spiritedtete:


You make me laugh... Happy for you though. " you have been a real man"

How about giving you a connection worth a two billion naira with a lady to have relationship with outside your marriage. Think deep pls. ( its easy to say know, cuz you didn't see it in reality, but think very deep bro)

Men seek for risk, adventure, and upward movement. Its so clear you have been living in your cubicle. " it's nice" all the very best bro.

Gush you. 2 billion you mean.
Hahaha for what and to spend on what. I don't have 2 billion but I'm very very comfortable. I can always make money but trust can't be regained.
We all met money on earth and will leave it when we die. I'd rather have a comfortable and happy family than much wealth. Ask Churchill if you doubt me

This too

@OP

selflessmaya:
OP, i'm so sorry to hear this, the disrespect is just astounding. you sound like a very smart lady with her finances in order. u dont need this man dragging you down. the whole thing about telling him you'll also owe him no faithfulness is unnecessary you did not settle down to play mind games. i'm sorry to say this but a man who cheats on you and shows no remorse when confronted is a lost cause, it's one thing to cheat and even if not remorseful, at least pretend to be... and it's another to openly rub it in and that to a woman who's with child.

talk to your husband and tell him that u will NOT settle for such treatment, you earn good 6 figures, you will be just fine, nigeria is full of men and finding one is not hard... dont accept this treatment, it'll not stop, you're still in your 20s and u have your whole life ahead of you, with or without him. i honestly wish i could tell u to talk to him but for a man like u described, it wont work. either make plans to accept this treatment for the rest of your life or make plans to leave and enjoy your beautiful life and move on. it's a very open and shut case.

you're lucky you're well-established, dont fall victim to the married and crying troupe, it's better to be happy and ppl think you're not. than to be sad and ppl think you're happy, you're the one who has to live with yourself so do right by yourself and talk to your husband and make it clear to him that if he ever cheats on you again, you wont forgive, he'll still cheat though cos he's that kind of person but the blatant rubbing it in your face is dehumanizing. this is a man not ready for marriage and if i were u, i'd walk away.. but no pressure, if u ever do decide to leave, just know you're losing nothing. this man is no prize.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

.. All men are like that " that's insane of u to say, I didn't even bother reading the remaining piece of trash you added

wait till u delivers he will be back,don't make trouble with him,knw when he is about to come home from work nd start praying for him let him catch u many times praying.nd behave as if nothing is wrong. thank me later

LoveWifee:


Hey! Speak for yourself. I am very comfortable financially but have never cheated on my wife for 11 years. You are blessed to adorn her with all she needs and love her unconditionally Never to taunt her.
I see why some ladies never date broke guys. It's simply because they'll through the money around when rich. A Lady is human just like you are. Respect your wife.
I wonder where you got your statistics from.

Awww bro you are so sweet.... Let me tell you something... Not trying to convince you though...

8 out of 10 of your friends will cheat, except if they keep it away from you.

The reality about marriage is this... Respect and honour your house hold; here is where men get it wrong most times, because they get carried away and allow a stranger collapsed that family dream they nurse.

I have been married for over a decade, I have seen things from myself, associate, and moralist like pastors etc...

There is no such thing as faithfulness to a woman... Painful to type this but honestly, its the truth. Good for you you have maintained a principle. But how long will you hold on, Hmmmm. I will be glad if you do that to the very last.

Now this is my point, women are wired strangely, but this is what they are looking for in a man "success and good name" it doesn't matter how many you married. Your success and good name is what they will always be proud of.

Disgusting crop of creatures

angelusbrut:
seriously, checking that phone is a no no to me. Am a woman but don't intend to die of heart attack caused by any man who will marry off any other lady as soon as u die.
Sister, look good and go down on your knees. it's the man's world..

nkpommpko:
Man is not wired to stick to one woman, it's not natural, even David God's very good friend had lots of wives and concubines, if you are a man and you have only had a woman , please check yourself, something is lacking.

Maximus85:


You checked your husband's phone and you found what you were looking for. Isn't it?.
Now live with it. If you leave, the Facebook girl will replace you. Just be wise. Pray and take care of yourself.

spiritedtete:

99.9% of men are like that. I am a man.... And I see things. Perhaps you don't have extra money to throw around... Once you have that and you have an active social life.. Infidelity is guaranteed. Its takes Fear of God not to catch the bug.

Why were you checking your husband's Social media status na so na go dey look for trouble where none exists...if your husband doesn't want you anymore you'ld have known by now. The fact is men are visual creatures and in these days of internet it only takes God....stop worrying your head and mind ya business...even in marriage there's a right to privacy.

LoveWifee:


Gush you. 2 billion you mean.
Hahaha for what and to spend on what. I don't have 2 billion but I'm very very comfortable. I can always make money but trust can't be regained.
We all met money on earth and will leave it when we die. I'd rather have a comfortable and happy family than much wealth. Ask Churchill if you doubt me

The Nigerian churchill? Haaaa common is a broke ass now... He is trying though. You are the one of many few saying they are comfortable with what they have? But it's a lie. We crave for more, success and even power.

xx

Prayers will do. My friend trust me, just table your complains to God Almighty as long as you don't break any hedge on your part you will see the positive result. So is not time for quarrels, fighting one another or avoiding him, show him love.

spiritedtete:


Awww bro you are so sweet.... Let me tell you something... Not trying to convince you though...

8 out of 10 of your friends will cheat, except if they keep it away from you.

The reality about marriage is this... Respect and honour your house hold; here is where men get it wrong most times, because they get carried away and allow a stranger collapsed that family dream they nurse.

I have been married for over a decade, I have seen things from myself, associate, and moralist like pastors etc...

There is no such thing as faithfulness to a woman... Painful to type this but honestly, its the truth. Good for you you have maintained a principle. But how long will you hold on, Hmmmm. I will be glad if you do that to the very last.

Now this is my point, women are wired strangely, but this is what they are looking for in a man "success and good name" it doesn't matter how many you married. Your success and good name is what they will always be proud of.

Funny you. Little wonder a lot of married women are becoming hoes. They have been emotionally battered to the extent they start retaliating. Don't you think blood flows through their veins too? how do you know they are differently wired? If they care only about success and less about cheating how come they fight and get so traumatized when they find another woman taking their place. Even mother Sarah couldn't stand Hagar but ordered her out.
We've got to be fair. About myself cheating, forget about it. I keep myself busy with God, Job and Family. No time for some strange ladies who were no where around me when my wife was cooking with ice fish and kpomo.
If you take ill today, I bet you those random girls will hop to the next guy. Only your wife will be with you and secure your future (Children). So why maltreat your only hope.

spiritedtete:


The Nigerian churchill? Haaaa common is a broke ass now... He is trying though. You are the one of many few saying they are comfortable with what they have? But it's a lie. We crave for more, success and even power.

You can be successful without hurting your spouse.
I crave for success so I can supply all my wife and kids will ever need and Not to taunt them.
From experience, invest in your family, and secure your future. Some years from now, you won't have the strength to club but you'll always ever have your family. They'll be your Joy and pride at 60,70,80.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

It's one thing to cheat and it's another thing to not show remorse especially when caught.

I really don't know what to say to you my dear. You seem to have entered a one chance marriage.

WOW, IT IS A PITY THAT THIS IS HAPPENING TO MY DEAR, I FEEL YOUR PAINS BUT I HAVE TO BLAME YOU ON SOME ASPECT DON'T EXPECT ANY SOLUTION FROM A FORUM LIKE THIS ALL YOU NEED AT THIS PIONT OF TIME IS TO GO ON YOUR KNEE AND PRAY TO YOUR GOD BECAUSE ON YOUR OWN YOU CAN DO NOTHING BUT WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

1. FOR YOU LADIES/GUYS DON'T GO THROUGH YOUR PARTINER'S CELL PHONES BECAUSE YOU MUST SEE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT REPOSITION YOU.

a. If you really want to leave long in life don’t read your wife/husband messages.
b. Don’t touch his/her cellphones when he/she is not there.
c. Don’t cross your boundaries.

2. IF YOU NOTICE ANY CHANGE IN HIM DON’T NAG/COMPLAINE.

a. Men don’t like it when their wives nag.
b. Don’t talk about them outside.
c. Still respect him.

3. CHECK AND ASK YOURSELF

a. Have I been serving him well?
b. Do I really make a good choice for him

4. THESE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT CHASE YOUR MAN OUOF YOUR SIDE

a. DIRTINESS: When you are dirty your husband will definitely lost interest in you.
b. DRESSING: Put on dresses that will always turn him on.
c. MANAR OF APPROACH: Watch your tongue

5. THINGS HAT WILL KEEP YOUR MAN (FAITHFUL)
a. PRAYERS: Pray for him always, your prayers will go a long way.
b. RESPECT: Show him respect
c. GOOD FOOD: Cook him good food always to tackle his stomach
d. SEX: Always give him good sex.
If you really want a man to be faithful to you as a woman just hold onto these key words
But if he don’t see any of these in you HE will look for it outside.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

YOU ARE TRASH! Your wife is pregnant with your child and instead of you to be supportive and loving for the 9months, you are looking for the things that will please you. I blame the women that raised men like you and I blame the women that raised the women that choose to be with men like you. Dumb piece of shit

[color=#990000][/color] na hard solution bt it wil help u in ur marriage find a good friend dat will help u out tell him or her everytyn dat apen he/she wil pretend like a guy toastin u, on d process u wil tell him dat u luv ur husband u wil nt cheat on him. d guy wil tell u dat ur husband cheat on u wit his girlfriend ooo u wil tell him no dat ur husband no dy cheat oo try to cause him, wat next make ur husband see ur text by styles no show him direct let him find out wit ur phn. him wil leave d girl n tell u everytyn notice trust friend dat wil help u out nt d one dat wil expose everytyn later

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

And who dafuq made you the representative to every men,better speak for yourself you cheating a$$ bastid

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Always making excuses for the man! If it was a man who came here to say that about his wife would you have said it's men that cause it and asked the husband what he's doing wrong?!!!

The hypocrisy is disgusting!!!

Jahblessme:
As usual nairaland resident bingos have started crawling out of their holes to tell you this is normal behaviour and ask you to pray.They are the sort of men your husband is mingling with encouraging him to be a dog like them because they have no self control & believe every man is born with no moral compass.

My dear OP,when he told you he doesn't owe you faithfulness what did you do?were you there looking at him like an olodo or did you defend your union and your beliefs there and then?I will give you small space for shock to settle in but after then what next?

Did you woman up and speak clearly ,sharply and concisely about your expectations to him?

Did you ask him if he doesn't owe you faithfulness are you also free to assume that you do not owe fidelity to him as well?

Did you marry an ancestor that you are a slave to?Your age gap looks like its from 8-10 years-did he pay for your schooling?Do you have a job and contribute to your home?Even if you do not work ,you care for your home and do housework,is that appreciated? I'm asking these questions cos that is what usually gives some people guts to misbehave.When you are helpless and especially have no source of income and they know it.Regardless,no one deserved to be hurt in this manner.

It is a free world and people are free to voice their opinion o but for a man to come out less than two years after marriage to boldly say he doesn't owe you faithfulness,he must feel you are waaay beneath him to be respected.

When you signed the dotted lines you did not sign up to be cheated on,you did not sign up to be exposed to STDs,please relay that to him without apologies.

I find it hard to believe that this man hasn't always been this way.No normal loving partner would be this bold.There are plenty issues lurking,there must be heavy disrespect in other aspects of your marriage ,its just that this one has pained you more than the others.

As you can read i'm not into begging or pampering when you are not at fault ,you should be the one who is begged and pampered after your discovery. If you begin to wail and beg and gnash your teeth,you will continue like this for the rest of your marriage-this is what the bingos will ask you to do to 'save your marriage',thereby putting you at a huge disadvantage and at the mercy of a human being like you(born of a woman just like you).Please learn to stand up for yourself-calm measured discussion ,no huffing and puffing,no begging.Just clear statement of facts.
After this discussion you can now decide your next steps.

Good Luck.

People like you think marriage is a theoretical based combination, a textbook situation where 1=1 in Nigeria is the same in the USA. From your comment, it is evident that you are a single lady and is looking forward to getting married, hence not qualified to advise th OP.

Like they say, single people give the best advise on marital issues but my dear, with this mentality of yours, you are going to walk out of all your marriages. And i guess OP is about to start walking out too.

Good luck

What you dont know wont kill you.to all phone snooping females,y'all will always end up sad...

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

Dnt trouble ursef,it's d state of ur condition,as soon as u giv birth he will turn normal again.,jst find something doin to mk ursef hapi..if u nid a friend to talk to pm me.

Madam u must have done something to him or disrespected him in certain ways u think is normal .just check ur self very well maybe he uncovered one of ur secrets.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

My sister,
Be strong.
Please Take it easy and pray to God for Wisdom

That is all I can say.
Secondly, try to have a more sincere conversation with him.
Ask him why he wants to be unfaithful (as you claim) despite you being faithful?
Soon, you will find out the reason.
That is what you would then address. The root cause

It is well with you in Jesus Name,
Amen

TheArchangel:
You are not a man rather a puppy. And you didn't think you've changed too. Oh no!!

I know what he typed isn't entirely correct but what is ur point? Cos i believe u were trying to make one.

Ignore him

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

My dear such is life, dnt let it hurt your baby im speaking from experience. Think.of your unborn and be geateful to GOD. Men always feel the need to explore, they feel boxed up most times.But keep praying for him and all will be well.GOD will do it trust me.

cococandy:
Disgusting crop of creatures

beauty

My response is coming late. Hope you get to read it. First, not all men/relationships are the same, so what works in one union may not be effective in another. Therefore, I will task you to cast your mind back to your "before marriage" acts. You have missed something along the way which made him find alternative outside.

Secondly, when couples have babies early in marriage, the man tends to drift cos the woman comes with acts/behaviors the man was not used to and a quick fix is a side chick. Retrace your steps.

While am not in support of a side chick, my experience has taught me that a sane man knows the difference between a wife and side chick. While the wife is for keeps, the side chick is temporal. In my case, my side chick back then made me treat my wife best and honestly indirectly. Now that she found out about the side chick, I am more calm with my wife and faithful, but I still miss my side chicks.

What she did was simple, she didn't take it as an advantage to find side-bobo or cause issues at home rather, she teases me about them and asks about their welfare to the extent that shame catch me and I had to delete them myself.

While you may not be able ti do what my wife did, I instruct you to find what brings peace and not rancour as rancour would push him more outside and not care whose ox is gored. Lastly, PRAY.

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Marshalxv:



The problem with some Nigerians is lack of understanding especially this so called feminist.
where in the post did he suggest that he supports the husband cheating on his wife?

The lady asked for help on how to resolve the problem she's having in her young marriage and you're here with you're feminist trash .
So what's your advice to her now? to also go out and cheat or what?
People like you are the reason why we have so many broken marriages today .
Two wrongs can't make right. op if you truly love your man and want to build a strong family with him then you have to put more than ordinary effort

Funny enough majority of our so called feminist are either single or divorced

Rubbish,
Did you even read my comment at all?
LMAO,
where did I ever say the wife should go out and cheat on him?
LMAO, I'm not your problem, please go and look for the cause of your anger

people like me are the reason we have broken marriages,
not the useless men and women that cheat on their partners,
not the op's husband who looks at his wife and. says to her face that he doesn't owe her any faithfulness,
not some men like the one I quoted who opens his mouth to say that all men are like the op's husband and that it's normal
it's people like me that are the reason we have broken marriages, LMAO

nonsense,
next time don't quote me with trash,
Read and understand before coming here to type trash

rubbish