:




But honestly,i am very delighted to have you back differently.Nowadays i enjoy reading some of your posts.

Burntpalace:


Had to take a break from NL. It was taking up too much of my time. I have to say it was worthwhile though I missed all you nlers, both naughty and nice.

Don't blame you coz I get it. Miss you too.

@naughty & nice.. Definately Naughty.

Now sisikill and busybody .. E bode oh

Mindfulness:



I don't agree.

Why do you I feel you just want to yank my chain?

MusingsOfALady:


Why do you I feel you just want to yank my chain?

I just want to get this thread going. I have an hour left before I leave the house and I don't want to get sleepy.

EfemenaXY:


Exactly!

Now you get my point (almost there).

Now, how d'you think it'll sound if someone says, "No, I can't discuss this topic with you because we've got differing religious (or not) backgrounds / beliefs"?

The point I'm trying to make is that learning how to express your opinion in such a way that cuts across religious beliefs is a sign of a good debator. I.e. irrespective of your religious afflictions, you should be able to level with anyone and not just a particular sect.

Your message here is flexibility right?

There are times I compromise but unfortunately I can't do that on this matter because as a Christian, the commandment is clear.... So I told mindful it was better we ended the argument because she can NEVER convince me that adultery isn't sinful and I may never convince her on my stance too... besides I didn't want to talk too much then. ..

However, I get your point but I must also tell you that you can NEVER make an opinion that will suit/cut across everyone.. people must always object. .. There's no one shoe fits all...

edwife:


Because it's usually not the case around here more often. I now choose people i discuss with.

Lol!

I like this. I think I should borrow a leaf from your book.

Burntpalace:

Had to take a break from NL. It was taking up too much of my time. I have to say it was worthwhile though I missed all you nlers, both naughty and nice.

Abeg don't ever disappear like that again. Y'all deactivating at the same time. Got me wondering if you'd all regrouped on another forum or something and were just waiting for Efe to come join una. I nearly followed suit.

damiso:

Some people get mind sha I know some side chics take it to a whole different level sha.
I remember when I was in uni, I had one toaster (who was also toasting like 100 other girls ) .his girlfriend abi is it 'wifey' would be eyeing and giving me attitude all over campus(we had mutual friends ) it was so obvious to everyone That I was not interested in dating the guy (he was a club boy and I can't stand womanisers ) but I could never ever get over the blatant disrespect that the guy would mete out to this girl eg telling her to get down from his car while trying to chat with me )and she would not break up with him and choose to be 'eyeing or giving me attitude' all over campus when it was so obvious I was not interested. that was as a teenager o no strings,children ,marriage etc attached .that one na acid acid she for don dey pour for now
Human relationships can be complicated sha.
Welcome back ileobatojo.

Now assuming this chick married that club toaster, how would she bring up her sons?

And most importantly, what sort of mother-in-law would she be??

Ewuro4:


I know right?

OR

Who knows , she may be planning for 'old age abandonment' and time to solemnly acquire what is rightful hers hence her mumuness.

Provided she has a say & she's a very relevant part of that marriage to start with. This is why we tell them to be independent and move with the right crowd.

True and like I always say choice and worth is what I believe in.

Madam, this abandonment thing sha

Mindfulness:


I just want to get this thread going. I have an hour left before I leave the house and I don't want to get sleepy.

Gotcha! Lol.

Ok. Another angle is the role our society has played in this matter. Men are excused while a woman who is being cheated on is asked to try harder, wear lingerie, cook better food, offer 24/7 sex. The men are given a playful slap on the wrist (if any) and told to be more careful next time.

Mindfulness:


It is not unhealthy to trust your husband, it is unhealthy to depend on your husband.

What's the difference between trusting your husband not to cheat and depending on your husband to be faithful?

Mindfulness:


I just want to get this thread going. I have an hour left before I leave the house and I don't want to get sleepy.

Right.

So you're using us??

Gosh! I feel soooooooo used! So traumatised by this confession of yours....

EfemenaXY:


Lol!

I like this. I think I should borrow a leaf from your book.



Abeg don't ever disappear like that again. Y'all deactivating at the same time. Got me wondering if you'd all regrouped on another forum or something and were just waiting for Efe to come join una. I nearly followed suit.



Now assuming this chick married that club toaster, how would she bring up her sons?

And most importantly, what sort of mother-in-law would she be??

I can't even begin to imagine ..I did not understand whether it was low self esteem,inferiority complex or just plain stupidity.

Maybe because I have always been allergic to drama but the most reasonable reaction to me even at that young age was to break up with him Abi how hard is that

I understand marriage is a bit more complicated but that example was just to show the mindset of people even from that young age.

EfemenaXY:


Right.

So you're using us??

Gosh! I feel soooooooo used! So traumatised by this confession of yours....

I am not using you, I am entertaining you but if I were using you, you would enjoy it too.

EfemenaXY:


Lol!

I like this. I think I should borrow a leaf from your book.



Abeg don't ever disappear like that again. Y'all deactivating at the same time. Got me wondering if you'd all regrouped on another forum or something and were just waiting for Efe to come join una. I nearly followed suit.

Lol!

Hmmm, if JK, carefree, osisi, shollypopz et al regrouped on another forum, they didn't invite me

Shout out to bukatyne!

EfemenaXY:


Not necessarily. Don't get me wrong, I'm not absolving the girl on the side of all blame, but honestly, in a union, who are the people responsible for keeping the union sanctified? Does the man not owe it to his wife to be faithful and likewise, the wife to him too? Who then should mistress "A" be accountable to? The man? His wife?

Holding the girl to ransome is akin to saying you'll hold all his "bits on the side" to ransome. If the guy is a chronic womaniser, how many of his side-chicks will you go after na? 10? 50? 100? 300? At what point should the wife draw the line with her Valentino of a spouse?

I get what you're trying to say but personally, I just can't agree with it because it's just one step away from monitoring the ladies and that in itself, is just one step away from confronting them.

Biko, the best thing to do is let the man know he's walking on a tight-rope. He either sticks with his wife or he gets the hell out. And while he's moving out, she should get herself a good lawyer and take her cheating spouse to the drycleaners and squeeze him of every Penny, Cent, or Kobo he's got.

That way, she gets something (hopefully everything) from the split. Then let's see if he'll be that keen to jump beds, or better still, if side chicks X, Y, Z will still "love" the broke man.

I am giving you a sitting ovation here

babygirlfl:


True and like I always say choice and worth is what I believe in.

Madam, this abandonment thing sha

This abandonment thing in my opinion is not a great idea, except you are like 2decades younger.

I mean you spend your youth suffering and smiling then when he is 60 and you are 55 you leave him and start life all over,?
Start living alone or being a burden to your kids.

If a woman wants to leave, leave now whole you have your youth.

My opinion though