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Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by LaExpert: 10:57pm On Apr 14, 2017
He could break your head if he decides to get back at you, he's your elder brother. The fact that you fought him alone can make him have funny thoughts and plans towards you.

You seem very naive and stubborn and probably deserve that treatment from your Dad. Even though it may not be the best, your brother has mastered how to take the positives and be a better person...and you're being envious.

Apologise sincerely to your Dad and siblings, then focus on how to successfully graduate from school and be a better person.

6 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by peacesamuel94(m): 10:59pm On Apr 14, 2017
And you see that as an achievement? smh.

6 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by mecussey(m): 11:03pm On Apr 14, 2017
Acode:
Recently I got into a fight with my elder brother..nd I broke his nose..it was a very bad thing for me ..but its jst d end product of wat my dad has been planting inside of me

It all started THUS

My dad is a master comparer ..wen we wer younger ...
he wuld compare us (me nd my brothers) to anyone he deems fit even if dat someone is worst Dan us..

.comparisons like

*--.why are we not leading d youth choir in our church like d pastor's son
*--why can't i take d first position in my class like Camoru Omo Iya alata
*-- why cant I win d scholarship like lagbaja even if my school is not offering any

I could remember last two years..a relative came visiting..dis guy recently came back from Obodo oyibo..nd he was forming all single nd holy..

here comes my dad again..comparing us to him..saying d guy has gone to a foreign land nd he was successful all because he was holy nd he abstained from women..

nd all we do here is think and gist about women(we are 6 boys)..we didn't take it lightly wit him..but we let it slide.

.only to get invited to a party by dis holy obodo oyibo guy..nd we met him rocking d biggest ukwu we've ever seen..Chai!!..God punish devil

Back to my main reason for writing dis..
My dad ridiculed me so much with my brothers success.. he wuld use every opportunity to compare me nd him

my brother is a graduate nd works for a big tech company.. while i'm still a 300level student

The comparison got so bad I started hating my brother..not because he's already successful Dan me...but my dad rubs it on my face always..like I should jst graduate sharp sharp nd start working

long story short.... we fought nd I broke his nose
NOW MY QUESTION IS
I know my dad wants to motivate us with d comparisons
But is it ideal to motivate someone( brother.. friend..anyone) by comparing him to another person..

nd if ur a victim like me..talk ur story

U dey dull na, why u no compare the old man with his mates wey be ministers and presidents.

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Nobody: 11:22pm On Apr 14, 2017
Benekruku:
You broke his nose and couldn't shoot him with a gun after you did that?



You re a weakling.




As for your dad, since he is already old, You can use a pillow to suffocate him when he is sleeping


All your troubles will be dead in a short time if u strategise well
I hope your child suffocates you when you too get old
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by bejite: 11:22pm On Apr 14, 2017
Compare your dad with Dangote and watch how he feels. If he feels bad, tell that that's exactly how you guys feel when he does to you.

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by MrLekan95(m): 11:27pm On Apr 14, 2017
Uhhmmm...
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by micflo28(m): 11:28pm On Apr 14, 2017
Go mend fences with your brother, mend your brothers nose and come back. We are not savages here angry angry angry

3 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Chicent(m): 11:29pm On Apr 14, 2017
The truth is this our parents had different ways of bringing us up...... but none was the best. trust me......none!!!

its just left for you to go out in the world and get better and adjust then adapt when due. and for you to also chose how you want to train your own children.

make peace with your elder brother and stop or don't allow what your dad says or always say get to you.

2 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by onyii255(m): 11:37pm On Apr 14, 2017
MoltenMagma:

I hope your child suffocates you when you too get old

I think the guy u quoted was just being sarcastic..

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by HENRY940: 11:47pm On Apr 14, 2017
Your Dad needs serious prayers and fasting
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by idu1(m): 11:47pm On Apr 14, 2017
Acode bro, you know try at all.



Look for a way to settle with your brother please.

2 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by vinelli(m): 11:58pm On Apr 14, 2017
Ur dad shld go nd learn mind games 4rm Mourinho. Its totally wrong on ur father part cos he thinks he is motivating u guys buh he is secretly creating discord nd enmity btw u guys
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Nobody: 12:04am On Apr 15, 2017
Acode:
Recently I got into a fight with my elder brother..nd I broke his nose..it was a very bad thing for me ..but its jst d end product of wat my dad has been planting inside of me

It all started THUS

My dad is a master comparer ..wen we wer younger ...
he wuld compare us (me nd my brothers) to anyone he deems fit even if dat someone is worst Dan us..

.comparisons like

*--.why are we not leading d youth choir in our church like d pastor's son
*--why can't i take d first position in my class like Camoru Omo Iya alata
*-- why cant I win d scholarship like lagbaja even if my school is not offering any

I could remember last two years..a relative came visiting..dis guy recently came back from Obodo oyibo..nd he was forming all single nd holy..

here comes my dad again..comparing us to him..saying d guy has gone to a foreign land nd he was successful all because he was holy nd he abstained from women..

nd all we do here is think and gist about women(we are 6 boys)..we didn't take it lightly wit him..but we let it slide.

.only to get invited to a party by dis holy obodo oyibo guy..nd we met him rocking d biggest ukwu we've ever seen..Chai!!..God punish devil

Back to my main reason for writing dis..
My dad ridiculed me so much with my brothers success.. he wuld use every opportunity to compare me nd him

my brother is a graduate nd works for a big tech company.. while i'm still a 300level student

The comparison got so bad I started hating my brother..not because he's already successful Dan me...but my dad rubs it on my face always..like I should jst graduate sharp sharp nd start working

long story short.... we fought nd I broke his nose
NOW MY QUESTION IS
I know my dad wants to motivate us with d comparisons
But is it ideal to motivate someone( brother.. friend..anyone) by comparing him to another person..

nd if ur a victim like me..talk ur story

Alex your bro just reported you, men watch your back, they are coming.

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by YelloweWest: 12:29am On Apr 15, 2017
Brag to ur dad that u broke your elder brother's nose the next time he compares the two of u. At least u achieved that. undecided

Foolish fool. No wonder your papa dey abuse u. Black sheep

4 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by YelloweWest: 12:31am On Apr 15, 2017
Dreamwaker:


Alex your bro just reported you, men watch your back, they are coming.
U seem to know the op. Is he really as foolish as he sounds?

4 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by jaxxy(m): 12:38am On Apr 15, 2017
Acode:
Recently I got into a fight with my elder brother..nd I broke his nose..it was a very bad thing for me ..but its jst d end product of wat my dad has been planting inside of me

It all started THUS

My dad is a master comparer ..wen we wer younger ...
he wuld compare us (me nd my brothers) to anyone he deems fit even if dat someone is worst Dan us..

.comparisons like

*--.why are we not leading d youth choir in our church like d pastor's son
*--why can't i take d first position in my class like Camoru Omo Iya alata
*-- why cant I win d scholarship like lagbaja even if my school is not offering any

I could remember last two years..a relative came visiting..dis guy recently came back from Obodo oyibo..nd he was forming all single nd holy..

here comes my dad again..comparing us to him..saying d guy has gone to a foreign land nd he was successful all because he was holy nd he abstained from women..

nd all we do here is think and gist about women(we are 6 boys)..we didn't take it lightly wit him..but we let it slide.

.only to get invited to a party by dis holy obodo oyibo guy..nd we met him rocking d biggest ukwu we've ever seen..Chai!!..God punish devil

Back to my main reason for writing dis..
My dad ridiculed me so much with my brothers success.. he wuld use every opportunity to compare me nd him

my brother is a graduate nd works for a big tech company.. while i'm still a 300level student

The comparison got so bad I started hating my brother..not because he's already successful Dan me...but my dad rubs it on my face always..like I should jst graduate sharp sharp nd start working

long story short.... we fought nd I broke his nose
NOW MY QUESTION IS
I know my dad wants to motivate us with d comparisons
But is it ideal to motivate someone( brother.. friend..anyone) by comparing him to another person..

nd if ur a victim like me..talk ur story

U have to never let negative words move by whomever be it compraisim or outright degradation. Believe in urself 101% and work towards it.

I hv actually been compared b4 and on an occasion it got so bad a neighbor frnd heard d words and told me wat my mum said can bring enemity between me and my broda. I told him yh i know dat very well bt I can't let that happen cos i know beta than that. She didn't say it out of bad intent bt maybe out of anger cos im kinda sturborn bt wiser than all that so keep calm and face wats b4 u. They compare cos dey don't know the best way to go about their advice i think.
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by oluwakayd: 1:47am On Apr 15, 2017
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Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by sisisioge: 1:50am On Apr 15, 2017
They dare not bring that on in my family otherwise na envy go kill me. I'm older, my lil sis is more successful...in fact, she's taller and bigger than me sef. So doing the comparison thing would have killed my simple me a gazillion years ago embarassed

I think its indeed unhealthy. The only time its OK is where it's a simple armless comparison like:

-Pls eat like your sister is doing right now...for children where one doesn't eat until several drama goes down.
Etc.

2 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Berbierklaus(f): 1:57am On Apr 15, 2017
Cajetanspeaks:
If I were to be your elder brother, you would not be alive to write this rubbish.
So you will kill your blood brother because he broke your nose? shocked pray tell what will you then do to outsiders?

Oshey killer the beast,stonecold the killer.
I carry Beyonce hand for you
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Berbierklaus(f): 1:58am On Apr 15, 2017
Cajetanspeaks:
You fought your elder brother and broke his nose and you are proud of it. If I were to be your elder brother l will kill you. Nobody can even dare fight me not to talk of injuring me.
This one will kill his brother shocked
I'm sure you have killed a lot of people to be able to openly say this
Some people are to be avoided at all means before devil use them

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Nobody: 2:41am On Apr 15, 2017
There's a simple Chinese proverbs that says it's not how you stir the water that determines the ripples it causes.. It's the water quantity.... See guy you fall my hand

Give respect to your elders
Firstly I suggest you go make amends with your elder brother
Fast fast
Secondly... Guy lemme tell you something... E no get person way comparison day gud for... My mama grew me up with comparing me to every cow and hen in my school..
Is it not ur mate that is
Is it not your mate that is...

For me i got angry and for some time I started hating this people....

But then guy.... Listen the day you understand the fact that you can never be another person.... It's the way you will start turning this negative hatred to something positive..

You can never be as successful as davido
You can never be intelligent as Albert Einstein
You can never be as popular as Obama

But you can always be better than them.. Your dad tells you that is just a way for you to realise you can simply do better than that.. He is setting a mark for you.. Comparison is bad... But human being have only been successful thanks to comparison....

Guy my advice is prove daddy wrong by doing your best at what you can do best
Nor go break persi eye oh....

You are destined to be better.. Your dad isn't seeing that yet.. So guy shine well well oh and pls go beg brother and his broken nose.. Na immaturity you display so

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Nobody: 2:49am On Apr 15, 2017
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Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Nobody: 2:51am On Apr 15, 2017
I grew up never taking first in class, a deacon/principal for a papa and a school teacher / deacon for a mom..... You think you have heard of the worst kind of comparison brother trust me you haven't reached anywhere



TO ALL YOU I SIMPLY HAVE THIS TO SAY .....

COMPARISON ONLY BECOMES A WEAPON OF JEALOUSY, HATRED AND ANGER WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR SELF ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE

Once you assure your self you will always be you i bet cold water will feel numb on you skin self..

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by deflover(m): 4:13am On Apr 15, 2017
poshestmina:
We love our siblings doesn't mean we don't have blood running through our veins .my elder sister had always been my standard ,someone i 'must' be like .she's the quiet,intelligent ,Godly and decent kind of girl while i got my first tattoo immediately i got admission . I was reminded everyday how my sister graduated with a 2.1 and i needed to be better than her ,finish school,serve,get a job,get a 2nd degree and get married .The HARDEST THING IS HAVING TO WALK IN SOMEONE ELSE'S SHOES .At the end of the day ,everybody with their fate abeg .I 'envied' my sister a lil but not to the point of fighting,hating or not wishing her well . Creating an atmosphere for healthy competitions among siblings is fine but unnecessary comparison is a NO NO!


So did you finally make the 2:1 or 1st class or u turned an ashawo
Cos that's all I can read from your write up
A rebel

2 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by olori98(f): 4:20am On Apr 15, 2017
U broke ur brothers nose and u are still saying it
*standingovation* the Lord is ur muscle

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 5:23am On Apr 15, 2017
Goahead:
Why would you fight with your elder brother in the first place
lolz..I saw a lot of people talking about how foolish I am..nd how stupid of a young man I am..nd how proud I am for breaking my brothers nose...
i stated it clearly.. I felt bad..I couldn't sleep..we are good padis ...or rather we were


I posted dis cos we've Neva fought since our primary school days.nd fighting now was a big embarrassment on my mum

who we respect so much.. she cried a lot..nd we both ad to apologized to her


he accused me wrongly.. nd I didn't like it..he den proceeded in hitting me first..

God forgive me..but I already knew how he was hot temper..nd u don't talk back to him wen he's angry.. I was ready to make him pay for all d caparisons.. nd I made him hit me so I could fight back...stupid me

Neva proud of my action.. abi who fight EPP

we are guys nd we've got each others back
why would anyone reasonable brothers wana trade dat for a fight?..

We just got stupid in d heat of d moment
NOTE:
I got injured too..nd I broke my arm..I didn't add dat cos am more concern about wat I did to my innocent brother.(moreover his name is also innocent)

am still getting treatment.. nd we avoid each other for now

2 Likes

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 5:28am On Apr 15, 2017
deflover:



So did you finally make the 2:1 or 1st class or u turned an ashawo
Cos that's all I can read from your write up
A rebel

I was ready for all dis comments before I posted d writeup..nd no am not yet a graduate.. but would soon be one
am not a rebel..nd neva been a violent person... it was a huge mistake from my part...I could av jst walked away from him..but I stayed back nd let d devil used me..
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 5:37am On Apr 15, 2017
LaExpert:
He could break your head if he decides to get back at you, he's your elder brother. The fact that you fought him alone can make him have funny thoughts and plans towards you.

You seem very naive and stubborn and probably deserve that treatment from your Dad. Even though it may not be the best, your brother has mastered how to take the positives and be a better person...and you're being envious.

Apologise sincerely to your Dad and siblings, then focus on how to successfully graduate from school and be a better person.

naive and Sturborn?.. mr man..am a fine young man..who knows wat he's doin..nd who makes mistakes..

my brother won't have dat kinda tut if harming me later...we've known each other for 20+ years..nd we both set goals together
..it's was a regrettable miss understanding

been envious?.. am working hard in my field to make my family proud...am so happy my brother got d job he's doin....its more money to d family..

But am still a students.. hoping to be like him wen I grow up..but wen someone expects u to be making money like ur brother..nd u don't av d qualifications to even get a job yet.. he makes u feel useless to d family.. like ur jst a liability not an assets

.

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 5:50am On Apr 15, 2017
Desdola:
As an informed person, you should know your left from your right. Your father meant well though his approach might be somehow harsh

I grew in dis ..nd we(my elder brother and I) often tell him to stop...but sometimes he'll jst unnecessarily bring it up...

my brother got admission immediately he finished from school
I got mine 4years after I finished

but before I did..he wuld compare d living daylight out to of me..

how my brother got admission cos he's brilliant..how I should be like him

how I should walk like him..nd talk like him

i wasn't a dull student..nd d olodos in my class got admission b4 me..am I to fight wat life gives me?

Before d fight ..me nd my brother do virtually everything together.. we are even planning on investing in a business..

I took up home tutorship during my spare time jst to avoid asking my dad for money

Nigerian parents should stop dis

1 Like

Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 5:56am On Apr 15, 2017
olori98:
U broke ur brothers nose and u are still saying it
*standingovation* the Lord is ur muscle

I for d umpteenth time...I only mentioned wat I did to my brother..cos its my nightmare..nd I regret it.

.am currently nursing a broken arm...are u happy now?

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