thanks to you nairalanders with your good and bad comments but the thing is that this guy is nice, lovely and sweet the ex took him for granted now she realize her mistake and she wants to come bad. for those of you who thinks that he might be on nairaland, i know for a fact that he is not. and about checking his phone he leaves he phone which means he has nothing to hide. I just really appreciate it that he told me this himself and am relieved. We spoke thoroughly yesterday about him wanting to go back to his next and all and he said no. why should he. with all what the girl has done? i asked whether i was his rebound girl he said no!. guess am happy for now. I told him am still on shaky ground that he really need to assure me that he has nothing to do with his ex, i just want to wait and see how things go from here.

Don't take his word for it. He'll want to get back together again with her. The feeling of "what ifs" and "maybes" are still there. One thing I can assure you is that it won't work out and he'll come back to you begging. I don't think he's totally over her yet especially if he was planning on marrying her. I would tell you to chill out and let him figure it out! He knows what the right thing to do is but his curiosity will get the best of him.

am waiting till when he surprises u.i bet u,i will be here waiting for ur next thread, MY BOYFRIEND DUMP ME FOR HIS EX

Never trust a guy, you will be surprised when he leaves you. For him to be contacting his ex that he wanted to marry it means they still have a thing for each other. I am sure the girl knows his family and friends. she is in a better position than you. so my sister shine your eye well well o! and if possible look for standby guy wey you fit run to when he leaves you.

The truth remains he still loves his ex,am sure ur old enough 2 b able 2 read btw d lines, dump his a*s b4 he dumps yah

Gurl 4get about d dude and move on wit ur life. He does'nt know wat he want.

Surprisingly, I have taken time to read every single reply in this thread, I must commend every comment made.

@rotimy
Yours was one of the best comment I came across and I agreed with you totally even before I read what happened later between the poster and her boyfriend.

@ziga
I don't agree with you when you said the poster should not rely on nairalanders' advice. There were those with fantastic advice and those not so fantastic, it is now left for the poster to discern and decide what to do based on what she has read.

@Noxious
Your comment and suggestion may have been waved aside by the poster as a non possibility, but what u said is still a very big possibility.


@Poster
When it comes to love issue, it is always complicated and at times, we know the right thing to do, but we lack the will power to do it because of emotions. It seems your bf is a nice guy. Pray and discuss issues with him and in the end, time will still sort everything out.

But if both of you are already sleeping with each other, then you are not in the right frame of mind to make the best decision.

girl friend, wat you are going to do is this. the same way you stumble into that text message is still the same way you are going to pick the ex-gf number and the name, useanother fone to send loving, pleading of coming back into his life message, write that you are sorry for ever disapointing him and that if he allow you back. you ar going to turn a new leaf. put her name and number of the gf, remember not ur fone another line.tel him to reply, and also to meet in you in a place. from his reaction you will know if they still meeet or not.

@ Poster,

I believe you are seeing the tell-tale signs that his heart is not 100% with you.

However, I suggest you ask him to give you a break, separate from him for a while and study his reaction all through this. During this time, you need to work on your self. Let this time be a period in which you let him know you are giving him the time to make up his mind on who he really wants. His actions and reactions to you all the while will give you insight on what you should finally do.

In all, be very sensitive, watchfull and prayerful!


Cheers!

Then go find ur ex too

sophy09:

thanks to you nairalanders with your good and bad comments but the thing is that this guy is nice, lovely and sweet the ex took him for granted now she realize her mistake and she wants to come bad. for those of you who thinks that he might be on nairaland, i know for a fact that he is not. and about checking his phone he leaves he phone which means he has nothing to hide. I just really appreciate it that he told me this himself and am relieved. We spoke thoroughly yesterday about him wanting to go back to his next and all and he said no. why should he. with all what the girl has done? i asked whether i was his rebound girl he said no!. guess am happy for now. I told him am still on shaky ground that he really need to assure me that he has nothing to do with his ex, i just want to wait and see how things go from here.

Hmmmn! Well, I admire your trust for this guy. I'm the last person on earth to advise you on this because right now, as far as I'm concerned, guys will lie to get what they want.

Make no mistake about it girl, you ARE his rebound girl. If he falls in love with you eventually and wants something more, then good for you! But if he loves you, he'll forget his ex! It's the law of nature . . . it's called displacement!

I'm not saying you should leave him. That's obviously impossible seeing the way you feel about him. But I'd suggest you get yourself a 'safety net' . . to help cushion the blow.

Pls stay away 4 now. Pretend lik u never saw d text and be on d look out 4 urs.

Ujujoan:

Hmmmn! Well, I admire your trust for this guy. I'm the last person on earth to advise you on this because right now, as far as I'm concerned, guys will lie to get what they want.

Make no mistake about it girl, you ARE his rebound girl. If he falls in love with you eventually and wants something more, then good for you! But if he loves you, he'll forget his ex! It's the law of nature . . .  it's called displacement!

I'm not saying you should leave him. That's obviously impossible seeing the way you feel about him. But I'd suggest you get yourself a 'safety net' . .  to help cushion the blow.

. . . safety what?  What do you mean? Are you are suggesting getting another guy round the corner? If yes, Sweetheart, dat is double wahala for deady body and show the height of insecurity. My flatmate ( lovely girl-subjective) can shed more light on dat,  she don become an emotional wreck - can't help her though.

Graciously treat him like a casual friend, kind and nice, normal. Don't let him know nor see that it affects or bothers you and act as if you don't know anything. Move on with you. If and when you talk, don't talk personal issues or matters. Consider it is over. Don't call him nor look for him. If he calls, talk to him normal and if he looks for you, give him a cup of coffee, normal like friends. You have silently already left. It is better for him to think that you didn't leave him than he leaves you. Eventually he will get the message that you aren't a fool, but wise and strong. Maybe your character can impress him. But you are not looking to win him, but you can win him in this way or not.
God gives you the grace to handle this situation.

Well, let's say your boyfriend and I are in the same shoes, You shouldn't have read his messages.
That's his privacy, But all the same I'll advise you keep your fingers crossed.

DOAweb:

. . . safety what? What do you mean? Are you are suggesting getting another guy round the corner? If yes, Sweetheart, dat is double wahala for deady body and show the height of insecurity. My flatmate ( lovely girl-subjective) can shed more light on dat, she don become an emotional wreck - can't help her though.

Nope, not another guy, but she shd stop seeing this particular guy as her world. She shd concentrate on other things in her life and make him the as irrelevant as possible. If he's there good, if he's not, better! Kind of an emotional 'dis-entangling' . . .

You should confront him and hear what he has to say about the situation, from his explanation you'll know whether to stay or move on with your life. Good luck girl.

thanks to you nairalanders with your good and bad comments but the thing is that this guy is nice, lovely and sweet the ex took him for granted now she realize her mistake and she wants to come bad. for those of you who thinks that he might be on nairaland, i know for a fact that he is not. and about checking his phone he leaves he phone which means he has nothing to hide. I just really appreciate it that he told me this himself and am relieved. We spoke thoroughly yesterday about him wanting to go back to his next and all and he said no. why should he. with all what the girl has done? i asked whether i was his rebound girl he said no!. guess am happy for now. I told him am still on shaky ground that he really need to assure me that he has nothing to do with his ex, i just want to wait and see how things go from here.

on behalf of most NLanders_{even dose hu have refused to read ur verdict,n kip posting}we hope ur decision works wel 4 u.

Still watch and see if he's speaking the truth. Love is blind.

*now bumping to case of the ex!*

PLS TRY SOME ONE ELSE.U"VE JUST STARTED NT LONG AGO.I UNDERSTAND THIS WEN D LOVE IS STRONG. 2 SAY D FACT,U DONT NO WAT DEY VE SHARED WIT EACH OTHER.B CAREFUL

i will advice u to be very careful about dis so call ur guy,cos atimes u may look at him 4rm different dimension in which u might be wrong.just be urself n get busy with most of ur time,watch n study him if his actually not fooling u n be truefull with him.
be urself it's take d wise one time to dance to the melody of life.

ok,

@poster, i'll tell you a similar scenario, u might not want to hear it but it's reality,
Same happened with me and my first boyfriend,,we were like peas in a pod,always together, and then i met another guy (an older person),who was more fun, wiser and at that time, i was tripping, so what did i do?i left my boyfriend for him,infact he saw us together and i didnt bat an eyelid,cos i really liked this other guy, we broke up and i continued my relationshiip with the new guy,few months down the line, me and this guy drifted apart and i kept on hearing good things bout my ex, and how he had started dating this new girl, hmmmmm(that was all it took,f
or my interest to fly up)
i knew i couldnt call him yet cos i didnt know what to say,so when the prefect opportunity came,i jumped on it,a mutual friend was throwing a party,so i glammed up and wwent there,knowin i'll definately see him(but with his new girl,which to b honest i didnt mind),so got there,(we were all in uni there and everybody knew what happened,so ppl were like waiting to see the scene)
so i'm at the party catching up with old acquaintances, n then he walked into the room, (kachin), hmmm,he walked over and said hi,and i was like hey hi, long time, few pleasantries n he left to talk to some friends(by this time ,everybody were like hovering around), i walked over to him there and said ,can i talk to u?he said sure,n i said ,i'll like to apologise for what i did, i was stupid,dumb and i've realised that ,he was like sure that's fine, he's moved on and it's all good, and then his new girl just came up to him.n went baby, i’ve been looking for u, and kissed him right there and there,and they just walked off,no bye,nothing(infact they made a show of it,right infront of me(imagine the kind of show the ppl watching were getting). U know what i did, i just smiled, (u will think that will stop me, no, i kept on looking out for him,n when i saw the girl was no where insight, i faked walked into him, and almost tripped,the way he quickly caught me so i didn’t trip,gave me all the confirmation i needed(it wasn’t a matter of if we’ll get back together ,it was a matter of how long,will he keep the charade goin, , when i was leaving,i could see his eyes following me everywhere, anywway after that day we started texting and we got back together like 2 weeks afterwards,he left the girl(infact i was the one telling him to b nice to her,to pick her calls and talk to her,cos i felt bad for her, (his friends called him names,some didn’t talk to me, but i couldn’t blame them)
Anyway we were together for another 2 yrs(and the relationship was even better and stronger)until i left to do my masters,he visited a few times but the u know distance,
So you see,if his love for her is strong(regardless of what he tells u),no matter what u do, he will go back n won’t give a hoot about u when he does so b wise,
long i know, lol,

@ sexxxxxy
Will like to know if you are still with him?

Why do ladies like their ex boyfriend? And it happens that most times it is the girl that break off the relationship and afterwards you wishing you never did.

awwww u poor darling, no one likes to feel like a consolation prize, but am afraid thats wat u r to him

try to explain to hw u feel about this to him. knw whether he still got feelings for his ex or they were just really close. dnt just conclude he is seeing. if u really like/love him u will do this. if not its not worth the trouble forget him.