angels09:
So you cheated on your hubby too?

Lol.. They are coming out.. Cheaters dem.

Madam,were you hypnotized all through the time the pastor was drilling you?He undressed you or you undressed yourself?either way it was an act done deliberately it's too late for us to advice you.Madam,for a woman,it is not easy to cheat.You consented it.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Babe abi Woman...I hope I got to you fast. If u love yourself and don't want to ruin your life/physco system DONT CONFESS ANYTHING. Confess rather to your inner being and God, plus you gatta change for real. Whatever you have not been doing that pleases the Hubby n family do it XXL as your punishment and keep it up for life. The moment you confess and ANT become Butterfly na u sabi

okay biiiishhhhh sit your faukeeen asssss down and take notes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas biiiiiaaaaaachhhh...In Mandela's voice... "Don't do it again". One last question, how many rounds did you go? Don't covfefe answer the question biiiiiiaaach.

istoctober:


l did it once and since then, l have not been myself. l have a feeling of "your sins will surely find you out" and is hunting me now. ls been two years now but l don't have peace.

Just let it go. Don't confess anything. dwell more on the word of God and believe that God has forgiven you and now love your husband Now like u dey craze. whenever the thought of guilt comes, rebuke that spirit and you'll be fine. as for his herbalist uncle to know, is a threat cos he feels you're cheating. if you ever tell him, the consequences will be much and you may end up being depressed and evil will befall u and your life is finished. Always rebuke that guilt thought and thank me later

darlenese:
Dnt confess to him , try and forgive urself ,because God has forgive you . most men would cheat and won't evn confess or feel any remorse yet they still enjoy their marriage . ur life will become miserable if u confess.

Who can carry fire underneath his clothing.

I had an adulterous uncle, guess what, he ould hold it no more e damned the consequence and tild his wife. Cos the men u speak about dont confess doesnt mean guilt isnt eating then deep.

Woman, woman, woman...how many times did I call you? Going with the majority may feel like the right thing to do but Don't - I repeat, do not tell your husband you cheated.


I have your kind of conscience and would have done the same thing you're considering now but that was when I was naive and foolish. Forgive yourself and move on.

P.S- the fact that you're highly conscientious doesn't mean you should not apply wisdom. Be wise.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.

l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Ishilove:

My brother, they will come and preach but behind closed doors they are committing. God is surely a merciful God

My fear for the op is that one of the pastors who know about her adultery(including the one she commited it with) is going to blackmail her in the future to have a taste of her.

If she refuses, her husband will be informed.

If she agrees, the cycle continues.

If she confesses, she receives her punishment and unburdens her heart. Who knows, the husband might suprise her.

If she refuses and the husband finds out from a blackmailer, the marriage ends without remedy.

Therefore, istoctober, choose your option well

istoctober:


l did it once and since then, l have not been myself. l have a feeling of "your sins will surely find you out" and is hunting me now. ls been two years now but l don't have peace.

Restitution is good oooo but, in this case wisdom is required. God has forgiven you your sin. but, that idiot called devil won't allow you enjoy your life because you think God has not forgiven you. woman! take care of your home and kill this feeling of guilt. Do not confess anything to your husband. Forget what has happened in the past and never allow such repeat. shalom!

istoctober:


l lost my three months preggy cos of my depreesion in Jan, 2016. Ever since, l have not been myself. l keep seeing myself as not worth living.
Each time l look at him, l have this guilty conscience that l have disappointed God and my parents. I cry in my lonely hours and it has made me to stay calm even in my right at home, l felt that l deserve everything that is happening to me.

You have a godly sorrow which is a prequisite for forgiveness. Hope you have already asked God to forgive you. Become a born Chriistian before doing this. God will definitely see you through.

u have not made any sense

Divorce and breakup is not the will of God for marriages,your heart is broken and u are remorseful,old things are passed away behold all things hav become new psalm 32 vs 5 says it all face the situation with boldness God would surely restore all he would guide you through this storm candidly I would advice not to tell him ,it would cause you so much physical and emotional pain and shame .dont ever do it again .show him more love than you hav ever done ..my 2cents. I would be there incase u need to talk 08136238324

modik:



hmmmmm

For your Mum to warn you.........

I'm tempted to perceive you might have some hot appealing and tempting appearance!

Ishilove indeed a pretty lady.

It is only natural for the mum to warn her against evil men.

Young03:
Let by-gone be by-gone

let it be ur secret..... God will be d one to judge u

This except for the god stuff.

istoctober:

l was 29, when l cheated on him but am 32 now.

Just ask for God's direction

I'm sorry though.. Feel ur pains

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

there's always a secret every human go down with in life..let this be ur very own secret..Wisdom should be applied here please,stop letting conscience finish you.2014 is fargone and you've repented from such thank God,he has forgiven you already since the first day you realized it and please avoid any close relationship from your ex-s

the day u confess to him, is the day u loose ur marriage. wisdom demand that you keep it to urself since u made up ur mind never to do that

istoctober:


l have asked a pastor and he said l shouldn't confess but am worried cos he told me on Sunday that his uncle who is a native doctor will know if l am cheating on him.

A pastor told you not to confess?

hedonistic:
.
Tell us why and how you cheated. The full narrative. Then we will take it up from there.

the Op doesn't owe you the full narrative.

She owes her husband that.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

na wah for u ooooo .... I don't even know what to say

How old is your marriage? How predictable is your husband? Does he have any elderly couple /man he heeds to?
There is no need to confess to him, he already knows. I suspect you denied it when he confronted you, it was better you'd remained silent.

You may chip in when he is in a happy mood that you have made some mistakes like somebody under spell will do and build up a background later by showing your disgusts for most Pentecostal overlords and prophetic deceivers. Leave it at that, sometime in the nearest feature he may get to know of the details not from you anyway, then you will not both be a lier and a cheat, you will get a softlanding too.


Don't be surprised his source of information may be a friend to the Pastor you cheated with.
Stay away from the littered Pentecostal overlords and crooks, they are not your Papa and Daddy

angels09:

Who did you cheat with?
Did you open your kpekus for another joystick?
What prompted you to do the deed?

why on earth would a man sleep with a married woman that's not ur wife?it's evil and it beats my imagination.

OP take your bag and leave in shame(preferably an older female friends place make sure you have confessed to her) if he begins looking for you give up your location and invite him over, get a genuine female pastor involved, confess your sins and let him know you had to leave because you are no longer worthy of his forgiveness. Remain there for days, spend your sober days there and see what happens next.

uboma:




Ishilove indeed a pretty lady.

It is only natural for the mum to warn her against evil men.

There is an atom of evil/good in every man. The difference is the one you chose to feed.

This warning is directional.

Onegai:
Istoctober,

Please listen to me. You did it once right? Good.

CONFESS IN 4 MORE YEARS!

If you were a serial cheat or this affair had lasted 1 month long, I would make you confess tonight. Instead, you made a mistake. A stupid, selfish, thoughtless mistake. And you are paying for it. Good!

And let me be honest: ALL CHEATS DIE FROM GUILT. WHEN YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT SOMETHING, EVEN RAIN WILL LOOK LIKE PUNISHMENT. THAT GUILT IS PUNISHMENT FROM GOD.

Hallelujah. God never said you would commit a sin and He would forgive you and all would be groovy (which is what churches teach yoi), God said He would restore you, after you paid the price of your sin. You must pay the price but God has bought some of the debt. Like you owe the bank N250, 000 but your parents pay off N100, 000. If you don't pay the price, then there is no Justice in Heaven. Even men pay the price and the longer they sin, the more their debt is (it then spills into their kids).

You have taken Responsibility for your sin so in my book, you owe just like N80, 000. That's great news!

So, go to a women's group. That is whom you need, no more members of the male sexx to give you the emotional comfort you crave and you then cheat emotionally and physically, you did that the first time and have the scarlet letter branded on your head to show as a badge. Unburden yourself to your women's group (preferably this group is not related to your church, human beings can't keep their mouths shut). They will help you. They will help you and give you support while you pay off your debt. They will be there when you need the intimacy your husband is not giving. For now.

Next, identify every problem in your marriage. Starting with you. You must have felt no emotional satisfaction in your marriage (men are not taught how to marry, they are taught that paying schoolfees and rent and holiday and buying car = Great Husband). So, you need to work on identifying what you need. Then go get it from your husband. Say "I need you to spend time with me and not with UCL Juventus vs Barca" (boys, you can watch that football match later, don't neglect your wife for it). Tell him
"I feel secure when you come home early".
"I feel loved when you use soft words to correct me"
"I feel intelligent when you give me a chance to advise you"
"I feel sexy when you come into the kitchen and slap my arse when I'm cooking and leave again",
"I feel safe when you send me 5 messages during the day when you are at work because it feels like you think of me a lot",
"I feel Happy when you come home and unwind then join me on the couch because I feel like that means you love how you feel at home",
"I feel passionate when you see me looking unkempt and you push me into the bathroom, shower with me and insist on rubbing lotion on my body".

From there, work on your relationship (notice I didn't say marriage, I said work on your relationship with your man). Fix you because you are the offending party (screw a wise woman buildeth whatever blah blah, a CEO builds his company, stop giving guys a free pass to fvckup their marriage till they turn 60 and old age and sickness suddenly gives them brain).

The offending party/cheating party starting to fix the marriage first means the marriage gets rebuilt in 5 years. The Betrayed party starting to fix the marriage first means the marriage gets rebuilt in 10 years. That's why most Nigerian wives tend to enjoy their marriage 10 years plus, not earlier.

Once you rebuild your marriage, THEN you can then confess and apologize. Because to apologize right now, you're only doing it to Unburden your guilt to him. Because it's too heavy, you're not confessing because you are wrong and want to make amends. You will feel a weight lifted off you but finalize the destruction you brought in his life.

So this sound like a plan? You got work to do girlie

You're making more than sense Nice one i dey feel you

Nice talk. I can see that you are strong hearted though. Kudos...

nkemdi89:
Those telling you to confess are far from realities, if your story isn't fictitious, don't tell him because even men whose wife where kidnapped and later released the moment they are aware that she was raped they see her dirty and distance themselves from her not to talk of intentionally cheating on him. In my own tradition she will have to do proper spiritual cleansing before the man would accept her back. Tell me which modern man will go through all these humiliation involving his family members too and still welcome you with open hands? Most women in politics, banks , force and Civil servants commits adultery in order to get favour. Some are doing it for the good of the family while some greed and " mistakes" like yours. Most women commits abortion before getting married how many inform their spouse the number of times. For religious sake its wrong which makes it a sin but for your own good bend the principle of morality and conscience because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Just look at them.. If na man cheat now all the women will say all men are the same... Walks out angrily.. Nonsense..



Op.. If you don't confess, it will eat you up and you will die of depression .. But if you confess, he may or may not send you packing.. So whichever rocks your boat.


Now if I see any woman saying men are cheats.. I fit curse that person generation...

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

the devil is just tormenting you wit guilt
it is not God that is making you go through this depression... but the devil
Remember he is an accuser of the brethren
Christ forgives you and your sins he remember no more...
so forgive yourself and move on...
refuse to be guilty...

grossintel:
Madam God has forgiven you, go and sin no more. But don't tell him, men can't handle infidelity. Just don't do it anymore and love him, confessing to him is ending your marriage .

sir,
it's not correct to say men can't handle infidelity.
it depends on the kind of man,( a man who loves, who is tough and have the fear of God can handle such)
my submission

MisterGrace:


Wow! You are wicked with a demonic heart. Really?

Pragmatism man...

So you'd rather have a home broken, a man emotionally scarred for life, and a remorseful woman disgraced - just to satisfy your sadism, concealed behind morality.

4 Q

Ishilove:

Answer these questions:

Do you feel God has forgiven you?

Have you genuinely repented?

Are you ready for the ramifications? The ramifications include: Being sent packing and the shame it will bring your family. If you're not sent packing, your husband may never trust you again and will keep reminding you of your past mistake. He will hang it over your head like Shakespeare's sword of Damocles.

Please answer the above.

This is why one should never commit a sin you can't make restitution for. The truth is her sins will still remain until she does restitution; that is, confess to her hubby.