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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? (37678 Views)
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Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by tman14(m): 7:59pm On May 26, 2016 |
@legalspices it's a tough one. I won't advice you to break the relationship, in the same vein marrying him without his parents' consent may not augur well for the future. Try to let him know that you value his parent's blessings. Let the parents also see from your attitude that you mean well to the family and you cherish their son. Finally, your man has a big role to play in making them realise you are meant to be together. My experience may not be as extreme but was similar to yours. My wife played a big role in making her people realise that it is not all about tribalism. #myopinion |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Olabestonic001(m): 8:00pm On May 26, 2016 |
Vickyydera: |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Olabestonic001(m): 8:01pm On May 26, 2016 |
Vickyydera: On the security of a woman whose husband dies, Igbo's culture is worst hit. They treat the woman like poo and they'll just take over the husband's properties. Yoruba's culture protects female than Igbo's. In Igbo cultures, the woman has no right and benefits to either her father's properties or her late husband's. In Yoruba culture, the woman is given the husband's full properties (if she give birth to child (ren)) and something tangible if she has none. With her father's properties, she's eligible to portions like other children. Kindly prove to me where the Igbo culture protects a young window. 3 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by CruellaDeville: 8:11pm On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices: Well it's up to you to examine the whole scenario properly and make your decision. If you think you can stick it through, good. You know yourself and you know your partner, follow through or let it go. |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 8:18pm On May 26, 2016 |
Sweetguy25:He is from IMO...orlu to be precise |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 8:18pm On May 26, 2016 |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 8:20pm On May 26, 2016 |
Honestly I pray your love can stand the test of time. When I date I don't see tribe ...and when I fall in love I really do and stick to it. I will advise you answer your question Can you bare it? If not your own husband will compromise with you and his family 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 8:20pm On May 26, 2016 |
Olabestonic001: If the young widow is pretty.....ekuchie ya 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 8:22pm On May 26, 2016 |
sammied: Re it's the ten commandments |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by TheArchangel(f): 8:26pm On May 26, 2016 |
Olabestonic001:It will be better if you desist from writing what you don't know. Maybe the people you associates with dont care but a whole lots of Igbos aren't heartless to leave their brother's widow and family to wallow in penury evn with the "supposed" forceful collection of properties and all Whatnots. Women who allows their properties to be taken away from them are weak minded, those who are often purposeless and spend their time as housewives oblivious of their husband's assets and properties. The " I don kia " women who rely on others all their lives that when the cocks comes home to roost are often left stranded. Igbo ladies has their own share of their fathers properties on their wedding day...the idu uno. It all spends on how buoyant the family is. So I don't see the reason for the comparison with those who chose to do theirs later. Who am I going to use to prove to you how we take care of our widows and who are you going to use to prove to me how you take care of your widows It is all subjective. The nollywood portrayal of Igbo treatment of widows should be taken with bags of salts. 5 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 8:27pm On May 26, 2016 |
sammied: Exodus 20:12 ► New International Version "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 8:30pm On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu:I think you are an old man...make I no talk wetin dey my mind |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Olabestonic001(m): 8:43pm On May 26, 2016 |
TheArchangel: Its not Nollywood dear, its culture! The Igbo culture definitely see women as mostly unfit who just served two major purposes of giving a good yield when married out and producing lotta babies. I'm glad some literate Igbo's are outgrowing that cultural misnomers. Countless Igbo's widows I knew were heavily demonized and maltreated when their young husbands died. Igbo's marital systems are still evolving like any other one and I sincerely hope the torture young widows undergoes in the hands of their in-laws would be abolished. 3 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IkpuMmadu: 8:50pm On May 26, 2016 |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 8:52pm On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu:aragbagi |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Prosperousman(m): 8:58pm On May 26, 2016 |
Personal happiness should be your priority here. |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Olabestonic001(m): 9:02pm On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu: The Bible says " Honor" and not take your life directions from them. The only time the Bible mentioned "Obey" your parents was with the extension "in the Lord" or how can you justify obeying a parent who wont even be there all the days of my marital life and who can't even conveniently tell me when he'll die? I respect parents so much but they must have know you as "Atilla" the rebel to carry out a successful cultural reorientation on tribalistic parents. All such parents as op's parents are fortunate not to have me as their son. I'll simply tell these parents to give me the full templates of my life if they feel they wanna control it as they wished and I'm bound to query if they were so sure they'll be born Igbo's. Omo, when I was about to make a crucial career decision like that, one Emeritus Professor was trying to command me on my future. I simply told the man to tell me how the future he's trying to pan out will turn out to be and he felt I was rude. I tell you, I had the way GOD planned out for me and not the Profs decisions. The current VC of Osun state university was a principal player in dt decision. Let me tell you, I owe no loyalty to cultural misnomers and I encourage all men to follow suite! If you can't tell me why I must tow your lines rather than "because I'm your parent" thingy, sorry, I will declare you a saboteur of my destiny upon your sentimental justifications or low self-esteem. But, I must say my guts is bcoz my allegiance is to ONE who is superior to my ancestral and cultural bias. JESUS CHRIST. 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 9:03pm On May 26, 2016 |
Olabestonic001:you watch too much nollywood movies, that's your problem. If you marry from outside tribe and your hussy die, the family will treat you like poo cos you are not from their tribe its simple. 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by TheArchangel(f): 9:10pm On May 26, 2016 |
Olabestonic001:And you know this by how. Culture.? Whose culture? You are not even Igbo to write that it is culture. Smh. Please enough of this subjective trash. Your comment is the most fallacious statement on cyberspace. Where are the stats for the tortured young widows? Please desist from commenting on what you know nothing about. You are in a wrong circle to have lots of young demonized widows. What a story. Nollywood is really making a sale where you are Tell your sister to marry from your evolved tribe and leave Igbos alone. What the heck. Na by force 3 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by malachytochukwu(m): 9:14pm On May 26, 2016 |
You didn't make plenty sense in your post bro. I don't know which part of the country you are from, however, I advise that you should discard such anachronistic way of reasoning. Some of my cousins are married to white ladies who no nothing about this country and we are just fine IkpuMmadu: |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by brownsug(f): 9:15pm On May 26, 2016 |
Truth! I'm yoruba but I keep seeing ibo guys and I know that dem no fit get serious especially amambra meself I no waste my human resources femmefetale: 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Olabestonic001(m): 9:17pm On May 26, 2016 |
Vickyydera: That's not true. An Igbo lady married a Yoruba friend's uncle and he died young. The family ensured she and her children got the house and properties belonging to the man and I tell you she's been telling people that her tribe would have treated her very badly had she married an Igbo man. The truth is Igbo's culture needs to be fine-tunned to give all the man's properties to his wife and kids immediately he dies. Even amidst Igbo's, immediately the man dies, his brother's will come to take over his properties and all. Does it mean they didn't trust that the young woman he left behind as any brain to manage her hussy's properties? Can you disprove that? I'm speaking from various experiences I've observed amongst Igbo's young widows. How can you pay heavy bride price on a woman and still culturally see her as not-worthy of the man's assets. Still sucks with lotta Igbo young widows experiences I can relate perfectly with. |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Olabestonic001(m): 9:28pm On May 26, 2016 |
TheArchangel: You might try so much to explain this away but that's the practice with most Igbotic cultures. My better-half is Igbo and I've seen the trend all my life long. I daresay that its easier to marry an Igbo lady than to marry the man. Reason?: Igbo culture "gives" out their daughter in marriage (very wonderful practice) but Igbo men are eternally at the mercies of choosing their culture ahead of their family of procreation. While these could be very good, it does not at present protect a young widow. 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by DeRay98(m): 9:32pm On May 26, 2016 |
CruellaDeville: Don't the night of Igbo parents, if they say "no" it's "no".. Pls move on.... |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by dokiOloye(m): 9:44pm On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu:d dream of d average Igbo parents is for d son/daughter to marry from the next compound in their village if possible but then,if the son/daughter insists from marrying outside,there is nothing they can do esp if they go ahead and marry and d babies start coming. The Igbos I know are no longer so strict on that esp when d said daughter/son in law is naturally a good person and is hardworking etc. 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 10:06pm On May 26, 2016 |
femmefetale:my yoruba sister forming ibo girl. Are we cursed? Are we inferior? |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 10:08pm On May 26, 2016 |
Ooni: Bgtdcbjutssvhjutdscbjudsetyjvdgiterxtc6hjh7f5d44jbkjibtx4x5vug5s4s4fh8jibuc4s4cunoj8g5dybih7g6fhv |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by sammied(m): 10:10pm On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu: where in that verse did it mention that your parents are your god while you're on earth? SMH for you.... 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 10:10pm On May 26, 2016 |
Kobicove:if you are ibo better dont take most people on this thread serious. They are yoruba like myself claiming ibo and attacking anybody who is against inter-ethnic marriage. Inferiority complex is the greatest problem in this part of the country. 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 10:18pm On May 26, 2016 |
femmefetale:op see the people giving you advice some of them claiming ibo girls are yoruba guys like me that is how desperate we yorubas can get 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 10:31pm On May 26, 2016 |
IGLE25:super story you are not heling our sister by fabricating stories |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 10:36pm On May 26, 2016 |
MysteriousPrinc:liar! |
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