Let me speech out to u from my experience,the fact is clear that for guy to leave his EX is quite difficult because they have spent allot of time, even if the fault comes from the gal, i was dating one too right from my sss 2 and our relationship lasted for good 5yrs before she broke my heart to pick another guy, but unfortunately after 1yr she came back when av started dating another gal for about 6mounths, now i have no option than to allow her back, but the truth is cleared to me that i really love the new gal than that of my EX.(my new gal 85% while my EX 15%)

My loving life split into to places(my EX and my new lover), until my EX came to my place while i was with my new lover inside my room(true lover).Then my hands fell down that i have no option than to end my relationship with my EX and promise my new gal not to go back to my EX again.

But till now, my EX still calls me, send tex msg, which i always show my new gal. And i will prefare dating another gal than to go back to my EX the third time.

@poster

My advice to you is,if truly you love him, just cam down, try and get him red handed, then i promise you will truly know he loves you, but it just difficult to him to just let his EX go that easily.I will advice u don't confront him because if u do, than he will lie to u and notice that u r getting him, then i will prevent u from getting them,i know that is difficult but try and take heart till when u found them.But i know he won't love that EX like he loves u.

Good Luck

I think u should leave him, if he care abut u in the first place, he wont be contacting his ex, dat means he is just using u to wipe away time to get answer from the other girl. leave him.

[size=18pt]Flag down a Bike NOW NOW and run out of the relationship!!!![/size]

i can see red card being given to you, you beta move before he gives you the red card, whatever happens i am always available morevover i am big strong and reliable

He might not be cheating with his ex. . .but its only a matter of time dear! So you confront him and get your butt out!

@IYA NGBALI
No bi every body we type they use their sense ohhhhh(u ar one of them sha), if u can't understand common english why can't u fie someone to explain what this tread story is all about.lol

@poster

Don't let anyone force u but be patient to get the truth cos now u are still biting around her,what if he tells you that the message is that she is requesting for another chance ko?but remember the patient dog eat the fattest born(learn from my espirience BELOW )

putting myself in the guys shoe, The truth like someone said earlier is the spirit of ex is very strong. he was using u to pass time while he mends his heart and since she is back, he will surely leave sooner rather than later. my advice, leave now. if he cares, he will come looking for u. then u can tell him 2 stop contacting r. there are lots of guys out there, why stay when u r not wanted.

Give your boy friend what he deserved.
try to unstd why is doing that 2 u.
let him state is position as regard the relatioship.
it is patinent to know all these so as to know where the relationship is heading to.

confront him!!! it's now or never!!

Remba his meeting u and promising u anytin does not mean he should be an enemy to his ex, they can still see and talk, or are u telling us that upon knowing the guy u have finally entered into enemity with all ur ex bf.We re in a civilise world he can talk to his ex any day any time and under any condition.All u should ask is what his plan is for u and not digging deep into his privacy.Why looking for what will make u suspect him.The truth is that frm now u willl not trust him again, if he comes in late u will assume he has gone to see the girl and so on n so forth.

Truth is noone says DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX! But hey, when it begins to interfere with your new relationship, it's time to WATCH IT! Once you break-off from a relationship, be sure you are well over that person in THAT SPECIAL way before you open any FLOOD-GATE OF WE ARE NOW JUST FRIENDS! Ex-s are kinda ur PAST, so I don't get it when people are still THAT CLOSE,  So poster, I think you should have a roundtable discussion with your guy & know the way forward,  If he can't let go off his past, I fear to say, he doesn't yet have a present,  Which means, there is no YOU-HIM RELATIONSHIP!

I appreciate all the replies, but as many people said he probably wants to leave me for her because i read another message from him telling her that they should meet that what they are going to say is done better face to face. what is better done face to face, annoying thing is that this girl hurt him really bad because he really taught he was going to marry her, from what i could get when he spoke of his ex to me, is that "he invested in her". the only thing am looking at is now nice he is to me. i think the best is to confront him and see his reaction. Why is everything all complicated in a relationship, i wanted to be left alone but the came and swept me up my feet. Now this! if i leave him, i don't think i will be going into any relationship again, rather be single and have my peace.

so sad really how strong the spirit of ex is. . . . So sad again when you are a rebound item!!

parislomo:

so sad really how strong the spirit of ex is. . . . So sad again when you are a rebound item!!

well i do not see it like that until i confront him.

well i guess you are right parislomo am the rebound girl, my eyes don open. i can't believe i fell for this. just saw another text message where he was telling her they had true love and he will always cherish what they had together and he talked of the probably of them getting together. so what we had was never true love? well i guess i have to move on like what most people said. i do not need to confront him about anything, i hate the fact that he can't even tell his ex that he has a gf already. well i do not think i can trust any guy right now. this is really disappointing with all that she has done, if it were me will he give me the second chance i guess not.

i feel u should just give him d silent treatment,just go n leave him to his 'back n forth affairs',if he wants u he def knows where to find u n if he comes begging abeg shine ur eyes n lay d cards on the table,he should either get his act together or not bother you know more!!!

sophy09:

well i guess you are right parislomo am the rebound girl, my eyes don open. i can't believe i fell for this. just saw another text message where he was telling her they had true love and he will always cherish what they had together and he talked of the probably of them getting together. so what we had was never true love? well i guess i have to move on like what most people said. i do not need to confront him about anything, i hate the fact that he can't even tell his ex that he has a gf already. well i do not think i can trust any guy right now. this is really disappointing with all that she has done, if it were me will he give me the second chance i guess not.

it really is a sad situation, if ur goin to leave him,let him knw why ur doin so and give him a chance to explain, in case he's just tryin to get a revenge frm her.

however, if in fact he's really goin bac to her,let him go and dnt even bother fightin him cos he's not worth it anyway.

bt pls watever happens, just knw that all guys arent d same, lots of good ones out there, dnt let one bastard convince u otherwise.
pray for d grace to meet a guy who really loves u, no one should be alone, no one!

sophy,just brace urself for the worse!there wont any element of surprise if he decides to leave u and dt wont hurt much.just LIVE UR LIFE LIFE ITS GOLDEN!

sorry poor girl but you just gat to be prepared for the worst. if he leaves you don't weep. its the earthquake in a relationship.

Secure an emotional insurance policy

ok a man hardly gets over an ex, and if he really loves that ex of his and she was the one that ended the relationship, that means he never wanted the relationship to be over
you just a rebound girl

so am sure u already know whats up, you are not number one,
he is always gona want his ex, so the best thing is to get out of the relationship, cos yah heart will be broken if not now then soon

and dont give up on a relationship cos of him, u might/will get your man

Hi Nairalanders, my bf finally told me about his ex and how she wants to get back to her. I was ashamed, i could not tell him that i have read his messages and i know about it. he told me everything and how she has been contacting him and how she wants to get back together. i asked if he has gone to see her and he said yes and that he see nothing bad in having her as a friend. i did not want to sound like the jealous gf so i did not say anything, but i am glad that he told me about his ex. it is just that they are now friends and then what , ?

^^^^^
what da
did u not post this already

1)@ poster , why go thru ur Man's messages?

2) Take heart dear, most things are not as bad as they seem moreover you are relying purely on presumptions which is a waste of your time. "DIALOGUE"!!!!

@Poster: I am not assuming the worst but did it occur to you that if your bf is really a player and also visits Nairaland, that he might have seen this thread and then decided to tell you before you confront him? That way, he could secure peace and what you presently share, while he works out things with his ex. That's a possibility and I might be wrong.

Why didn't he speak with you BEFORE going to see her? I have an idea of meetings like this between guys and their supposed ex and how purportedly rested relationships & old flames can be rekindled in an instant. Just be careful, it may not be uhuru yet!

For your sake, I hope it's not as bad as I have hypothesised.

WhyAWhy:

[size=18pt]Flag down a Bike NOW NOW and run out of the relationship!!!![/size]

I wonder y u just decide say na bike the poster go call, y u no tok say ' my friend enter your 2009 model escalade vamoose from the relationship!!!

But seriously If i were you I would read the sign and take a hike, but then you never mite know, 

Whats up with the "leave him before he leaves you" syndrome going down with this thread

Here we go again  - Women with their insecurities.

Why did you check his phone in the first place? O yes, I was looking for a number - could have simply asked him?

What if he is in a[b] dilemma[/b], trying to put a closure to his ex? Reading his text is one thing, interpreting it with your level of insecurity is another!

Sorry girl, I don't subscribe to peoples checking other phones without been authorised , yes bf or husband - even at that!

so whats new with that? she should go do her own ex if she is mad,

Here we go again - Women with their insecurities.

Why did you check his phone in the first place? O yes, I was looking for a number - could have simply asked him?

What if he is in a dilemma, trying to put a closure to his ex? Reading his text is one thing, interpreting it with your level of insecurity is another!

Sorry girl, I don't subscribe to peoples checking other phones without been authorised , yes bf or husband - even at that!

oh puhleaseeeee,she wasnt snoopin around jo.

aint an insecurity matter,the truth is glaring at her. Ur his rebound.

maters ov d heart neva ceize 2 amaze mi.