I'm a victim. All my life, I lived my parents life. I couldn't live my life. Talks like "you will be a pastor when you grow up" made life tiresome for me. I mean, at the age of 8, I was already being forced to believe I would be a pastor. I wanted to read law or theatre arts. I was threatened "lawyers and actors would end up in hell". My big break came when Ieft home last 2yrs. I discovered myself and now I thank God. I fell better now.

eosigwe:
I'm a victim. All my life, I lived my parents life. I couldn't live my life. Talks like "you will be a pastor when you grow up" made life tiresome for me. I mean, at the age of 8, I was already being forced to believe I would be a pastor. I wanted to read law or theatre arts. I was threatened "lawyers and actors would end up in hell". My big break came when Ieft home last 2yrs. I discovered myself and now I thank God. I fell better now.

Honestly, you escaped to Madagascar lol.. and I believe thats why most pastors kids will always run to another state to study just to get away from all forms of scrutiny,
Being a pastor is a calling no be force.

I didn't realize there are many pastors kids on nairaland, it's well o but regardless of what happened, Heaven is still real, for every one shall give account of their works. Make your relationship with christ count.

Gracious10:


Honestly, you escaped to Madagascar lol.. and I believe thats why most pastors kids will always run to another state to study just to get away from all forms of scrutiny,
Being a pastor is a calling no be force.

I didn't realize there are many pastors kids on nairaland, it's well o but regardless of what happened, Heaven is still real, for every one shall give account of their works. Make your relationship with christ count.

I haven't abandoned Christ. Infact, I became more closer with Christ. I got to knew that serving God is not hard like I was forced to believe. You know the thing about train up a child in the ways of the Lord and when he grows he won't depart? it worked in my life though. And when I left home, I had opportunity to read lots of books and mix with people.I think right now I can blend religion, business and pleasure together without hurting anyone or my conscience

eosigwe:
I'm a victim. All my life, I lived my parents life. I couldn't live my life. Talks like "you will be a pastor when you grow up" made life tiresome for me. I mean, at the age of 8, I was already being forced to believe I would be a pastor. I wanted to read law or theatre arts. I was threatened "lawyers and actors would end up in hell". My big break came when Ieft home last 2yrs. I discovered myself and now I thank God. I fell better now.

As for me, my problems started when my siblings became pastors and evangelist and my parents were expecting my "calling". I became a bad child tho I'm happy with my decision.

makydebbie:
As for me, my problems started when my siblings became pastors and evangelist and my parents were expecting my "calling". I became a bad child tho I'm happy with my decision.

of course you should be happy. Nobody should determine your happiness. It's a serious mistake I made. I believe everybody has his/her relationship with God. If you have a calling, you would know. if you don't have, you would know. That you don't have that calling doesn't mean you have lost relationship with God. It's a lie. As Ebuka as I am, the grace and mercy is sufficient for me that I can approach His throne and cry Abba-father. Infact being a pastors child is not a certificate that you would know God. People should know that. And pastors children should free themselves from unnecessary pressures biko.

Hmn, pastors and their children... I weep as the devil uses every avenue to make us think that it is easy to raise a child up in a godly way. Most spiritual leaders missed it in the Bible when it has to do with moral standard of their children, Aaron's children ministered strange fire and were destroyed, Eli's children became children of Belial because they didn't heed to their father's instruction... even Samuel's children couldn't fit their father's shoes hence the Israelite's cried for need for a king. So, when you see a pastor that cages, monitors or disciplines his children is for the case of posterity. l am a pastor's child, I have grown to be a pastor because I found out that no other way to enjoy in this life that to live a life that pleases God. How will I allow my children go into secular music when unclothedness and nudity is the order of the day. Moral decadence has derailed so many believers because they want to be themselves. I have chosen the path of righteousness, I wish my children will serve God better than I am

I love this thread.... I'm spotting many members of APC (Association of Pastors Children ). I also have some things to contribute... I''ll be right back.

I love this thread.... I'm spotting many members of APC (Association of Pastors Children ). I also have some things to contribute... I''ll be right back.

Gracious10:


...but regardless of what happened, Heaven is still real, for every one shall give account of their works. Make your relationship with christ count.

Fantastic!! That's what matters the most.

@makydebbie, this is a fine write up. ..but excuse me please, why did you refer to these points as "challenges"? What's so challenging about these? I think you should rather have used the term "expectations" because these your points are more like expectations of the society concerning Pastors' children (as in, what people expect of them, which I don't really see as being so hard or challenging) and I think you should probably have captioned your write up in that direction, something like: "Some common expectations of our society concerning Pastors' children" or something like that. And in any case, the points you listed-which are very much on point, are actually expectations concerning people from christian homes or people that have christian parents and not necessarily Pastors children. That's certainly what I know!
2ndly, you listed out challenges now, I hope you will also come back to list out the good sides, benefits and blessings of being Pastors' children because those TOTALLY OUTWEIGH the so called challenges.
Finally, there's a very popular one that I thought I'll see among your points, which is:
90% of the people around you expect you to also be a pastor like your parent...without them even caring to know what God has instructed you or His plans for you.

tosyne2much:
he hehe.. So your popsy doesn't want you to be combed?

lols
whenever you are seen standing or just talking to the opposite sex,you're in trouble and u have a long explanation to do.

faithchubby93:

lols
whenever you are seen standing or just talking to the opposite sex,you're in trouble and u have a long explanation to do.

He doesn't want any dude to get under that skirt unknown to him that......

Make i shut up

EmmaFantastic:
@makydebbie, this is a fine write up. ..but excuse me please, why did you refer to these points as "challenges"? What's so challenging about these? I think you should rather have used the term "expectations" because these your points are more like expectations of the society concerning Pastors' children (as in, what people expect of them, which I don't really see as being so hard or challenging) and I think you should probably have captioned your write up in that direction, something like: "Some common expectations of our society concerning Pastors' children" or something like that. And in any case, the points you listed-which are very much on point, are actually expectations concerning people from christian homes or people that have christian parents and not necessarily Pastors children. That's certainly what I know!
2ndly, you listed out challenges now, I hope you will also come back to list out the good sides, benefits and blessings of being Pastors' children because those TOTALLY OUTWEIGH the so called challenges.
Finally, there's a very popular one that I thought I'll see among your points, which is:
90% of the people around you expect you to also be a pastor like your parent...without them even caring to know what God has instructed you or His plans for you.

Pardon my late reply, things came up.


Firstly, theses are challenges to us. The society expects perfection from us thereby putting undue pressure on us. When this happens, we make mistakes and try to be what we are not just to please the society. So yea you're right but also it is a big challenge to us.

Secondly, you mentioned benefits. I'll be a hypocrite to say there are no benefits ofcos there are. But it can't be compared to the challenges as I mentioned a few but the challenges are more than the benefits.


Thirdly, what you said is right. And it can be found in the third point. "Be like your dad comment/tag.

makydebbie:
Pardon my late reply, things came up.


Firstly, theses are challenges to us. The society expects perfection from us thereby putting undue pressure on us. When this happens, we make mistakes and try to be what we are not just to please the society. So yea you're right but also it is a big challenge to us.

Secondly, you mentioned benefits. I'll be a hypocrite to say there are no benefits ofcos there are. But it can't be compared to the challenges as I mentioned a few but the challenges are more than the benefits.


Thirdly, what you said is right. And it can be found in the third point. "Be like your dad comment/tag.

I read your response since but couldn't immediately get back to you since, sorry for that...was busy in one of my "gardens", lol..."plucking money" .
Well, it's unfortunate that we are discussing online, I wish I was talking with you in person...offline. There are lots of things that one can't conveniently say here, and also, I would't like to write something too long.
First of all, I think I should let you know that my late dad was a Pastor, he passed on in 2003...died in a motor accident along with one of his friends. Though he was not a pastor by occupation-he was what we call "Associate Pastor" (that is Pastors that have regular work and not full time pastors) and he was resident Pastor of a branch of their church. I hardly tell people that I'm a pastor's son because I have many issues with churches today-I've got so pissed by all these garbage churches...what I see around now, is not what my dad used to do in his time when they even used to spend their money on the church and for members. Anyway, concerning the things you said, for the 1st one...I don't see those societal expectations as challeneges or pressure. You see, maybe you should know that those things you are calling pressure or challenges, actually made some other Pastors children like us to become the 1st class humans we are today. You see those things as challenges but they are actually a call to responsibility and help to keep us in line and check us from the wrong path. Do you know that some of the things you listed made many of us to excel in life? Because you know your background, you can't afford to mess up and you "stay in line". Most of the time that there's a problem, is when the "pastor pikin" is notorious and wants to follow "opposite path". Believe me, I happen to be close friends with many children of big ministers who are doing well in life and I found out a similar pattern like mine-their family background and the home they came from, helped to inspire them and keep them on the right path.
Then concerning your 2nd point, hmmmm...you are just a naughty girl for saying that . How can you say the challenges are more than the benefits? You are lucky we are talking online and not in person, I would have spanked you seriously for saying that . Don't you know what is called "grace"? Do you know the awesome grace that's on your life because of your father's works? Do you know the amount of blessing that are on your family because of that? (The bible says "the generation of the upright is blessed". Do you know the amount of goodwill, prayers, and good wishes for your dad and his family (which includes you) from people whose life your dad's works have touched? Well, maybe you are stil quiet young and maybe still at home with your parents, I can't tell, but that is it, when you step out fully into life out there, your endevors and career, and you start to see "unprecedented grace", lol, you'll certainly remember this convo with me on nairaland. Anyway, let me stop here, my epistle is getting too long. As I earlier said, there are lots of things that one can not say here, but I'll end by advising you that as you've been "weathering the storm" (as you see it), and braving the challenges, just keep it up leaning on God's grace. Someday you'll realise like some of us, that those things were not really challenges but actually a blessing in disguise, helping you to stay and act right. God bless you dear.

Laveda:
That's to say a pastor's child is expected to be perfect.

Its actually the opposite these days, they are always tied down, and any little opportunity they find, they get blown out and do things one didn't even expect from them.

There's nothing sweet as being you not minding what the next person has got to say.

Sometimes its not easy, you just have to please everyone cause people look up to your dad

Nice thread hon.

Please everyone? How exactly is that possible again?

Papikush:

As a mater if fact, I got disvirgined by a pastor's daughter...she took away my precious gift. Upon how I was saying STOP, STOP, STOP.

Wait what?!?!

tosyne2much:
Yes I think I can relate to this because I'm the son of a pastor.. Let me add mine

7. Restrictions from Sex

Pressure are usually mounted on pastor's children on abstinence from premarital sex. They are usually ridiculed by the society each time they're spotted with the opposite sex. Sometimes, their parents will always sit them down ringing to their ears the spiritual consequences of pre-marital sex and the benefits of keeping one's virginity till wedding night. Most times, my dad monitors me so much that each time a lady visits me, he will keep parading my room for no good reason just to monitor whether I will comb the girl or not

Baba which kind comb you be, tail comb abi ivory comb? So you are a Pastor pikin

Defaramade:
Baba which kind comb you be, tail comb abi ivory comb? So you are a Pastor pikin

hahahaha

makydebbie:
Proverbs 22:6...Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.


We all know this scripture and know that parenthood is no easy job. But everyone says, "what better environment is there to train up a child than in a pastor's home" right?
Or does growing up under a dad as a pastor guarantee a child's future on the right path?


Let's look at the challenges faced by pastor's kids which makes it not so rosy for kids growing up under clergymen's/religious leaders roof.



(1) Pastor's kids face the challenge of living up to the good boy/girl tag: As a pastor's child, I can relate to this. Eyes are always on you as a pastor's kid, to always never go wrong. No mistake is expected of you. In school, you're supposed to be different from all other kids and not to play much, joke around with friends or fail to submit assignments on time.


(2)Pressure:- Growing up, there was always this "pressure" that goes with you being the son or daughter of the renowned pastor in town. Even when faced with physical opposition like guys or girls who wanna beat 'us' up, people think that we should not fight but just meekly get beaten and mauled so badly. The bible says when hit we should turn the other cheek right?


(3)Pastors kids and the "be like your dad" comment or tag:-Everywhere you go as a pastor's kid, you always get the reminder that there's a standard you ought to live up to. And that standard in the eyes of people is always your dad or mom who are ministers. Every little thing you do, is a chance for them to say, "you're just like your dad" or if you make a little mistake, "you should be like your dad or mom". They always expect perfection.

In this age, we have come to know that everyone has a path and a destiny from everyone else including parents. Its really frustrating for a pastor's kid to always hear himself/herself being measured with his/her "pastor's" dad.
This is the reason why many of them rebel and go on to "live the life" they feel will make them different from their dads. In most cases, the kids end up destroying themselves.


(4) Pastor's kids and academics:- Always and again, there is always the notion that a pastor's kids shouldn't fail. People say stuffs like, "his father is the general overseer of the states biggest church". He heals the sick, raise the dead and makes the lame walk. If such a child is not shown the necessary support by his "pastor's" dad, or any given attention as regards helping him do well academically, then forget it. He won't fly academically. Not even dad's miracles will make it work.

(5) Pastor's kids and career choice:-As the son or daughter of a pastor, its almost like a taboo to find yourself in some professions. Which may be where one's talents lie. For example some pastors won't let their kids study law, citing some mundane remark like "lawyers are mostly liars".
And most pastors kick against their children going into the music industry. Restricting the child is robbing the world of another gem that would impart the world positively.


(6)Pastor's children and overall parenting:- It is no longer a secret that pastor's homes churn out "clinically depressed kids" because of bad parenting or "parenting negligence". This is so because, a lot of pastors dedicate so much time to their pastorial ministry forgetting that a trully functional church, begins from a truly happy and functional home.
These kids grow up to be so far apart in relationship from their pastors parent. And even end up hating them.

These are some of the many heart wrenching challenges faced by pastor's kids. On the whole, its not a bed of roses being a pastor's kid.


Original writer: Makydebbie

if you ever need succour, you know where to find me.

Topic should be biggest challenges........ Because you outlined more than one challenges

So will you say you are living like this as expected, is not really easy though.. ....i have friends in this categories

makydebbie:
As for me, my problems started when my siblings became pastors and evangelist and my parents were expecting my "calling". I became a bad child tho I'm happy with my decision.

Lol bad child indeed

How about if your dad is a founder or general overseer of a church. You fit still leave your life the way you want?
Maybe ona life no rhyme. You no be that kain church person but ur papa dey feel like people go dey question am

Ayibs0000:
How about if your dad is a founder or general overseer of a church. You fit still leave your life the way you want?
Maybe ona life no rhyme. You no be that kain church person but ur papa dey feel like people go dey question am

Omor I go still live my life normally. My dad is also a founder but I don't even go to church.... Everyone has their life to live