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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now (59264 Views)
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Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by queenfav(f): 9:33pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Juzzybabe:I empathize with you.By the way,i am a lawyer, pm me whenever you are ready to file for dissolution of the marriage. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 9:34pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
mizthorlu:Stop advising her for divorce.can you marry a single mother if you are a man |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by oodua1stson: 9:35pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Juzzybabe:someone beat you while you're pregnant and you still call him husband. Dint get me angry this night. Ill tell yuo what to do, you can divorce him in absentia(YES) 2) Cut off every contact you have with him(stop picking his calls and if possible throw your sim cards away and get new sim) 3) make sure your family no longer pick his calls. Whenever he calls they should pick it, and not say anything(waste the bastard credit) 4) make up your mind that he's dead and forever forget him 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 9:37pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
queenfav:Gerrarahere.mama lawyer...if you help her to divorce her man...will you find another one for her?you have to sign with her that both of you will marry your husband before you make any step in advising her for divorce...wts going on here is misunderstanding which can easily be settled if both of them have their own privacy. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 9:39pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
oodua1stson:Am not in support of the beating...Will you get a man to marry her if she divorce...how many men are interested in single mum...think before you advise this lady...wtf |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Kekenapep: 9:40pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
As some wise people already mentioned, this story is basically one-sided having gone through this thread and the other one. I have seen situations where when the truth is unveiled and you hear the other side you will be surprised at how opinions can drastically change. This is called objectivity. This is a life skill and what I have seen is that both parties are USUALLY at fault ESPECIALLY on marital issues. You cannot exonerate one side completely. When both parties are ready to eat thier pride then progress can be made. But then only a house built on the rock can stand Mat 7. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by quivah(f): 9:42pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
MRBrownJ:You made absolutely no single sense! None at all. I thought you were that intelligent man, maybe its seasonal tho. 14 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by owagbeba: 9:42pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Dreal11247: Just curious, what forces fight marriage? You mean emotional forces or some spiritual thingy? |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by oodua1stson: 9:44pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Taryur3:so you would rather have her stay with a man who beat her while she was pregnant? You deserve a slap, a hot one 20 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 9:55pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Hmmmm! I don set! Na wetin I dey talk about. If I tell una make una consider forgetting marriage people go dey abuse me. You see am! Why can't people just forget about marriage sef? eeeeeeh! If you no marry you go die? mtchewwwww! |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by scachy(m): 10:00pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Some advise I see here though. Some people are nothing but home wreckers. Throw ur small problem here and they ll help u break ur home into pieces with their comments. Smh. The illusion people suffer nowadays is that they thought marriage is as sweet n smooth as it sounds. Every marriage goes through one storm or another, but with time things will get better. Ur case is not d worst. Just pray n endure until he comes back again n see if u guys can sort things out. Kill that divorce thought for now. Secondly, if u don't lik d way things r going in ur family, change d way u communicate with ur partner. it helps a lot. I feel ur pain though but nothing is impossible for God to do. Pray that God ll rekindle the love that brought the two of u together so that ur marriage can be sustained. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by hamzom112(m): 10:07pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Dreal11247: biko pray for what exactly? 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 10:08pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
[quote author=oodua1stson post=46578977]so you would rather have her stay with a man who beat her while she was pregnant? You deserve a slap, a hot one [/quote Rush here and give the slap...you always start what you can't finish.Tell me a marriage that is perfectly ok.every toiling has an expiry date...this is her own trials...time.simple misunderstanding is the issue the lady has...besides she never say anything that prompt to the beating...am not in support of that though...advising her for divorce is the worst...do you know what it takes to be a single mum?did you know the numbers of ladies that is yet to get a man not to talk of the one that already divorce with a child...let her face the challenges...she will come over this somedays so far the husband doesn't cheat or trying to marry another woman.wtf with you guys giving stupid advise...becareful 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Quintee(f): 10:15pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
author=oodua1stson post=46578427]wait ooo.....are you a Ghanaian? Cos you said you left your family in Ghana and got married here And there's no sense in staying with that fool you call husband. I'm married too and my wife has friends in similar cases as yours living with hubby's mom and being turned into their house help. Imagine someone who works in a bank(you know the mental stress im banks) and she will come home in the evening and those old fools will be asking her to make like 4 different kind of food for each person. Person wey she suppose poison Like I said, marriages like yours where you have to live with an old inconsiderate woman usually ends in tears Leave now [/quote] The part of being turned into house help is something that is common in most Nigerian marriages. In fact, wedding in this part of the world is more or less an induction into slavery. Imagine a wife made to serve younger in-laws (that are even younger than her little siblings) and even call them aunty and uncle simply because they did her a favour by allowing their son get married to her. Stuffs like this make me wonder why women are pressured to get married and atimes, even squander money on wedding. Though, I know there are still enviable marriages. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 10:16pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Bolade005:You getting her a lawyer to advise her for divorce right?make sure that your lawyer secure her a perfect man too .besides...tell me any marriage that is perfect... 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by histemple: 10:17pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Juzzybabe: Were you expecting your mum to tell you that the child is yours alone? For God's sake, you ran away with that child from the guy's parents. The only legal resort you have now is to sue him for desertion, but can you prove that he actually deserted you and the child?------that is, did he run away from his known address? I hope you will tell the child that you refused to stay with your in-laws and absconded to your preferred destination only to claim that he is irresponsible? 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 10:20pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Quintee:What are you saying? It depends on the culture you get married too...some yoruba people treat their daughter inlaw like a slave but I think such doesn't happen in this century again...thank God u never advise her to divorce... |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by IRserveMyComent(f): 10:21pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Juzzybabe:Now this is the point i dont like... Laying his hands on you. You mean you dated him for 9years and never saw the signs |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by samuelson06(m): 10:22pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
@Juzzybabe Please don't go divorce. Probably, you guys started on a wrong foot. But at least you both were legally married. As humans, we all have different life journies. Don't feel your mates are having a wonderful life and family out there and you are here 'suffering.' No! What has happened has happened. I'll encourage you to see the whole thing as a challenge. Face it and win it - get your husband back. This is a trick of the devil to shatter your life. Don't give up. I tell you, there's no better life out there. You may not know the challenge your husband is facing over there. Why not make him your prayer point everyday? Why not wake at midnight to pray for him? See, prayer works. Pray for his life, pray for his return and also pray for what he'll be doing when he returns to re-unite with you. It's that simple! You have a stake in his life and your prayers would affect him directly. Pray and believe God that He is working out an answer for you. Like you always wanted, raise the child the Lord's way. Tell her good things about dad. Tell her dad would return soon to be with her. Don't make her feel dad doesn't care or hates you both even though situation may appear to be so but you don't know God's mind about the issue. If you have any grudge against him, put it away. Call him and tell him his family misses him. One important key here is that your prayers and other things you talk to him on phone must be from your heart. And your heart must be free of hate or grudges about anyone. Forgive and make peace with all. You wouldn't tell me that deep inside you, apart from all that has happened over time, you've got not a little love for him again; you wouldn't tell me that you won't like to see your family a one strong united family. Don't let anybody convince you to seek for divorce. You've got no guarantee that life outside there is going to be without challenges, and if you feel it wouldn't be a challenge of this nature, I'll tell you that a challenge is a challenge. Your approach to the situation would determine your future. I know you have a choice to respond to it the way you want, but I'll advice you to respond to it God's way. There's always a reward for those who endure. Be prayerful. You can change things for good. Learn to make God happy in your situations. I can still talk to you more if you send me a PM. There are other things I can't say here. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by previous4luv: 10:25pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
@ juicy babe, pls I have something to share with you, send me PM |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by achicares(m): 10:28pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
MRBrownJ: Out of point. 4 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by mikolo80: 10:36pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Dreal11247:which mumu Forces. When she was foraging herself on Dubai guy she didn't know that all that glitters is not gold. Well she should try and catch him in adultery then go her way since he is not beating her or the child. I don't know her konji level. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by CioAngels(f): 10:39pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
My lady, you don't know if he has a good job in Dubai and also you don't know if he is in trouble or not. What of the man's family, did you report to them? Your daughter is solely your responsibility now to train until her father comes to see her, he will surely come if he is alife. As for moving on, for me, you should move with your life. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Notyourb1tch(f): 10:41pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
I read your other thread and it literally broke my heart. You have been through so much and I am so glad you were able to get yourself and baby out of that toxic environment. This is a clear lesson for women as we should always learn from our relationship. Marrying the wrong guy and into the wrong family can cause a lot of stress. Its good that you are thinking about the future wrt your child. Get a good lawyer, get custody and I believe that a divorce is possible. You deserve to be happy and free of those toxic people. I believe that you can find true love again. My grandma experienced something similar with her first husband but she met my grandpa so it is still possible. Irrespective I would rather be alone and at peace and concentrate on my baby, family and job than have to deal with that silly excuse of a man and his wicked family. I applaud you two years is no beans. At least you have done your part. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:51pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
WiseBully: U spoke well 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Notyourb1tch(f): 10:54pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Taryur3: s.hut up will ya. You are the type of guy that will convince a woman in an abusive relationship to stay and then when she is killed me the first to condemn. Life does not revolve around you. If she wants a divorce it ain't your business and has nothing to do with you unless you are her path ethic excuse of a man husband hiding behind this username? 6 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by cococandy(f): 10:56pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
100 dasparrow: 2 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Lexusgs430: 10:58pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Juzzybabe: Regardless of what you do, a child can decide to look for an absent day in the future one's the child is of age. If you feel divorce is best for your sanity and togetherness, divorce it is. Been in a marriage for the sake of the child or children alone, does not make for a healthy union. Best to visit the office of the public defender or relevant authorities, and have an agreed financial level of support which is legally binding. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 11:00pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
mimzy:Just advise her well. Wts is happening here is misunderstanding between both of them.I hope u are not going to talk of dovorce |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 11:05pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Bolade005:Bolade...busy body...your approco...too.much.I hope u are paying the consultation fee...for her...if she finally divorce...just make sure your lawyer get her a perfect man.thanks for your concern |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by blackprowler: 11:09pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
Reading this tale is just as if I'm reading the account of a Westerner in one of the foreign forums I follow, complete with familiar terminologies and assumptions. Africa has perfected the photocopying of all the ills and malaise of the Western world but not the positive attitudes and values of the same West. Talk about Selection Bias! |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 11:11pm On Jun 14, 2016 |
The worst tin dat wil happen to a man/woman is to option seek 4 divorce to dat person he dance, laugh, smile, kiss and do all sort of romantic tin on dia wedin day and lata see dat person worst dan d Devil. I reject dat. Well so sorry abt ur story, still give him time. |
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