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Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nuahall2k14(m): 3:55pm On Oct 05, 2016
Mother-in-laws are not all mean... D ladies are scared because they know mother-in-laws are women like them so can see through any veil. Incase they are pretending.. They can spot out their attitudes.ladies know each oda well especially older ladies and younger ones which is d case.

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by baum1: 3:55pm On Oct 05, 2016
Empiree:
Because it is a threat to them. They feel their son would focus 90% of his time on her (daughter-in-law) and, or, the wife would take control of him. Indeed, to certain extent, it is true that some men do neglect their mothers. They just need to take it easy. They feel their territory is trampled. Same happens to lions. Male lion feels threatened if another male is sighted in his territory.

Anyways, our mother-in-laws need to take it easy. It is not always like that.

Guy, you don live for den before? How u take know? Abi you study lioneeze?

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by henriche(m): 3:56pm On Oct 05, 2016
Full mmsome not all.

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by baum1: 3:56pm On Oct 05, 2016
Nuahall2k14:
Mother-in-laws are not all mean... D ladies are scared because they know mother-in-laws are women like them so can see through any veil. Incase they are pretending.. They can spot out their attitudes.ladies know each oda well especially older ladies and younger ones which is d case.

Wow, fantastic perspective.

I wish people would understand this fresh perspective. You are right bro
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 3:56pm On Oct 05, 2016
A question since the inception of this forum and one chiefly asked by females.
The truth is this is a stereotype mostly perpetrated by Nollywood. It happens quite alright but not rampant as home videos make it seem.
Another point to make is the woman's(mother in law) level of education and state of employment. An illiterate housewife who tended to her child primarily from infancy to near-adulthood would go green with envy seeing her son treated out of the norm by his wife however a fairly educated career minded female would understand it's only a stage of life and sometimes read books to better understand how to handle the phase.
With those mentioned keep in mind everyone is an individual; people may react the same way to an event but some to a lesser degree than others. Some women can naturally cope with their son tending to his personal household while to some others their whole word has ended.

With this verbose explanation it wouldn't surprise me to see this same topic hit frontpage again before the year ends.

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by bettercreature(m): 3:57pm On Oct 05, 2016
JUSTbuchi:
Finally it did make front page cheesy


My aunt always gives praise to God that her mother in-law is no longer alive grin grin
That is not funny! Remember you will also become parent at a point in life

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by sucess001(m): 3:59pm On Oct 05, 2016
its the other way around...most daughter in laws are devils....

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Jesusbabygirl(f): 4:00pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.
While I am inclined to agree with you, I beg to differ a little...... Seriously, the sort of mindset some of us (girls) grow up with affect a lot of things and certainly lands us in families where the mother is mean. Growing up, I always believed my mother-in-law will love me and be a nice woman and truly, though she is not a saint and I have only been married for a few months, my mother-in-law has been wonderful. I also treat her like a mother, not an in-law and she reciprocates. Sometimes, girls are also mean to their own sisters-in-law (brothers' wives) and they expect opposite treatment. People, law of karma is real!.'Do unto others what you want them to do to you'.

However, if none of these apply to you, you need 'creative ways' of getting your mother-in-law's love.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by baum1: 4:00pm On Oct 05, 2016
orlahtohbadt:
First of, its Mothers-in-law
Then from my opinion, i think they are scared of someone loving their son more than they do or they have done... I don't think its only a Nigerian thing tho', as i see it also in American movies, a lot of American movies at that... And i dont think Americans act what they dont see happen... My opinion tho like i said earlier

Fine point, bro.

Unfortunately, what you have said is not restricted to mother in laws or to mariages alone. It happens in all spheres of life. It is called preserving self-glorification and the fear of the unknown..Something we all need work with God to rid us off.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Laredojohn(m): 4:01pm On Oct 05, 2016
It's not a general rule, not all mother inlaws display this attitude, my mum pampers my brothers wife..and sure she would do same for mine too when I get married...
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Donald7610: 4:02pm On Oct 05, 2016
You will get the reward of your deeds to your MOTHER IN LAW
You daughter in law await you
May even wish you dead before she marry your son too
No be curse
Nemesis
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Empiree: 4:04pm On Oct 05, 2016
baum1:


Guy, you don live for den before? How u take know? Abi you study lioneeze?

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by AreaFada2: 4:04pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
Neither of the above mentioned.
Their foreign counterparts aren't as mean as our Nigerian mother-inlaws are.
You're referring me to a movie of a mean mother in-law like i haven't seen one.
They're more liberal and understand what space means in a marriage.

Some foreign mother-in-laws are even worse.

My ex-babe's mother opposed her son's marriage to a very nice lady. She saw her as a foreigner. Even though her Jewish ancestors have lived across Europe for over 1,500 years and in this particular Western country for about 500 years! grin cheesy

A nice pretty professional lady. But both were in love. Even after 2 kids and about 10 years together, the mother-in-law still never warmed up to her DIL.
In the West, mother in law jokes are a favourite among men in the pub/drinking joints. Na today?

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by ascend: 4:11pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.

you just dey your house dey do wetin i no no. where you for do the research. do you know what is 80%?

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Afam4eva(m): 4:13pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.
The problem is not with just Mother-In-laws only. It's a female problem generally. Women tend to be jealous of each other and will stop at nothing to prove to their fellow female folk that they're better especially when at an advantageous position. Some Daughter Inlaws are also guilty of treating their MILs badly.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:13pm On Oct 05, 2016
Empiree:
Because it is a threat to them. They feel their son would focus 90% of his time on her (daughter-in-law) and, or, the wife would take control of him. Indeed, to certain extent, it is true that some men do neglect their mothers. They just need to take it easy. They feel their territory is trampled. Same happens to lions. Male lion feels threatened if another male is sighted in his territory.

Anyways, our mother-in-laws need to take it easy. It is not always like that.
Nice one.
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:13pm On Oct 05, 2016
JUSTbuchi:
Finally it did make front page cheesy


My aunt always gives praise to God that her mother in-law is no longer alive grin grin
I hope u won't complain wen her own daughter in-law celebrate her not being alive

Don't forget d harvest is usually greater than the seed

People and reckless words

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Tamakay(m): 4:14pm On Oct 05, 2016
Which mother in-law will keep quite when these days girls think in between their legs. Imagine, coming to see ur would-be mother in law, ur have 4 earings d fifth one far up above the earlub, then a leg chain and worst of it all, they wear leggis that will show that barb-like thing brazenly and u expect ur mother in-law to keep cool. No way!
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:15pm On Oct 05, 2016
Afam4eva:

The problem is not with just Mother-In-laws only. It's a female problem generally. Women tend to be jealous of each other and will stop at nothing to prove to their fellow female folk that they're better especially when at an advantageous position. Some Daughter Inlaws are also guilty of treating their MILs badly.
In some situations is really not about "jealousy", you just find a good wife being maltreated by her mother in-law.
It's annoying.

5 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:17pm On Oct 05, 2016
Tamakay:
Which mother in-law will keep quite when these days girls think in between their legs. Imagine, coming to see ur would-be mother in law, ur have 4 earings d fifth one far up above the earlub, then a leg chain and worst of it all, they wear leggis that will show that barb-like thing brazenly and u expect ur mother in-law to keep cool. No way!
cheesy cheesy But they do dress decently while meeting the man's parents na.
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by sweetcocoa(f): 4:19pm On Oct 05, 2016
OP, it not only happens in Nigeria but nigerian own is another thing entirely.

My take on the matter is that, it is a two way street as some DILs too are something else, I just really believe that no mother wants a bad wife for her son ergo, the kind of person you are, goes a long way in determining how your MIL treats you.

It's just like one girl somewhere(assuming my mum was still here) will say my mother is a bad MIL, I will just know she doesn't just like my mum ni.

Unless the MIL in question is a bad person who treats everyone like poo, then my sister, check yourself, if you are the only one having issues with her.

Ofcourse everyone has their faults but if only some young women will treat their MIL how they do their mum's and not like a stranger trying to steal their man, there'll a be lot more peace in various homes.

We have the two types of DILs in my family and believe me, I know the difference.
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:19pm On Oct 05, 2016
AreaFada2:


Some foreign mother-in-laws are even worse.

My ex-babe's mother opposed her son's marriage to a very nice lady. She saw her as a foreigner. Even though her Jewish ancestors have lived across Europe for over 1,500 years and in this particular Western country for about 500 years! grin cheesy

A nice pretty professional lady. But both were in love. Even after 2 kids and about 10 years together, the mother-in-law still never warmed up to her DIL.
In the West, mother in law jokes are a favourite among men in the pub/drinking joints. Na today?
They don't take it to the extreme like is done here, and like i said earlier "they are more liberal".

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Afam4eva(m): 4:20pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
In some situations is really not about "jealousy", you just find a good wife being maltreated by her mother in-law.
It's annoying.
I doubt that very much. It's just how you see it from your vantage point. I believe a MIL whether rightly or wrongly has a reason she thinks is good enough to maltreat her DIL.
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by gabicon: 4:22pm On Oct 05, 2016
I think the reason for mother in-law n wife debacle is that men could be such babies and they sometimes make foolish decisions, a mother is always there to curtail these excesses but she doesn't trust that a young wife will do same. Li

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Lilimax(f): 4:24pm On Oct 05, 2016
I know that one day I will become a mother in-law by God's grace.

***However, my experience with my mother -in-law is not palatable at all embarassed***

1 Like

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by sweetcocoa(f): 4:24pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
In some situations is really not about "jealousy", you just find a good wife being maltreated by her mother in-law.
It's annoying.
My sister, I don't know your definition of "good wife" but if it involves being nice to please only your husband, neglecting his folks, then that's not a good wife o, unless your MIL kicked against your marriage for a particular reason, then she can't just maltreat you for no reason.
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Pidggin(f): 4:26pm On Oct 05, 2016
This is a classic case@pix

Women pretend a lot. They marry men who don't love them and they end up living a pretentious life. They endure pain in their marriages with the hope that one day may be he will change. Then when he doesn't they substitute their sons for the intimacy with a man which they missed

Is this woman clinging to her son or husband?

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by HomeOfMe(f): 4:26pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.
Yes mothers are very protective of their sons;just like mother hen. But I'm lucky to have a very good and understanding mother-in-law. When I had a delay getting pregnant,five years after I had a set of twin boys,she was even more supportive than my own mother despite that I'm not even a yoruba by origin. It got to a point my husband became jealous of my closeness with his mom. I'm one of the few lucky ones I guess.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by bukatyne(f): 4:27pm On Oct 05, 2016
Acidosis:

I agree 100%



This wan we now agree on many many issues. Is that a sign??


grin

Sign of a victory?
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by gabicon: 4:27pm On Oct 05, 2016
I think the reason for mother in-law n wife debacle is that men could be such babies and they sometimes make foolish decisions, a mother is always there to curtail these excesses but she doesn't trust that a young wife will do same. A mother is the centre of her son's world and she is afraid of being thrown out but they loose the insight that the world is big enough for two. Life has taught me that the more you let go the more control you can have.
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by SycophanticGoat: 4:28pm On Oct 05, 2016
Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.

Na still una wey be girls dey grow into the mother in law.. undecided

Anyway, that's none of my business. My business is, why is it that over 90% of Nigerian wives treat house boys and girls terribly, as if they aren't humans but treat their children as if they're the best in the world, even if the children are terrible set of human beings? undecided

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:30pm On Oct 05, 2016
orlahtohbadt:
First of, its Mothers-in-law
Then from my opinion, i think they are scared of someone loving their son more than they do or they have done... I don't think its only a Nigerian thing tho', as i see it also in American movies, a lot of American movies at that... And i dont think Americans act what they dont see happen... My opinion tho like i said earlier
Thanks for the correction.
At the bolded, there's no need for them to be scared of that, to an extent they seem confuse and if another woman maltreat their daughters in same manner they will be eager to fight.

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