Nothing is wrong with a man chatting with a lady, but the response he gave his wife begs for questions.

If a husband tells a wife that 'he does not owe the wife his faithfulness', my understanding is that the man may have caught the wife cheating in the past, even as a girlfriend so the OP should tell tell the truth if such event occurred. There is no way to give an accurate answer on this issue if that statement is not expartiarted.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room.

Thank God I live in the US. That is not to say Nigerian men won't cheat here nor does it mean men here won't cheat. However there is hardly a man who is bold enough to say such to a woman's face. It's easy to walk away from nonsense here, move on and have a very comfortable and happy life. I can only pray for you and encourage you to become self sufficient. A man like that is asking for something terrible to come his way. Be careful that you do not harm yourself with such a person.

Well since you asked for matured comments, i'm just going to sit here quietly and sip my cup of Garri-Water... like a boss.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

/
Mark 9: 47 "And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell"

Find out what body part is causing him to sin and do the needful. Hint: some call it the little guy.

\

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

that man is from a polygamous family

luminouz:

Counselor of laive

Yaff fain me reach here abi

Wehdone sir

humeeh:
Yaff fain me reach here abi


Wehdone sir

The spirits told me where u were

luminouz:
The spirits told me where u were

Lmao!Like i knew you still awake

Kerosene!

Daeylar:



I hope this your bitter truth goes both ways?
I hope you will also try and talk to your wife and also continually pray for her if she cheats,
i also hope you know that while you travel for a year and feel its normal to cheat then you won't have a problem with it if your wife also feels it's normal to cheat too
I also hope you let her know before marriage that you feel that all these are normal, and not that you expected her to just know.

if the answer to the above is yes, continue happily with your marriage,

I'm just tired of reading all these ridiculous statements, how can a man tell his wife that he doesn't owe her any faithfulness and someone comes out to defend such a statement and even says all men are like that. SMH

or op, did he state it explicitly or say something to that effect before marriage that he doesn't owe you faithfulness and you just overlooked it? or is there something you are not telling us? I'm trying to understand why he would feel so comfortable to say such rubbish to your face..

The problem with some Nigerians is lack of understanding especially this so called feminist.
where in the post did he suggest that he supports the husband cheating on his wife?

The lady asked for help on how to resolve the problem she's having in her young marriage and you're here with you're feminist trash .
So what's your advice to her now? to also go out and cheat or what?
People like you are the reason why we have so many broken marriages today .
Two wrongs can't make right. op if you truly love your man and want to build a strong family with him then you have to put more than ordinary effort

Funny enough majority of our so called feminist are either single or divorced

TheArchangel:
You are not a man rather a puppy. And you didn't think you've changed too. Oh no!!

This is a very silly post.

humeeh:
Lmao!Like i knew you still awake


Kerosene!

Kerosene Wey no dey sleep abi??
Don't talk to daddy like DAT naw
Or u want me to send my daecimatrons

herveze:
Hmmmm,truth is bitter and I know that some of u are still single or u are still enjoying the best part of good relationship,I pray that u will not face what this woman is facing in future,that time u will know that all men are the same,ask ur mum how she keep ur dad,she will tell u is not an easy task, and next time u don't av to call someone names (puppy) to pass ur message,that shows that u are not mature enough

Pls forgive her coz she knows not what she says.

My sister help me ask ur husy since he does not owe u faithfulness hope u don't owe him same, how can a man not owe his wife faithfulness in this era of HIV spreading like cough and women and men moving about with maggot in their private parts for ritual purposes. My advice since he is unfaithful I recommend steady HIV and STDs test regularly for ur own life and safety pls. Marriage is not do or die because marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured.

luminouz:


Kerosene Wey no dey sleep abi??
Don't talk to daddy like DAT naw
Or u want me to send my daecimatrons

Kikikikikikikikiki...I swahily laffed u....Daddy shuu sorry o.Don't comman scare me tonight

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Speak for yourself. I've been with my wife for over 11 years and I have been absolutely faithful to her.
Please enough of this. There is something called self control. I earn more than a lot of you guys but never give out funds to random ladies, gist with them, or hang out without my wife so I deliberately never create an avenue for temptation.
Please respect a woman and she'll Adore you.
I made a vow to forsake all others and cling to her on the Altar. Never hurt a living soul deliberately.

humeeh:
Kikikikikikikikiki...I swahily laffed u....Daddy shuu sorry o.Don't comman scare me tonight

Lmaoooooo!!!!!
Me dey joke ni joor....
Ur part of d family...can't hurt my sister naw....

Stand up for your right nt with confrontation but with respect dnt go through his phone dnt listen to women living happily in their matrimonial homes telling u otherwise pls respect him for your mariage your future and your child dnt let your six digits dent your mariage pls pls pls

sister don't believe wht ppl says tht all men are same.
a real man won't cheat in his woman.
some single ladies uses charm to snatch someone hubby.you just need to pray fo ya man..its not his fault but the devil..that is trying to spoil ya home..prayer is the key..so don't fight with him or argue over wht yu HV seen again just go down in ur kneels and pray..God can open his eyes to see his true wife.
and not go after everything in skirt.
don't go through his phone very often just give him his privacy..
I wish u all the best in your marriage.

Prevho:
Don't follow me that advice above.

All men are not like that! Quit generalizing.

Your husband claims he does not owe you faithfulness, that there is the problem.

He owes you all that, but I think this bothers on trust already, have you given him a chance to suspect you before?


He was not like that, something has triggered him and it may be from you or the friends he keep.

This is why you need a little drama in your relationship.

99.9% of men are like that. I am a man.... And I see things. Perhaps you don't have extra money to throw around... Once you have that and you have an active social life.. Infidelity is guaranteed. Its takes Fear of God not to catch the bug.

LoveWifee:


Speak for yourself. I've been to my wife for over 11 years and I have been absolutely faithful to her.
Please enough of this. There is something called self control. I earn more than a lot of you guys but never give out funds to random ladies or hang out without my wife.
Please respect a woman and she'll Adore you.

Bro...thank God for ur life....
Since u don't give out funds to random girls...hope u give to random guys....make I send u acct.number

luminouz:

Lmaoooooo!!!!!
Me dey joke ni joor....
Ur part of d family...can't hurt my sister naw....

Thank the good Lord,let's jejely go back to our thread o,b4 dem put us for nl prison for derailing this one

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

You checked your husband's phone and you found what you were looking for. Isn't it?.
Now live with it. If you leave, the Facebook girl will replace you. Just be wise. Pray and take care of yourself.

LoveWifee:


Speak for yourself. I've been to my wife for over 11 years and I have been absolutely faithful to her.
Please enough of this. There is something called self control. I earn more than a lot of you guys but never give out funds to random ladies or hang out without my wife.
Please respect a woman and she'll Adore you.

You make me laugh... Happy for you though. " you have been a real man"

How about giving you a connection worth a two billion naira with a lady to have relationship with outside your marriage. Think deep pls. ( its easy to say no, cuz you didn't see it in reality, but think very deep bro)

Men seek for risk, adventure, and upward movement. Its so clear you have been living in your cubicle. " it's nice" all the very best bro.

Asshole

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

spiritedtete:

99.9% of men are like that. I am a man.... And I see things. Perhaps you don't have extra money to throw around... Once you have that and you have an active social life.. Infidelity is guaranteed. Its takes Fear of God not to catch the bug.

Hey! Speak for yourself. I am very comfortable financially but have never cheated on my wife for 11 years. You are blessed to adorn her with all she needs and love her unconditionally Never to taunt her.
I see why some ladies never date broke guys. It's simply because they'll throw the money around when rich. A Lady is human just like you are. Respect your wife.
I wonder where you got your statistics from.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

msheeeeeew

a yeye and unreasonable man spotted!

your wife is one of the unluckiest woman in the world. congrats

Please ask yourself truly if you have any dark secret he found out, try and remember your pasts, someone might have told him or slandered you before him. Something made him change towards you, like I said interrogate yourself and your hubby. But yours will be harder

Anything added to this would be a waste of time

Jahblessme:
As usual nairaland resident bingos have started crawling out of their holes to tell you this is normal behaviour and ask you to pray.They are the sort of men your husband is mingling with encouraging him to be a dog like them because they have no self control & believe every man is born with no moral compass.

My dear OP,when he told you he doesn't owe you faithfulness what did you do?were you there looking at him like an olodo or did you defend your union and your beliefs there and then?I will give you small space for shock to settle in but after then what next?

Did you woman up and speak clearly ,sharply and concisely about your expectations to him?

Did you ask him if he doesn't owe you faithfulness are you also free to assume that you do not owe fidelity to him as well?

Did you marry an ancestor that you are a slave to?Your age gap looks like its from 8-10 years-did he pay for your schooling?Do you have a job and contribute to your home?Even if you do not work ,you care for your home and do housework,is that appreciated? I'm asking these questions cos that is what usually gives some people guts to misbehave.When you are helpless and especially have no source of income and they know it.Regardless,no one deserved to be hurt in this manner.

It is a free world and people are free to voice their opinion o but for a man to come out less than two years after marriage to boldly say he doesn't owe you faithfulness,he must feel you are waaay beneath him to be respected.

When you signed the dotted lines you did not sign up to be cheated on,you did not sign up to be exposed to STDs,please relay that to him without apologies.

I find it hard to believe that this man hasn't always been this way.No normal loving partner would be this bold.There are plenty issues lurking,there must be heavy disrespect in other aspects of your marriage ,its just that this one has pained you more than the others.

As you can read i'm not into begging or pampering when you are not at fault ,you should be the one who is begged and pampered after your discovery. If you begin to wail and beg and gnash your teeth,you will continue like this for the rest of your marriage-this is what the bingos will ask you to do to 'save your marriage',thereby putting you at a huge disadvantage and at the mercy of a human being like you(born of a woman just like you).Please learn to stand up for yourself-calm measured discussion ,no huffing and puffing,no begging.Just clear statement of facts.
After this discussion you can now decide your next steps.

Good Luck.

Man is not wired to stick to one woman, it's not natural, even David God's very good friend had lots of wives and concubines, if you are a man and you have only had a woman , please check yourself, something is lacking.

calabardick:



that man is from a polygamous family

and his lifetime vision ambition is to break his daddy's record by
by bedding 888 women before breathing his last.