beleza:
I am not in a good situation at the moment. I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend.Before you judge me here is my story.I am a lady in my late 20s, pretty, funny, lovable and a good christian but the major problem I have been facing since I knew about dating is the kind of guys I get attracted,they are usually cool but unserious,have commitment issues, are emotionally unavailable and just want to sleep with me.I am very emotional and I tend to show my feelings towards a guy so soon.Secondly I have never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.

In my 4 years in the university, I didnt have any relationship, not that i didnt want but guys were not just coming.My friends always felt I should have a lot of admirers because of my looks but the reverse was the case.After school, the few ones I tried to have,turned out sour.One was my former fellowship pastor so I thought he will be serious as he was old enough for marriage.This was about 4 years ago.I was disappointed when I realised that he was just after sex.He started acting up, withdrawing, saying I was disturbing him emotionally and that he is tired.Later, he said we should do friends with benefit, I just cut him off totally. This was a supposed pastor trying to take advvantage of my weakness.

A year later in 2013 met another dude.It didnt last up to six months before we broke up due to our numerous differences.he also didnt make a commitment, the major thing was that we liked ourselves.It took me a long time to get time over him.fast forward to this year met a very funny and inteeligent guy.we met on an online socialnetworking site.he is in his 30's and he seemed just like my perfect man. There was this connection I had with him and we could talk about anything at anytime.snooped on his social media accounts and I didnt see any signs of a lady or girlfriend so I felt the coast was clear.Only for me to ask him one day and he says he is in a relationship,even showed me her photo.I had already started having feelings for him, it was hard to turn back.We were so attracted to each other and it was to hard to resist him even though I knew he just wanted sex from me.Dude travels out and isnt communicating like before, even though he told me his gf is in nigeria but I wasn't convinced.

Our major fallout was when on my birthday I didnt get message fro him until a day later, I decided to send a nasty message to him saying he was just after my body and all.Dude gets angry, I started apologising almost immediately, this happed in October.he just reads my messages doesnt reply doesnt pick my calls.Since the incident happend, I havent been myself, I have never begged or apologised to any one like this in my life, I have cried almost everyday for the past two months, I cant concentrate at work.He recently came back but didn't tell me but I found out on my own.Went to his house a few days ago unannounced just to apologize, He got more angry in the process saying he warned not to come without telling him.He said he has forgiven me and also apologized for leading on but ended up saying he has issues with people that dont trust him.The worst part is he knows I love him so he is doing this to hurt me more.

I just cant get him out of my mind, I think about him everyday, I am in a dilemma.we never had sex, we just kissed and touched so I dont understand what is going on. I still sent him msgs yesterday but he just read them and didnt reply.I have uninstalled my whatsapp because of him so I cant send him msgs.At this point, I am fed up, I don't why love treats me like this. I need your advice asap .

you need Jesus and stop falling in love with money!

Op, Where do you see yourself in the next five years? What are your goals dreams, visions and aspiration? What is your calling, destiny or life mission?

As you meditate on these questions and get them right, life will have a new meaning.

This is serious o

Jst have faith your man will come. But while you wait equip yourself with skills .

send me text on 09051279335. I have something important to discuss with you about ur matter.

Am still trying to comprehend what OPis saying.....do you sleep with them after which they leave or do they ask for it and you don't give in to them and they come up with an excuse to leave you?...either way the right one will come and maybe you should set your priorities right and try asking a guy if his in a relationship from the onset not when you have started developing feelings because it will be hard to let go, just like the state you'r in now.

my candid opinion; GET A LIFE!!

stop chasing guys up and down. you chase them they treat you like shit, can't you see the connection.

focus on your work. if you are pretty like you said guys will chase you. that is how it should be.

U r not in this boat alone my dear,I Ws once in such a dilemma,infact most women are emotional,even the ones claiming hard core,all u have to do is move on no other option,let them be

It's funny how this world works..Whilst some good guys are looking for girls that he would mean everything to others are running from girls who really love them and want to be around them all the time..

Well, different strokes for different folks. I as write am almost in tears... I keep falling for wrong ladies who take advantage of me, sometime I think its not ordinary. Asin ehn am tired and av given up on love. No time for ladies anymore mine cheated on me with a guy who pitied me and came along to burst her bubbles....ladies r evil, and to cap it up, this is my second deadly experience.

Alezy:
lovely comment.....Op.

This is the answer u seek

I'm honored that we share the same view.

very very simple my dear make him fall in love with U first that's D golden rule for women and lastly change ur movie

Why are you troubling yourself? There are many things in life that means accomplishment.
Why not focus on the other aspects of your life?
Get busy with positive endeavors.
There is nothing wrong with you. If you get depressed now for this, so many things may pass you by and life waits for no one.
The bitter truth is that it is not every man or woman that will get married. If you keep accepting bullsh!t all in the name of eventual marriage, there will always be a negative impact.
Focus on developing yourself further, always be positive and love will come gently. #selflove

hmm

Stop being so vulnerable. Don't open your heart and mind to them, and stop making it obvious that you want them. keep your dignity gurl, you are beautiful and hardworking. You deserve to be treated like a queen not a trash. always tell yourself that. Love but not with your whole heart and body.. And as for that guy? forget he ever existed, move on with your life, dress classy, be happy, he'll come crawling back. but don't accept him o.. lol. make him pay for making you go through hell. ta ta

Am available. Hoping ours will last up to 6 and a half months.

profojah:
Maybe all what's happening to you is karma, who knows... Maybe your mother or grandmother or great grandmother had broken so many men's heart during their days...#Just saying tho#

Chai!!

Walesadeyemi:
See this beautiful smart girl killing herself on one stupid guy that doesn't even deserve her. I know (100% certain) that you're a very adorable human being and guys should be killing themselves to have you.
Babe this guy doesn't deserve you a bit and you're there feeding his stupid ego. Pls move on boo, he doesn't deserve such an awesome beautiful lady like you and for God sake you're a diamond girl.





Hope I've fed your ego well? All you actually need now is self esteem booster Coz that's all I can see that you're lacking and if you want to get over that idiot guy, just think of all his imperfections and I'm sure he has a lot.

Never think of the good times you had with him Coz that would only hurt you, think of his bighead, wide nose, the way he limps and so on and you'll get over him sooner than you think.
Good luck

One just wonders why you are so pained? Is she your sister?

Don't fall in love so easily,cool down and study the kind of person you want to fall in love with. Don't let guys to see you finish, and I will look direct into your eyes and tell you that this guy doesn't love you. Don't your emotions control you, sometimes control your emotions.

Every guy is the wrong guy. Only the one who just has pity on you or wants to marry would just keep his cool

U are ugly and have a problem with obsession. Would you say there are no other guys asking you out right now? If No, then you are obsessed with something in him not in Love. It's not possible to love someone who treats you with disdain. You don't belong to the same class or possess matching qualities with the guys you claim to be in" love " with. You don't need any advice other than to see a psychologist/ therapist.

Alezy:
that I the book u read to harden ur heart to an unrealistic position. When mr right finally shows his face, u won't even recognise him again.

bad idea to me

If you read my post well,I explained what the book entails.Its not to turn you into a cold unfeeling woman,Its written to help women like op develop their dating game and be mature about it.The author even interviewed guys while writing it,and their feedback was unanimous on the point that no man wants a needy woman.That is what op here is doing,by going to the dude's house unnanounced and calling him even when he has zero interest in her.Right now she needs to be able to walk away from this guy,I recommended the book to let her know how to be smart and yet loving in a relationship.The fact that you want a mr right doesn't mean a woman should go about acting clueless,allowing herself to be treated like trash.My mother once told me 'relationships are like chess,you study the moves of your partner'.If op was emotionally strong,she ought to have decoded from the guys moves that he is not into her.That's what the book is meant for,to build her up to be discerning,and not go about relationships doing all the loving by herself.

If you've seen the movie, Blood Diamond, Mady, a workaholic journalist; doesn't care about feelings or men.Then, she runs into a mercenary, Danny Archer, a bad boy to the core.He rarely regards women.In the end, she falls in love with him...but he's on the throes of death.
Your case isn't a hopeless one.Tell God to bring your own your way.If you can meditate on Isaiah 34:16, twill do you wonders.
Cheer up, lady!

@OP. someone is presently going through same thing you stated in my hands. so if am to advice u base on what this someone did to me, i would advice you stop been jealous and stop stalking him.

Men are like shadows. The more you run after them, the more they move away from you and the more you move away from them, the more they run after you. Work on your emotions, you aren't strong emotionally.

By default, most good girls are always attracted to bad guys. Like LL Cool J would say: The Lord works in a mysterious way for He placed you on the surface of the earth for all men to praise.

Pls contact me I will love and care for you.plz 08036600870

LegatusGlaber:
Op, Where do you see yourself in the next five years? What are your goals dreams, visions and aspiration? What is your calling, destiny or life mission?

As you meditate on these questions and get them right, life will have a new meaning.

where did you see yourself in the past five years and how is your life now after the last five years

You can have a dream or vision but can't predict where you will see yourself in the future.

Stop telling lies about that five years stuff.

beleza:
I am not in a good situation at the moment. I am in love with a guy who has a girlfriend.Before you judge me here is my story.I am a lady in my late 20s, pretty, funny, lovable and a good christian but the major problem I have been facing since I knew about dating is the kind of guys I get attracted,they are usually cool but unserious,have commitment issues, are emotionally unavailable and just want to sleep with me.I am very emotional and I tend to show my feelings towards a guy so soon.Secondly I have never had a relationship that lasted more than six months.

In my 4 years in the university, I didnt have any relationship, not that i didnt want but guys were not just coming.My friends always felt I should have a lot of admirers because of my looks but the reverse was the case.After school, the few ones I tried to have,turned out sour.One was my former fellowship pastor so I thought he will be serious as he was old enough for marriage.This was about 4 years ago.I was disappointed when I realised that he was just after sex.He started acting up, withdrawing, saying I was disturbing him emotionally and that he is tired.Later, he said we should do friends with benefit, I just cut him off totally. This was a supposed pastor trying to take advvantage of my weakness.

A year later in 2013 met another dude.It didnt last up to six months before we broke up due to our numerous differences.he also didnt make a commitment, the major thing was that we liked ourselves.It took me a long time to get time over him.fast forward to this year met a very funny and inteeligent guy.we met on an online socialnetworking site.he is in his 30's and he seemed just like my perfect man. There was this connection I had with him and we could talk about anything at anytime.snooped on his social media accounts and I didnt see any signs of a lady or girlfriend so I felt the coast was clear.Only for me to ask him one day and he says he is in a relationship,even showed me her photo.I had galready started having feelings for him, it was hard to turn back.We were so attracted to each other and it was to hard to resist him even though I knew he just wanted sex from me.Dude travels out and isnt communicating like before, even though he told me his gf is in nigeria but I wasn't convinced.

Our major fallout was when on my birthday I didnt get message fro him until a day later, I decided to send a nasty message to him saying he was just after my body and all.Dude gets angry, I started apologising almost immediately, this happed in October.he just reads my messages doesnt reply doesnt pick my calls.Since the incident happend, I havent been myself, I have never begged or apologised to any one like this in my life, I have cried almost everyday for the past two months, I cant concentrate at work.He recently came back but didn't tell me but I found out on my own.Went to his house a few days ago unannounced just to apologize, He got more angry in the process saying he warned not to come without telling him.He said he has forgiven me and also apologized for leading on but ended up saying he has issues with people that dont trust him.The worst part is he knows I love him so he is doing this to hurt me more.

I just cant get him out of my mind, I think about him everyday, I am in a dilemma.we never had sex, we just kissed and touched so I dont understand what is going on. I still sent him msgs yesterday but he just read them and didnt reply.I have uninstalled my whatsapp because of him so I cant send him msgs.At this point, I am fed up, I don't why love treats me like this. I need your advice asap .

Be in control of your emotion.

iamtomi:
u didnt av to quote all she wrote again just to drop ur opinion..

queenfav:
Ok babe..I understand how u feel because I have encountered some pretty mean stuff in life.First of all,I want you to reinstall your whatsapp messenger.When you do,block him! Secondly,get this book "why men love b.itches" by sherry argov.It would toughen you up, especially if you read it with willingness to stop being too emotional about new guys you meet..Its not a book that would make u bitter or an actual bit.ch,the title just connotes that men love strong women who though can be loving,yet try to maintain their independence.Also a woman who knows when to cut her loses to move on when she is being treated with disdain.Men smell desperation and insecurity from miles away.Tell yourself you don't have to be in a relationship to be complete as a person.Its hard because daily u find your friends and even celebs posting loved up pics and all.That alone can make any single lady stay with a man for all the wrong reasons just to avoid feeling left out.My experience with men is that they want what they can't have.Just try it..the guys you don't want in your life pursue you relentlessly,amidst insults and serious attitude to ward them off you.While the ones you call,text more and show excess affection are bound to trample on your emotions by treating you like trash.Please find a distraction.Get engrossed in your work or academics.Read good books,learn a skill or craft.Basically,do things to make you happy.The key is learning to enjoy your own company.Otherwise you would have serious issues even when you meet the man of your dreams.Learn to pace yourself when it comes to relationships..baby steps darling.Don't just fall yakata,even if you are so obsessed with a guy(like you obviously are)Hide it!A little pride won't hurt you here.See yourself as the best,someone any man would not forget in a hurry.Don't let this guy make a mess of your emotions,you are above all that crap.Make a firm decision never to call him again and stand by it!In life you have to master the art of ignoring people no matter how much you crave for them;do it to the point that the person would start doubting his very existence.Don't live your life in a way that you are too much of a good girl.You have to be strong at times,to drive the message home,that you would not stand to be mistreated and have your emotions thrown back on your face.Lastly,just relax..nothing is wrong with you.You'll certainly meet a great guy that would know how much of a amazing lady you are,and love every inch of you for it!

feminist

Oma307:
Complicated

Korrect