thorpido:
Juzzybabe my sister.I'm pro-marriage but this one you have is just not it.Having waited this long and your hubby is still not making amends and trying to work out the marriage,I'll say you should move on.
Since the child is with you,you will raise the child all by yourself.
It's true you may not be able to deny the child meeting the father in the future but I believe the law will favour you having custody of the child.
Just get a good lawyer who will advise you.

samhay:
Somebody is dieing and some of you are being religious. This African mentality tire me ooo
Even the Oyinbo wey introduce us to the religion use their brain.


Madam plz get out of the marriage. And for your fear of him claiming your daughter.


All you need to do is train up your child with so much LOVE. Do not speak ill about her father to her,but always let her know you are HER FATHER AND MOTHER.


Right from now,be her best friend,I mean always talk to her.I mean both jokes and serious discussion. Guess she is old enough to give response. Talk about aw ur day went and ask her everything about her.

You owe her pecks on her 2cheeks every night 1 as her father and the other as her mother.
Always hug her,in short do all u can.

Some pple will say what has kiss and hugs gat to do with dis,but I tell you,you are working on her psychologically.

I knw of a case like this,so am speaking from experience.

Remember, u need to get out of the marriage and do not speak hate about him to the girl.


Nothing and No one will take you child away from you.God bless you

Just2okworld

Taryur3:

Ok thank you...I will think about it mamarose. LEKAN SHONDE AND AROWOLO DON SUFFER FOR UNA HAND

MRBrownJ:








as i can see some of you may have had problem understanding my post, i will post exactly what i mean, because there are TWO very important failed quotes from the OP here:



is caring for a child BLACKMAIL now? lets us NOT dwell on the story, what we DO know is that this guy is not making a lot of money in Dubai and he wanted her to come and hustle with him there, BEFORE they could bring the child over (which is what any caring parent SHOULD do). so we can confirm that A) money is tight and B) her help was needed in Dxb to make the family "stronger". that was always the plan since day one, she decided to run back to GH instead, which is her right.....

but here are the IMPORTANT questions that all of you should ask:
- if that man had no money before, why does this lady think that now that she is back in Ghana he will/should have any?
- if a father hasnt got financial support (thats the reason wifey had to stay at his parents, isnt it?), should he be automatically deleted from a child's life?!?!?!?!
- how is deleting the father from her life gonna solve ANY of the problem?
- wouldnt this broke father able to help the child emotionally?

this whole issue is about REVENGE, and nothing else, and this deluded lady is using her kids to get back at this man who "supposedly" damaged her life.

tearoses:


No Sir!!
Dont get it twisted
Mrs Shonde and Mrs Arowolo suffered in the hands of Lekan Sonde and Arowolo
Their kids who have lost a mother and a father are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo
All Titi and Ronke's Loved ones are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo
How will you feel if God forbid you were Ronke's Brother?
Be honest
I am almost sure that those kids are being treated as househelps in one uncle or auntys house
They are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo

I want to correct your mentality that a woman who is not married due to whatever reason is half a human being.
Its not by force to remain married especially if your life is at risk.
People who are being treated with love and respect in their own marriages dont have 2 heads
I will never advise anyone to stay put in an abusive marriage just to satisfy society

You asked if someone will marry juzzybabe
I ask you, How much have you given to the upkeep of the Arowolo and the Shonde children and how much daddy time have you given them?

Juzzybabe:
Am trying to reach the priest who celebrated our wedding mass. Other priest i consulted said he's the right person to start with. Meanwhile,they are saying i need to come over to Nigeria but i don't have that time now. Trying to see what can be done from here.

Bolade005:

Have you contacted the lawyer?

Juzzybabe:


Not yet dear.

Antiparticle:
I understand that you mean well with your advice but I vehemently disagree that she should keep enduring. You want her to stay with this jerk and keep praying Her so-called husband doesn't care about her life hence he beat her bloody while she was eight months pregnant and this is the advice you offer her? If I were OP's brother (or even the husband's brother), there is no way I wouldn't have had him beaten bloody! What a psycho of a husband!

OP, I sympathize with you. Please divorce him. He doesn't deserve you. Any man that lays hands on a woman is a sociopath and cannot be entrusted with her safety.

Run away from him. Please protect your life and your daughter's.

**To the lawyers on this thread who have offered help, kudos to you.**

achicares:

You obviously didn't understand her post, just the same way, your post is not making sense to me.
maybe, your looking issue from "the man's world", that's being self-centered. You get to be realistic.

Did she need to go go to Dubai, while she has a job on which can comfortably take care of herself and the child?

What if she had lost her life when the man was giving all those beatings?

What if there had been a miscarriage?

And please, I want to your own definition of blackmail.

Apparently, you're commenting on a wrong thread. It seems to me, you read something another thread, come here to comment. That's why your comments are line with this thread.

samuelson06:

It's quite sad but I never read the part involving battery. Trust me, divorce is a sad change in the life of anybody. It's a clear show of defeat from the devil. It's a shame for parties involve not just physically but spiritually also. I wouldn't advice anyone to file for divorce no matter what because I understand that life is not physical. Or how can you explain a situation between two people that were once love birds and suddenly they become enemies? Why didn't all the bad attitudes and character of the other showed up before they got married? Don't think of pretense, they may have not been any. I see what is happening to this family as an attack of the enemy: turning the heart of one against the other. But I'll still maintain that there can be a reconciliation; this family can overcome this challenge and live together in peace again. That love they enjoyed in the beginning is still there, just somewhere and they can activate it again. The problem is that nobody is ready to fight for that peace. I'm someone that always believe that in every challenge, there can always be a way to make peace. I don't believe in running away from challenges. I dig deep and find out how to make things work. Marriage is about managing the other. There's no perfect marriage. Finally, in this situation, someone needs deliverance and until that is done, peace may never be in sight. The problem definitely, is not running away because you never know if the real problem is you. Divorce can be the beginning of your destruction.

Juzzybabe:


Come to think of it, do u think he even care about the kid? NO. So y would i want to use my kid against him?

If i were to be your sister, am sure you will hug such a BIL and tell him he's the best guy and hustling so he should stay in wherever he is until he get rich and marry another woman.

He is not rich but he is ok and meeting ends for himself. If you have no idea about what marriage entails, i will tell you today that communication and understanding matters most.

I know his income in Dubai and its equivalent in Naira or dollars. I only married a self centered man that thinks about himself alone.

Its not revenge or blackmailing. those on this forum who have interacted with me on phone knows me to some extent. Am bitter he knew he wasn't ready for marriage and he got me into it and now he feels he cant go on, but life has to go on. Am doing my best taking care of the kid alone, do u expect me to dash her to man man who has shown no care but have all the time to post on facebook the latest tattoos drawn on his body?

If i were your sis,will that be your advice?

what moral value can a man of such impact in his kid? teach her her how to pierce her body?

I know he will come someday looking for his daughter,and i hate it when people thinks he has every right to his child weather he performed his duty or not,isn't that so sick to say?

I left his parents because i didn't want to die there. Even tho i gets home late someday to have a chat with my daughter but the kiss on her head even when she's asleep,our Saturday trips,the fun we share is just too much to have missed in the cold hands of death. Leaving that house,even my enemies told me was the best thing i ever did. you need to see my before and after pics. you need to see me while pregnant, how depressed and sickly i was due to emotional stress. I have had enough sweetheart, am only sharing but trust me, am never going back.

Juzzybabe:


Not yet dear.

Taryur3:

Sorry madam..am not convenient with that your statement of correcting my mentality that unmarried person is a half being.did I wrote something similar to that here? Why are you trying to get me confused?did I defend those men for killing thier wives? but did you think they intentionally carried out such wicked act? PRAY to God for devil not to visit your marriage if you are hooked up..why are you asking me if av contributed to the life of those children? Did I support their father for killing their mum? How much did you think I can giv to bring back the lost souls...please stop asking me some annoying questions that doesn't concern me.I ve only made a suggestion to the OP...which she can take or reject.besides...I dnt know her from anywhere.pls dnt quote me again...thanks

Memyselfu2009:
The only grand for divorce is Adultery.

oodua1stson:
religious people and lack of common sense

Smh

Taryur3:

Stop advising her for divorce.can you marry a single mother if you are a man

Taryur3:

Gerrarahere.mama lawyer...if you help her to divorce her man...will you find another one for her?you have to sign with her that both of you will marry your husband before you make any step in advising her for divorce...wts going on here is misunderstanding which can easily be settled if both of them have their own privacy.

Taryur3:

Am not in support of the beating...Will you get a man to marry her if she divorce...how many men are interested in single mum...think before you advise this lady...wtf

Taryur3:

Bolade...busy body...your approco...too.much.I hope u are paying the consultation fee...for her...if she finally divorce...just make sure your lawyer get her a perfect man.thanks for your concern

tearoses:


No Sir!!
Dont get it twisted
Mrs Shonde and Mrs Arowolo suffered in the hands of Lekan Sonde and Arowolo
Their kids who have lost a mother and a father are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo
All Titi and Ronke's Loved ones are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo
How will you feel if God forbid you were Ronke's Brother?
Be honest
I am almost sure that those kids are being treated as househelps in one uncle or auntys house
They are the ones suffering at the hands of Lekan Shonde and Arowolo

I want to correct your mentality that a woman who is not married due to whatever reason is half a human being.
Its not by force to remain married especially if your life is at risk.
People who are being treated with love and respect in their own marriages dont have 2 heads
I will never advise anyone to stay put in an abusive marriage just to satisfy society

You asked if someone will marry juzzybabe
I ask you, How much have you given to the upkeep of the Arowolo and the Shonde children and how much daddy time have you given them?

Taryur3:

Hey madam...did I quote you here...?why are you typing my name all over this thread? Why the insults? Did u know me before? Or are you insane? I just wrote my own opinion without insulting anyone and you continue running up like a mad goat.why don't you just write your own without insulting someone...?I dnt know if you are married...and if you do may you divorce soon in Jesus name as you wish the OP to divorce.why are you trying to scatter a marriage that was blessed at early stage...? Which marriage is perfect? If she divorce the stubborn man now...are you ready to engage her with a perfect man? No wonder most of you ladies always be a victim of circumstances...you only think in one direction. Why don't you help her to pray for her marriage....olodo oshi...Even her mum never advise her to divorce...you are here ranting she should seek for divorce...the OP should just becareful of the kind of advise she follow...your type cnt counsel pre nursery kid not to talk of marriage....Abosede...dnt let me have your time here...and never you quote or type my name all over again.thanks for understanding

Alipanks:
My Advice.
If you plan on Not Getting Married again in Life, go ahead with the Divorce.
But if you plan on getting married again, Don't even think about it. Though your story is pathetic, you swore for better or worse. God is not ya mate my friend. Love endures all things, so should you. he has not crucified you yet, has he? Forgive n grace will be available to take you through. Trust God.

#IcePk

Duru009:
It seems u marry cos u wre desparate lik most girls of nowadays....
Divorce its never a solution for marriage problem xpecially wen a child its involve dear....

ruffcoin99:
Lets reverse the case, the man married a wrong woman. We know una type.

uzolexis:


I can't help but insult you if that would make you use your brain cos it seems your brain is on hold. How you are kicking against divorce is so insane, it is not OK, i repeat it is NEVER OK to stay in an abusive relationship. Also advising her to leave her child for her mother in-law on top a man that does not even care about her and with the way her mother in-law treats her. Telling her to keep praying, is it until God comes down himself and pulls her out of that marriage you will have sense?? God gave us a brain for a reason, her happiness is of utmost importance here. People like you should NEVER give marriage advise ever, I know marriage is not all rosy but physical abuse should not be a part of it. My Parents have been married for almost 30 yrs and my father has NEVER raised a hand on my mother and trust me they went through tough times but that did not give my Father license to hit my mum cos he was stressed. If that man kills her, God will blame her cos she was very selfish and didn't put her child into consideration cos she wants to be a Mrs

Thank you, sis. You make perfect sense.

Juzzybabe:


Come to think of it, do u think he even care about the kid? NO. So y would i want to use my kid against him? If i were to be your sister, am sure you will hug such a BIL and tell him he's the best guy and hustling so he should stay in wherever he is until he get rich and marry another woman.
He is not rich but he is ok and meeting ends for himself. If you have no idea about what marriage entails, i will tell you today that communication and understanding matters most. I know his income in Dubai and its equivalent in Naira or dollars. I only married a self centered man that thinks about himself alone. Its not revenge or blackmailing. those on this forum who have interacted with me on phone knows me to some extent. Am bitter he knew he wasn't ready for marriage and he got me into it and now he feels he cant go on, but life has to go on. Am doing my best taking care of the kid alone, do u expect me to dash her to man man who has shown no care but have all the time to post on facebook the latest tattoos drawn on his body? If i were your sis,will that be your advice? what moral value can a man of such impact in his kid? teach her her how to pierce her body? I know he will come someday looking for his daughter,and i hate it when people thinks he has every right to his child weather he performed his duty or not,isn't that so sick to say? I left his parents because i didn't want to die there. Even tho i gets home late someday to have a chat with my daughter but the kiss on her head even when she's asleep,our Saturday trips,the fun we share is just too much to have missed in the cold hands of death. Leaving that house,even my enemies told me was the best thing i ever did. you need to see my before and after pics. you need to see me while pregnant, how depressed and sickly i was due to emotional stress. I have had enough sweetheart, am only sharing but trust me, am never going back.

I've read the other thread, as well as this one. All I can say is, wow!

To have been through what you have, and still come out strong, independent and with your sanity, is a credit to you. Hopefully, other ladies in similar situations can learn from your experiences, and understand one doesn't need to remain married to a beast, to be fulfilled.

You take care of yourself, your little girl, and do what you need to do, to move on with your life. You'll meet the right person eventually, and all this will be nothing but an unpleasant memory. Just give yourself time to heal, you'll be just fine.

Siena:


You're not thinking straight.

No one is trying to "scatter" Juzzybabe's marriage. The decline began the moment her beast "husband" laid his violent hands on her. She has already made up her mind, she wants to get divorced, all she's asking for here is advice, regarding getting a divorce, and the future of her child.

I'm sure you can not only read, you can comprehend too.

Taryur3:

Up to you bro...your concept doesn't define me.thanks

Siena:


Very rude, and uncouth.

Juzzybabe started this thread, it's a cry for help. Once she started this thread, it became everybody's business.

You appear to be of the opinion, that a violent, abusive relationship or marriage is better than being single. That is not the case, certainly not in this day and age.