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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? (36500 Views)
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Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by johnsonjosbles(m): 10:57am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices:op, run 4ur life, I'm yoruba man married to hausa lady, I never experience any problem but you see igbo brothers are too tribalisic about everything, they will do everything to frustrate ur life if u insist. Trust me. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Beremx(f): 10:57am On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu:you should just remain in politics section. you're not good in giving marital advice. 19 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by johnsonjosbles(m): 10:58am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices:op, run 4ur life, I'm yoruba man married to hausa lady, I never experience any problem but you see igbo brothers are too tribalisic about everything, they will do everything to frustrate ur life if u insist. Trust me |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by johnsonjosbles(m): 10:58am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices:op, run 4ur life, I'm yoruba man married to hausa lady, I never experience any problem but you see igbo brothers are too tribalisic about everything, they will do everything to frustrate ur life if u insist. Trust me. |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by banmee(m): 10:58am On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu: Which cave did you migrate from? 15 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by freeborn76(m): 11:01am On May 26, 2016 |
I know I will be dubbed tribalist, but I will say it anyway; Igbos are the major tribes instigating tribalism in Nigeria, period! In all my adult years, nearly all the cases of ethnic contestations in marriage have involved one Igbo or the other. Either the family do not want HIM to marry a non-Igbo, or they detest HER bringing an outsider. Even more worrisome is the fact that it occurs amongst Igbos; an Anambra man will find it difficult to convince his family to accept an Nsukka or Ebonyi bride, how much more Hausa or ndi ofe mmanu. I don talk my yown. Girl, pray and seek God's face...or... 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by OkoNDOoBo: 11:03am On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu:Tribalist get off this thread 7 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by evelynakin: 11:04am On May 26, 2016 |
MY OWN ADVICE IS FOR YOU TO MOVE ON. BECAUSE ITS NOT ABOUT D NOW BUT THE FUTURE. I BET IT U CANT STAND THE CRUCIFITION THAT FOLLOWS. BUT U OUGHT TO KNOW THIS BEFORE NOW. 5 SOLID YEARS IS NO JOKE 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Odunharry(m): 11:05am On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu:Lol.. not everyone knows that... once they are in love, they fail to reason logically. I trust my parents n siblings and I know they won't object me marrying a lady My heart long for as long as im happy and once they know I am really serious and make my findings right.. The issue is don't go back to them to complain. If the family of my wife to be object our coming together to form a union after effort to make them see reason, who am I to force myself on their daughter?? It's best the op move on with her life.. The problem with many people is starting all over again, thinking no one else will love them Or even accept them. 9 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by feaworaoja007: 11:06am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices:hmmm...his fears and concern are genuine...the parents fear,might also be that in future "if" you start feeling lonely,and maybe "god4bid" he's not around,you"ll normally take the kids and start gravitating towards your own family side i.e yoruba and the kids won't now know their rightful place in their root which is their fatherland thereby leaving their kinsmen and leaving their roots void while other kinsmen that got married to their tribe will take over and your kids won't even care of know the implication of losing ther heritage and roots...it's a tough one,but in the long run,i'd advice it's safer you guys see if you can live with alternatives,know the kind of background you come from and see if you can deal with what's @ stake against all odds...if not,i suggest you let it go,cos in the long run,if it goes wrong,the mockery and taunting alone will leave you guys regreting 4life! all d best! 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by colli247(m): 11:06am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices:His parent approved the marriage cos they are well learned and aren't tribalistic likewise her parent too...Tribalism is mostly common among the illiterates. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by alexmaye(m): 11:06am On May 26, 2016 |
for me if ur fiance is ready 2 marry u den u guys should follow ur heart nd put his family in prayer.after all no be im parents go marry u ABI!!!. |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by evelynakin: 11:07am On May 26, 2016 |
johnsonjosbles: |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by SailorXY: 11:09am On May 26, 2016 |
IkpuMmadu:Oga cool down & speak maturely abeg 7 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by CSTR6: 11:11am On May 26, 2016 |
Wouldn't it be nice if everybody married from his /her own ethnic group? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Gbanj11: 11:12am On May 26, 2016 |
Tough dear, but such is life. I'm sure everyone has a piece of wisdom to offer, but just remember this. If you need "US" the online community to help you make a decision..then it's not a choice you are ready for. 2 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by stancod(m): 11:12am On May 26, 2016 |
We ibo people still dey far from inter-marriage. That's why there is unity between them.hmmm yi'ibo! |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by skywalker001(m): 11:12am On May 26, 2016 |
[quote author=Nyceguy92 post=45973099][/quote] Yea datz true... Love only is not enough when it comes to marriage |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by hausameat: 11:13am On May 26, 2016 |
Rubbish thread. We should tow the line of Buhari. Right now Buhari has succeeded in deviding the country. Voting, appointment etc are based on tribe and religion. Going by that, face your tribes ladies or men. There is no way you cannot find your choice of lady or man of your tribe. If you disagree, then a day is very close when you as a south south man, a man from the east will regret marrying a Fulani or a northern woman or man vice viser. Buhari will finaly shut this country. He almost did in his military days. . 3 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by mizlovette(f): 11:14am On May 26, 2016 |
richyblink1: |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Originalsly: 11:14am On May 26, 2016 |
I think the guy is key in this situation. He must be the one to decide if he is going to stick with you or let his family make that decision.....after all.... a husband should leave his family and cling to his wife. Take this as a sign of what kind of husband he would be...... if when married he would be consulting with you... or his family to make decisions in your home. If he can't stand up now...don't ever expect him to be in your corner when his family members attack you...and they will. Move on if he can't make a firm decision. Hmmmm..... I wonder if his family would have the same problem if you were an American citizen. 3 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by onlyHim(f): 11:15am On May 26, 2016 |
Follow your heart, I myself, an ibo girl married a yoruba guy though it wasn't easy. This year we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary and we are still going strong. 6 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Coldfeets: 11:17am On May 26, 2016 |
Frankly speaking, you might want to consider leaving the relationship. Staying in a marriage where you are not truly and wholly accepted is bound to be a very hectic task. Think of the criticism, the caricature, the blames, the shaming, the rejection and all that, that will certainly be targeted towards you. Although I don't actually believe this but the fact that these parents are ready to still allow their 30 years old daughter to remain unmarried just because of ethnic difference should tell you a lot. You may decide to damn the consequences and carry on with the relationship But... Remember, you'll always have to deal with that issue of HAD I KNOWN. Sorry. 4 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by IRserveMyComent(f): 11:17am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices:My dear i can really see your fears now. If he could tell you that it means he is also very confused and helpless. But it doesnt mean he does not love you. Sit him down and ask him to make his decisions. He should sit his parents down and convince them as a man. He should fight for his love as a man. The earlier the better so he doesnt go ahead to waste your time. 1 Like |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by CSTR6: 11:18am On May 26, 2016 |
johnsonjosbles:Then stay away from igbo women. The parents don't want you for reasons best known to them, then it is incumbent upon you to respect yourself. Not everybody in Nigeria wants to be Nigerian. It is not tribalism if they don't see themselves as Nigerians in the first place. 5 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by tbliss22(m): 11:19am On May 26, 2016 |
As a yoruba guy, my take is can u handle the heat? If YES then I wish you the best. But I will suggest you back out to avoid story that touch, what if this guy backs out later and goes for another lady from his tribe. I use to chike one Igbo girl but she told me clearly that she likes me too but her people will never accept a yoruba guy as her man. Some will say "fight for love"but seriously its crazy when there are millions of single sweet looking girls everywhere. 7 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by femi4: 11:19am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices:In Simi's voice: Shey na u foolish Shey Yoruba don finish Wetin you dey do with Okoro 8 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Odunharry(m): 11:19am On May 26, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Honest post so far.. |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by adorablelove: 11:19am On May 26, 2016 |
My find ur way!!!!!!!!! De earlier the better!!!!!!!!!!!!.......why didn't dis guy mention it to his family all dis past yearss!!!!!!!!!!!!!...... Now dey are saying cock and bull story!!!!!!!!!! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by TBankxx(m): 11:19am On May 26, 2016 |
Check ur self before u wreck ur self. Tribalism is Nigeria's biggest problem especially now the IPOB group aint smiling. If u're ready to change it fine but if not save urself this heartbreak 'coz his family wil torment u black & blue |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by streetzdreamz(m): 11:19am On May 26, 2016 |
Legalspices,the best piece of advice came from jaygrl i mean she has said it all,when your man hits a nerve or goes astray,who do you call upon to correct him??his parents who wasn't in support of your union?love really aint enough and your man seems like the wavering type,he aint solidly behind you,trust me someday he will take a walk if you dont,he will bow to pressure from his family,there is no other way around it,ikpu equally had nice points,he was just too raw and factual making him sound like a tribalist,there are men out there who will value you and adore you,whose parents will take you as theirs,take a cue from jaygrl,told you she has said it all!! Ur guy aint the last igbo guy,and neither have you met all yoruba guys,forget the 5yrs relationship,marriage is for a lifetime.............. Funny thing is,you still wont take heed,cuz your mind is made up with d guy,i wish you luck. 9 Likes |
Re: Ethnicity Difference: Should I Stay Or Just Move On Already?? by Nobody: 11:20am On May 26, 2016 |
legalspices: it all depends on the guy. he has to be his own man (not discounting the fact that the family made the man) and make his own decisions. Suggest to him the idea that he should try and win over one or two influential individuals (as far as decision making is concerned) in his family. this is a delicate issue. you need the cooperation of some people on his side, as I don't believe everyone in his family will be totally against it |
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