Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,213 members, 7,957,480 topics. Date: Tuesday, 24 September 2024 at 01:25 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. (57239 Views)
Please How Do I Stop This / "Suitors Now Prefer Our Maids To Our Daughters For Marriage" - Nigerian Parents / 10 Things Parents Should Moderate In Their Children In Nigeria (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by okezuoemmanue(m): 12:02am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Make I ask you the op, ur papa knows about this stuff? Na 9ja papas now adays no dey waste time to disown dia children. Cos spare deyMake I ask you the op, ur papa knows about this stuff? Na 9ja papas now adays no dey waste time to disown dia children. Cos spare deyMake I ask you the op, ur papa knows about this stuff? Na 9ja papas now adays no dey waste time to disown dia children. Cos spare dey |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Buchi95(m): 12:04am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Please can you keep quiet if you do not know what it means to write and see the writing stolen. BroZuma: 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by DatLagboi(m): 12:08am On Jun 28, 2017 |
LegendaryArnold:na una op they talk about |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by erico2k2(m): 12:10am On Jun 28, 2017 |
DatLagboi: |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Nyceguy92: 12:10am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Fourwinds: I did not misrepresent you, please. Below is from your previous response: ..."have u not heard of some parent tactically pushing their daughters to men to source for money.? and in d course of "waka waka" some evenetually get married through pregnancy in order to ease their burden.?" I need to be educated on how this refers to parents giving their daughters out in marriage. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Nobody: 12:18am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Buchi95: Problem is the manner with which you attacked the lady...she did not claim it for herself neither is she getting any financial or fiduciary gains from it. I understand where you are coming from and if the first things you type when questioned is an insult, I pity your audience. The write-up as I said earlier is excellent now act your age and have a wonderful career. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Nobody: 12:19am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Lordygram:99% is a fallacy and it's wrong assertion 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Appliedmaths(m): 12:22am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Funny thing is the eldest child would end up growing at a slow pace, may even marry late and end up with very little investment. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Nobody: 12:31am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Physicist: Bros you just nailed it. It is not wrong to help your parents with the work load of catering for your siblings. But the truth is that they now see it as an entitlement not minding the fact that times have changed. It ought to be a privilege. Let me give you an example I witnessed from a neighbouring family while growing up and my best friends family. The first son of the neighbouring family was able to open a barbing saloon through menial labour and also bought a bike to use for his okada business while struggling through the university with the little his parents could afford. His siblings understood the fact that they had to sit up and took the responsibility of managing the saloon when he had lectures or had to put his okada to use cos we all lived in a university town. Soon he graduated and left the saloon for the 2nd son, who too graduated and left it until it fell apart when the last son was in university. Almost graduating though . So you see the first had successfully laid a foundation for the younger ones to succeed without becoming a burden to him in the future. And the brothers also made good use of the opportunity except the last soon who didn't care much but at least made some good use of the saloon. Now my best friends family. Right from secondary school, we were born hustlers . In fact he thought me how to make money and his first business advise brought me my first 100k . We were good in business and eventually paid over way through the university with the business we were able to establish. We were big boys during our university days while studying law. While his siblings would hardly visit his shops, the few who did, almost ran down his business because they saw it as a means of taking care of their numerous girls and drinking beer all over town. While I had my then girlfriend (now wife) manage my businesses ) and she did a fantastic job with it. He was also lucky to have a well brought up sales girl who took charge of the business and made most of it. She even became the manager and face of the business . She was damn too good .Unfortunately they had issues during his final year as she was to go back to school. He had 5 siblings and no body cared about his business. So he had to choice than to sell when he was to go to law school in Lagos in 2011. Long story short ,he got a job with a firm on the island and earns 100k a month. This was someone that made not less than 200k a month running his own business. Now he is not married, barely makes end meet and he is the only grudate the family has. Pressure is on him to take care of his siblings but he chose to support the girl that stood by him back then (the sales girl) who is currently serving. Hope they get married soon. Bros ! his siblings had a golden opportunity but blew it. Non is making much now . Each time we meet for some beer and he is having financial challenge, you can see the pain in his eyes because the 100k can't even cater for him alone much more raise a family and take care of his siblings. Those who live in Lagos will understand. He lost the shares we bought back then as they are worth shit now and some of the banks have gone under. This era of siblings holding on the first born as their cash cow has to stop. First born should support when ever they can but they also need to send a message so that their siblings will stop seeing it as an entitlement and sit up. Many are now becoming wayward and lazy and often raise a family they can cater for and expect the unmarried first son to take responsibility. Some even drop the child or children with their parents who indirectly push the burden to their first son. Times have changed . Paid employment is no longer what it used to be. The economy is not helping . I hope most parents reading this and some parents like my self will take heed , so we won't want to bury our first son before we pass because I am a parent too. My friend Don dey get white hair and e never start life. Imagine all because of pressure. I keep praying things gets better for us especially for him so that he can at least start a family in his late 30s . Well ma my 1 kobo be that. 5 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by TemmyTee82(f): 12:31am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Nyceguy92: The problem is that, they usually don't have the money to take care of the remaining children because these same parents give birth to more children than their means can handle. Their thinking is usually that, they would train the first two or so children, and these first ones can then take care of the rest. Now these first set of children find it difficult to plan their lives on time. They slave for the siblings. And you cannot refuse to carry the responsibility for then you would be tagged "ingrate" by parents, "wicked" by siblings, and so on. Do I have to get punished because I'm the first child? Is it my fault I came first? 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Michealforever: 12:38am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Evaberry: You are are stupid lesbian. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by maklelemakukula(m): 12:48am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Evaberry:U dont think at all. U re a disgrace to ur kind ! 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by 2badForReal: 12:49am On Jun 28, 2017 |
If only there will hear this, a lot of parent are guilty of this, I have a colleague who's first child just celibate 5 years birthday and he is 50 because he was compelled to finance the siblings through school. Tell me when will he finishe training his children. To me success is when you see your last born through university. So if only you are the Methuselah of this generation then you can have more than 4 children 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by ImaIma1(f): 12:49am On Jun 28, 2017 |
uglodoh: I think the op is talking about those parents that just have children with no intention of training them but just training the first child so that he or she can train the others. It is a different case when life happens. But it is wiser not to have too many children no matter how fertile you are... to minimise future problems. 4 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by maklelemakukula(m): 12:52am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Nyceguy92:Y re u jst playing second fiddle. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Daeylar(f): 12:55am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Buchi95: wow, so you actually wrote this article and the op still hasn't credited you as the writer on the post, even when the op has acknowledged that you are the original writer. That's too bad, the op is busy receiving and enjoying all the praise, the op should have clarified that the post is copied and should have acknowledged you, That's what the op should do immediately. Ignore that person telling you how you should react. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by emmanugo: 12:56am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Evaberry:at first I wanted to inform.. BT wen I read to the end..I realized ders no need wasting my comments .. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by chukzyfcbb: 12:57am On Jun 28, 2017 |
also a first born child but never felt any of these pressures. Thanks to my Dad for hustling in his daiz and making enough to cover all our present and future expenses. hopefully I do the same for my first born child and kids, These stories are tough! 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by savagefinder: 1:07am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Evaberry:look at this wheel barrow.. Either male or female this is something that Happens in our society and its very wrong, I am not the first born but I know what our first child went through and she really suffered it.. You are talking of Africa, pls where did you get this your lesbian life from? What even concerns us with your lesbian life? Reasonable humans are talking and you just came to show your stupidity.. I am sure if we should type your name in sense.com we will receive an error 404.. With ur face like clitoris 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Nobody: 1:12am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Wiretransfer: Do what you can when you can for your family there will be a day they will be no more and you will have to make funeral arrangements all the money you refused to spend you will have to when they die so do it now while they are alive. Some families went through strife to educated their wards. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by EagleNest(m): 1:23am On Jun 28, 2017 |
sexybbstar: Very much on point. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Deeldorado: 1:29am On Jun 28, 2017 |
I agree with you this time unlike the gender equality ish. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by gokuu(m): 1:36am On Jun 28, 2017 |
uglodoh: Not true at all. Most Nigerian parents do not have plans for their children. They just move along hoping "God will provide" 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by gokuu(m): 1:40am On Jun 28, 2017 |
erico2k2:Oga, that's why you have what is called "SAVINGS" Even if you need help from the working child, it'll be highly limited since only two kids are involved. OP is not saying there should not be any help, it just should not be totally consuming and unbearable. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by gokuu(m): 1:42am On Jun 28, 2017 |
ivolt:Not necessarily, most in-laws come around just too much. Always hovering around and looking to grab something in this tough economy. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by gokuu(m): 1:44am On Jun 28, 2017 |
kratoss: Abi o, Why not refuse to use the internet of drive a car as well, and say "we're not in America"? 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by EagleNest(m): 1:53am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Nyceguy92: It's not the rarest. In fact it's common. Its how most African families are built like a step ladder in terms of responsibilities. It's not about roles we play while growing up - but the shift of burden of parenting to the first child immediately he/she starts earning money. And woe betide you if you have many siblings, you end up growing white hair in ur early youth. To make matter worst your siblings sees it as a right and have such great expectations that you are "supposed" to be successful so that you take care of them. I have seen a lot and I have experienced it myself but I was wise to set my goals early in life and insisted to follow that set goals to the latter... but that did not absolve me from taking some of those parental duties like paying school fees and university accommodations for my siblings even while barely new to a job of which salary can barely take care of me. The OP made so much sense because many a times the first child suffer in silence trying to balance things. In fact they sacrifice their joy and future to put bring other up. And if it happens that your dad is the irresponsible one or seriously handicapped financially, then you might opt to stop school to lessen their burden and contribute to the Commonwealth of the family at the expense of yourself. There are so many versions of this problem and I think it's high time this is brought to the fore so that parents should plan for their family and not transfer responsibility so early in the life of their first child thereby distorting things. I don dey vex now... 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Mofpearl: 3:25am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Nicely written Buchi95 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by omooba969(m): 3:25am On Jun 28, 2017 |
Evaberry: 1 Like
|
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by jiangchu: 3:52am On Jun 28, 2017 |
op im also the first SON someone took care of me after my fathers death. now that im through i shouldnt look the other way when my siblings are in dire need. |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by Pomlord(m): 3:56am On Jun 28, 2017 |
I have never experienced this before and im just hearing this for the first time. Family differs. In my own family we were trained to be independent, but love one another. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Parents Should Stop This. by GREYWOLF(m): 4:13am On Jun 28, 2017 |
That's the reason why poverty will never part ways with some families. Some keep small families while the others continue to breed like rabbits, the saddest part is that those miscreants produced by such careless parents always end up as terrors to the good people in the society. 1 Like |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)
15-Year-Old Indian Girl Married To A Nigerian Man Of About 60 Years (Photos) / Hospital Gave Family Wrong Baby Home, Called Family 10 Days Later For Exchange / Woman's Before And After Divorce Photos
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 90 |