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Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? - Family (12) - Nairaland

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Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 10:42pm On May 26, 2016
Kingnonny:
My friend's sister Nikky just wedded last Saturday to a handsome dude from Osun while she's Anambra, my point is that you guys need both parents consent, approval and blessings. Since the marriage seems more important to you. Look your assignment is your man he needs to man up, I wish I know you personally. But all the same you must talk sense into your man's head, if truly he loves you then you must make him understand that his sources of happiness(you) needs a strong support cos I believe all they want for him is just the best . See let me tell you the family is trying to be over protective over their son, if you can make them understand you know what they are doing and that you must not let them have any regret for marrying you. You have a duty to make him talk sense into his people they must not really like you over night but just get that little approval from them and be a good woman to them. I have seen lots of Yoruba-Igbo marriages that more harmonious & successful. But in everything there is a hand that controls the heart of men, I'll advice you move that hand to favor you.
go to literature section and start releasing stories

2 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by SweetGuy225: 10:51pm On May 26, 2016
legalspices:

He is from IMO...orlu to be precise

I'm also from orlu, we marry other tribes a lot. In fact, the wife of our village king is a yoruba woman.
The only thing keeping you from getting married is you and your fiancee. If you people want to get you'll get married. After you're married you can appease his parents with your charm and goodwill.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 10:54pm On May 26, 2016
Vickyydera:
I am an Igbo girl from IMO but to be sincere, this is the most tribalistic comment I have ever set my eyes on.
my yoruba brother stop decieving our sister.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:00pm On May 26, 2016
kingdavidG:



What sort of RUBBISH is this? People who cherish Unity and Peaceful co-existence doesn't talk this way, I referred to this as RUBBISH because I examined to see if I can find a reasonable point, but unfortunately I couldn't find any. All these "Will you... Will you... Will you..." are targeted at creating negative impression and building tension and fright, which is RUBBISH. Those rites attached to the "Will you(s)" are nothing and lacks the capacity to be a burden or thing of concern. I BE ORIGINAL IGBO BOY, those things ain't Big Deal. Being ignorant of their meaning has been use as tool to create fright.
ogbeni your are my yoruba brother. I know one of us why i sight them
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:03pm On May 26, 2016
Chukazu:
that juju that would make me marry from my tribe and miss out from the beautiful diversity of this multi-culturally amazing country will never succeed.

beauty in diversity
must marry outside my tribe
this is why ibos see us as inferior.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:07pm On May 26, 2016
Gabby91:
to ikpummadu and his ilk, tribe? race? God is watching us so called Christians. all I know is acts 10:34 says 'At this Peter began to speak, and he said: “Now I truly understand that God is not partial, 35 but in every nation the man who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.
u should focus on compatibility, communication and other important factors not tribe.
did Bible also say that marriage is by force?
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 11:25pm On May 26, 2016
Ooni:
op

see the people giving you advice

some of them claiming ibo girls are yoruba guys like me

that is how desperate we yorubas can get
I bet it's an old man that is behind this moniker...an old man whose life depends on nairaland...an old man who sits at home while his mates make money...pretending to be yoruba while you aren't

3 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:27pm On May 26, 2016
kaziblake:
I bet it's an old man that is behind this moniker...an old man whose life depends on nairaland...an old man who sits at home while his mates make money...pretending to be yoruba while you aren't
thats your business. I am just calling out liars and decievers
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 11:30pm On May 26, 2016
Ooni:
thats your business. I am just calling out liars and decievers
Shut up!i have watch you and that other one with a Yoruba moniker spew trash...you mate are making money,you are here clowning yourself.
Anuofia,
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:35pm On May 26, 2016
kaziblake:
Shut up!i have watch you and that other one with a Yoruba moniker spew trash...you mate are making money,you are here clowning yourself.
Anuofia,
you can continue making money at night when responsible people are sleeping. Later u'll want to force urself on an iboman. I am a yoruba and wont watch pple cheat a fellow man, tribe notwithstanding.

4 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 11:37pm On May 26, 2016
Ooni:
you can continue making money at night when responsible people are sleeping. Later u'll want to force urself on an iboman. I am a yoruba and wont watch pple cheat a fellow man, tribe notwithstanding.
Anumanu
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:41pm On May 26, 2016
kaziblake:
Anumanu
is that your surname?

4 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 11:42pm On May 26, 2016
Ooni:
is that your surname?
Ikpu nne gi..aragbagi there..onye ara
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:48pm On May 26, 2016
kaziblake:
Ikpu nne gi..aragbagi there..onye ara
i've exposed you.
I want op to know you can't give any reasonable advice.

Imagine an unmarriageable person like you giving marital advice

bring it on, I am enjoying ur frustration. If not i would've called for ur ban

4 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 11:51pm On May 26, 2016
Ooni:
i've exposed you.
I want op to know you can't give any reasonable advice.

Imagine an unmarriageable person like you giving marital advice

bring it on, I am enjoying ur frustration. If not i would've called for ur ban
I have said my own...I have better stuff to do
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Ooni: 11:57pm On May 26, 2016
kaziblake:
I have said my own...I have better stuff to do
u can now continue with ur fake bible bible quoting my two-faced yoruba sister claiming ibo. That is why other tribes dont marry you people except we yorubas. U guys are burden to us. That is why we marry second wives. Even our ooni married from Edo.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nyceguy92: 12:38am On May 27, 2016
DedeNkem:


5yrs is not maimai.

You're worried about things that haven't happened yet, simply because your guy's parents don't like the relationship.

As long as you love him and he loves you, his parents will definitely come around. Parents always come around, especially, if you have great attitude.

You should be glad that his siblings don't have issues with the relationship and don't give a f*uck about ethnicity. Instead of thinking about ending the relationship, you should rather focus on ways to establish a good rapport with his parents.

Don't f*uck with your relationship because of his parents. If you end it to move on, then it would mean you're unfit to handle difficulties that do arise sometimes in a relationship.

Thank you my brother.
Yours is one of the very few realistic and objective comments on this crucial issue.
Parents always succumb in the end to superior argument. They can only advise but not have the final say.

Some people look at if the marriage did not work.
They are just being pessimistic and ignoring the fact that these adults love each other
But what if it became a huge success?

Sure the guy has uncles, aunts, etc, who will have a different view from his parents.
My father in law initially kicked against our marriage because of his own preferences.
Her bothers and sisters, uncles...everybody told him to leave her daughter to choose.

Because we knew the depth of our love and how well we knew/complemented each other, we stood our grounds.
She left home for Lagos in frustration.
I refused to listen to my people when they advised me to search among the "numerous women" around.
In fact, I took the decision not to marry any more and I meant it.

Fast forward 3 years later, dad changed his mind.
Now I am his best guy and our marriage has been the envy of my friends.
Love is the key.

1 Like

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by SWITANN(f): 1:16am On May 27, 2016
legalspices:
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.


Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy






IF you really love this guy and he also loves you,you guys can make it work. one thing about parents is that they love their children and want them to be happy. obviously they want the best for their son thats why they think an Igbo lady is suitable for him. you have to show them that you are more suitable than the igbo lady they prefer. if its to learn how to prepare those igbo delicacies they think their son will stop enjoying,prove them wrong. parents can be stubborn but you have to be more stubborn too but not disrespectful. i know many people that their parents are from different tribes,surely it wasn't easy for them to get their family approval but they made it work. if u really love this guy and he the same,you guy have to sit down and discuss deeply how to convince your parents. parents can prove stubborn but their hearts are not made of stone,they are human. you just have to made them understand, talk to them softly. it will take time but they'll surely change their mind

2 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by DedeNkem: 1:24am On May 27, 2016
Nyceguy92:


Thank you my brother.
Yours is one of the very few realistic and objective comments on this crucial issue.
Parents always succumb in the end to superior argument. They can only advise but not have the final say.

Some people look at if the marriage did not work.
They are just being pessimistic and ignoring the fact that these adults love each other
But what if it became a huge success?

Sure the guy has uncles, aunts, etc, who will have a different view from his parents.
My father in law initially kicked against our marriage because of his own preferences.
Her bothers and sisters, uncles...everybody told him to leave her daughter to choose.

Because we knew the depth of our love and how well we knew/complemented each other, we stood our grounds.
She left home for Lagos in frustration.
I refused to listen to my people when they advised me to search among the "numerous women" around.
In fact, I took the decision not to marry any more and I meant it.

Fast forward 3 years later, dad changed his mind.
Now I am his best guy and our marriage has been the envy of my friends.
Love is the key.

Thanks for liking my response to the main post. My post made sense because I've had a similar experience.

My woman's father wanted all his daughters to marry from a certain Igbo region. Her mother and siblings didn't care about where I came from. Her father being a very strict man wouldn't have it, but my woman boldly defied his wish, to be with who she love.

The man later became my buddy after he realized that no geographical location has a monopoly of good men. Parents always come around if you've the right attitude.

Nobody has any right to dictate to any adult on who to love or marry, and no real adult should tolerate that.

1 Like

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by prettyboi1(m): 1:38am On May 27, 2016
I won't talk long,..."Love conquers all!" If you love him and he loves you too, that's almost all that matters. You both would need to protect each other from tribal issues on both your side and his.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IGLE25(m): 3:03am On May 27, 2016
I see no reason why I should fabricate story when someone needs an advice. To you it is story to some others it makes a lot of sense. You that is not telling story render you own advise and if you don't have any to contribute you had better stop quoting pple.. I am not here to seek people opinion but to offer the little I can when it is most needed. Thank you Mr. Sabi all, that is why you are still where you are. Grow up...

2 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 3:13am On May 27, 2016
Ooni:
op

see the people giving you advice

some of them claiming ibo girls are yoruba guys like me

that is how desperate we yorubas can get


What is wrong with you mister?
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by cococandy(f): 4:17am On May 27, 2016
What do you mean by typical Igbo people?

We marry other tribes.

It depends on individuals.
Nothing typical about it.

PresVA:
If your fiance's parents are learned, they may eventually come around... but if they're typical traditional Igbo people, no 'Jupiter' can move their stance, they are even ready to disown their son.... My dear, you may just have to move on if his parents are so adamant except you won't be coming to the village after marriage. .then, God forbid if anything happens to the man after marriage, hmmmmm lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Then, what's your fiance's stand thus far? Is he shaky?

Whatever decision you make, I will advise he gets his parent's approval before proceeding to marry you. . Forget about his siblings who are indifferent about the whole thingy, they'll take their parent's side eventually if all of you don't come together to agree. ...
All d best...

2 Likes

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by chrispratt: 4:39am On May 27, 2016
legalspices:
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.



Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy



Funny that it happened to me too and what's worse? We were both igbo but just because we were not from the same state? Wtf? His parents refused. After dating for so long. Anyway it ended up in my favor because I'm happily married to someone else and you know what? We're from completely different tribes and I couldn't be happier grin kiss wink

What I'm trying to say is that don't waste your time for a man that would not make his own decisions regarding whom to marry. This is 2016. Girl, you don't want to settle for less, no time to waste.

If you want to wait around for him to change his mind that's on you, but that was my experience.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 7:16am On May 27, 2016
chrispratt:




Funny that it happened to me too and what's worse? We were both igbo but just because we were not from the same state? Wtf? His parents refused. After dating for so long. Anyway it ended up in my favor because I'm happily married to someone else and you know what? We're from completely different tribes and I couldn't be happier grin kiss wink

What I'm trying to say is that don't waste your time for a man that would not make his own decisions regarding whom to marry. This is 2016. Girl, you don't want to settle for less, no time to waste.

If you want to wait around for him to change his mind that's on you, but that was my experience.
My male friend fiancee parent also refused him to marry their daughter because he is from abia and she is from anambra state..He his even on nairaland.
Anambra sees their selves superior to all igbos
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 7:35am On May 27, 2016
Odichi:
Wow 5 yrs is a lot. Anyways if d said guy is an Imo ibo there is still hope for u, but if he is Anambra ibo man then ur situation is a hopeless one. cause they don't marry outside their state. Even to marry to other ibo states no easy. Tk
It's IGBO
stop this Imo and anambra igbo thing you harbingers of separation and disunity. IGBO IS IGBO. An IGBOs state of origin dsnt make him more or less igbo.
Stop this segregation amongst our pple.
We don't say ekiti or OGUN Yoruba is dis or dat. Respect yourself. You are warned
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 7:45am On May 27, 2016
To understand people better you have to respect their culture.
IGBO culture sees an igbo man and woman in marriage as sacred and divine. It has nothing to do with tribalism as this culture has been ongoing by our ancestors before they knew any Yoruba or hausa.
We prefer to marry amongst ourselves because of the longevity of the igbo race, similarities in culture and mutual understandings.
You will notice that IGBOs marry the efiks/ibibios probably more than any other tribe because we have some things in common with them.
Bear it in mind that the asians(Chinese, Japanese) , and even East Africans(Somalia, Ethiopians) marry amongst themselves for d same reasons but aren't termed as 'tribalist'.
I am especially dissapointed reading the comments of some self acclaimed "igbos" here probably those born and bred in lagos who have never entered their village spewing extreme ignorance about their culture which they have no idea about.
Respect igbo culture.

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 7:48am On May 27, 2016
kaziblake:
My male friend fiancee parent also refused him to marry their daughter because he is from abia and she is from anambra state..He his even on nairaland.
Anambra sees their selves superior to all igbos
What do you want to gain from this post other than likes and disunity.
Why don't you go about posting the disunity problems of your own tribe for the world to see?
You better stop this nonsense and keep quiet on issues you know nothing about.
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 7:51am On May 27, 2016
TellingItAsItIs:

What do you want to gain from this post other than likes and disunity.
Why don't you go about posting the disunity problems of your own tribe for the world to see?
You better stop this nonsense and keep quiet on issues you know nothing about.
My father didn't see tribalistic as an issue before marrying my mum...I'm from a mixed tribe of you don't know.
1,i didn't quote it mention you.
2,I'm a child of God I don't engage in E-war
3,God bless you
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 7:55am On May 27, 2016
kaziblake:
My father didn't see tribalistic as an issue before marrying my mum...I'm from a mixed tribe of you don't know.
1,i didn't quote it mention you.
2,I'm a child of God I don't engage in E-war
3,God bless you
I don't care if you are from a mixed tribe but I know you are definitely not mixed with igbo.
So leave igbo cultural issues for the igbos instead of promoting disunity amongst us.
This is the problem with mixed tribe kids as you guys are neither here nor there.
Have a nice day

1 Like

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by kaziblake(f): 7:56am On May 27, 2016
TellingItAsItIs:

I don't care if you are from a mixed tribe but I know you are definitely not mixed with igbo.
So leave igbo cultural issues for the igbos instead of promoting disunity amongst us.
This is the problem with mixed tribe kids as you guys are neither here nor there.
Have a nice day
I think you are silly

1 Like

Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 7:59am On May 27, 2016
kaziblake:
I think you are silly
I have nothing else to say to you "child of God that dsnt insult pple online".
My word stands.
Bye.

1 Like

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