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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? (22244 Views)
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Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 6:02am On Apr 15, 2017 |
mecussey: a day came...nd we(me nd my brothera)..threw such to my dad..he laughed nd promised Neva to do d comparison again.. but he soon forgot nd resumed d comparing d comparisons dosnt get to me anymore so I thought... until we fought now I wished he had listened nd stopped |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by yelloo1(m): 6:04am On Apr 15, 2017 |
For fighting ur big broda alone me hav no comment for u on d issue. Here in africa we respect our seniors. 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Tolupage(m): 6:10am On Apr 15, 2017 |
it's really a serious issue especially coming from parents, our parents seem to share similarities on this matter especially when it involves church but what I did was plainly tell them, I can't live hypocritical life, most of those compared with me ain't actually all saint like they portray them to be and Frankly said I don't need such comparison. You must tell urself that you won't allow your emotions be ruined by these actions and never allow it breed negative relationship between you and others. Work on yourself and make yourself a better person than you already are. |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Peerlessme(f): 6:12am On Apr 15, 2017 |
You should be protective of your brother, your elder for that matter. Wise men they say control their temper. 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by skuribeebo: 6:27am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Acode:if I were ur elder brother , I would kill u. You are just so useless ,rude and brainlesss. You can even kill ur brother through envy. 1 Like |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Engineermbugame(m): 6:29am On Apr 15, 2017 |
some of africa parents are like dat ,my dad usually said dat ,were 2 boys in our families ,some time we eat outside because of dat .were all huztling every day ,despite am still a student ,well my senior brother had graduated. |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 6:33am On Apr 15, 2017 |
skuribeebo:OK 1 Like |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 6:35am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Tolupage: God bless u man..tanks |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by eyinjuege: 6:39am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Acode: Apologize to your brother, and stop making excuses. Its not enough to feel bad and sorry for your actions. The most important thing is how you have made amendments, and corrected the wrongs. If your dad brings up all his comparisons, report him to your mum, and let her know he's breeding enmity between her children. 4 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Vince77(m): 6:44am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by joanana(f): 6:49am On Apr 15, 2017 |
What I detest in my life is comparison. MUMSIE get PHD for that stuff. I remembered when I wrote my first GCE exam in ss2 and I failed all the subjects. It became my morning, afternoon and evening greeting .... ”You failed all the subjects everything time, you busy watching television, look this persons child she passed all her subjects but u u can't” . it was a nightmare I prayed and wished it to go away but it never did . even at the slight provocation , she will say it. When I wrote my wace exams in ss3 and another GCE exam that year I rubbed my results on her face too cos my mathematics skills was top noch A both in GCE and wace. I passed the exams and I begged her to please stop comparing me with someone else it is really annoying.. So she stopped. 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by cooldude62(m): 6:49am On Apr 15, 2017 |
This guy broke his brother's nose because the dad compared them? Watch out, this is a potential murderer! |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Acode: 6:54am On Apr 15, 2017 |
eyinjuege:apologise done already.... 1 Like |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Goahead(m): 7:01am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Acode:This is saddening, your innocent brother had to bear the blunt of your reckless father. You're more detailed right here than the original post. I don't care to know whatever that caused the fight, but please, fix that bond between you and your brother, at least for the sake of your poor mom 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Zedoo(m): 7:15am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Parents always make the mistake of raising their wards same way they were raised in ancient days... Your dad is TOTALLY wrong... But I have learnt one invaluable lesson... Never argue with elders, they are already set in their ways....and never take what they say to heart especially if it tends to hurt.....its just the way they are, they will NEVER understand. Or maybe you can ask them why they are not senators and presidents (like their friends in high places whom they always claim to know ) lol. On the flipside, I think you and your brother should be mature enough to actually TALK about this thing....to TELL him that your dad has made you loathe him....instead of keeping it to yourself.... Once he knows, trust me he will do everything within his power to make sure both of you are on good terms.... He will "understand" where your actions and behaviour come from. |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by uncleade(m): 7:19am On Apr 15, 2017 |
This is very simple. just look ahead ,for a day shall come, when a younger brother will break your jaws too. |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Amenya96(f): 7:20am On Apr 15, 2017 |
@Acode if we tell you here that your father is to blame, it wont make things better or worse. You know why, he won't come and read our comments. But you should seek our advice on how you can become a better person. First you need great and good friends, not agbaya people onh,people that will come to your mind to go to when this hate come up and I believe when you finish talking over with them, your anger should have boiled down. secondly, there is an adage that says "with Time we shall know who is foolish ".See,if your dad is the typical Nigerian man no amount of your talking with him will make him change. And if you try to please him, you may end up selling your soul to the devil for sucess. do your best and leave the rest for God. Do what you can, I wish I could talk to you more. so you understand.work hard,face your studies.work hard.the end shall tell. Never, I repeat NEVER you put your anger on your brothers, you know why they are going through the exact same thing as you. learn from them You guys should mak your dad see what gifts he was blessed with as sons. If you need to talk, you can reach me 1 Like |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Obiwiz(m): 7:21am On Apr 15, 2017 |
4dor:Spot on. 4 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Hollysaint: 7:41am On Apr 15, 2017 |
please acode fix the relationship with your brother back to pre fight days.ask him about the bussiness you guys wanted to do together.know whether he still wants to do it if yes continue from where you guys stopped .meet your mum and complain to her about how your father caused the fight and tell her to have a talk with your dad.it is well bro. 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by mrlaw93(m): 8:01am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Tazdroid:I don't usually quote ppl, but this i must say is the most brilliant post of the 2nd quartile of the year. 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Nobody: 8:35am On Apr 15, 2017 |
OP,you don s h I t for church. You sey you dey 300L and you noh fit coordinate yourself.You think sey to go uni na just to get good grades for courses.check uni degree dem dey award am base on character too.Wetin enter your head to break your elder bro nose?you be agbaya for that action. Why you go envy your blood brother. Young man,this life na per head.every one get he destiny. Yes,you don tell us sey your old man dey over dey ginger una.okay na.but you suppose use your 'aka nuche' take know sey every body get his own life to live. You be still small boy.So I advice you to go apologize to your brother.Your old man go soon 'lego'based on old age things.but you and your bros go still dey life dey run things. one good thing about blood is that we quarrel,fight and settle. so go beg your brother and think of how to live your life. life na per head. 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Blonchilli(m): 10:26am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Acode:It's sad when parents do that. Mine was more terrible. The best thing to do is ignore and apologise. Taking actions could lead to unnecessary fights. Mine got me kicked out from my parents house when if you look at it from a better perspective I should be the one they compare to. But I believe everybody has his/her own fate and trying too force someone to be like the other becomes disastrous. Apologise to your family and avoid such scenario by any mean necessary. They're family and no matter where you run to fate will make you need them |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Blonchilli(m): 10:29am On Apr 15, 2017 |
4dor:Hitting his elder brother was wrong, infact hitting your brother/sister irrespective of age difference is wrong but the father is to blame for this. Who compares a Toyata camry with a Rolls Royce. One has gone far in life and the other is barely starting. Parent like that turn brothers to enemiess |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Blonchilli(m): 10:30am On Apr 15, 2017 |
4dor:Hitting his elder brother was wrong, infact hitting your brother/sister irrespective of age difference is wrong but the father is to blame for this. Who compares a Toyata camry with a Rolls Royce. One has gone far in life and the other is barely starting. Parent like that turn brothers to enemies |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by being(m): 10:30am On Apr 15, 2017 |
So you are trying to console yourself with the expected comments that your dad is the remote cause of the incident! - Continue. U had better just have a repentant attitude towards your brother and also stop allowing your father's comparisons get to you - u ain't a teenager for Gods sake! Be more matured in mind. God forbid assuming in your fit of rage now, instead of nose you broke the whole head and lik that you become a murderer, even if your family saves you from death by hanging, how will you live the rest of your life with the hurt? You need to be able to pick out the constructive parts about people's criticisms and drop the other part! Anyways, give yourself a few more strokes of the cane and remedy the situation/your state of mind |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Brisleypat: 10:34am On Apr 15, 2017 |
4dor:Word, it got me thinking too. Nice 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Frolic: 10:46am On Apr 15, 2017 |
The best revenge is staying true to who you are and making the possible best out of it. Your worst critique now will soon be your renowned kakaki blower ... me thinks |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by kingsmaila(m): 10:46am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Parents should stop comparing their children for the are not the same and can never be the same as individual are different in many aspects. Comparing children will lead to hatred among siblings. Praise, advise and encourage children to be the way u want instead of propagating hatred. |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Ibenny(f): 10:57am On Apr 15, 2017 |
4dor: Thanks so much for this...in fact you said it. Bless you 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by HaneefahRN(f): 10:58am On Apr 15, 2017 |
My mum is good at it and it gets me so mad. The most annoying part is she compares me with people I know are way below me in every way. Especially a cousin of mine who doesn't even know what to do with her life yet but she is quite deceitful, cunning and has hypocritical ways. I was tempted to tell her one day to go adopt her and leave me the f*** alone, then she'll know how God really blessed her. I am determined not to make my children go through that, and it kills the child's self esteem. I think the OP has already clarified things to an extent cos would have insulted him. 2 Likes |
Re: Comparison In A Family. How Healthy Is It? by Bosch10(m): 11:21am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Dharniel:i must confess.this is one of d most matured post i have seen in nairaland.you earn my respect sir(doffs hat) |
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