It really truly bothers me when someone says, "African American's are this or that" when really you can't speak that way toward any one group. There are exceptions to all of these biased judgements we put on others. It really needs to stop.

Treat everyone as an individual and not apart of "those people" or "that group" and you're sure to find some wonderful people who deserve more than what I've seen people say on here.

Besides, you are only limiting yourself when you shun a group. Last I checked, no one was better than the other be you Nigerian, American, European, Austrailian, rich, poor, girl, boy, married, or single.

@ vexxy
Once again, I couldn't have said it any better.

@ all
Please realise that ethnocentrism is a natural tendency in humans, but that we should do anything in our power to fight it. We should all look deep into our hearts and see whether or not we're prejudiced against one or another group. Once we recognise that negative attitude, we can fight it.

Ignoring that we are all capable of letting our ethnocentric feelings slip into prejudice or outright racism isn't helping at all. If you can recognise a negative attitude as negative, you can start fighting it.

Above all, treat people as individuals, not as members of one or another group. Only once you know someone as a person can you look into group associations

Thank you, Nferyn.

Na wah for this topic o

The world is getting smaller and smaller everyday and we're still debating issues like this, where will it end?

ibadan go talk say I can't marry ijebu, efik will say i can't marry ibiobio, Ghanian will say i can't marry a Nigerian, christain will say i can't marry a muslim...

So many reasons and yet underneath the superficial 'reasons' we're all the same.

My brother, that's the way we see it o.

@ ijebuman
I don't think it will end very soon. The human race is very much in it's infancy and our instinctual behaviours, which were usefullwhen we we're hunter-gatherers are turning against us in complex societies like ours.
People should really try to shed their irrational fear for the other/unknown. Only rationality, knowledge and education will help. We all need to come clean with our pasts.

And yes, we are all the same as the genetic variability of the human race is extremely small compared to other mammals. Divisions only serve as tools of oppression. Maybe (and I know this will sound cheeky, but do forgive me ) we need an external alien (something like in the film Independence Day) threat to make us realise that we [b]are [/b]all the same

nferyn:

Divisions only serve as tools of oppression. Maybe (and I know this will sound cheeky, but do forgive me ) we need an external alien (something like in the film Independence Day) threat to make us realise that we [b]are [/b]all the same

Have to concur even though i think Independence day was such a 'cheesy' film

ijebuman:

Have to concur even though i think Independence day was such a 'cheesy' film

Then you'll certainly like Mars Attacks!

nferyn:

Then you'll certainly like Mars Attacks!

Now you're talking, Mars Attacks! was hilarious, it was so over the top it was unreal

best scene (The Martian Ambassador greets Congress unexpectedly) 

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0116996/1-1.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0116996&seq=5

Why don't u both go to "Names of Movies" thread?

goodguy:

Why don't u both go to "Names of Movies" thread?

Oh come on.. allow us this little side step ... Seun can always clean it up if he deems it necessary

ok then..feel free

"I really don't think I can get married to an american, black or white"

Ditto......come to think of it....

Alloy is absolutely right, Wesleyan you are totally off base and making some crazy statements. You are in essence making a racist statement and then justifying it because you are black. I think you are offbase and actually in a hole and you need to stop digging with those outrageous statements. It might be your opinion, but you are not immune to a response either. I think African Americans are one of the most dynamic people on Earth and i am sure if they were not strong you would not be able to enjoy all the freedoms you have now in the US.

I think you should start thinking about what you are saying,you have a choice to date a monk if you want, but making yourself look better than a whole entire race of people is irresponsible and shallow. For the record African Americans are much more than all those examples you placed up there to make your thread Buzz!!!!!!!!!

kokecity, i don't feel like arguing with you because you're too smart to read all of my posts on the first page before trying to get off on me.. . .
don't think i don't know what your first post on this site says. because i can use that to hit you too!!
go find someone else to pick on. tons of members on this site for you. . . .


this isn't "my thread" by the way.

and you're very free to add to the "examples" since my list wasn't really already long enough for you. psshh . .

vexxy:

It really truly bothers me when someone says, "African American's are this or that" when really you can't speak that way toward any one group. There are exceptions to all of these biased judgements we put on others. It really needs to stop.

Treat everyone as an individual and not apart of "those people" or "that group" and you're sure to find some wonderful people who deserve more than what I've seen people say on here.

Besides, you are only limiting yourself when you shun a group. Last I checked, no one was better than the other be you Nigerian, American, European, Austrailian, rich, poor, girl, boy, married, or single.

I was going to say I couldn't agree more. . .but then I started thinking. . maybe I could. .

@ allonym,
glad to have you back, I missed your posts

Wesleyan, my name is Kokscity please get it right. I think your complex is clearly transparent. You think Mixed Blacks are better than full blacks? Now If that is not an Uncle Toms ideology, i am not sure where u are coming from. I know you want to attack my first post, but i am 100% Full bred Naija was born in Niaja, and lived there for atleast two decades and have had a very good experience with Africans and African Americans and all other people equally.

The point is that it is always stupid when you stereotype a whole segment of society with one brush and make some of the bone-headed statements, that are clearly racist or at the least clearly dumb. Please get your head out of your ***, and make a better more eloquent argument on race, especially when you are black. I am sorry but if your parents do not want you to date a particular set of people, and you live your life for your parents that is all good. But you do not smear people to make a point, simply because they are different from you.

Kokscity:

I know you want to attack my first post, but i am 100% Full bred Nigeria was born in Niaja, and lived there for atleast two decades and have had a very good experience with Africans and African Americans and all other people equally.

Kokscity (i spelled it Kokecity the first time, sorry)
trust me, i know you're 100% nigerian and full bred Nigerian and the 2 decades and what not.  my point is, you just don't come out of nowhere attacking me where the case already was closed and i apoplogized for any offensive post(s) (i bet you either didn't read before comenting or you just wanted someone to argue with.)
well i have good experience with people from all different races i've met. my two best friends are actually African American (not mixed but a good christian)and Indian.

But you do not smear people to make a point, simply because they are different from you.

think whatever you want but i know even you wouldn't want to date a lady you disagree with. or don't have much in common with.the relationship will not last.except in rare cases of course.(were on the topic now).

Please get your head out of your ***, and make a better more eloquent argument on race, especially when you are black.

if you're trying to criticize someone at least you have to prove yourself worthy of it. Don't be using explitives on me thinking you can get away with it with those asterixes.
By the way, all of the African American Friends i have save a very few ones SWEAR A LOT which i detest. My brother only used the word once and i had to spank him for it. Now i'm not saying only AA's swear a lot but from my experience. Not that i don't get along with them (because i do!) I just wouldn't date a guy who swears a lot.
that was just an example. don't read too deep into it . that's not the only reason i think AA i could date are hard to find.


and don't misquote me. i never said mixed blacks were better. i said. . .the ones i know where nicer.
the topic says "to date a black american". The black americans i've come across that i could possibly date are FEW (they're either mixed, devoted christians, or African (maybe 2nd generation) . a majority of the ones (African Americans) i hang out with are pretty loud and what not. they are cool though even though they tend to get in trouble a lot. And i still like them as friends not as dates.
when i say it would be hard to find a "good" AA. "good" meant "suitable" to date. and I'M TALKING FOR MYSELF HERE. you might totally fall over heads and heels for a girl who's in love w/ rap music. but i'm  not a fanatic for rap either. doesn't mean i don't listen to it. i do but not crazy about it so i really wouldn't love to have a boyfriend who listens to it 24/7.

by the ways, in the other thread you mentioned something on the line of not dating a Nigerian who wouldn't give you a Mouth Action. you have people waiting for your responce here : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-3372.96.html 
before you try to remove a speck from your neighbors eyes, check your eyes first !!!

Weslyan, i have replied the post, and i am still of the position that you said something very dumb and you needed the verbal tongue lashing. You can see how complicated and funny you sound trying to explain yourself out of the crazy position you took earlier in the thread. I hate for you to think that i am picking on you, it is not personal, i just had to set you straight . I attacked your words not you. It is water under the bridge, no harm no foul!

Kokscity

you call it "verbal tongue lashing". . . . I call it "profanity". . .

i saw you were too lazy to read my post properly so i had to break it down to you clearly like a teacher would to a little kid and good gracious you now understand my point.

I'm not weslyan by the ways.

I have met dozens of excellent african americans. I have also met quite a number of dubious Nigerians of all races. i find it really weird, that we Nigerians with our reputation for fraud and dishonesty can judge and condemn any other group of people. Are you aware that here in the UK, west-indian children are told to stay away from Nigerian kids in order to stay out of trouble?

If your parents are unaware of the facts of life, then it is our duty to tell them. Are you saying that you intend to let your parents run your life? If so, why not let them get you a spouse from the village?

The fact is that if you meet african americans from the same background and walks of life as yours, they are going to be as decent as you are. Unfortunately most of the time, because of differences in financial abilities and also because of the tendency for young people to identify with rap music and it's attendant gangster culture, many young nigerians tend to associate more with the less educated and more unruly african americans.

My grandad doesnt like it either. wonder y....? i wud like to go out with a black american but my mother wont approve shes always sayin if u try it ill disown n blah blah blah.but i think dats dumb cuz i got a few brother in laws, auntys,cousins who or either half nigeria or not nigerians at all so whas d big deal!?!

i can so relate with this topic.. speaking from experience. my bf is an akata" (black american). well my parents dont know about our relationship, and i prefer it that way because if they find out that will be wahala o. for some reasons nigerian parents are against akata's, i guess its cuz of the stereotypes that has been said about them. no matter how much i try to ignore it, the fact still remains and that is that my parents will never allow me to marry an akata. my my what a world sha.

As long as he is black, a nigerian and yoruba, i have no problem

i love black americans their sooooo gorgeous

Rhodalyn:

i love black americans their sooooo gorgeous

Follow your heart, but first sit and discuss the issue with your parents.

In the end anyways love always conquers all, so again FOLLOW YOUR HEART. If you know its right go ahead and do it. I just hope you are old enough and mature and are financial stable.

allonym

abeg try not to get too mad at wesleyan, but i completely agree with her. the african american culture and the african culture is just soooooo different. i mean i am in medical school and even teh african americans in my school are very different from teh africans here. We cant change people or worse change who we are, so its best to avoid marrying into certain cultures to avoid problems in the future. I dont feel like i need to give examples because im sure u know what im talking about. dating is not serious so if a nigerian wants to date an african american go ahead. But marriage is a very serious venture, and the majority of both black and white americans seem to be having a major problem with marriages, because of again CULTURE. i mean americans are notorious for throwing in the towel for every little thing, and giving each other ultimatums. Dont get offended please i have been to a lot of countries and majority of my friends are foreing and america is on eof the few countries that do this. GO do ur research u will see its true. NOt only that, majority of black americans i have met are never serious. whether its work or school. THeir goals dont seem high. i mean only 3% of doctors are black in america CAN U BELIEVE THAT. anyway no matter how u look at it u will get offended. which u should, and trust me, us as africans we have our own problems no be small. i have dated african americans guys, they are fun, but i will NEVER MARRY THEM. i have met some great ones but they are few few few and far in between.

finemocha:

allonym

abeg try not to get too mad at wesleyan, but i completely agree with her. the african american culture and the african culture is just soooooo different. i mean i am in medical school and even the african americans in my school are very different from the africans here. We can't change people or worse change who we are, so its best to avoid marrying into certain cultures to avoid problems in the future. I don't feel like i need to give examples because im sure u know what im talking about. dating is not serious so if a nigerian wants to date an african american go ahead. But marriage is a very serious venture, and the majority of both black and white americans seem to be having a major problem with marriages, because of again CULTURE. i mean americans are notorious for throwing in the towel for every little thing, and giving each other ultimatums. Dont get offended please i have been to a lot of countries and majority of my friends are foreing and america is on eof the few countries that do this. GO do your research u will see its true. NOt only that, majority of black americans i have met are never serious. whether its work or school. THeir goals don't seem high. i mean only 3% of doctors are black in america CAN You BELIEVE THAT. anyway no matter how u look at it u will get offended. which u should, and trust me, us as africans we have our own problems no be small. i have dated african americans guys, they are fun, but i will NEVER MARRY THEM. i have met some great ones but they are few few few and far in between.

This thread started in 2005 and today, we still need an education on what is Africa.  Black African people live all over the world, and sometimes they end up in America.  Black Africans in America who are American citizens, are we talking about these folks?  Because it would/could include people who recently became citizens or whose parents immigrated during the 20th or 21st century and they were born in America, or would/could it be those who came due to slavery?  Now are the negative comments about those who are the result of the children of slavery?  Are these the people whose "goals seem not high," where only 3% of them are doctors?  Those people are still representative of Africa.  Making insensitive comments about Black African people and knowing you are being insulting, is a form of self hate.  Black Africans who are in America, (those whose ancestry derives from slavery), have fought very hard to send those 3% to medical school.  They are not a perfect people, and I suppose your people are not either, but bottom line, we must stop the lie, (from both sides), and get to know one another and appreciate what each has to offer.  Cultures can be learned.  What you will find is if we stop pretending that slavery and colonization never skewered any of our thinking, we might be able to like one another.  Sounds like a fairy tale doesn't it?  We've built on less than that as Black African people.

One more thing, Finemocha, I read some of your other postings and you seem to love the U.S. I am gonna pray you marry a Black African man from America whose ancestors have been there for at least 5 generations, lol. One who is your equal of course.

you obviously are in America to ask the question, but what puzzles me is how you or your parents could make such an ignorant statement, Black AFricans, Indians, Mexicans, and most other ethnic non white people would never be able to realize the American dream if it were not for brave Black Americans who fought and died for the liberties you all take for granted! THe sit ins, the march on washington, the bus boycott, rent the Eyes on the prize series to know just how good we are, and you will never fix your mouth to make such an ignorant statement! I am An African American physician and none of my patients would describe me as bad. Please don't get it twisted the media is not a true representation of Black AMerica!