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Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? - Family (14) - Nairaland

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Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 2:20pm On May 31, 2016
IkpuMmadu:


Oga what is meaningless


Let us start encouraging people marrying their likes ...it's not a nive thing disobeying parents just to marry

We will all be parents someday so why will you advise somebody to disobey

And why should a lady throw herself on a man that his family doesn't want her...there should be dignity

Why can't the lady simply walk away and let the man sort this thing out of he really wants


This is shameful a lady comes to public forum to lament about Igbo man not marrying her...for Christ sake sue can find men in her tribe or is her tribal men not marriage material


This is shameful ..and for a lady for that matter ...we know husbands are scarce but there should be dignity NAA



A man should be the one doing the chasing .....

You have some point

but I think its harsh to say a lady shouldn't
lament about such situation in public

Women are not naturally built to comply to such
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 2:59pm On May 31, 2016
I am harsh`,`c`os i dont smoke harshish
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 5:46pm On May 31, 2016
theDEVILisHERE:


You have some point

but I think its harsh to say a lady shouldn't
lament about such situation in public

Women are not naturally built to comply to such


Noted

But I said the fact
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 6:58pm On May 31, 2016
IkpuMmadu:

Noted
But I said the fact
Definately
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 7:10pm On May 31, 2016
kaziblake:
My dear this is tough o..i will advice you to seek God face,if it doesn't work out then find your way.
My cousin is married to an Igbo guy and they are doing fine.
His parent approved the marriage cos they are well learned and aren't tribalistic likewise her parent too...Tribalism is mostly common among the illiterates.
My yoruba friend is facing the same the same issue from her father cos of her igbo boo,her boyfriend parent accepted her wholeheartedly but her own father is the main issue..She took in and she is currently 8month gone but her father is still adamant.
May God help you and morenike

she decided to take in while her father is still adamant??! ha children of these days

IMHO this should only be allowed to happen if the lady is in her mid-30's approaching 40's
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 7:15pm On May 31, 2016
theDEVILisHERE:


she decided to take in while her father is still adamant??! ha children of these days

IMHO this should only be allowed to happen if the lady is in her mid-30's approaching 40's
She is 26yrs but they both love themselves that why she took in
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 7:21pm On May 31, 2016
dragonking2:
In the past Igbos were not too tribalistic but now Igbos are very tribalistic. Its a big shame embarassed embarassed

In fact they need to be more tribalistic if you asked me cause their very existence as a people depends on it

Their being to liberal in the past is what put them in the current mess they're in now

1 Like

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 7:39pm On May 31, 2016
kaziblake:
She is 26yrs but they both love themselves that why she took in

26yrs and she did that? ha, some of una dey tryoo

Anyway, most Igbo will not easily abandon the mother of their child so she might not have that problem in the future, but the fact is doing such decision is not smart of any lady

You ladies need to learn to make rational decision cause this sentimental emotional decision making you people do all the time is what is always putting you in problems

I know it's hard for most of you to do but you have to learn it
After all you guys want equal rights with men so start trying to reason like them too
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 7:49pm On May 31, 2016
theDEVILisHERE:


26yrs and she did that? ha, some of una dey tryoo

Anyway, most Igbo will not easily abandon the mother of their child so she might not have that problem in the future, but the fact is doing such decision is not smart of any lady

You ladies need to learn to make rational decision cause this sentimental emotional decision making you people do all the time is what is always putting you in problems

I know it's hard for most of you to do but you have to learn it
After all you guys want equal rights with men so start trying to reason like them too
if my parents refuse my choice of husband I will do the same to(pregnancy)
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 7:50pm On May 31, 2016
Meanwhile
How una take dey do did 3,5,10yrs boy friend girl friend relationship thing

If 1 stay with you a day after 2yrs then you must be sure I'm marrying you cause I cannot stay with someone that long except you are proper for my future

there no point wasting time on who is not ment 4 you
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 7:53pm On May 31, 2016
kaziblake:
if my parents refuse my choice of husband I will do the same to(pregnancy)

This is why you ladies always run into trouble


Always irrational with your decision making
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 12:07am On Jun 01, 2016
sammied:





You're a green snake tribal idiot... my fiancee is igbo and we're presently going through the same issues. my Yoruba parents and siblings have accepted her with overwhelming love.... yet her tribalistic igbo parents have not done the same by accepting me....very shortsighted igbo folks....

Putting her under undue pressure, treating their own daughter as though she's a commodity... thank God she's madly inlove with me and I have been the best man she will ever dream of... she has stood her ground, it's either us or nobody else for her...

so we should throw away 2 years of our life together cos her igbo parents cannot get over their myopic tribalistic views? in this 21st century...

in choosing who to marry.... You all should know that as important as your parents are, they're simply your past not ur future, your intend hubby or wifey is your future and you have the choice either to get Stucked with the past or move on with your future....

It's a pity in this part of the world that bad things that has been long abolished in other countries is still been celebrated here....

You don't force people to give you their daughter to marry
If they refuse, you pack your bag and go somewhere else

it is not your birthright

1 Like

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 12:15am On Jun 01, 2016
femmefetale:


My dear, I'm In an inter tribal relationship presently and my man sef is already castigating where I'm from. It's not easy calming him down. I'm from Anambra, he is from Akwa ibom, and all he says is that the igbos hate to marry from his place. I don't find it funny at all, because he always rings it like a bell bin my hears ALL THE TIME.

Igbo's marry Akwa Ibom (efik/Ibibio) people more than any other group or tribe

What is ur Man talking about?!

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Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 12:18am On Jun 01, 2016
udoka2:
i will Segregate abit here... please pardon me.

If he is from Anambra... my advise is please move on. They love marrying themselve.

if Imo or Abia., the will likely accept you if you behave well after marriage. l trust typical yoruba woman to appear humble whether they mean it or not. You will get the love of an average igbo parent with typical 'yoruba attitude of humility'.


This is just an option, please dont nail me if you are from Anambra, there is always exception to the rule.

Abia is not as open as you think
Most prefer marrying from their constituency sef
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 12:53am On Jun 01, 2016
richyblink1:


Brotherly, yeah it's true we will all be father's sooner than later. But a son (man) calmly and boldly telling/ making his people know where his heart and genuine feeling lies, isn't an act of disobedience if you ask me. It's simply obeying and following your heart to make a decision that will either make you unhappy for the rest of your life, or make you a better man in the future.

Parents should learn to guide their children in decision making and not to control and force them to do their bidding

Parents have duty is to preserve the culture and traditions of their forefathers by passing it down to their kids

INTER TRIBAL, INTER RACIAL or inter what ever MARRIAGE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE ENCOURAGED

Those who want to engage in it for themselves can go ahead
but such ABNORMALITY should not be promoted in any way whatsoever

You don't encourage abnormal situations if you want society to remain balanced
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 1:09am On Jun 01, 2016
waternogetemeny:
Anybody that thinks OP is woman need to get their head checked. That is a tribalistic Yoruba man obessessed with marriage to Igbo.


He joined nairaland this month and this is the only valid topic to post on FP despite all the problems Nigeria is experiencing.


Go and cover ur head in shame.


igbos should think deeply of baning marriages to Yoruba so dey can rest and let us rest too.

lol
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 8:34am On Jun 01, 2016
prettyboi1:
I won't talk long,..."Love conquers all!" If you love him and he loves you too, that's almost all that matters. You both would need to protect each other from tribal issues on both your side and his.

What Rubbish love

Look there is nothing love when it comes to relationship!!!!!!

What you have is attraction of various degrees and forms

Love is in the blood and only exist within family/blood lines

This is what the natural setting of Love is!

Not the Romantic Bunkum which the white man brainwashed most of you African zombies into believing in

That is why it is impossible to hate your blood

You might resent your blood but can never hate your blood

Resentment can be corrected but hate cannot be corrected cause it stems from a permanent issue

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Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by theDEVILisHERE: 9:15am On Jun 01, 2016
Chinaimporter:
[b][size=13pt]As an igboman who have nothing against other tribes in Nigeria, I will like to ask you to do the right thing by refusing to marry my brother.
We igbos care about out genetic integrity and genetic hygiene so much that we find it difficult to dilute the genes of our progeny with that of people with inferior genetic makeup.
This same thing is happening in the north where the superior Fulani blood is gradually been diluted with threat of the Chadic and Proto kwa inferior elements.
I am a product of a mixed race marriage and my mother is Yoruba. As such I have always hated myself and always quarrel with my father for diluting the blood of eri that flow through my vein with that of the Yoruba race.
It is better for all Africans to allow the igbos remain pure since just like the Germans are helping Europe today,igbos will be the savior of the black race.
I have nothing against other tribes or people but I strongly believe in the blueness of the Igbo blood and I have no problem with people believing in their own blood too.
In other to return my progeny to their initial height, I have decided to marry only a lady from the purest Igbo stock that can be found only in anambra(onitsha inclusive since the few Benin blood have been assimilated and over diluted with obosi and Ogidi material)Enugu state and asaba areas of delta state(agbor exluded due to Benin admixture)....other Igbo state have these kind of people but it is now difficult to detect since a lot of dilution have happened over the years especially in imo[/size][/b]

The imbalance from your mix-heritage is exhibited in this confusionist post of yours

if your knowledgeable you would have known that Abia, Anambara, Umuahia, Port Harcourt, Imo, Ebonyi etc
are not original but mere creations of Imperialist and their black slaves

They are not true identities and should not be used for nonsensical superiority grading crap ment to create confusion among Igbo's

When the time is right things would be sorted out the way they originally used to be

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Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 2:06pm On Jun 01, 2016
kaziblake:
if my parents refuse my choice of husband I will do the same to(pregnancy)
Nawa
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 5:06pm On Jun 01, 2016
IkpuMmadu:

Nawa
Yes!I will get pregnant for him.
Any problem?
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 12:07pm On Jun 17, 2016
richyblink1:


Since you are Igbo, let me make it easier for you.
Ask what it means for an Anambra man to marry outside his town, not to talk of marrying outside his state and tribe. Are you forgetting this slogan,"mma anyi siri" cheesy



There's this feud between Anambra men and ladies from other states.

mma anti siri



it will only take the grace of God for me to date an anambra man again.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 12:13pm On Jun 17, 2016
udoka2:
i will Segregate abit here... please pardon me.

If he is from Anambra... my advise is please move on. They love marrying themselve.

if Imo or Abia., the will likely accept you if you behave well after marriage. l trust typical yoruba woman to appear humble whether they mean it or not. You will get the love of an average igbo parent with typical 'yoruba attitude of humility'.


This is just an option, please dont nail me if you are from Anambra, there is always exception to the rule.


Anambra men love marrying them selves no doubt. I can testify to that.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 12:15pm On Jun 17, 2016
kaziblake:
Yes!I will get pregnant for him.
Any problem?


That's a cheap way
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Unibenfucker(m): 4:53pm On Sep 01, 2016
legalspices:
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.

Hi sup bae


Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Unibenfucker(m): 4:53pm On Sep 01, 2016
[quote author=legalspices post=45964154]Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.

Hi sup bae


Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy[/quota te]


Hi sup baby
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by dprincedej(m): 12:19pm On Mar 24, 2017
Five yrs is long. It may not be as long as the sad days ahead. If the hav not come to terms in five yrs, they may never. Mil would frustrate u. Love is not enough. If ur man can stand up for u, by now, he would hav changed their minds.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by ellamines(f): 10:00pm On May 22, 2017
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.

[b]
Wont I be treated like an outcast?? [/b]My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy

Hmmm! It's really funny how I stumbled upon this thread that is just a exactly what I experienced too.

My dear, I hurt like mad and thought I was going to die cos I loved him too.

Our stories may not end up the same way but I'm still going to share with you what I did:

1) I moved on after dating him for 5 years
2) I prayed for divine Healing and Grace to move on
3) I told myself I wasn't going to put him under any pressure of having to choose between me and his family
4) I didn't want to end up being a desperate unhappy daughter in law who would seek tirelessly to please her inlaws. I deserved better than that. Every good woman deserves happiness in her home.
5) He (my ex) wasn't exactly a 'fighter', his Dad was headstrong about it and told him point blank he would not be a part of it. Now, did I really want to strain his relationship with his family? NO!
6) I had to tell myself some truth... There are many good men, infact better men. If after praying and crying for this one, we're still 'jamming rock' from his end, then GOD must have far better plans for me.
7) I ensured I harboured no bitterness against him or family. Forgiveness is key if you must move on.
cool I didn't let their rejection tamper with my self esteem. I am a strong beautiful Igbo woman. If Benin will not accept me, it's by no means my headache. My Creator did the best job on me, no one was going to make me think different

Few years down the line, I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. Honestly, words can't describe.

So Sweetheart, fight till your fist bleed, give it all you got but when push gets to shove, pick up your wonderful self and prayerfully move on to where your Man will pick you without hassles. And when you do, don't be in a haste to date again. Take time to heal, pray, work on being a better woman.

God bless you.

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