Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.

Every marriage comes with its own peculiar problem so you just have to deal with this by sitting her down and communicating sternly with her.

If that fails call the family and if this also fails then start eating out and ignore her food at home maybe this will pass the message and if this also fails and you really desire your wife then carry your cross.

The way people castigate divorcees nowadays just make me smh at their ignorance because if they know what some people go through in marriages they will apologize for spitting trash.

Huston1:

She is good at putting off the cooker or reduce it in the process of cooking. I don't know why. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and increase it. I have visited her family house and this is the same thing there. Breakfast is 11am in her family house. The annoying part is that you see her mom busy in the kitchen but the food is never out. The few times I slept in her family house, her mom wakes me up at night to say dinner is ready and she apologies for being late. I have watched my wife's mother cook. Sometimes I see her put off the cooker too. Washes plates and clean the kitchen up to 5 times before she finishes cooking. I don't really know how to work on my wife. This whole thing is affecting my kids too because they have to stay awake to eat before they go to bed. The worse part is that myself and my wife don't eat together most times because at the time she dishes my food, she goes back to kitchen to clean up. Sometimes when I wake up by 12 midnight or past twice, I see her in the parlor eating and watching Nigeria movie. Many times I force her to bed because she can actually stay awake till 1am

Hahaaaa, you are just giving us clue into all these messes, upbringing issue ni, was there no court ship ni?
Please try that bringing your mama to cook stuff, I can tell you no woman like such competition, it is unhealthy for us, she will have a change of attitude fast.

Huston1:

She is good at putting off the cooker or reduce it in the process of cooking. I don't know why. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and increase it. I have visited her family house and this is the same thing there. Breakfast is 11am in her family house. The annoying part is that you see her mom busy in the kitchen but the food is never out. The few times I slept in her family house, her mom wakes me up at night to say dinner is ready and she apologies for being late. I have watched my wife's mother cook. Sometimes I see her put off the cooker too. Washes plates and clean the kitchen up to 5 times before she finishes cooking. I don't really know how to work on my wife. This whole thing is affecting my kids too because they have to stay awake to eat before they go to bed. The worse part is that myself and my wife don't eat together most times because at the time she dishes my food, she goes back to kitchen to clean up. Sometimes when I wake up by 12 midnight or past twice, I see her in the parlor eating and watching Nigeria movie. Many times I force her to bed because she can actually stay awake till 1am

Lobatan!

This is why it is vital to calm down to hear full story before judging...ogbeni you have a big work to do and I'm afraid you might have to cope with it as it has been the culture in her family.

Just buy enough snacks at home and break that jinx if you have a daughter by advising her to cook on time.

See my brother just take heart and stick to your wife regardless as long as you desire her.

In my 4 decades in life I have come to realize that any marriage without issue is one that involves two robots or perfect pretenders.

deity:
She can cook the soup,different types every weekend and put them in the freezer, every night she brings the one to be eaten,take a portion and warm,then make the swallow it be eaten with it,I was like that too,because we eat late in my house before I got married, my husband complained too and I justed by doing the above.

even that will still take her 5 hrs

some women are the main problem in their broken marriages

How can you served your husband dinner by 11pm yet your not working??

its call dinner and not midnight food


when he meet a calabar girl that can make good food and he eat his dinner by 6pm

you will start jumping from one prayer house to another


man do the needful
she will sit up

what nonsense

tit:
mugun,
cant you cook yarsef?
why are you waiting for person to feed you?
you no get hand and leg?

This is the most stupid comment av come across here. Indeed small kids are already spoiling the thread. And it was mentioned for adult o

Huston1:

She is good at putting off the cooker or reduce it in the process of cooking. I don't know why. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and increase it. I have visited her family house and this is the same thing there. Breakfast is 11am in her family house. The annoying part is that you see her mom busy in the kitchen but the food is never out. The few times I slept in her family house, her mom wakes me up at night to say dinner is ready and she apologies for being late. I have watched my wife's mother cook. Sometimes I see her put off the cooker too. Washes plates and clean the kitchen up to 5 times before she finishes cooking. I don't really know how to work on my wife. This whole thing is affecting my kids too because they have to stay awake to eat before they go to bed. The worse part is that myself and my wife don't eat together most times because at the time she dishes my food, she goes back to kitchen to clean up. Sometimes when I wake up by 12 midnight or past twice, I see her in the parlor eating and watching Nigeria movie. Many times I force her to bed because she can actually stay awake till 1am

seriously dis is really nawa

I wanna believe that lady is a "clean freak" and that's why she wastes so much time in the kitchen just preparing a simple meal.
I suggest you either try eating out a couple of evenings or you bring your momma to cook. Do this for a noticeable period of time and she would change.

As I read this, I feel like she's my roommate's sister ooo
I'm serious.. This my roommate never cooks except once in a week or even once on two weeks or thereabout, but when she does, my God, I swear, she can start cooking rice n beans by 1 or 2pm and food will be read around 8 or 9pm.. don't get me wrong o, she's very neat and hardworking but washing clothes is a no no, cooking is a yes once in a blue moon but takes almost all the whole day to get ready..
She says her mum is exactly the same that they'll go out n buy food/snacks while the mum is cooking at home (they're used to it), she's like that and she's proud of it.
MY ADVICE: Talking to her will not work as it isn't intentional, the best therapy is to always come in with your take away from work as some people have suggested.
Good luck.
Another thing is that, if your female daughter grows us in this same situation, she'll frustrate another man like you in the nearest future.. break the chain now.

jaybillionaire:
baba u sef see am

Na so my brother

Ehhh!! [/b]Huston1 ..u ave a problem... Lol.[b]

Since you have talk to her several times, so whenever it is 7pm and the food is not ready just go out n eat, don't even raise eyebrows or Complain, let her do the Complaining, do this at all times she will adjust

Hahahaha so monkey yansh sef dey

blueeyes1:
I swear,Huston1,this thing wey you dey talk dey pain my bele.

Your wife is untidy and can't cook dinner on time? Hmmmm

Doing take outs won't solve the problem,rather your wife will just stop making dinner.
Get someone she respects a lot to talk to her,make your grievances known,your concerns,as it stands now, you are toying with your health, I feel for your kids too because they might end up like their mother. Get that person to talk to her.
For the fact that she adjusts when you complain shows that she can change if she wants to but I don't think she is willingly to make that sacrifice.
If she refuses to change,go into the kitchen,make something light for you and the kids,after that 'bone' her,and I mean BONE,no even eat breakfast or lunch sef, no lovey-lovey, give her monkey yansh for bed make she know say the thing dey pain you reach bone.

And if all these fail,do something dramatic, pretend to have a girlfriend,nothing changes a woman faster than threat or possibility of loosing the man she loves to another woman.

Wait o, Op,does she enjoy cooking?

Sorry my follow man ur wife is a lazy type nd what she need is prayer to deliver her from demonic spirit.

Irene leme recommend u for my friend, Okwudili Ombuka u fit him prrfectly

ireneony:
I dont know why some people take joy in eating late.
if there is anything am good at, is keeping to time when cooking. This evening, i started cooking around 4:30 and i finished cooking by 5:45...clean the kitchen, had my bath by 6:30, ate my dinner at 7:12.
some people like night food too much..kai.
no matter how hungry I am, once it's 10pm i don't eat!
even wen i eat, i take light food like tea.
When i was in school, i was amazed that people actually eat at 12am, beans for that matter, i sometimes ask them how do they do it .

I remember how a family that live in my street always eat pounded and egusi every night...the next morning when they wake up, their face will look all swollen. .

@op i will advise you to employ a cook since your wife is not ready to change. She doesnt work or have anything doing, yet she is this lazy and slow like a snail..hmmm to top it all, she is not tidy..wow.
your visitors must have mock both of you behind your back.
The reason i Dont visit people's house in Nigeria is because most of them have dirty bathrooms and toilet.
you will see a fine duplex, but the inside is nothing to write home about. .

Smh..
guy carry your cross yourself.

On a second thought, try and help her out in the kitchen, when she sees how fast u are in the kitchen, maybe...i say maybe she will learn from you...
if she is learned!!!

Wow av finally gotten a wife for my friend Okwudili Ombuka

Dollarmerchant:
I find it hard to believe its possible for one to cook a meal for 3 to 4 hours, na stone she dey cook? Well all the same I will ask the following questions:
1. Do you have a TV in your kitchen? Does she watch Nollywood daily? if the answer is no, then
2. Does she watch Telemundo?
3. Or she watches Zee world.
If the answer to the abovequestions is no...
Then I will ask what kind of cooker do you use? Stove, gas cooker, charcoal pot or firewood? If stove, Is it faulty? If not a faulty stove, then.... I will say there is something wrong some where, either she is learning to cook with a manual(but even that won't take 4hours). I won't say she is lazy because this is more than being lazy. There is something wrong somewhere, so you both should sit down and talk over it, maybe she hates cooking, or she is not happy about something,[b] cos the art of cooking is one of the greatest pleasures life offers to us. [/b]She obviously doesn't enjoy it.

willibounce1:
Bros nor vex oo.. e be like say you na ajebo o. You wan dey chop dinner for 7 or 7:30pm? For this lagos, even if your wife dey live for kitchen.

Omo find something chop for outside to hold belle and when food ready, make you chop. Omo if 10 or 11 pm never nack, man no dey chow oo. Dinner bawo...

But on a serious note, if that is what you want, she needs to change especially for the children. But try make your wife find one job or business to dey do.

God will bless you o who eats dinner around 7:30 in nigeria?
In my house we eat dinner around 12 or 1

Instead of you to go talk out things with your wife you came to nairaland to complain. It shows u aint matured

Disconnect ur DSTV or GOTV she will take correction by force.

Gchris1749:
Instead of you to go talk out things with your wife you came to nairaland to complain. It shows u aint matured

You dey misyan.

Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.

Cancel your satellite tv . That is a cure for HyperTelemundiasis

So far threatening her hasn't brought much of a result.
1) Sit her down and talk to her. try finding out why her food always takes time. and let her know the implications(don't scream or shout. will only make it worse)
2) Show her more Love, remind her of what drew you to her in the first place.
3) Surprise her with things you know she loves every once in a while.
4) Call her from work....ask what's for dinner, pretend you are so hungry and don't want to eat out cz no food tastes like hers.
5) When you get home and food isn't ready yet.... help her out in the kitchen. get the kids to help out also. no matter how little you may think they are.

Huston1:

She is good at putting off the cooker or reduce it in the process of cooking. I don't know why. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and increase it. I have visited her family house and this is the same thing there. Breakfast is 11am in her family house. The annoying part is that you see her mom busy in the kitchen but the food is never out. The few times I slept in her family house, her mom wakes me up at night to say dinner is ready and she apologies for being late. I have watched my wife's mother cook. Sometimes I see her put off the cooker too. Washes plates and clean the kitchen up to 5 times before she finishes cooking. I don't really know how to work on my wife. This whole thing is affecting my kids too because they have to stay awake to eat before they go to bed. The worse part is that myself and my wife don't eat together most times because at the time she dishes my food, she goes back to kitchen to clean up. Sometimes when I wake up by 12 midnight or past twice, I see her in the parlor eating and watching Nigeria movie. Many times I force her to bed because she can actually stay awake till 1am

bro, get a smaller TV in the kitchen so that she can watch nolly wood and cook simultaneously. From your point, watching Nigerian movies after midnight means she's addicted to it. Probably when you leave the house, she watches movies all day. You know that moment when you say let me watch small and go cook for my husband, she ends up watching the whole series unbeknownst .

If it takes her 5hrs to cook, you can call her every 6hours prior to 7pm to start cooking, with time it becomes a muscle memory. or make her cook dinner in the morning immediately after breakfast, and do the microwave yourself when you get back and clean you dishes afterwards. Or if you know how to cook, on your off days, teach her a faster method of cooking.

Note: Don't give her any stupid ultimatum, she is your wife not your bitchhsss or slave. I still believe in peaceful dialog and never dare to eat outside as an alternative for your wife's meal, otherwise you are nursing a disaster that's about to escalate.


If not for the movie part you included, I'd had dived into conclusion that she's cheating on you or going around gossiping and forget that she has domestic obligations to attend to.


[size=15pt]I make egusi and pounded yam in less than 1hr[/size].
Marriage is the biggest scam . i don't give advice to save marriages, but it seems you got yourself a lucky day

crackhaus:
I really can't wait to see how our beloved resident defenders of women spin this one around...assuming your story is true of course.

If it were up to me though, I would say divorce her dammiit.
What insolence!

Divorce Kwa! U no get any chill at all. What happened to making good his threat of not eating beyond 7:30?

Eyah....not good but as you have said that how she was brought up. Too bad she has taken such habits into her marital home. As a lady/woman its not even healthy to eat late. With constant efforts she is bound to change. No one is actually perfect nor born perfect, she could always drop it and become better.


Guys/men have theirs too its for better for worse. Marriage can't be rosy all the time, how best situations like these become managed helps to strengthen the union in the long run.

Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.

I was in that situation sometimes, i went on food strike after 8:pm but no changes until i have to join her in the kitchen, then i knew she doesn't have planning on how to cook ( knowing the right thing and applying them). But she's a good cook. Now i enjoy my home. Try it and i promise you it will work

Something is taking her attention. Check her phone records and social media presence. I just hope Telemundo and Zee world are not the culprit AGAIN.

Find her something to do, Women should not be housewives, she is getting lazy, can't you see the picture, imagine someone sleeping during the day, at night she will become a nightwalker, she will be relaxed at night. No matter how small it is, until she starts working during the day, nothing will change.

Huston1:

She is good at putting off the cooker or reduce it in the process of cooking. I don't know why. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and increase it. I have visited her family house and this is the same thing there. Breakfast is 11am in her family house. The annoying part is that you see her mom busy in the kitchen but the food is never out. The few times I slept in her family house, her mom wakes me up at night to say dinner is ready and she apologies for being late. I have watched my wife's mother cook. Sometimes I see her put off the cooker too. Washes plates and clean the kitchen up to 5 times before she finishes cooking. I don't really know how to work on my wife. This whole thing is affecting my kids too because they have to stay awake to eat before they go to bed. The worse part is that myself and my wife don't eat together most times because at the time she dishes my food, she goes back to kitchen to clean up. Sometimes when I wake up by 12 midnight or past twice, I see her in the parlor eating and watching Nigeria movie. Many times I force her to bed because she can actually stay awake till 1am

Op according to what you z here,her problem is from home. You can overcome it but it is gradual process,don't fight her.
What you will do is call her nd let her knw you are not happy and ask where can you render assistant.

And you can as well join her in kitchen when cooking to supervise her but let your stay with her be fun,frm there she will improve gradually.

Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.

u re the one at fault here. U re not principled enough. U shud be very ready to make gud ur threat. Ur wife complies with ur only for 2days and breaches again the 3rd day and u succumbs to her.
I was ones in ur situation. But when my wife realised that I'm naturally ok with restaurant food and I started threatening to remove my dinner money frm her monthly food money, she had to adjust.
Make her see how much u love to eat out.

Looking at ur pics, it's obvious u eat very late in the night

telemapreye1:
God will bless you o who eats dinner around 7:30 in nigeria?
In my house we eat dinner around 12 or 1

op my dad will always tell me "what you cannot do after marriage don't do it during honeymoon"
Re format yourself and let her know what you want , if she cannot meet up she should go for vacation for one month to learn from home and resume after a month

Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.