Somebody is dieing and some of you are being religious. This African mentality tire me ooo
Even the Oyinbo wey introduce us to the religion use their brain.


Madam plz get out of the marriage. And for your fear of him claiming your daughter.


All you need to do is train up your child with so much LOVE. Do not speak ill about her father to her,but always let her know you are HER FATHER AND MOTHER.


Right from now,be her best friend,I mean always talk to her.I mean both jokes and serious discussion. Guess she is old enough to give response. Talk about aw ur day went and ask her everything about her.

You owe her pecks on her 2cheeks every night 1 as her father and the other as her mother.
Always hug her,in short do all u can.

Some pple will say what has kiss and hugs gat to do with dis,but I tell you,you are working on her psychologically.

I knw of a case like this,so am speaking from experience.

Remember, u need to get out of the marriage and do not speak hate about him to the girl.


Nothing and No one will take you child away from you.God bless you

Just2okworld

MsGlobalwonder:
. E o feel fine sir.

Your problem is bigger than my quote.I dnt feel like talking to you as av just check tru your quotes to others..pls dnt quote me again...thanks for your understanding...

are you freaking serious? she was beaten to a bloody coma while eight-months pregnant and your only question is to ask her about her contribution to the situation?

Do you think that it is ever justifiable to hit a woman if she does something that the husband doesn't like

ottersberger:


Madam, i abhore irresponsibility in a man, definitely and totally frown on physical violence towards a female under any circumstance. but, I gotta ask you this, whats your contribution to this ugly situation?, are you also culpable in any way?.

Taryur3:

Your problem is bigger than my quote.I dnt feel like talking to you as av just check tru your quotes to others..pls dnt quote me again...thanks for your understanding...

who hurt you?

For those of u advising her not to divorce because of religion or recommending books and movie and those shouting who will marry her,I pray ur siblings experience this too o,so that you can refer them to this thread to follow your advise

Hypocrites everywhere

So you want her to keep consulting "God" (aka, a mythical man in the sky) while getting beaten to a pulp by the nearnderthal husband? Be practical na.

tosinjay:

Awesome response there. I read so many things about marriage and i become mute because if i talk they come and start saying am being sanctimonious. Marriage is an institution ordained by God, God must be consulted, involved in any. Too many wrong foundations causing havic today and divorce is not the way out.

Op please pray oo, no comot from frying pan to fire!! May God see you through.

Like Nathaniel Bassey said, when one marries wrongly, the word the bible have for such an one is that. "My grace is sufficient for you".

MRBrownJ:
so many clueless women will be so desperate to punish a man that they wouldnt even understand that the worst person affected here is the poor kid in the middle. they selfishly use children as the bait for unwilling men (for whatever reason) to stay with them, or have any contact with their kids under their BS rules. keep fooling yourself!

What's your point?

aBOSEDEJOY1:
i can see how wrong you are,so until her man cheat or marry another woman that she can be pained and act,gracious Lord,you are so deadly and evil inciting,its even better if a man marries another than for a wife to be experiencing this kind of evil in her home,it will pay her if she leaves and marry another person,shes not other ladies that are still spinsters,shes her own destiny,everyone destiny is different,so dnt e ven compare her with them,it may be different in her own case, av seen ladies,my friends that divorced and remarried living happily ever after.

Hey madam...did I quote you here...?why are you typing my name all over this thread? Why the insults? Did u know me before? Or are you insane? I just wrote my own opinion without insulting anyone and you continue running up like a mad goat.why don't you just write your own without insulting someone...?I dnt know if you are married...and if you do may you divorce soon in Jesus name as you wish the OP to divorce.why are you trying to scatter a marriage that was blessed at early stage...? Which marriage is perfect? If she divorce the stubborn man now...are you ready to engage her with a perfect man? No wonder most of you ladies always be a victim of circumstances...you only think in one direction. Why don't you help her to pray for her marriage....olodo oshi...Even her mum never advise her to divorce...you are here ranting she should seek for divorce...the OP should just becareful of the kind of advise she follow...your type cnt counsel pre nursery kid not to talk of marriage....Abosede...dnt let me have your time here...and never you quote or type my name all over again.thanks for understanding

Juzzybabe:
Hi family,am here again. Some of us here have been following my story and for those who haven't,this link will give you an idea of whats at stake. https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave
I think divorce is just what i need right now but before then, my husband obviously married me with no intention of settling down and having a family. THIS IS A DAMAGE DONE TO MY LIFE how can i make him pay for this?
Secondly, he has up to this moment shown no sign of remorse over he and his parents acts towards me. As for our child,he doesn't support her in anyway.But i really hate the fact where people would say you cannot deny a child his or her father. In my case where the father doesn't care what can i do? Am sure that stingy man is relaxing and waiting after i have done the work on her,den he will come to claim child. He lives and works in Dubai and am here in GH. It is either he signs to support this kid or forget he ever had a child with me (People says that's impossible). How does the law favor me in this ?
All in all, our marriage is not even working out and i see no sign of seriousness in him. I need to move on,I think waiting on him to make amends is not just fruitful. The guy doesn't care! I need divorce to move on. Please people,I am here again,i will appreciate some good advises.

I blame both of you for this mess!

Your husband is a total jerk. He's the worst kind of man to marry. He's a liar and I'm sure he lives with a woman in Dubai. He lied and brain-washed you into marraige.

You blindly fell for it. Why did you marry him without making sure there was a place for you to call your home? The first red flag was when he changed his mind about having a baby and called it a joke. The second red flag was when he told you about the baby six months thing. And many other red flags but you ignored them.

I'm glad you've now made the right decision to divorce. The marrage is a sham. The man is a heartless monster. Even if he had a problem with you, why would he ignore his own daughter?

Get a good lawyer as soon as possible and give him or her the full details of the whole thing. The lawyer will advise you on what to do about your divorce and having full custody of your daughter.

I will feel bad for the baby you two involved in this mess!

/
During marriage rites and wedding, you enjoyed alone.

Now that trouble starts, you will not suffer alone.

Take a decision. I don't know what you expect strangers to do for you. Tell you to stay? Tell you to leave?

Apparently, you don't even know what you want and that's how you ended up in this predicament

\

[quote author=Taryur3 post=46579573][/quote] according toyyu it's simple misunderstanding to beat your wife?



I'm super pleased you're not my family or friend

SemuhleB:
if only there were more men like u

My sister, it is time ladies wake up to understand/discover that their destiny are in their hands. They should not hang in in any abusive relationship because it is hard to live with the nightmare once you experience it in a hard way.

They should take a walk out of any abusive relationship if they cannot work it out.Love is to be cherished and not to be mourned.

Damn! Some men are just beast. As much I as I am hard, tough and a no nonsense man, I will never treat my wife bad. she will get the best. My girl friend can testify to this.

fellis:
Stup!d sh!t like this is what puts me off marriage. Men have absolutely no respect or regard for women. How do you spend the rest of your life with someone who thinks you are an inferior human being?

What kind of lifelong torture is that?

Sorry for the unfortunate turn of events OP, I wish you happiness.

How true is the bolded?Why do some of you turn yourselves to men-haters?
Your past experiences are still not good enough reasons.

Juzzybabe:


Yes i got married in Nigeria. And i seriously needs a lawyer.

pls you can file for sole custody of the child as you have evidence to back up his neglect. If you do that he has no right to claim the child.

Taryur3:

Am not in support of the beating...Will you get a man to marry her if she divorce...how many men are interested in single mum...think before you advise this lady...wtf

just shut it pls. I have seen all your post against divorce on this thread. Yes, she can get a good man even as a single mum, I suppose that is news to you but I have countless examples of friends (single mums) who are now happily married. did you even read her previous post The man only married her cos he wanted a child, he doesnt even care about her, told her to leave the child and go, his family doesn't respect her, he even beat her while she was pregnant and you are telling her to stay in that marriage. If your sister was going through the same thing would you tell her to stay?? This is a simple matter of common sense, there is nothing complicated about it? if she goes back to the marriage and the man kills her(which is highly likely as he has no regards for her) your likes will still vomit rubbish about why she still stayed in that marriage and even if she doesn't get married afterwards at least she has peace and is not being disrespected or pounded all in the name of marriage.
Infact, don't get me more angry than I am now

Kimoni:
@ juzzybabe:
- you asked for permission to get married
- you asked for permission to take in
- you asked for permission to abort
- you asked for permission (and funds) to rent a place
- now you are asking for permission to move on

I think you also have a lot of work to do on yourself. Your whole existence seems to be revolved round this man and the marriage.
Do you have plans for yourself or goals you've set out to achieve personally? Short term and long term? I didn't get any sense of that from your write-ups. Looks like it's all about your husband, his wishes and his provision.

Are you working currently? Are you able to support yourself and your child comfortably and independently? This should be your focus for now. Divorce and subsequent relationships will follow in due course if that's what you really want at the end of the day.

But right now, forget him, forget what's going to happen in the future, forget if he will come back or not. There are enough problems for today, no need to carry tomorrow's burden today. Life is short, take it one day at a time. You hold the key to your happiness, don't give it to anyone.

he was her first and they dated for 9 years so it's understandable that she feels that way about him. It's usually like that with firsts but she just has to move on, she has a job and she seems like a good person.

Taryur3:

@Pearls....I can see that you are a responsible and we'll nurtured girl...Truly youve wrote something serious but still not the best.I went tru both the old and her new story and I am not blind to comprehend wts going on here.I am born and brought up in catholic family too...I have a uncle that is a rev...father...I would have even be a priest today...had it been my mum supported me...but thank God for whom I am today. I guess this lady married to a yoruba guy...and if this is tru. ..try and comprehend what yoruba marriage looks like.it has not been easy I can tell you especially when the husband family is against you.the issue here is...come and work in dubai while you live our baby with my parent after six month.I know it's not easy especially the love between a new mother and a baby...but every struggling have an expiry date now...which marriage is perfect?I have seen alot of similar things like this especially with guys abroad. What this people need is just to see each other in the absent of their parents and settle out things...there are some people advising her for divorce...I shake my head...I think they said d devil you know is better than the one you are not familiar with...I cnt pour out much here buh I wish to get the contact of this lady and talk to her. I never support that naughty man beating her wife in such critical condition but you guys never hear from the other side and you judge so sharp.I stand with my own...divorce is not the best...we are all human...the stubborn man can come to his sense if some certain ppu talk to him.God bless

Thanks for the compliment, awww, it wasn't destined for you to be a Rev. Fr. ahn ahn una won kill mummy ni. Contrary to your statement, the man in question is an Edo man but let's not involve the tribe here cos I don't like when people involve tribe in issues like this, a few people's stupid act can account for the whole tribe, I think you know that? She is human oooooo and she is the one wearing the shoe and she knows what she went through with her MIL and she has a good point for not agreeing to leave her 6 months old baby with her and if you follow the thread well, it got to a point that the husband said he isn't even ready to take her to Dubai because of an issue that came up during that time but all in all I get your point sha but I think she needs to move on, the husband in question seems to have moved on, and should she stick to a man who doesn't want her? and we ladies sometimes don't take rejection well, you know that. It's a psychological and emotional trauma for her, going through her comments so far, you will see that she is still in love with him and I don't blame her, a man she dated for 9 solid years, 9 years no be beans oooooo and is married to for 2 years but wetin man pikin go do, she needs to breathe, she needs sanity. And the MIL isn't helping matters too and she is a Christian mother ooooo. This relationship is toxic she needs to run as fast as possible.

My Advice.
If you plan on Not Getting Married again in Life, go ahead with the Divorce.
But if you plan on getting married again, Don't even think about it. Though your story is pathetic, you swore for better or worse. God is not ya mate my friend. Love endures all things, so should you. he has not crucified you yet, has he? Forgive n grace will be available to take you through. Trust God.



#IcePk

My Advice.
If you plan on Not Getting Married again in Life, go ahead with the Divorce.
But if you plan on getting married again, Don't even think about it. Though your story is pathetic, you swore for better or worse. God is not ya mate my friend. Love endures all things, so should you. She has not crucified you yet, has he? Forgive n grace will be available to take you through. Trust God.



#IcePk

MsGlobalwonder:
war room koor, battle field ni!! Mtshewww. Nigerians!! Smh!!

Lolz, I have seen the movie, it's a nice movie but some of them are forgetting that war room was a movie script written by a human being directed by a human being and it was acted, the movie turned out the way the writer and the director wants it to be. And people shouldn't get me wrong ooooo, God works wonders and a lot of broken home have been restored by prayers but some of these issues doesn't involve domestic violence and this same God have given us brains to use so we can think ourselves but some of us sometimes want God to the thinking for us thereby testing God.

It seems u marry cos u wre desparate lik most girls of nowadays....
Divorce its never a solution for marriage problem xpecially wen a child its involve dear....

Juzzybabe:
Hi family,am here again. Some of us here have been following my story and for those who haven't,this link will give you an idea of whats at stake. https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave
I think divorce is just what i need right now but before then, my husband obviously married me with no intention of settling down and having a family. THIS IS A DAMAGE DONE TO MY LIFE how can i make him pay for this?
Secondly, he has up to this moment shown no sign of remorse over he and his parents acts towards me. As for our child,he doesn't support her in anyway.But i really hate the fact where people would say you cannot deny a child his or her father. In my case where the father doesn't care what can i do? Am sure that stingy man is relaxing and waiting after i have done the work on her,den he will come to claim child. He lives and works in Dubai and am here in GH. It is either he signs to support this kid or forget he ever had a child with me (People says that's impossible). How does the law favor me in this ?
All in all, our marriage is not even working out and i see no sign of seriousness in him. I need to move on,I think waiting on him to make amends is not just fruitful. The guy doesn't care! I need divorce to move on. Please people,I am here again,i will appreciate some good advises.

Marriage is for better for worse so stop ranting n go n work ur marriage. Jst two yrs n divorce is already on d table. Try to work things out for 10yrs b4 complaining or were u blind when u got into it. Pray, pray n pray

MsGlobalwonder:
war room koor, battle field ni!! Mtshewww. Nigerians!! Smh!!

What's your own na?

You just open eye marry man whey dey live and work for outside your country.

Well enjoy sha... Lady's who lives in the same house with their man have issues not to talk of continents apart. I know the real deal, you brought that little angel into this mess of yours thereby making experience the heat of single parenting.

You want to go out? Fine, look for another man again, enjoy life. When her dad shows you his plans later don't cry.

Prettiepearlz:

Thanks for the compliment, awww, it wasn't destined for you to be a Rev. Fr. ahn ahn una won kill mummy ni. Contrary to your statement, the man in question is an Edo man but let's not involve the tribe here cos I don't like when people involve tribe in issues like this, a few people's stupid act can account for the whole tribe, I think you know that? She is human oooooo and she is the one wearing the shoe and she knows what she went through with her MIL and she has a good point for not agreeing to leave her 6 months old baby with her and if you follow the thread well, it got to a point that the husband said he isn't even ready to take her to Dubai because of an issue that came up during that time but all in all I get your point sha but I think she needs to move on, the husband in question seems to have moved on, and should she stick to a man who doesn't want her? and we ladies sometimes don't take rejection well, you know that. It's a psychological and emotional trauma for her, going through her comments so far, you will see that she is still in love with him and I don't blame her, a man she dated for 9 solid years, 9 years no be beans oooooo and is married to for 2 years but wetin man pikin go do, she needs to breathe, she needs sanity. And the MIL isn't helping matters too and she is a Christian mother ooooo. This relationship is toxic she needs to run as fast as possible.

Pearls...it's well o...I only read about the thread she posted somtimes December and this new one though.couldn't see where they dated for 9yrs...the coutship period doesn't matter though...av seen 4months courtship that leads to a successful marriage.it all depends on individual.am not that stupid to support that naughty man for failing to perform his duty.but I think he change his mind of taking the lady to dubai simply because she is already pregnant...and in which he restated that she will come over after she put to bed...I pity the situation the lady us passing through in the hands of her husband family but you might be shocked if the guy explained his own side too...majority advise e her to divorce...fine..if she can handle that.but I will advise her to seek her own mother's advise because most of this noisemakers here have nothing to offer..they only think in one direction.divorce...divorce...divorce...I have an elder cousin that experience the worst any girl can pass tru in the hands of mother inlaw...very similar to this ladies own.she passed tru this stress for 3years...many advise her to divorce even her elder siblings rejected her but she was so wise to seek her pastors advise in which she surrendered to all the wishes of her husband and after that things started falling in places...to cut the story short...they both live with peace now in chicago...thesame husband that couldn't send her $100 then took her to the dealer and bought her 2012 Nissan altima with cash not with credit card in the year 2012.they are bless now with 3kids...Dear,this woman has forgotten the stress in the early marriage.those friends and even her elder sisters that advise her to divorce cnt swallow their words again...because she narrated some advise she got from friends to her husband...I have visited them several times from another state and even spent many weekends with the family.she is living large and very comfortable in her matrimonial home now.ok...had it been she divorce then she might not have this opportunity again in her entire life.the baby that caused the issue then is a big baby girl now...Not all advise that seems to be fine are the best.every marriages has dere own challenges...it only takes d grace of God to be a conqueror...I pray the OP find happiness in whichever advise she choose.And you prettypearls...May God almighty find and give you your the bone of your bone if you still single...Marriage is a skul where you dnt graduate...you keep learning everyday.thanks...it's well.dnt mind my english...I have no time to crossecheck.thanks

@juzzybabe I really wish you the best in your decision, you know where the shoe pinch and you are in the best position to make a decision. Don't let people's advise on this forum affects whatever decision you intend to make.....A broken marriage is better than a dead wife and motherless daughter

uzolexis:


just shut it pls. I have seen all your post against divorce on this thread. Yes, she can get a good man even as a single mum, I suppose that is news to you but I have countless examples of friends (single mums) who are now happily married. did you even read her previous post The man only married her cos he wanted a child, he doesnt even care about her, told her to leave the child and go, his family doesn't respect her, he even beat her while she was pregnant and you are telling her to stay in that marriage. If your sister was going through the same thing would you tell her to stay?? This is a simple matter of common sense, there is nothing complicated about it? if she goes back to the marriage and the man kills her(which is highly likely as he has no regards for her) your likes will still vomit rubbish about why she still stayed in that marriage and even if she doesn't get married afterwards at least she has peace and is not being disrespected or pounded all in the name of amrriage.
Infact, don't get me more angry than I am now

Madam...most you insult me before I get you right...pls I only respond to sensible post.if you cnt quote me without altering insults...carry your wahala and go.I know you have the best advise.pls dnt quite me again...thanks for your understanding. It's too early here to talk to your type of being.

Taryur3:

Madam...most you insult me before I get you right...pls I only respond to sensible post.if you cnt quote me without altering insults...carry your wahala and go.I know you have the best advise.pls dnt quite me again...thanks for your understanding. It's too early here to talk to your type of being.

I can't help but insult you if that would make you use your brain cos it seems your brain is on hold. How you are kicking against divorce is so insane, it is not OK, i repeat it is NEVER OK to stay in an abusive relationship. Also advising her to leave her child for her mother in-law on top a man that does not even care about her and with the way her mother in-law treats her. Telling her to keep praying, is it until God comes down himself and pulls her out of that marriage you will have sense?? God gave us a brain for a reason, her happiness is of utmost importance here. People like you should NEVER give marriage advise ever, I know marriage is not all rosy but physical abuse should not be a part of it. My Parents have been married for almost 30 yrs and my father has NEVER raised a hand on my mother and trust me they went through tough times but that did not give my Father license to hit my mum cos he was stressed. If that man kills her, God will blame her cos she was very selfish and didn't put her child into consideration cos she wants to be a Mrs

Antiparticle:
So you want her to keep consulting "God" (aka, a mythical man in the sky) while getting beaten to a pulp by the nearnderthal husband? Be practical na.

No disturb me, if you're an atheist how will you even come close to understanding what i said. All you people know these days is divorce, divorce after marrying wrongly, for the wrong reasons.

Hey Hun, I followed your story from the beginning and I am happy to know you are safe. Honestly if you were my sister I would not advice you to file for a divorce. This does not mean I am asking you to go back. You have been through alot and I think the scars are still fresh, I think you should focus on your job and child for now. If he calls you fine, pick up his calls and honour him as the father of your child, you can even communicate with him via email and give him updates on the progress of the child as a good mother should. If he is not interested in the marriage again he will file for divorce, after all he was the one that asked you to marry him not the other way around. You are out of the stressful environment which is good. My advice is that you sit down and be looking but don't disclose your whereabouts to anyone o