Love your enemies, bless them that curse you and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you.
Please love your wife because you are to  love the unlovable, the ugly and all the negative things. This is the test of true love, God's kind of love. Agape love. God loves us all even the most ugly.
Challenge yourself to love in this way and then you can say that you have really loved. Please go to church and let God help you through his grace.
Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, good report etc, think on these things. don't think ugly or negative things. Think what God thinks. God sees us perfect through the sacrificial lamb of God. Jesus bore all our infirmities and ugliness. So we are all are nice.

Dude,

1. I think you don't love your child very well because if you are truly responsible in the house how are you going to be discussing his/her life with your wife?
(that means you only regard your wife as just a nanny, not someone who deliver a precious gift of God to you.)

2. What gives you an assurance that you will find a woman that loves you if you even opt for divorce?
(you are the one putting your child's future in trouble and you are not planning well for old age too the way you are treating your wife).

3. You should please go for marriage counselling with your wife and embark on reading motivational books on marriage (e.g. 5 languages of love)

4. You have choice to be free from this situation you got yourself into by making a choice from these two options (A. marriage B. divorce)

if you choose A, that means you have to write out the ingredients you need to make your marriage successful as you have planned your life to get to this stage.

You need to appreciate her doings
you need to be conversant and conversing with her
you need to include her in your future plans
you need to be thinking positively about her (our mind dictates our attitudes and actions)
you need to know that every relationship must face crisis ( and if you overcome this, you are a victor but if the marriage crashes, you are not man enough
you need to lower your ego very well (you are saying this because she is not okay. what if you had a problem that is bigger than her tomorrow? would you be happy if she is treating you badly as you have been doing to her?) no one knows tomorrow, but only God.
you need to make research about changing your attitude to anybody not only your wife.

you need to choose between love and hate
if you love her, you will also enjoy yourself emotionally, sexually, mentally and naturally. you are doing yourself a favour by loving yourself. you are not doing it for her.

if you choose to hate her, you won't be happy going home, won't sleep well, wont't smile whenever you are in the house (smile is a medicine to good health), won't work well.

Now, you Choose wisely and don't Lose.

you can email me: laswaj@yahoo.com

wasolad01:

Dude,

1. I think you don't love your child very well because if you are truly responsible in the house how are you going to be discussing his/her life with your wife?
(that means you only regard your wife as just a nanny, not someone who deliver a precious gift of God to you.)

Don't bring in the child to try to emotionally blackmail him. A man can be a loving father without having to love the mother of the child. He never said he didn't appreciate her as the mother of his child but as his wife. These two roles are dinstinct and they don't always come together.

okay you want someone that can use the internet abi??  okay  lemme tell u want can happen and  lemme know if you like it

1)  Get your face book and yahoo messenger hacked.  
2)  Get on live chat and espose her self while some guys is veiwing her on web cam
3)  Scroll through your phone and messages foward all the females numbers to her email so she can have you on lock
4)  Teach her to club, so she can leave your baby to party all night

where is the poster

goodguy100:

U dont Love her but u sleep and have sex with her? Men u are a big fool. I wish is somebody i know.

D ashewo wey u dey fuk,u love her?
y u dey sound like woman.

boy1:

D ashewo wey u dey fuk,u love her?
y u dey sound like woman.

Nor mind am. Like say he never sleep with woman wey he nor love. What a hypocrite. Anyways this is internet where a rapist can claim to be a virgin but you know yourself and at the end of the day, you always go back to your miserbale life.

.

tpia.:

dont know why people keep missing the point.

The man titled his thread I DONT LOVE MY WIFE.

Showing he considers love important. Unless by love he means something else eg sexual attraction. meaning he's not sexually attracted to his wife anymore unlike when he got her pregnant.

In addition, he said he hasnt had sex with her for the past six months, which in itself should be a crime. And imo shows he's rather heartless because if the woman has had a need for intimacy all this while, then what does he expect her to do.

She knew right well the man didn't love her. Why is the woman blameless all of a sudden? They both made a mistake and it's up to both to sort themselves out.

.

tpia.:

where in his post did he say the woman knew he didnt love her?

I cant find anything like that. Post the link.

i used to think that love didnt matter so much in marriage but i have been proven wrong,u see i married my wife out of unpleasant conditions,she got pregrant for me and everybody was on my neck to marry her that i couldnt leave her in that state,my pastor too was on my neck to marry her,so under the pressure i got married to her

When a man proves so hard to make a decision then obviously he is not ready for such commitment. Again:

@michelin89 the question u raised about our relationship b4 we married,yes i was sleeping with her i will not deny that ,but we both knew i wasnt ready for marriage yet cos [size=13pt]i was always drumming this into her[/size] but then i should have known better

tpia.:

where did he say the woman knew he didnt love her?

I cant find anything like that. Post the link.

Neither do you need to crucify the woman to score some futile point. If you've never had to cry over some man everyday then learn to ignore those who do if you cant relate to their situation.

If you crucify him, then crucify her as well. Did he have the sex alone? Did he have the marriage alone? Please everybody must pay for their mistakes. She cries because she has realised hers and that's how it ought to be.

Now that both know, they should work together to find a solution.

.

tpia.:




you missed this part of his post I'm sure:



most relationships arent black and white, sorry!

No sorry dear, I didn't mention this part because I was talking about his feelings and the woman's awareness. Most relationships are not black and white, you are right.

So as I have said, it's up to them to solve their problems. But castigating one while pitying the other is not fair. They have their share of responsibilities and they must face it.

.

tpia.:

well, the woman is paying for her own part in the relationship by being married to a man who doesnt care about her.

if that's not punishment enough then I dont know what is.

The man is also suffering because he sees the pains he is putting her through. Isn't that enough punishment, too?

.

tpia.:



how is he suffering?

How many Nigerian men suffer "because of the pains they've put women through?"

If he didn't care he wouldn't come here to ask for help. He has never cheated on his wife and he respects the institution of marriage and doesn't want to divorce.

There are always exceptions, you know.

REVELATION OF THE CENTURY

You people are still on the issue of this i dont love my wife, but she loves me?
I hope the guy will come back to give us update

am sure the poster would have make a decision and move on with her wife

@poster
one thing that is still worth noting is that u might be probably looking at some of your friends' wife and comparing ur wife with them which might not be good for your marriage. be original and be yourself. am sure there lots of things ur wife posses that are lacking in your friends' wife. its not always better on the other side. love her for who "she" is and not for "what" she is.

Goodluck as u plan to have the wife of your desire

Even if you don't love your wife you shouldn't break her heart by cheating. Divorce her and find a wife you love. This is what i would do in your situation.

i once had a girlfriend i didnt love

she was wonderful

i was a fool to let her go

u will regret letting a good woman go

learn to love her u

it will be worth it when u mature

1. Forget about divorce, forgive yourself for the "mistake".
2. Talk about it with her. Tell her exactly how you feel and apologies for not being a complete husband to her.
3. Stop sleeping seperate and return back to your matrimonial bed.
4. Make sure you guys pray together and discuss together how to move you family forward.
5.Take her out sometimes and give her a treat.
6.Continue being responsible for her needs.
7. pay her compliments for her efforts.
8.decide to love her regardless of whatever.

Love is a choice that you make. If she does not look like the woman of your dreams, do everything you can to make her so.
You need to renew your mind by truth about love and women. You do not even know you potentials for love until you give it a deliberate trial.
Goodluck and God's grace.

Really?

sammyzacks:

1. Forget about divorce, forgive yourself for the "mistake".
2. Talk about it with her. Tell her exactly how you feel and apologies for not being a complete husband to her.
3. Stop sleeping seperate and return back to your matrimonial bed.
4. Make sure you guys pray together and discuss together how to move you family forward.
5.Take her out sometimes and give her a treat.
6.Continue being responsible for her needs.
7. pay her compliments for her efforts.
8.decide to love her regardless of whatever.

Love is a choice that you make. If she does not look like the woman of your dreams, do everything you can to make her so.
You need to renew your mind by truth about love and women. You do not even know you potentials for love until you give it a deliberate trial.
Goodluck and God's grace.

wow that is well said

Hi, it is a pity u find urself in this psyhological trauma, but i want u 2 knw that if u always use ur CONCIOUS MIND to atleast pretend to Love her, it will definately change ur focus on ur SUBCONCIOUS MIND and u will not know when u beginning to Love her, again behave as a BLIND MAN that couldn't see what is around him but have (feelings) passionate for whatever that is around him based on the fact that those things he cannot see but av (feelings) passionate for are the only thing that can make him happy, Finally combine the combination of God and ur baby into consideration that God does not support divorce neither the future of the baby that he/she will never ever be at peace with u each time he remembers the deceit you play to the mother cum himsel or herself.

Pls. pray 4 God's directive and divine intervention to lead u thru.

your biggest mistake was having sex with someone outside marriage , which is a sin,
thaz the genesis of your whole problems,
well you are on it try to get used to it,
with time you adjust,
all the best,
i am married did not have sex with my wife b4 marriage,,i was her first,
is good to keep bible principles,
take care,mate

@segan r u sure u were her first ,abeg no come here con dey boast o,@poster guy it seems to me that u are too soft,wake up o and that was why the babe got to you,dont u know many ladies today dont mind traping a good guy like u with pregrancy especially when their age don waka,i am very sure this lady in question is a lady in her late twenties?anyways sha since she loves u i go advise u to try just accept the situation as e be cos e don too late,and for ladies asking this stupid question "u didnt love her and u were making love to her"how daft and stupid some women can be,so u think everyguy that toasts u must marry u na wah o,women always complain that men are unfaithfull but when a faithfull man is standing right under their noses they often   reject him why?cos they all want that fine clean bobo,stupid lots,check all women history they all had one faithfull guy in their lives who they regected only few among them are wise to marry such fellows because fine bobos no dey let them see well

the first thing you have to is TRY to love her!!!!!!!!. if for no other reason, she is the mother of your child. if you love your child, then is it only wise that you want him to feel the love from both parents. But if on the other hand, you dont feel up to it, then both of you should part ways in peace. that is, after a true heart to heart talk with her first and secondly, with every other person concerned. when you make up your mind to do this, dont let anyone talk you out of it.

pek:

the first thing you have to is TRY to love her!!!!!!!!. if for no other reason, she is the mother of your child. if you love your child, then is it only wise that you want him to feel the love from both parents. But if on the other hand, you dont feel up to it, then both of you should part ways in peace. that is, after a true heart to heart talk with her first and secondly, with every other person concerned. when you make up your mind to do this, dont let anyone talk you out of it.

yeah

@poster this your topic has gener ated a lot of emotional contributions. my own candid advise is for you to force your self and love her back. and remember she is carrying your baby. which means you have your generation in her. please LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!