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Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 4:11am On Dec 02, 2009 |
If you must speed on the expressway this Christmas season, here are some hymns to sing along or play in a high volume as you drive along: (convert this into kilometres if necessary) At 45 mph sing: "God will take care of me" at 55 mph sing: "Guide me, O Thou Great Jehovah" at 65 mph sing: "Nearer my God to Thee" at 75 mph sing: "Nearer still nearer" at 85 mph sing "This world is not my home" at 95 mph sing: "Lord, 'am coming home" at 100 mph sing: "Precious memories" |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 3:24pm On Dec 05, 2009 |
"What am I supposed to do with this?" moaned a driver as the police handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the policeman retorted. "When you collect four of them you get a bicycle." |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by Image123(m): 5:46pm On Dec 05, 2009 |
Very funny posts. Olaadegbu, how you dey? |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 5:54pm On Dec 05, 2009 |
Image123: I dey o, in festive mood I hope you drive safely. |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:29pm On Dec 06, 2009 |
"The wheel was man's greatest invention . . . until he got behind it" -- Bill Ireland |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by Image123(m): 2:01pm On Dec 06, 2009 |
@Olaadegbu I drive at least safe enough to sing 'I'm coming home' lol |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 2:12pm On Dec 06, 2009 |
Image123: I beg slow down and sing another song. My song is sometimes between "Nearer my God to thee" and "Nearer still nearer" if you know what I mean. |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:32am On Dec 07, 2009 |
While on a long car journey, a couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The wife unfortunately forgot her sunglasses on the table, but didn't need them until they were back on the expressway (Highway). By then, they had to drive to the next junction before they could turn around. The husband whinged, moaned, murmured and complained how forgetful women are, this he did all the way back to the restaurant. When they finally arrived, as the wife stepped out of the car to look for her sunglasses, the husband said, "While you're in there, you may as well get my hat, too" |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by Image123(m): 12:16pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
Lets go for 'God will take care of me' this festive season. |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 12:24pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
Image123: Yes. But we can still sing "Guide me, O Thou Great Jehovah" |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 4:17pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
Hymns for Different Occupations during this festive season: Dentist: "Crown Him with many crowns" Contractors: "The church's one foundation" Obstetricians: "Come, labour on" Golfers: "There is a green hill far away" Politicians: "Standing on the promises" Librarians: "Let all mortal flesh keep silence" Lawyers: "In the hour of trial" Dry Cleaners: "O for a faith that will not shrink" Credit Card Users: "A charge to keep have I" Census Takers: "All people that on earth do well" Taxation Officers: "We give thee but thine own" Traffic Engineers: "Where cross the crowded ways of life" -- J. John and Mark Stibbe |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by SeanT21(f): 5:03pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
Hahah~~Interesting jokes. |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 5:36pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
SeanT21: Actually, serious jokes. What song will you sing while driving? |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by SeanT21(f): 5:47pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
It definitely wont be "lord, am comming home" cause it sounds like I am about to die any moment. I will take "Nearer my God to Thee". Anything to be nearer to God. |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 8:50pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
SeanT21: That means you have to do 65 mph on average speed, safe enough |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 2:00am On Dec 08, 2009 |
A couple drove several kilometres down a road, not saying a word. An earlier conversation had led to a big argument, neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a farm of cows and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked his wife, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws" -- J. John and Mark Stibbe 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 3:42pm On Dec 08, 2009 |
A conversation between a boastful American tourist (who did not drive, can't drive and would'nt drive) and a taxi driver. A bluffing Yankee was being shown the sights of London by a taxi driver on a Christmas holiday. "What is that structure over there?" asked the American. "That's the Tower of London, sir," replied the cab driver. "Did you know, we can put up buildings like that in two weeks," drawled the New Yorker. A little while later he said, "And what's that building we're passing right now?" "That's Buckingham Palace, sir, where the Queen lives." "Is that so?" said the yankee. "Do you know back in New York we could put a structure like that up within a week?" A few minutes later they were passing Westminster Abbey. The American asked again, "Hey cabbie, what's that building over there?" "I'm afraid I don't know, sir," replied the cab (taxi) driver. "It wasn't there this morning" -- J. John and Mark Stibbe 2 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 4:55am On Dec 09, 2009 |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 3:19pm On Dec 11, 2009 |
One wonders what hymn the wise men sang on their journey to Bethlehem since it took them many months to reach their destination. On their way they must have conversed, so let's see what would be the the top 7 things they said: The top 7 things overheard on the Wise men's journey to Bethlehem: 7. "Man, I'm starting to get a rush from this frankincense!" 6. "You guys ever eat camel meat? I hear it tastes like goat." 5. "You know, I used to go school with a girl called Beth Lehem." 4. "What kind of name is Balthazar anyhow? Phoenician?" 3. "Hey, does any of you know why MYRRH is spelt with a Y instead of a U?" 2. "Okay, whose camel just spat?" And the No. 1 thing overheard on the Wise Men's journey to Bethlehem was: 1. "All this staring at a star while riding a camel is making me woozy." -- J. John and Mark Stibbe |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:45pm On May 08, 2010 |
This present age seems more concerned about speed than direction.
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Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:55pm On May 08, 2010 |
Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church. |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 6:41pm On Dec 17, 2010 |
[img width=500 height=500]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/after-eden/20001218.gif[/img] |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 5:42am On Dec 21, 2010 |
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "How early were you doing the shopping?" "Before the store opened," answered the defendant. -- J. John and Mark Stibbe |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by SeanT21(f): 5:59am On Dec 21, 2010 |
^^^^LMAO!^^Pretty good! |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 5:02pm On Dec 21, 2010 |
More Than Christmas [img width=500 height=500]http://www.answersingenesis.org/assets/images/media/cartoons/after-eden/20041213.gif[/img] |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:18pm On Dec 22, 2010 |
Christmas puppy [flash=500,400] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA6zdtjgNDA?fs=1&hl=en_GB[/flash] |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:36pm On Dec 22, 2010 |
Retooning the Nativity [flash=500,400] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-4y5mK_o9E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&[/flash] |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 2:18am On Dec 24, 2010 |
God With Us - Matthew 1:23 Most religions, even some forms of Christianity, are about man trying to get to God, that somehow through his own efforts man might be elevated to where God is. But God knew that we could never get to Him on our own, so He came down to us, in the person of Jesus
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Re: Science Disproves Evolution by Azibalua(f): 11:13am On Dec 24, 2010 |
christ in you the hope of glory is what is now |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 3:20pm On Dec 24, 2010 |
Jesus is Watching You A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: "Jesus is watching you". He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself to take a Christmas break after the next big score, then flicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard: "Jesus is watching you." Totally rattled, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you just say that?" He hissed at the parrot. "Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are any way?" "Moses," Replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of silly people would name a parrot 'Moses'?" The bird promptly answered: "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'! 1 Like |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by OLAADEGBU(m): 5:15pm On Dec 24, 2010 |
What did Adam say to Eve at Christmas? |
Re: Science Disproves Evolution by Image123(m): 7:43pm On Dec 24, 2010 |
OLAADEGBU:LOLLYmas |
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