How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal - Romance

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How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 10:22am On Sep 29, 2016

Hi Bella,

We’re Facebook friends but you don’t know me, I started reading your blog post recently and I love the way you address issues.

I have been dating this great guy for two years now, everything’s going great and we really love each other.

Last weekend, his sister who introduced us let it slip that he’s planning on proposing before the year ends, she begged me not to tell him as it was a surprise from him.

Now here’s the problem, I am not ready for marriage, I just got this great job that requires much of my time, when I applied for the job I was asked if I was in any relationship which I replied No because It stated they needed single women, we both agreed on this so I did it with his permission.

Very soon my company will send me abroad for a year, to acquire some training on behalf of the company, things are finally working out for me and I don’t know if marriage won’t slow me down, I want to give this company at least three years so I can be promoted and do anything I like, be it marriage or kids, I don’t know if he has the patience to wait, how do I politely down turn his marriage proposal while making him understand the reason why without hurting him.

Thanks.

Talk2Bella

Honestly, from what you’ve written, Your Career is as important as it is with your ‎personal love life and as a Lady, no man in his right sense will wish to fall back on someone who is a liability, hence his reason for agreeing with you in taking up your new job. Not every man is as understanding as he is, that alone shows he truly wants you to be successful. You also postulated that things are going well for you right now, that's impressive and I’m happy for you.

A man who really loves his woman should have her best interests at heart, which includes career path as long as it doesn't affect your love life. He is a great guy just as you mentioned and you can't afford to lose him because of your career as it may be difficult for you to balance them both when work requires you travelling far away.

I suggest you relay to him about the new developments in your work and try to weigh his reactions because keeping it to yourself will only make things complicated. A marriage proposal doesn't translate to ‎you both getting married immediately, no. It's just another level up in your relationship together and I don't think work will constitute a barrier to the success of your union as you both have come a very long way.

The best move right now is to put your cards on the table first, assuring him that no matter what, you both will always strive through. I believe by so doing, he will be patient enough to propose at the right time and always stand by you through thick and thin‎.

Reply From Ikenna Ihekweazu {CuteHector}

Talk2Bella Team

http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/09/how-do-i-politely-turn-down-marriage.html

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Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Hadez(f): 10:24am On Sep 29, 2016

I will just tell him I have someone else I am planning my engagement with already undecided

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 10:36am On Sep 29, 2016

Hadez:
I will just tell him I have someone else I am planning my engagement with already

Really

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Hadez(f): 10:38am On Sep 29, 2016

Talk2Bella:

Really

If I am turning him Down already there is no need for formalities. Just give him an excuse that will make him stay away

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 10:50am On Sep 29, 2016

Hadez:

If I am turning him Down already there is no need for formalities. Just give him an excuse that will make him stay away

She didn't say she wants to breakup

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Hadez(f): 10:58am On Sep 29, 2016

Talk2Bella:

She didn't say she wants to breakup

Then why turning down his marriage proposal?

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Cope1(m): 11:16am On Sep 29, 2016

Make a decision u won't live to regret in future.
Just remember there are so many single ladies waiting for a man to say "hi" to them

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 11:41am On Sep 29, 2016

Hadez:

Then why turning down his marriage proposal?

Did you even read?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 11:41am On Sep 29, 2016

Cope1:
Make a decision u won't live to regret in future.
Just remember there are so many single ladies waiting for a man to say "hi" to them

Indeed

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Hadez(f): 11:44am On Sep 29, 2016

Talk2Bella:

Did you even read?

You caught me. No I didn't grin

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by krissconnect(m): 11:46am On Sep 29, 2016

Just tell him you're HIV and aids positive. He'll be the one to turn off the proposal self.

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by jashar(f): 11:49am On Sep 29, 2016

In my humble opinion, a great job/career can wait, but a good man, who can find?

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Nobody: 11:49am On Sep 29, 2016

awwww i just touch the tip of my prenis now .... I didn't know It Is very sensible

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by bamisepeters(m): 12:17pm On Sep 29, 2016

Nice one. She just need to keep him informed on the issue as they both agreed from Inception, that should not stop her from accepting the proposal, if she reject the proposal that will be a huge blow and issues will start arising. He must be carried along on the issue at work without missing any bit no matter how tiny it is.

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Nobody: 12:46pm On Sep 29, 2016

In my opinion, career is a top priority more than anything else

.....I will advice her to focus on her career first before thinking of marriage because career is guaranteed while marriage is never guaranteed....unless her boyfriend is willing to be patient enough and wait for her until she finally settles in her career. Imagine if her boyfriend leave her for another lady after she's sacrificed her career sad

....is that not fvcked up?!

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 1:25pm On Sep 29, 2016

JEZUZBOIY:
awwww i just touch the tip of my prenis now .... I didn't know It Is very sensible

really

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 1:26pm On Sep 29, 2016

krissconnect:
Just tell him you're HIV and aids positive. He'll be the one to turn off the proposal self.

indeed

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 1:27pm On Sep 29, 2016

jashar:
In my humble opinion, a great job/career can wait, but a good man, who can find?

this is a huge lie from the pits of hell

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 1:28pm On Sep 29, 2016

bamisepeters:
Nice one. She just need to keep him informed on the issue as they both agreed from Inception, that should not stop her from accepting the proposal, if she reject the proposal that will be a huge blow and issues will start arising. He must be carried along on the issue at work without missing any bit no matter how tiny it is.

what if she accepts the proposal and he wants to wed ASAP?

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 1:29pm On Sep 29, 2016

ItsQuinn:
In my opinion, career is a top priority more than anything else .....I will advice her to focus on her career first before thinking of marriage because career is guaranteed while marriage is never guaranteed....unless her boyfriend is willing to be patient enough and wait for her until she finally settles in her career. Imagine if her boyfriend leave her for another lady after she's sacrificed her career ....is that not fvcked up?!

very bleeped up but I don't think he's gonna, accepting the proposal is a good idea only if they can wait before the actual wedding and kids, I know a couple who it's working for right now, the lady works in a bank

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 1:30pm On Sep 29, 2016

Cutehector wink

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by bamisepeters(m): 1:35pm On Sep 29, 2016

Talk2Bella:

what if she accepts the proposal and he wants to wed ASAP?

all still boils down to carrying him along, they took the decision together from the start, he must be fully involved in all decision.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by jashar(f): 1:55pm On Sep 29, 2016

Talk2Bella:

this is a huge lie from the pits of hell

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by samuelUMOH(m): 2:00pm On Sep 29, 2016

Hadez:
I will just tell him I have someone else I am planning my engagement with already

Then you loose and weep later such men are scarce to come by .Abundance of boyfriend around but scarcity of husbands! You can't marry your career you need to balance the two .Most successful single ladies saying I don't need a man ,in their secrets chamber they are weeping and lamenting going through internal depression .

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by CuteMorriz: 2:04pm On Sep 29, 2016

jashar:

hello jashar...are you in lagos?

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by samuelUMOH(m): 2:05pm On Sep 29, 2016

Talk2Bella:

this is a huge lie from the pits of hell

This is not a lie the age of the lady is crucial .For instance if she is 30plus or going close to menopause will you say career comes first?

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 2:11pm On Sep 29, 2016

samuelUMOH:
This is not a lie the age of the lady is crucial .For instance if she is 30plus or going close to menopause will you say career comes first?

Why does age matter? If she feels it's the right time to pursue her carry why let marriage detour her?

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 2:13pm On Sep 29, 2016

bamisepeters:
all still boils down to carrying him along, they took the decision together from the start, he must be fully involved in all decision.

True

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Talk2Bella(f): 2:15pm On Sep 29, 2016

samuelUMOH:
Then you loose and weep later such men are scarce to come by .Abundance of boyfriend around but scarcity of husbands! You can't marry your career you need to balance the two .Most successful single ladies saying I don't need a man ,in their secrets chamber they are weeping and lamenting going through internal depression .

How you take know angry

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by motherfucker: 2:48pm On Sep 29, 2016

Hadez:

Then why turning down his marriage proposal?

do you lack comprehension problem?

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by motherfucker: 2:50pm On Sep 29, 2016

ItsQuinn:
In my opinion, career is a top priority more than anything else .....I will advice her to focus on her career first before thinking of marriage because career is guaranteed while marriage is never guaranteed....unless her boyfriend is willing to be patient enough and wait for her until she finally settles in her career. Imagine if her boyfriend leave her for another lady after she's sacrificed her career ....is that not fvcked up?!

career is guaranteed? Hmmm... I think Millions of Nigerians that have lost their jobs in the last few months have been lied to.

Re: How Do I Politely Turn Down A Marriage Proposal by Nobody: 4:35pm On Sep 29, 2016

Talk2Bella:

very bleeped up but I don't think he's gonna, accepting the proposal is a good idea only if they can wait before the actual wedding and kids, I know a couple who it's working for right now, the lady works in a bank

I mean if he can wait before the actual wedding and kids until she's settled in her career then she can go for it

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