COOLWATER:

Do i have anything to worry about if my fiancee earns more than me? she works with an oil company. ^{although she has not shown any sign of arrogance}.

Broda man, what else do you want?  I should think you are afraid she might show "sign of arrogance" in future.  OR are you afraid of a sayings of our elders that goes thus: a wife that provides for the upkeep of the family usually talks to her husband disrespectfully? (This is not usually the case anyway.)

Where she works or what she earns shouldn't matter if you really love each other.

Nothing to fear, as long as you don't shift your  responsibilities as a man to her

i personally think that there is no issue to it but if u feel u ar not goin to be happy about it then u had better get out of the relationship because lots of men become bitter after marriage where the wife earns more. iknow of a guy who actually demolished the house built by the wife just because he did not have a block to his name. but if u can live with it coupled with the fact that ur girl really loves and respects you, then there should be no problem

Guy there's nothing really to worry about as long as you have the the right qualifications that can get you a job even better than hers, she will always respect you for she knows its just be sheer luck she got a better job than you.

inferiority complex has set into ur heart already.
So, go get a better pay job and be more hardworking

if u really love her for who she is and she also loves you for who you are,then i dont think the amount you earn monthly should affect your relationship.what ever amount you earn now is not what you will earn all your life.unless you are the lazy type.

whiteroses:

leave her and marry a poor woman wey fit devour your little money then abi wetin be the question again

o guy go find a bta job do cos i know u cant live with her earning more than u

Rehmie:

inferiority complex has set into your heart already.

go started something

I think if you dont quit being so assuming that there will be a problem.
with the mentality you have, everything she does,
you will think she does them cos she makes more money than you do.
you have to stop thinking in a barbaric manner, there is nothing with your chick making more money than you do.
this is the 21st century.

There is only one thing to worry about and that is you yourself. D only problem is your thinking. U better stop reasoning like a wowan and think like a real man. I dey cry for u o

That thing is not an easy thing o. Just pray she is the omoluwabi kind of girl otherwise i am afraid. Every woman wants a man they can look up to and when the man is not 'tall' enough to be looked up to it doesnt go quite well. We all want to feel like 'my husband is taking care of me' no matter how rich we are.

My advise is check inside yourself esp now that this kinda thinking has set in already. If you dont have a job that can put food on the table and you are not hoping to (having relegated yourself to low earner) then do something.

and so what

Well no big deal about it, abi make a talk about our men here 4 yankee wey don use dem women do working machine while dey seat at home drinking corona beer.

Just dont ever give her that impression and then watch her move towards whatever. She no dey craz to know that u hv been with her b4 she gta that job, How much be her salary nnaa?

frank3.16:

u see a woman
like her
ask her out
married her
live with her

and yet you come out here to ask nairaland if there is a problem because she is earning more than u.

do u really know what marriage is?

help me ask am.

mi castle es su castle

Doesnt that apply when the shoe is on the other feet

Be grateful and go on ur knees to thank God - stop m o a n i n g

There is nothing bad about it,You just have to work harder on your own

For you to post it on NL mean say wahala dey! Ol'boy, search yourself bo.

dont u know the meaning of marriage, 2 becoming 1. U should not have any probs with that. As long as u ignore her earnings and u still provide the basic things the family needs. carry go

As long as you too are happy. I advise you don't start something out of nothing.

Well unless she is arrogant about it, or you have a deep rooted issue with women earning more than men, there should be no issue.

Yes, some ignorant peopl will tease you about it, but they are the ones probably having to run after their wives to provide for them.

More money should benefit you too, remember it should go towards building your life together, believe me, being the bigger earner is not all it's cracked up to be.

The fact that her job intimidates you makes me think that you should not even waste her time. You might just make her life misreable.

It's no big deal.....

It's no big deal

bigfoot79:

It's no big deal my lady earns 3x more than i do, 

You're right, we women don't gloat about it, not to our husbands, our beloved. The only ones we might gloat about it to, is our bosses (behind their backs of course) and our workmates (now if your husband is your workmate then. . . gulp.

Infact, believe it or not, a lot of women mentally and sometimes physically limit themselves because they are afraid that being such a top-earner can make it very difficult for them to have a successful marriage, the fear of having a husband who secretly resents your job and financial independence is a little daunting.

@ poster u r already complexed, hope u'll stand the test of time, most serious guys i know would be relieved having a spouse that earn a decent pay more than theirs, but here u r complaining, d very reasons u should ask ursef are;

1. am i gainfully engaged, self or employed?
2. what are my targets?
3. 5 years from now what next?
4. whats ur relationship with eachother like, was it centred on money on "setting" or d a geniune intention to form a bond/companionship?

i guess the 4 qtns above would help a lot if u ve honest answers to them.

but if i were u, except ur girl has tendercies to "feel" which incidentally u never mentioned here, enjoyed ur favour, not many a guy ve it bro.

@poster,for me you dont to worry about anything,stay firm,act right ,be the man and hold your head up high.

@poster
milk her out of what U can,then dump her sorry ass.
a relationship were a woman earns more than a man can only work if the woman is NOT an african or a black person,otherwise alarm go blow sooner than later.

enough said

well,to me,dis is completely a complex problem, even if u earn more than ur partner and she dresses n looks posh than you,d beef will still be there, its an inbuilt thing if not, i dont see any reason to fink about it ab-initio.

she is yours,ur hers, come tgeda,kip up ur confidence,be hard working and earn some reasoanable income,support and build some understanding, Man,everitin will just be fine,

and if otherwise,she wan show herself as some sabi overskill,wahala no dey nw, 4get love, which love?just give am chinese packing,church close!

It appears the poster has inferiority complex.

Advice for you.
If you wan't to earn respect from your lady after marriage.

1 Always provide basic feeding allowance.
2 Always pay the bills.
3 When you have kids, always pay their fees.
4 Never ask her for money.

Let her spend her income on herself and the kids.
She might also supplement the feeding allowance.

If you do this, you'll forever earn her respect.

the whole thing na psychological matter.

some guys can handle it and others cannot. it depends on the man. if you cant handle it, either you ditch her or you do all it takes to earn more than she does.

the fact that you brought it up here means it is a big issue to you and you cannot handle it. do a bit of personal analysis in order to define what is important to you and what your values in life are.

but my friend if you don't deal with it and you go ahead and marry her, when the problems of marriage come you gonna feel she is misbehaving cos she earns more and believe me all women misbehave, old or young rich or poor black or bleached

whatever the case is, remember you have to be the man, the head of the home. i dont mean you should bully your wife and muscle her about. marriage is a partnership so everything should be shared. but the man is the senior partner.

all the best man