Nairaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 1259756 members, 1702147 topics. Date: Saturday, 25 October 2014 at 02:29 PM

My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! (7830 Views)

My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) / Can Someone Help Me Understand This Behaviour / My Husband Says I've Changed From the Person I Was (1) (2) (3) (4)

(0) (1) (Reply) (Go Down)

My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by modele2: 8:53am On Aug 10, 2009
I love my husband and i am sure he loves me too. I try my best to be a dutiful loving wife. I believe i perform all the traditional wifey roles well. We are good friends, we talk about everything and enjoy a warm relationship.

HE made a statement that 'he owns me' and i found it hard to swallow. i tot we were in the marriage business together, i watch his back he watches mine kinda relationship. I know and realise he is the head of the family and thus my head, but for me, the term ownership strikes me as master slave relationship and i refused to accept it! We havent been married long and i feel that it is correction i must make now, because i am in the marriage of my own free will.

I dunno if i am wrong to have a problem with that statement, so please i need your views and your reactions. Presently he is very angry with me(not talking to me) and says i am being a feminist, please help me to understand the term better if i am wrong, or if i am right how i can make him realise it is not so!
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by chaircover: 10:26am On Aug 10, 2009
..

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by frecklesnz: 10:31am On Aug 10, 2009
You can own an animal.  No one can own a person.  That is how it was in the past with slavery.  
The Bible says a man is the head of the woman and is responisibole to God for the actions of his family.  It also says that a man must love his wife as his own body.  Woman should obey her husband as in the Lord.  Not as an owned creature.

Your husband is not showing love to be behaving so.  However he is showing an immature understanding of his role as husband.  

My suggestion is to ask your pastor to talk to you both about love and marriage and I pray that you will both settle into the Godly roles as husband and wife.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Nobody: 11:08am On Aug 10, 2009
@poster
if he really did say that in a serious manner then you should have said that: ¨yes and I own YOU¨

7 Likes

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by sexyLeamon(f): 11:25am On Aug 10, 2009
guess he is a bit tooo possesive but see it from the brighter side maybe he means you are his.
but saying "I own you" sound kinda raw to me

1 Like

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by modele2: 2:07pm On Aug 10, 2009
@ all replies, thanks alot
MRbrownJAY:

@poster
if he really did say that in a serious manner then you should have said that: ¨yes and I own YOU¨
i guess this is would have been the best answer, though he said it jokingly. later i asked him 'to be clear on what owning me meant and if i owned him too', his reply was a stony silence. lipsrsealed
sexyLeamon:

guess he is a bit tooo possesive but see it from the brighter side maybe he means you are his.
but saying "I own you" sound kinda raw to me
it does sound harsh thats why i did not like it and considering the circumstance i did not deserve it, peharps i'll dwell on that bright side.

This wife submission thing gives me the creeps, how far can one go!
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by topsy25(m): 2:50pm On Aug 10, 2009
Believe me, u own each other; chikena grin

1 Like

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Fhemmmy: 4:24pm On Aug 10, 2009
Yes, he owns you and you own him.
So enjoy each other jare and stop worrying about lil' stuff

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Nobody: 4:45pm On Aug 10, 2009
the guy sounds like he's trying to pick a fight.

that's how they start.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Leilah(f): 6:32pm On Aug 10, 2009
thats your culture. My brother law sometimes goes out to a buffet type thing with his wife. She has to go and get him his plates of food and hand them to him, then feed the baby, then she can get her own and by the time she sits down to eat he is ready for another plate. She is inrcedibly submissive! she works full time same as her husband. She works weekends and he doesnt work weekends she comes home about 4pm and he is lying on the sofa dishes everywhere place in bits. She runs straight to the freezer and begins fresh soup. Then at night he goes out til 5am or anytime he like really.

I just dont understand,
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Fhemmmy: 6:36pm On Aug 10, 2009
Leilah:

thats your culture. My brother law sometimes goes out to a buffet type thing with his wife. She has to go and get him his plates of food and hand them to him, then feed the baby, then she can get her own and by the time she sits down to eat he is ready for another plate. She is inrcedibly submissive! she works full time same as her husband. She works weekends and he doesnt work weekends she comes home about 4pm and he is lying on the sofa dishes everywhere place in bits. She runs straight to the freezer and begins fresh soup. Then at night he goes out til 5am or anytime he like really.

I just dont understand,

He is not a man, but a useless thing.
A real man will care for the wife's emotion and not just use her like a slave.
A good wife is like jewel cup that you protect with you life and all that matters, you take care of her and make sure she is happy and when a man does that to the wife, you are sure you will get the best within her, she will even go out of her way to make the man happy.
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Leilah(f): 6:44pm On Aug 10, 2009
Thats nice what you said Fhemmy. smiley
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by mamagee6(f): 9:19pm On Aug 10, 2009
tpia.:

the guy sounds like he's trying to pick a fight.

that's how they start.



That's exactly the way they start and then they blame the woman.
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Nobody: 1:18am On Aug 11, 2009
Mama G, which one you be? The devil or the devil's advocate? tongue

@Post
Like someone said, it depends on how he said it.

Romantic, rudely, or in a business-like manner (He bought you from your parents)
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Nobody: 4:38am On Aug 11, 2009
Fhemmmy:

He is not a man, but a useless thing.
A real man will care for the wife's emotion and not just use her like a slave.
A good wife is like jewel cup that you protect with you life and all that matters, you take care of her and make sure she is happy and when a man does that to the wife, you are sure you will get the best within her, she will even go out of her way to make the man happy.

you are right about that but i also blame the wife for being THAT submissive. . . . . . . a lazy man will push his luck as much as he can and, by the look of things, that one pushed it all the way.
he is not a caring person and only his needs are important in his world.
the only way that this is going to change is when the poor wife says ITS ENOUGH, until then, she only has herself to blame.
marriage is not slavery.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Reptyle(m): 4:44pm On Aug 12, 2009
modele2:

I love my husband and i am sure he loves me too. I try my best to be a dutiful loving wife. I believe i perform all the traditional wifey roles well. We are good friends, we talk about everything and enjoy a warm relationship.

HE made a statement that 'he owns me' and i found it hard to swallow. i tot we were in the marriage business together, i watch his back he watches mine kinda relationship. I know and realise he is the head of the family and thus my head, but for me, the term ownership strikes me as master slave relationship and i refused to accept it! We havent been married long and i feel that it is correction i must make now, because i am in the marriage of my own free will.

I dunno if i am wrong to have a problem with that statement, so please i need your views and your reactions. Presently he is very angry with me(not talking to me) and says i am being a feminist, please help me to understand the term better if i am wrong, or if i am right how i can make him realise it is not so!
Well, ehhmmm, let me ask you a question. Was your husband made to pay "armed robber" dowry by your people before marrying you? I have a friend who hates (I mean like really detest his wife) because he claims marrying her almost ruined him financially. Apparently, he was made to pay a hand and a leg (plus head sef) to marry her. So now, he treats her like one of his numerous cars while he keeps SEVERAL relationships outside. He tells me all the time that he BOUGHT her with his money and so her sole duty is to bear kids for him. After that, he has told me he is going to kick her back to her family. The sad thing is that the wife doesn't even know his sinister plans.

He is pissed with her because she seemed to endorse the exorbitant pre-marital requests her family made of him. According to him, they went as far as asking him to build two HOUSES for her parents!!!! Now if that is the same thing that happened to you before marriage, then maybe you should start taking your husband's statement seriously,
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by wakagirl: 11:16pm On Aug 12, 2009
Reptyle:

Well, ehhmmm, let me ask you a question. Was your husband made to pay "armed robber" dowry by your people before marrying you? I have a friend who hates (I mean like really detest his wife) because he claims marrying her almost ruined him financially. Apparently, he was made to pay a hand and a leg (plus head sef) to marry her. So now, he treats her like one of his numerous cars while he keeps SEVERAL relationships outside. He tells me all the time that he BOUGHT her with his money and so her sole duty is to bear kids for him. After that, he has told me he is going to kick her back to her family. The sad thing is that the wife doesn't even know his sinister plans.

He is pissed with her because she seemed to endorse the exorbitant pre-marital requests her family made of him. According to him, they went as far as asking him to build two HOUSES for her parents!!!! Now if that is the same thing that happened to you before marriage, then maybe you should start taking your husband's statement seriously,

Was the lady the only one in the world he could marry? Na by force to marry her?

@topic you two own each other.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by modele2: 5:30pm On Aug 13, 2009
Reptyle:

Well, ehhmmm, let me ask you a question. Was your husband made to pay "armed robber" dowry by your people before marrying you? I have a friend who hates (I mean like really detest his wife) because he claims marrying her almost ruined him financially. Apparently, he was made to pay a hand and a leg (plus head sef) to marry her. So now, he treats her like one of his numerous cars while he keeps SEVERAL relationships outside. He tells me all the time that he BOUGHT her with his money and so her sole duty is to bear kids for him. After that, he has told me he is going to kick her back to her family. The sad thing is that the wife doesn't even know his sinister plans.

He is pissed with her because she seemed to endorse the exorbitant pre-marital requests her family made of him. According to him, they went as far as asking him to build two HOUSES for her parents!!!! Now if that is the same thing that happened to you before marriage, then maybe you should start taking your husband's statement seriously,

LOL grin

hELL NO! Infact my father returned his share of the dowry. I am thankfully employed so pitched in a little, so did our folks. I can confidently say he was not rendered bankrupt!

@ wakagirl
thanks we do own each other but me thinks my own type of ownership has to be with style and diplomacy, its not in the same level, infact its in secret becos he dosent want to hear that, according to him he can correct me, but i cant correct him, na wah oh, in this modern age.
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by coalcoal1(m): 5:00am On Oct 13, 2012
Does your husband still own you?
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by MyneWhite1(f): 10:31am On Oct 13, 2012
I am feminist and such talk, though they start small small, should not be swallowed easily.

Please you are a human being like him and he does not own you.

You will smile and accept it today, tomorrow you become punching bag.

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2012/09/victims-eliminating-domestic-violence.html
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by victorian(f): 12:36pm On Oct 13, 2012
@ op, those words of your husband owning u, is just mere words to show he is Oga, which no one disputes on... but think less of it smiley...we all know, nobody owns anybody, even in marriage, we simply companions cheesy... just words, nothing more..and he knows it.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by drnoel: 2:42pm On Oct 13, 2012
modele2: I love my husband and i am sure he loves me too. I try my best to be a dutiful loving wife. I believe i perform all the traditional wifey roles well. We are good friends, we talk about everything and enjoy a warm relationship.

HE made a statement that 'he owns me' and i found it hard to swallow. i tot we were in the marriage business together, i watch his back he watches mine kinda relationship. I know and realise he is the head of the family and thus my head, but for me, the term ownership strikes me as master slave relationship and i refused to accept it! We havent been married long and i feel that it is correction i must make now, because i am in the marriage of my own free will.

I dunno if i am wrong to have a problem with that statement, so please i need your views and your reactions. Presently he is very angry with me(not talking to me) and says i am being a feminist, please help me to understand the term better if i am wrong, or if i am right how i can make him realise it is not so!
look at u hitting ur head on d wall just cos of a simple statement. Why did u not tell him back that u own him? Or is he not ur husband?

1 Like

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by obicentlis: 7:42pm On Oct 13, 2012
@Op, I will tell d sincere truth, your hubby owns you. Period! This issue came up btw my parents, it kinda brought problem cos my mom was like you. She got to accept it when she noticed that it gotta bring in a problem.
Don't mind pple here telling you otherwise. This is Africa. African man must always feel as d head.
Just accept it and move on with life!
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Mowire: 1:57pm On Oct 14, 2012
You know, if you're a xtian & accept biblical principles & doctrines (& you should), truth is your husband does own you: That's why he's the only one who can divorce you (biblically) while you remain his til his death
Just Musing...
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Ujujoan(f): 2:11pm On Oct 14, 2012
na wa oh. so someone should not joke with his wife again? You husband said he owns you and you came to open a thread on NL. O dikwa very serious!

1 Like

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by okine4real: 6:07pm On Oct 15, 2012
most people here are not telling the writer the truth. Most people here i guess are not married, so they would not see the question the way the writer sees it. The fact is YES your husband owns YOU, and also YOU own him too. If anything happends to you God forbid, your husband is the first person your family would call and vice versa. If You DIE before you time God forbid, your husband dertermines where you would be laid to rest. The fact is am married and i must say it here, i do tell mine wife i own her. But mine reason for telling her i own her is not just because the family made me spend about 300k for just the traditional wedding, but i say it when may be i made her angry and she says she would go to her house, i would say lai lai na me get you, you nor fit leave me.... meaning, not that i was braging... i was just only playing, trying to create a disscussion. But i surely believe that the writers husband doesnot mean any harm, but rather just wanted his wife to say somethig funny in return, like if she had said, I OWN you too, then the husband would say nope you dont own me and so on.

The Gospel Truth is, if i buy something in the House and me and mine wife had a disscussion about it, she would say point of correction, i bought it with our money not mine money lol. i would say nothing or would laugh. if later in the day i want her to buy something for me, if she says she is borrowing me the money, i would tell her in return, how can you borrow me OUR money, she is return would laugh. So you see, not all words are negative, the writer please try and understand your husband, i dont think he meant any harm.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by Gagagurl: 10:41am On Nov 02, 2013
i am giving this testimony because I'm happy I got my Husband back with the help of a love spell caster

My name is Sherry from U.S.A. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster. That was in February this year after a long divorce with my husband. I met a post by a man about how he was helped by Dr. Orinoko. I decided to contact the email i met on the post. After one week my ex husband called me and we have now done our reunion. He is powerful spell caster and he could help launch some spells to bring back or reunite your ex or divorced spouse, The email address of this great man is orinokosolutiontemple1@gmail.com He can help you too. Great Dr. Orinoko i thank you very much thank you a million times.

Contact this Great and wonderful man on by email:
orinokosolutiontemple1@gmail.com
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by carefreewannabe(f): 12:15pm On Nov 02, 2013
Reptyle: Well, ehhmmm, let me ask you a question. Was your husband made to pay "armed robber" dowry by your people before marrying you? I have a friend who hates (I mean like really detest his wife) because he claims marrying her almost ruined him financially. Apparently, he was made to pay a hand and a leg (plus head sef) to marry her. So now, he treats her like one of his numerous cars while he keeps SEVERAL relationships outside. He tells me all the time that he BOUGHT her with his money and so her sole duty is to bear kids for him. After that, he has told me he is going to kick her back to her family. The sad thing is that the wife doesn't even know his sinister plans.

He is pissed with her because she seemed to endorse the exorbitant pre-marital requests her family made of him. According to him, they went as far as asking him to build two HOUSES for her parents!!!! Now if that is the same thing that happened to you before marriage, then maybe you should start taking your husband's statement seriously,

Your friend is a big I.D.I.OT! FOOL!
Did he marry her by force? Did he pay the dowry by force? IDI.OT!
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by carefreewannabe(f): 12:18pm On Nov 02, 2013
Leilah: thats your culture. My brother law sometimes goes out to a buffet type thing with his wife. She has to go and get him his plates of food and hand them to him, then feed the baby, then she can get her own and by the time she sits down to eat he is ready for another plate. She is inrcedibly submissive! she works full time same as her husband. She works weekends and he doesnt work weekends she comes home about 4pm and he is lying on the sofa dishes everywhere place in bits. She runs straight to the freezer and begins fresh soup. Then at night he goes out til 5am or anytime he like really.

I just dont understand,

Does she want to live a short life and / or look all worn out at the age of 45?
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by carefreewannabe(f): 12:22pm On Nov 02, 2013
@poster:

He is your husband and you are his wife! You "own" each other in the sense of HAVING each other unless one of you decides to leave the other, which she or he can do anytime so nobody is a slave.

If I were you, I wouldn't start a discussion on this topic. Like some people suggested, make some jokes about it, it's not worth the discussion when everything else is working out fine wink
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by deeptesting(m): 6:00pm On Nov 02, 2013
Marriage is obviously becoming a useless institution...Why should people not just remain single but rather take a vow that will bring misery and too many headaches to their lives.... I own you, you don`t own me... You don`t respect me, You are cheating on me, bla bla bla. @ OP now that your husband has openly told you that he truly owns you what do you want to do? Please confirm the context of his statement and if he truly meant what he said pack your bag and leave his house because he does not own you... I beg if you are married respect yourself and the marriage institution and drop all your silly ego i mean both husbands and wives otherwise get a divorce and continue in single.
Re: My Husband Says He Owns Me- Help Me Understand! by ann1111: 5:28am On Jul 23
I am Mrs ANDERSON ANN from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband Barry Morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Clara who en charm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr Iyayi. who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss Rose ask me to contact Dr Iyayi. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.Iyayi on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact driyayilovespellhome@gmail.com. or contact him through his website address: http://driyayilovespellhome You can also contact him through his mobile: +2347032617285.
You can also view my testimony on my blogger site: http://andersonann511.blogspot.com/201 .He is the best spell caster.

(0) (1) (Reply)

Best Way To Correct Children / Is Being Married And Having Kids A Stumbling Block To One's Dreams And Goals. / A Man Who Expects Good Food & Doesn't Drop Money

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See Nairalist and How To Advertise. 147
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.