Toks2008:
THE SUBMISSIVE WOMAN

Most ladies spend so much time and energy preparing for a wedding ceremony but very unprepared for just one condition responsible for a formidable union called SUBMISSION.

The modern day woman has allowed sophistication as a result of sound education and several other factors to make her see herself as equal to a man hence finds it difficult to be extremely submissive and this is one of the triggering factors for a break up. Being fully submissive to your man is one of the greatest secret to longevity of any romantic affair so Lets see what the Quran and Bible has to say concerning the act of submission from the woman.

Al-Tirmidhi 3272 - "When Allah's Messenger was asked which woman was best he replied, 'The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves'."

Ephesians 5:22-24 :Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

No woman has any business with marriage or any serious romantic affair with a man until she is ready to "submit,honor,respect,reverence her husband to the maximum level just as she will respect the lord.Show me a submissive woman and I will show you a peaceful and lasting union.Being submissive does not mean you should obey your man blindly or go against the commandments of GOD neither does it make you a zombie or a mindless person but it means being meek,humble and serene even when you disagree with your man as many times as possible.Believe it or not,no matter how many relationships you get involved in,you will always have issues if you don't learn how to submit yourself to your man.

And as the man,for whatever reason you choose to marry that lady, if you are not ready to love that woman with her imperfections and without exception with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of loving-kindness all the days of your life please don't propose marriage to her.

GOD commands the man to love the wife and the wife to submit to the husband. Refusal to do this is rebellion against GOD himself.By loving your wife you are honoring GOD and not doing your wife a favor and by submitting to your husband, you are demonstrating an act of obedience to GOD and not to your husband.

I hope this makes sense.

toks n his endless theoretical lectures... well iv a little modification or more or less of a counsel sef..pls wen ur married..lovv ur wife first ..not just romantic one alone..develop loyal lov for her n watch her reciprocate by bin submissive.u people should stop watering down on the gravity of adultery. it is a big SIN.d only scriptural ground for divorce ..cheating by either of d spouse is sooo UNACCEPTABLE .gracias

uzolexis:


Yes respect and submission is earned. You said even if your husband screams at you, insults you or disrespects you, you should not even scream back or react badly, do you know women are human and have feelings as well, do you know how terrible it feels when someone you love cheats on you or hurts you Do you know not expressing your displeasure can destroy ones emotional stability
See my parents have been married for over 30 years, very happily married I must add but they argue, my Dad consults my mum before he makes any major decisions and if she disagrees he does not go ahead with it feeling like he is the MAN and the same goes for my mum.They both respect each other and treat each other as partners and my Dad does not lord over my mum, that is how a marriage should be, nobody wants to be treated as lesser than the other cos both parties are humans and should be made to feel like their opinion matters in the relationship so everyone wins, marriage is a partnership and not a lord-servant relationship.

Thanks sis..this toks sounds so much like my ex-fiance..I am happy i left him...i couldnt cope with his too much rules and regulations like i was a slave

SirVintageCock:
Did the Bible you keep quoting your talks also informed you about this.? If you are basing your argument from the Bible please stick to. David had a case with God after bedding Uriah's wife.
It is an African man's mentality not biblical and unchristian to cheat and when you cheat you commit adultery which according to my Bible is a sin and it rubbishes the sanctity of marriage. It should not be condole by anyone. It is a breach of trust and Us men should not allow ourselves be roped into thinking that it is a way of life that is acceptable at all.

Well said!.

ElsonMorali:


And that's how the they marry the wrong person and start shouting that all men are the same.

He may write that online but I can authoritatively tell you that no man wants to marry a contentious woman.

Why will I marry a home wrecker when there are peaceful women out there.

Being submissive doesn't mean you don't have an opinion or that you become a mumu.

Submission is the power that has been given to women to conquer and subdue the world. That's why they are built physically the way they are.

Unlike the men who have to display raw physical strength.

The fact that a woman has a say in the home does not make her contentious. God bless my parents and pls God give me a man like and better than my Dad. The way my Dad respects my mum, the way he regards her opinion and she reciprocates this as well. They make maor decisions together and one party does not agree with something, the other party does not go ahead with it, they argue about issues and my Mum is allowed to express her displeasure even shout sometimes and my Dad has never raised a finger on her cos of that or treated her less than she desrves and they make up almost immediately after. So, I have seen and lived in a loving home with loving Parents where the wife is treated as an equal partner in the relationship so I know what it means so all this poo you guys are saying here makes no sense to me at all.

LynnPetra:
I still belive that wives should respect their husbands and be submissive. Unfortunately, the power of such submission lies In the hands of the husband who must first love the wife as Christ love the church. That's why I love matured men who understands the philosophy of "Do to others what you want them to do to you". You can't disrespect your wife and expects her to be submissive. The world is changing already, men now wants women to contribute both financially and otherwise to the home, and some women who are ambitious will find it difficult being submissive. Personally, I also demand respect from my man and sometimes I enforce it ,dammit!

Finally, [b.]believe there are men that naturally commands submission from their wives because they play their roles well.It just comes flawlessly. A wise husband don't have any business with a wife who doesn't submit.[\b]

You are blessed! thats d point right there, noone should enforce submission on a woman simple becos he married her, dats crap. love your wife unconditionally and she wud forever respect you, it wud come naturally. no one is saying a man shouldnt be d head.. dat had already been certified, but that doesn't mean he a "LORD" for wat? if a man is nt illiterate ,den he shud know that wen u work in Union with ur wife, seek her opinion about something, his marriage wud be blessed. pls Toks ders no such tin as extreme submission and lordship in marriage. Don't enforce ur ideas on odas

[center][/center][quote author=Berbierklaus post=49370962]
[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]

Nice one...that was touching.

elektra:



1st Wife: Submissive
Husband: Marries second wife.

So much for the blissful marriage toks2008 promised submissive wives.

It's blissful as long as they get what they want. Regardless of whether their partner is happy or not.

uzolexis:


The fact that a woman has a say in the home does not make her contentious. God bless my parents and pls God give me a man like and better than my Dad. The way my Dad respects my mum, the way he regards her opinion and she reciprocates this as well. They make maor decisions together and one party does not agree with something, the other party does not go ahead with it, they argue about issues and my Mum is allowed to express her displeasure even shout sometimes and my Dad has never raised a finger on her cos of that or treated her less than she desrves and they make up almost immediately after. So, I have seen and lived in a loving home with loving Parents where the wife is treated as an equal partner in the relationship so I know what it means so all this poo you guys are saying here makes no sense to me at all.

That's where they're all getting it wrong. Love is the greatest force and not submission or fear. Love can conquer even the hardest heart. When you can love your wife unconditionally just as you love and take care of your own body, there's nothing that can make that can make that woman to ever disrespect you.

The reason many get it wrong is because they don't know the true meaning of love. No woman will ever insult a man who can sacrifice the last plate of food for her to eat when they have nothing at home.

That's why the Lord Jesus Christ mentioned husbands loving their wives first because he knows many would pick the submissive part first.

I took time to read the post and series of comments...both the abusive and contributory..one thing is a lot might seem to disagree with the op, some may agree, but I have learnt from all...submission...a very critical topic that many marriage counselors, pastors, ministers, individuals have interpreted in soo many ways...

osaslord500:





My sister you are a fool

Okay

Op are you married and does your wife live with you ?

Are you saying that men do not submit to their bosses to work? A very daft comment man.....

universalMan:
The hypocrisy in most equal-right women is betrayed in their steady and constant "slavery" to their bosses in the work place vs their intolerance of submission to their husbands at home. Clearly, there is a superior desirable they are prepared to "slave" for at work! Any women who esteems money and fame over God's order should steer clear from marriage.

jbonito:




Walahi, if u had not backed this up with religious brouhaha, it could have been more appealing. Forget 'the bible says'. The bible said so many other things, we don't do half of it except those that are 100% religious so probably they may follow this line.

Practically, when u love ur wife n involve her in key decision making, respect and care for her, she will most likely respect n summit to you. ( except she's a crazian ). This is vice versa.

One major reason marriages of past decades seems to "work" based on total submissiveness was the infused culture + tradition then. Not even d Bible or Quran. Women were raised to respect their husband and "stay" in ur marital home no matter what. So daddy of the house comes back one day and says he's taking a second wife and our grandmothers just "summit" ( not happily though ).
But modernisation and exposure within our generation means how our girls are raised is different and we've moved away from that style. Now Uve got to work for your marriage to work, put in shifts, respect each other and total communication/honesty. That way, ur partner doesn't even need to say No in a calm way cos u both arrive at every important decisions " together ".
Avoid d conflict, don't provide solution for it.

Shalom!!

You've got to work for your marriage to work, that's all!

Thanks for this.

You miss the point, he didnt sound as though he had monopoly, he only showed passages from authoritative sources (the Bible and the Quran), now your postulation that love is reciprocal is not the bone of contention here, he didnt dwell on a give and take thing, he only showed what submission could earn a woman and that in my opinion maybe inadvertently earning the man's submission too! The circle starts from one point initially and if both parties do their bits, then it can be a peaceful big family circle. [s]Its me that know pass people like you shior[/s]

Diplomaticbeing:
@OP


Stop sounding like you're an authority or one who has monopoly of wisdom.

Your postulation is flawed to someone like me, because I believe that love or submission when given (earned or not), should be maintained so as to sustain it.

In my altruistic nature, every living human being is automatically qualified for my love, care, respect etc - free of charge - however, to sustain any of these free goodies from me (especially a wife) she must continually improve (maintain) on all virtues.

In summary, I say altruism plus reciprocation equal to a healthy and happy marriage.

jaci02:



That's where they're all getting it wrong. Love is the greatest force and not submission or fear. Love can conquer even the hardest heart. When you can love your wife unconditionally just as you love and take care of your own body, there's nothing that can make that can make that woman to ever disrespect you.

The reason many get it wrong is because they don't know the true meaning of love. No woman will ever insult a man who can sacrifice the last plate of food for her to eat when they have nothing at home.

That's why the Lord Jesus Christ mentioned husbands loving their wives first because he knows many would pick the submissive part first.

God bless you, you totally get it. The feelings should be reciprocal but the OP is insisting a wife should be submissive no matter what a husband does, that's where i disagree with him.

I have said it times without number that that term ‘submission' is not only derogatory but also confusing.


Me, myself and I cannot be submissive (future husband take note) but I can be very reasonable, understanding, loving, respectful and flexible.

jaci02:



That's where they're all getting it wrong. Love is the greatest force and not submission or fear. Love can conquer even the hardest heart. When you can love your wife unconditionally just as you love and take care of your own body, there's nothing that can make that can make that woman to ever disrespect you.

The reason many get it wrong is because they don't know the true meaning of love. No woman will ever insult a man who can sacrifice the last plate of food for her to eat when they have nothing at home.

That's why the Lord Jesus Christ mentioned husbands loving their wives first because he knows many would pick the submissive part first.

You make too much sense....even Christ didn't wait for the submission of the Church before laying his life for her.
Christ, the head of the church conquered the Church via the greatest love, to lay down one's life for another. Therefore Men, as heads if the family should be ready to do such for their wives.

elektra:



1st Wife: Submissive
Husband: Marries second wife.

So much for the blissful marriage toks2008 promised submissive wives.

.

You know Men will always be Men , But eventually nko?? What's good will always remain what's good??.

Plz ma'am. Just saw you profile and saw where you are.. Plannin to come to the states right after my degree, plz ma'am, some good tips you can actually tell me to enhance the process ??

Like we don't have married men who disagree with him?

Wise people don't seek advice from those that failed ventures especially not from a divorcee who has been unable to find a woman to settle down with since the divorce.



How old is grandpa now?:-(

kaboninc:


This particular post is not flawed.

'And wise people seek advice from those with failed ventures' - I saw this one here

How old are you?

KPboy:


Sorry my dear... I normally don't post anything. But if he doesn't love you, why does he propose and you accept to marry him?

CindyeMerAld:

what do u classify as been submissive??

Oh my! I'm so surprised that this innocuous act of submission has become a herculean task for ladies.

My simple classification is just as precise as the meaning..SUBMIT

Disagree with your man in an arrogant manner and watch his reaction but disagree with him in a meek manner and he is likely to flow with you.

The devil is so smart that he has complicated the simple act of submission .

misspicy:
Odunharry

Speechless

doveda:
Like we don't be married men who disagree with him?

Wise people don't seek advice from those that failed ventures especially not from a divorcee who has been unable to find a woman to settle down with since the divorce.



How old is grandpa now?:-(

Rather how old are you?

The word 'submit' means to put oneself in another person's hands. Chaos happens when everyone is trying to lead at the same time. So one person has been designated by God (Genesis 3:16) in each family to be the lead and the other to put themselves in the leader's trusting hands. God has given this role of leadership to the husband of each wife. The wife is not less in intelligence or talent but is weaker as a physical vessel (1Peter 3:7). Her role is to carry and care for the children that will come from this relationship. If a man loves his wife as himself, which is what Jesus told them to do, then it is not very difficult for the wife to submit and trust him to make final family decisions. In some cases when the woman has more expertise on some issue then he is expected to submit to her so that there is peace in the family (see Ephesians 5). We are NEVER to lord it over each other for any reason (Matthew 20:25 - 26). To be submissive is not just for females but also for us all. We learn and grow from talking to each other whether a husband and wife or brother and sister or mother and father with their children and are told to keep a humble and contrite heart. We are to develop relationships of trust and confidence and respect with all men so there is an element of submission in everything we do. Women today have almost given up their role as first teacher to their children and have forsaken the role of wife and mother for the world of work. Therefore, to understand the meaning of being submissive from God's perspective we must first submit to him and do as he has instructed so that we may all benefit from a lifetime of blessings.

repogirl:
You make too much sense....even Christ didn't wait for the submission of the Church before laying his life for her.
Christ, the head of the church conquered the Church via the greatest love, to lay down one's life for another. Therefore Men, as heads if the family should be ready to do such for their wives.

A woman who dearly loves her husband will surely submit to him

I have been looking for you

Can you please send me your number? Thanks

LynnPetra:
I still belive that wives should respect their husbands and be submissive. Unfortunately, the power of such submission lies In the hands of the husband who must first love the wife as Christ love the church. That's why I love matured men who understands the philosophy of "Do to others what you want them to do to you". You can't disrespect your wife and expects her to be submissive. The world is changing already, men now wants women to contribute both financially and otherwise to the home, and some women who are ambitious will find it difficult being submissive. Personally, I also demand respect from my man and sometimes I enforce it ,dammit!

Finally, I believe there are men that naturally commands submission from their wives because they play their roles well.It just comes flawlessly. A wise husband don't have any business with a wife who doesn't submit.

Toks2008:


Honestly if you understand the power of submission, you will glorify Jehovah for the instruction cos from the history lanes...submissive wives actually have their husbands in their palms..this is the greatest way to actually make your man do your bidding. ..this is the mystery only the wise women understand.

can you please give some examples of the submissive wives in the bible so that I can read more on it, thank you

Toks2008:


Oh my! I'm so surprised that this innocuous act of submission has become a herculean task for ladies.

My simple classification is just as precise as the meaning..SUBMIT

Disagree with your man in an arrogant manner and watch his reaction but disagree with him in a meek manner and he is likely to flow with you.

The devil is so smart that he has complicated the simple act of submission .

what of if ur husband is shouting and raising his voice at u,u shld be submissive...OR what of if he wants 2 beat u,u shld submit to the beating as per goat na

doveda:
I have said it times without number that that term ‘submission' is not only derogatory but also confusing.


Me, myself and I cannot be submissive (future husband take note) but I can be very reasonable, understanding, loving, respectful and flexible.

It is people like you who submit the most.

kaboninc:


A woman who dearly loves her husband will surely submit to him

but isn't it the man who is supposed to love and the woman who is supposed to submit?

mamawin:
I have seen many women left their marriages because their husbands cheated, only for them to marry already married men. to me that is not the solution, because the problem remains. submission and respect are two things that can make marriage last longest. you won't even get to know your partner's fault, BUT there are exceptional cases ooo

Here you are as zebudia use to say.

Sometimes when i create some threads and some people just barge in to curse and attack me i just laugh calmly because i know that most people who abuse me for my no holds bar threads today will likely remember it in the nearest future.

I presume you must be a very married lady because your insightful comment depicts it. Nice submission.