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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now (59287 Views)
Delta Couple Announce Their Divorce On Facebook (Photos) / I Am A Young Lady Of 27 Years,i Dated A Guy For Four Years (help) / Two Wasted Months Of Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by just2okworld(f): 4:32am On Jun 16, 2016 |
thorpido: Nice 1...PLEASE EMPOWER YOURSELF ALSO @OP,WORK HARD,PRAY HARD,LIVE HAPPY,TEACH YOUR CHILD NEVER TO HATE,BRING HIM/HER UP IN THE WAY OF THE LORD....THE REST IS HISTORY#shalom dear# 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by just2okworld(f): 4:32am On Jun 16, 2016 |
samhay:Hmmmmmmmmm olagbara jare |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 7:20am On Jun 16, 2016 |
Taryur3: No Sir!! Dont get it twisted Mrs Shonde and Mrs Arowolo suffered in the hands of Lekan Sonde and Arowolo Their kids who have lost a mother and a father are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo All Titi and Ronke's Loved ones are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo How will you feel if God forbid you were Ronke's Brother? Be honest I am almost sure that those kids are being treated as househelps in one uncle or auntys house They are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo I want to correct your mentality that a woman who is not married due to whatever reason is half a human being. Its not by force to remain married especially if your life is at risk. People who are being treated with love and respect in their own marriages dont have 2 heads I will never advise anyone to stay put in an abusive marriage just to satisfy society You asked if someone will marry juzzybabe I ask you, How much have you given to the upkeep of the Arowolo and the Shonde children and how much daddy time have you given them? 12 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by achicares(m): 8:19am On Jun 16, 2016 |
MRBrownJ: You obviously didn't understand her post, just the same way, your post is not making sense to me. maybe, your looking issue from "the man's world", that's being self-centered. You get to be realistic. Did she need to go go to Dubai, while she has a job on which can comfortably take care of herself and the child? What if she had lost her life when the man was giving all those beatings? What if there had been a miscarriage? And please, I want to your own definition of blackmail. Apparently, you're commenting on a wrong thread. It seems to me, you read something another thread, come here to comment. That's why your comments are line with this thread. 6 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 1:10pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
tearoses:Sorry madam..am not convenient with that your statement of correcting my mentality that unmarried person is a half being.did I wrote something similar to that here? Why are you trying to get me confused?did I defend those men for killing thier wives? but did you think they intentionally carried out such wicked act? PRAY to God for devil not to visit your marriage if you are hooked up..why are you asking me if av contributed to the life of those children? Did I support their father for killing their mum? How much did you think I can giv to bring back the lost souls...please stop asking me some annoying questions that doesn't concern me.I ve only made a suggestion to the OP...which she can take or reject.besides...I dnt know her from anywhere.pls dnt quote me again...thanks |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Juzzybabe(f): 2:04pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Am trying to reach the priest who celebrated our wedding mass. Other priest i consulted said he's the right person to start with. Meanwhile,they are saying i need to come over to Nigeria but i don't have that time now. Trying to see what can be done from here. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Bolade005: 2:24pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Juzzybabe:Have you contacted the lawyer? |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Juzzybabe(f): 2:35pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Bolade005: Not yet dear. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Bolade005: 3:13pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Juzzybabe:Ok |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by samuelson06(m): 7:14pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Antiparticle: It's quite sad but I never read the part involving battery. Trust me, divorce is a sad change in the life of anybody. It's a clear show of defeat from the devil. It's a shame for parties involve not just physically but spiritually also. I wouldn't advice anyone to file for divorce no matter what because I understand that life is not physical. Or how can you explain a situation between two people that were once love birds and suddenly they become enemies? Why didn't all the bad attitudes and character of the other showed up before they got married? Don't think of pretense, they may have not been any. I see what is happening to this family as an attack of the enemy: turning the heart of one against the other. But I'll still maintain that there can be a reconciliation; this family can overcome this challenge and live together in peace again. That love they enjoyed in the beginning is still there, just somewhere and they can activate it again. The problem is that nobody is ready to fight for that peace. I'm someone that always believe that in every challenge, there can always be a way to make peace. I don't believe in running away from challenges. I dig deep and find out how to make things work. Marriage is about managing the other. There's no perfect marriage. Finally, in this situation, someone needs deliverance and until that is done, peace may never be in sight. The problem definitely, is not running away because you never know if the real problem is you. Divorce can be the beginning of your destruction. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by MRBrownJ: 8:11pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
achicares: sadly, you are mistaking, i am solely giving my opinion about whats best for the CHILD. if you think that its ok for a mother to possibly stop her child to have contact with her father, because f some selfish issue, then i am sorry to say that YOU are the one not thinking straight Did she need to go go to Dubai, while she has a job on which can comfortably take care of herself and the child? going to Dubai is the plan they've had since 2014, thats the plan her hubby had for their family, thats the plan this lady had until she realised she had to go and hustle 1st before bringing their child there. if she was indeed well off (as she claims) then there wouldnt be all these money issues in her story. What if she had lost her life when the man was giving all those beatings? the important part is that she didnt lose her life, and she EQUALLY didnt act right after the beating. so dont bring to the picture "today" what SHE clearly was ok with (when it happened). What if there had been a miscarriage? then they would have got back on their feet and gone to Dubai to hustle as planned And please, I want to your own definition of blackmail. very simple: a woman using her child to demand for whatever BS, possibly stopping daddy from having any contact with his kid (if he ever desires) because he didnt sign her "support petition"... that is blackmail imho Apparently, you're commenting on a wrong thread. It seems to me, you read something another thread, come here to comment. That's why your comments are line with this thread. i suggest you go read her initial post on the issue, back in 2014... the link is in her 1st post, enjoy! 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Antiparticle(m): 8:35pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
I don't know why everything has to be about the devil! These are practical issues here. samuelson06: |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by MRBrownJ: 8:48pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Juzzybabe: sadly, BOTH threats you made are about him not having contact with his child... so you can write all you want here on NL, but deep down you know he does care, if not you would never mention your child in YOUR issues towards him. If i were to be your sister, am sure you will hug such a BIL and tell him he's the best guy and hustling so he should stay in wherever he is until he get rich and marry another woman. if you were my sista, i would have asked you to leave this man the 1st time he laid his hands on you. if you therefore decided to stick with this monster, then so be it and that would be your cross to carry from that day forth. He is not rich but he is ok and meeting ends for himself. If you have no idea about what marriage entails, i will tell you today that communication and understanding matters most. yet you couldnt find it in you to find a common ground for peace?! I know his income in Dubai and its equivalent in Naira or dollars. I only married a self centered man that thinks about himself alone. if you fully well know that then why are you upset that he is the way he is? Its not revenge or blackmailing. those on this forum who have interacted with me on phone knows me to some extent. Am bitter he knew he wasn't ready for marriage and he got me into it and now he feels he cant go on, but life has to go on. Am doing my best taking care of the kid alone, do u expect me to dash her to man man who has shown no care but have all the time to post on facebook the latest tattoos drawn on his body? your bitterness is what will fail you... whatever he does on FB is irrelevant here, as it could well be a FREE tattoo, isnt it? but then again, your negativity on this issue will have you fail time and time again. If i were your sis,will that be your advice? if you were my sis and THAT deep in such r/ship, then you would be OYO what moral value can a man of such impact in his kid? teach her her how to pierce her body? even if that father is the dumbest on earth and cant teach your daughter anything, you have absolutely NO RIGHTS to stop him from having contact with his daughter (if he ever desires it). let your daughter make that decision when she is an adult (and hopefully hasnt been brainwashed by you) I know he will come someday looking for his daughter,and i hate it when people thinks he has every right to his child weather he performed his duty or not,isn't that so sick to say? i suggest you sit down and re-read the nonsense you just wrote... as if father are not fathers any longer because they didnt perform their duties bwaaaaah! I left his parents because i didn't want to die there. Even tho i gets home late someday to have a chat with my daughter but the kiss on her head even when she's asleep,our Saturday trips,the fun we share is just too much to have missed in the cold hands of death. Leaving that house,even my enemies told me was the best thing i ever did. you need to see my before and after pics. you need to see me while pregnant, how depressed and sickly i was due to emotional stress. I have had enough sweetheart, am only sharing but trust me, am never going back. good for you, and thats ok, but remember, that is HIS daughter too. |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by andyanders: 10:21pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Juzzybabe: You are better alone than to stay in that abusive relationship. I am glad you left. Just relax and rebuild your life as an abusive relationship is a Time Bomb that can explode at anytime.You have a life to live and just think of your daughter and how to give her the best within your reach. Stay focused the best is yet to come and shall surely come your way. 6 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 7:48am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Taryur3: Glad I got you thinking out of the box. That was the whole point of my posts. Enjoy the rest of your day. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:01am On Jun 17, 2016 |
This is truly sad. Without reading through all the responses, I would advice you to get out of this marriage. When I first started reading through Juzzybabe's opening posts, I assumed it was just a simple case of disagreement. Lots of marriages have these, and it's usually possible to resolve differences, and move on. Then I read about the verbal, and physical abuse. A guy should be given just 1 chance, when it comes to physical abuse. Once he lays hands upon his wife, that should be it. Such a man is inherently violent, and it will happen again, and again, and again, until he either maims, or kills his wife. Sadly, we are hearing more of such cases, and deaths are occurring, whereby the wife has either opted to remain with a violent husband, or is coerced to remain by her family. Very wrong! Remaining in a loveless marriage, is one thing - it may be possible to work things out, and rekindle the feelings that brought the couple together in the first place. But remaining with a violent bully? I have read responses from some here, saying divorce is never the answer, God hates divorce, pray to God to fix things etc. Sorry, that is just a load of büllshit. I'm sure a lot of wive's who have either been maimed or killed by a violent husband, may have survived, if they'd simply left. Life is precious, we only have one, guard it with all you have within you. It's not just the physical side of things, a passive aggressive man is just as bad as a man who uses his fists on his wife. Physical scars may heal, but the emotional scarring is long lasting, sometimes permanent. Even the lucky women who make the decision to leave will have to live with the emotional trauma for a long, long time. Or, for the rest of their lives. Personally, I hope, and pray Juzzybabe makes the right choice, and saves her life, and sanity. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:14am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Memyselfu2009: Adultery will cause emotional scarring. Physical abuse may either maim, or kill. Physical abuse is valid grounds for divorce. 4 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:19am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:24am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Taryur3: I could. And there are other men who could. Single mothers are not pariahs or lepars. Or would you rather she remained in an abusive relationship, for the rest of her life? Or until this sorry excuse of a man kills her? 6 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:29am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Taryur3: A man who beats his wife...this is not merely a "misunderstanding", as you put it. This is domestic violence, which should not be condoned. There is no valid reason in God's good earth that justifies a man beating his wife, regardless of the provocation. This also applies if he comes home, and finds his wife in bed with another man. A husband who has zero self control, who would beat his wife, citing extreme provocation as an excuse is a monster. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:32am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Taryur3: Divorced women and single mothers still get married. This is not 1925. The fear of being alone is certainly no reason to remain married to a beast, suggesting that is absurd. It's not compulsory to be married either, it's better to be single and alive, as opposed to married and dead. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 10:40am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Taryur3: Very rude, and uncouth. Juzzybabe started this thread, it's a cry for help. Once she started this thread, it became everybody's business. You appear to be of the opinion, that a violent, abusive relationship or marriage is better than being single. That is not the case, certainly not in this day and age. 6 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by cococandy(f): 10:51am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Epic tearoses: |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 11:03am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Taryur3: You're not thinking straight. No one is trying to "scatter" Juzzybabe's marriage. The decline began the moment her I'm sure you can not only read, you can comprehend too. 3 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 11:13am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Alipanks: Shocking. Why do people try using religion to justify pain and evil? And misquote Biblical text in the process? |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 11:17am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Duru009: Desperate? After dating the guy for 9 years? How long is acceptable to date, before deciding to get married? Proof that you don't read. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 11:19am On Jun 17, 2016 |
ruffcoin99: If he truly married the wrong woman, he should have simply called time on his marriage, and walked. Rather than beat her. 3 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 11:21am On Jun 17, 2016 |
uzolexis: Thank you, sis. You make perfect sense. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 11:41am On Jun 17, 2016 |
Juzzybabe: I've read the other thread, as well as this one. All I can say is, wow! To have been through what you have, and still come out strong, independent and with your sanity, is a credit to you. Hopefully, other ladies in similar situations can learn from your experiences, and understand one doesn't need to remain married to a beast, to be fulfilled. You take care of yourself, your little girl, and do what you need to do, to move on with your life. You'll meet the right person eventually, and all this will be nothing but an unpleasant memory. Just give yourself time to heal, you'll be just fine. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 1:49pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Siena:Up to you bro...your concept doesn't define me.thanks 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Nobody: 2:33pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Taryur3: My concept, as you put it, wasn't meant to define who, or what you are. But if that's what you're reading into things... ...I rest my case. 1 Like |
Re: Advice: After Two Wasted Years, I Want Divorce Now by Taryur3(m): 2:46pm On Jun 17, 2016 |
Siena:Rude to you? Noo... I never support any abusive relationships in any way.I never mean what your wrote in your second paragraph bros...if her mum that is aware of how everything got started has never concluded that she should divorce...I see no reason why anyone that doesn't know this lady should be advising her with such.is your marriage perfect sir?she has been abused physically and mentally...I know that is wrong.but you might be surprise if you hear from the abusive man too...majority of the ladies jumped into conclusion by hearing from one body...I dnt blame them...they are known for that.I never judge neither the lady nor the husband because I dnt know them and how they started thier love.am only suggesting she can still try harder to safe the marriage she happily signed for...Divorce is not a big deal now in this century. ..but according to a great philosopher...that I love...says...women are much severely affected by divorces...In the western world around 65% mothers do not receive any support by the government not to talk of nigeria...I hope the OP finds solution to her problems and be happy...that is my own.thanks |
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