posakosa:

these factors SHOULD be part of the WHOLE picture----  None of these factors shouldn't be the ONLY decisive factor. It shouldn't be

It should be

Job
Education
Beauty
Compatibility  <a package>

i totally agree with you, i think the time has come for the man to make women submit applications and we will scrutinize like it is a job interview . . . . that was a joke, just in case you dont know, but i agree with you, it is a total package.

stillwater:

When she understands what marriage entails. A woman doesn't need a university degree to manage a family. Although, I'll indulge women to aim high in education, a degree is not synonymous to literacy. I think if she has a good family background most things will fall into place.

very very true, but she needs something that will be able to get her a job, if needs be, she needs something to run a biz with, if needs be, and she needs something to be able to stand firm if the husband wants her to do something against her being.

^^^^^ no actually--- Ive met some jewish women here who  have to fill out applications for the rich men they would like to marry. Its more like a "matchmaking system"  


They have to pass the educational part of the application, and then they take and must pass a psychological exam.

These women are marry for money and love BUT they MUST fill out an application---- I met the owner of the company a while back----- she said that they do this because the RICH men don't have the time to go out there to look for a "good wife" because they are busy with their businesses.

1. Must pass educational requirement
2. Write an essay
3. In-person interview <which is recorded>
4. All this information is sent to the client

--------- its interesting sha

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

I think my post was deleted.

The question is   "CAN ANYONE BE READY FOR MARRIAGE?"

No matter how prepared u are, no matter how mature in what ever form your maturity comes, one is never ready for that thing called marriage.

we all have an idea of when we would like to get married, not necessarily cos we are ready but its what we want.

Sometimes i wonder what does it take to be ready for marriage

obi123:

The question is   "CAN ANYONE BE READY FOR MARRIAGE?"

No matter how prepared u are, no matter how matured in what ever form your maturity comes, one is never ready for that thing called marriage.

we all have an idea of when we would like to get married, not necessarily cos we are ready but its what we want.

Sometimes i wonder what does it take to be ready for marriage
 

To answer the question, yes, come to think of it, a girl starts to prepare for motherhood and wifehood from a tender age, like when they playing with dolls and serving tea and all that, that is all practising being a mother and being a wife, while a boy is busy playing soccer.
Most woman are ready and know what they wanted when they getting married, but most men dont.
Men just dress up and go to church and say the "I do" but reality sets in later for a man, and most of the times, it is always too late, and they have to just adjust.

Obi123 is right - I don't think anyone is EVER ready for marriage.  We have an idea of what we think marriage is about and what it will be like (usually based on the marriages we see around us).  The reality is very different.

Fhemmmy:

To answer the question, yes, come to think of it, a girl starts to prepare for motherhood and wifehood from a tender age, like when they playing with dolls and serving tea and all that, that is all practising being a mother and being a wife, while a boy is busy playing soccer.

There lies the irony; men are expected to be head of the house, but spend most of their childhood without responsibilities while girls are given responsibilities as soon as they can grip a broom!  Years ago at a meeting  I heard someone say, "ask a woman where her daughter is and she will tell you.  Ask her where her son is and she doesn't know".

Fhemmy:
Most woman are ready and know what they wanted when they getting married, but most men dont.
Men just dress up and go to church and say the "I do" but reality sets in later for a man, and most of the times, it is always too late, and they have to just adjust.

To be honest, I think most women like the idea of being married from an early age even if they don't understand the reality because it's expected that they marry.   God forbid if they were into all that romance stuff (films, Mills & Boons etc), then they seriously expect guys to be like those characters.  The attitude of some men, on the other hand, was like the football they played as a child; try and get around your opponents, score as many goals as you can and live off the adulation   

Get a man and woman like above together, you can only imagine what the relationship will be like.

Lol, i so much agree with you and respect your saying.
Women seems to wannna put the description of what they want in a machine and press the button, and the man of their dream pops out.
Ladies seems to forget that a man was a man before they met him, they always wanna change him into what they want, and yet they never discuss all that while they were dating.

That "I can change the man" thing NEVER works.  For the life of me I don't know why women still insist on doing it, the only conclusion I can come to is that is something in-built in women.  Women often ignore all those red flags that say "STAY AWAY FROM THAT MAN!"

She thinks - falsely - that if she hangs in there she can change him because that is what good women do.  The "Helper" instinct then evolves into making excuses for his behaviour, putting up with being disrespected and abused for the sake of "love" to the point where she either is emotionally battered or becomes bitter.

None of us are perfect and no "Fhemmmy Machine" exists for churning out the perfect man   However the trust and security that exists in a good relationship will always bring out the best in us.  People will change naturally if they choose to, sometimes they can do it on their own, sometimes they can do it with support.  Some people you leave well alone!

obi123:

The question is   "CAN ANYONE BE READY FOR MARRIAGE?"

No matter how prepared u are, no matter how mature in what ever form your maturity comes, one is never ready for that thing called marriage.

we all have an idea of when we would like to get married, not necessarily cos we are ready but its what we want.

Sometimes i wonder what does it take to be ready for marriage 
 

Can anyone be ready for marriage ? Yes <Time prepares both men and women>

Can anyone be ready for the challenges of marriage ? But I say can any be ready for the challenges of tomorrow ? Who is to say what tomorrow holds.


To me, there is no such thing as maturity when it comes to the matters of the heart. But I do believe that MEN  can become ready for marriage and ready to be responsible for this family---- GONE ARE THE DAYS THAT THE MAN is the ONLY head of the household----- more and more families and people realize that PARTNERSHIP allows for more maturity and respect amongst both partners.


TIME---- people grow, and as they get older, they become more responsible. Unless, this particular man or woman has USELESS parents.

posakosa:


Can anyone be ready for marriage ? Yes <Time prepares both men and women>

Can anyone be ready for the challenges of marriage ? But I say can any be ready for the challenges of tomorrow ? Who is to say what tomorrow holds.


To me, there is no such thing as maturity when it comes to the matters of the heart. But I do believe that MEN  can become ready for marriage and ready to be responsible for this family---- GONE ARE THE DAYS THAT THE MAN is the ONLY head of the household----- more and more families and people realize that PARTNERSHIP allows for more maturity and respect amongst both partners.


TIME---- people grow, and as they get older, they become more responsible. Unless, this particular man or woman has USELESS parents.

spot on

how was the weekend ?

posakosa:

how was the weekend ?

mehnnnn 2 short as usual can't believe its Sunday alrdy lol
how you dey

i know----how time flies. im doing quite well----

@ Fhemmmy, you make sense but try to retool your words esp.noun-verb, that could get you a woman with jobs for a wife.LOL

@ Modupsie, with these men turning to death squad for politicians, lives are lost and wars too kill them, I think God had that in mind but man has scattered it. So u can't say every woman has a man waiting to pound her for marriage.I see so many young and old ladies ready to marry but guys are only ready to mingle.Don't wann hear the 'M' word.

ferdiii:

@ Modupsie, with these men turning to death squad for politicians, lives are lost and wars too kill them, I think God had that in mind but man has scattered it. So u can't say every woman has a man waiting to pound her for marriage.I see so many young and old ladies ready to marry but guys are only ready to mingle.Don't wann hear the 'M' word.

Ferdiii, it is so good to hear this coming from a man for a change!

ferdiii:

@ Fhemmmy, you make sense but try to retool your words esp.noun-verb, that could get you a woman with jobs for a wife.LOL

Thanx . . . . .English no be my first language. . . .

That is a good question. It is not according to how she may feel at the moment. It must be evaluated completely, because it can be a long haul. I would not want to marry a woman then out of the blue she decides that she want out of the marriage, or she feel that she met mr right at the shopping mall. I think that she may not really know.

The Question is, are the mothers preparing their little girls for such an occasion as marriage, or do they let the chips fall where they may? Everone need to be trained for such a large event.

vontez:

The Question is, are the mothers preparing their little girls for such an occasion as marriage, or do they let the chips fall where they may? [size=18pt]Everone need to be trained for such a large event.[/size]

That part is not for just the mothers, it is for the mothers and fathers to make sure the kids get all the training that are needed.

Ubbia5, I would like to ask you a question, are you married? and if so, tell me; did you encounter a situation that you was not prepared for. Marriage is not and easy thing to pull off.

vontez:

Ubbia5, I would like to ask you a question, are you married? and if so, tell me; did you encounter a situation that you was not prepared for. Marriage is not and easy thing to pull off.

u actually expected an answer to that question?

What would she have to do to make sure she is ready for marriage?

the ladies are the first ones to start complaining that they are clocking 25 and no man is comming

the moment you tell them to slow down with a guy that has a shady character/demeanor, they get defensive and start using cliche words like : its my life , am old enof, bad belle ,enemy of progress and stuff like that.

in the end, they will be the first to run off for divorce.

have we asked ourselves why our parents marriages worked out. divorces were unheard off then
(today women will say their olden counterparts were used as slaves in their homes, that they were subdued and stepped upon )
- thats crap

but today,

wot a sorry story,

divorce is the route out, tooo much cable and movies.

bloody femminists

kobikwelu:

the ladies are the first ones to start complaining that they are clocking 25 and no man is comming

the moment you tell them to slow down with a guy that has a shady character/demeanor, they get defensive and start using cliche words like : its my life , am old enof, bad belle ,enemy of progress and stuff like that.

in the end, they will be the first to run off for divorce.

have we asked ourselves why our parents marriages worked out. divorces were unheard off then
(today women will say their olden counterparts were used as slaves in their homes, that they were subdued and stepped upon )
- thats crap

but today,

wot a sorry story,

divorce is the route out, tooo much cable and movies.

bloody femminists

that is cos in those days, the wife no dey question the husband at all

One of the few theads on NL that has remained consistently interactive.

For me, she is ready when she knows what she wants. all other things are subsumed in that convinction.

vontez:

The Question is, are the mothers preparing their little girls for such an occasion as marriage, or do they let the chips fall where they may? Everone need to be trained for such a large event.

why did you leave the fathers out? or arent they also suppose to prepare their little boys for the institution of marriage?

~Sissy~:

why did you leave the fathers out? or arent they also suppose to prepare their little boys for the institution of marriage?

I thot as much too.
Cos it is the work of the man as much as it is that of the woman

Why generalize such a personal matter?

^^^ cos general is made of individuals