herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

bamisho:


Always making excuses for the man! If it was a man who came here to say that about his wife would you have said it's men that cause it and asked the husband what he's doing wrong?!!!

The hypocrisy is disgusting!!!

herveze:

Mind you I didn't support the man but I am trying to tell her to take things easy with his husband by talking to him and pray for him not that she should fight with her husband

And to all ur questions,I didn't say that cheating is right for man but there is no perfect man nowadays even islamicaly or religiously cheating is not only when u av sex with another person's wife but cheating start anytime u think of having sex with another person's wife,now ask ur brother or ur fiance what he thinks wen he see beautiful woman or half naked woman online

ImaIma1:


Truth is you cannot speak for every man except you have done your research and taking the statistics of the whole men in the world before coming to your conclusion. We usually use ourselves...limitations,experiences and flaws to measure or judge the next person. The fact that you might not have self control does not mean that another guy cannot control his desires. Your own limitations are not general to all species of men.

Op your husband owes you faithfulness. If he says he doesn't, then you don't owe him either. I am not advising that you cheat though. And please do not believe all the bollocks about all men being unfaithful. Only the ones that lact that control of self believe that and try to generalize it.
He is your husband, your partner, your lover. Talk to him and try to find out what exactly the problem is. Except he has a wandering eye and pinis, you should be able to reach him.

TheArchangel:
You are not a man rather a puppy. And you didn't think you've changed too. Oh no!!

BioTeck:


Speak for yourself alone!...I'm 100% faithful to my wife and never double date when I was single. My principle about faithfulness in relationship is that I will never do it but if you dare give me the slightest reason to doubt you, you'd be discarded in a giffy...I don't give a second chance.

Prevho:
Don't follow me that advice above.

All men are not like that! Quit generalizing.

Your husband claims he does not owe you faithfulness, that there is the problem.

He owes you all that, but I think this bothers on trust already, have you given him a chance to suspect you before?

He was not like that, something has triggered him and it may be from you or the friends he keep.

This is why you need a little drama in your relationship.

LoveWifee:


Speak for yourself. I've been with my wife for over 11 years and I have been absolutely faithful to her.
Please enough of this. There is something called self control. I earn more than a lot of you guys but never give out funds to random ladies, gist with them, or hang out without my wife so I deliberately never create an avenue for temptation.
Please respect a woman and she'll Adore you.
I made a vow to forsake all others and cling to her on the Altar. Never hurt a living soul deliberately.

PaperLace:


THERE IS NO TRUTH IN YOUR STATEMENT!

ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME!
ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES!
ALL MEN ARE NOT INSENSITIVE TO THEIR WIVES FEELINGS!
ALL MEN DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.

It's people like you that gives small-small girls guts to generalize all men are dogs. Please, speak for yourself next time, or the men in your circle alone.

Men are everywhere, it's husband that's scarce. Husband that'll give you peace of mind. Not horseband that saddles you with the burden of "keeping" him.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

selflessmaya:
OP, i'm so sorry to hear this, the disrespect is just astounding. you sound like a very smart lady with her finances in order. u dont need this man dragging you down. the whole thing about telling him you'll also owe him no faithfulness is unnecessary you did not settle down to play mind games. i'm sorry to say this but a man who cheats on you and shows no remorse when confronted is a lost cause, it's one thing to cheat and even if not remorseful, at least pretend to be... and it's another to openly rub it in and that to a woman who's with child.

talk to your husband and tell him that u will NOT settle for such treatment, you earn good 6 figures, you will be just fine, nigeria is full of men and finding one is not hard... dont accept this treatment, it'll not stop, you're still in your 20s and u have your whole life ahead of you, with or without him. i honestly wish i could tell u to talk to him but for a man like u described, it wont work. either make plans to accept this treatment for the rest of your life or make plans to leave and enjoy your beautiful life and move on. it's a very open and shut case.

you're lucky you're well-established, dont fall victim to the married and crying troupe, it's better to be happy and ppl think you're not. than to be sad and ppl think you're happy, you're the one who has to live with yourself so do right by yourself and talk to your husband and make it clear to him that if he ever cheats on you again, you wont forgive, he'll still cheat though cos he's that kind of person but the blatant rubbing it in your face is dehumanizing. this is a man not ready for marriage and if i were u, i'd walk away.. but no pressure, if u ever do decide to leave, just know you're losing nothing. this man is no prize.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders. I

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

successinlife:
Op something is weong somewhere,i will tell you this plain truth,you should check yourself.Some men like myself would not talk much before taking actions.I experienced a similar experience though not within naija and not with a naija woman.we were together fot good 8 years and madam thinks my faithfulness is equal to lack of confidence to chase women outside the home,over confidence took over her.I am that type that believe in what i have,i love my partner and our kids,ladies close and far try to come into me and i always put them off.Then stories from my partner on daily basis,i have back pains,you always want this thing everytime,please i am tired etc then at a point i decide to look outside,i got a prettier lady than her.I am a frank person,i told the side chick i am no more happy with my partner,this is why i am dating you outside my home, she appreciate me alot,she wondered why a woman will like to let go of me or not doing enough to keep her home.At a point i wanted to call it quit save for the children because i don't want a breakup trauma for them,i don't know the type of man she will hook up with later.Mind you this is not naija,she would have the care of the children.Then i unlocked my phone and few days later she saw all our discussion,her pics etc,her senses was reset, she realised her mistakes and said she never think i can look outside,after three good months of her i don't care,after three months of not asking questions,i sleep in visitors room and she sleeps alone,i don't believe though that a naija woman will do same.At long last i called it quit with my friend and remain with my partner but i warned her i will not be nice the next time,when a man is too good ladies take them for granted.All in all, madam check yourself,no man will be crazy to hurt his wife.You hurt him somehow/somewhere,sit him down and talk it out,then adjust,invest on yourself,make yourself attractive to him,ask him of his day to day events at work etc.

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

herveze:
To be sincere with you,all men are like that including me,but I will just say women cause most of it,let me ask some questions,what are the things u av stop doing to ur husband? Are u still attractive to him? My experience I av with my wife was that when she got pregnant she started refused me sex and dress anyhow she likes, and to be frank with u don't expect men to forget all the enjoyment when he was single just like that,I will advice u not to fight with him but know what he want from you and also pray to God to bring him back to u,I know he will come back to you,that was what my wife did and I av changed now and we are happy

Prevho:
Don't follow me that advice above.

All men are not like that! Quit generalizing.
Some men are so disciplined that you are think they are aliens.

Your husband claims he does not owe you faithfulness, that there is the problem. So what did you do after that statement?

He owes you all that, but I think this bothers on trust already, have you given him a chance to suspect you before? I think your husband knows something about your past which is very dark, but he should have voiced out except you lied.

He was not like that, something has triggered him and it may be from you or the friends he keep.

This is why you need a little drama in your relationship.
_______

You have to seek out his friends, your husband is keeping bad companies and I mean it. They are influencing him negatively.

____
All those talking about trust, you don't just get people to trust you like that. There is nothing like trust at first sight.

Trust is like a phone battery, you charge and it can also deplete.

Trust has to be earned, it is not inherited. If the woman is checking his phone, I see no problem, her trust meter was needing a recharge due to his behavior, and he proved her correct.

Daeylar:



I hope this your bitter truth goes both ways?
I hope you will also try and talk to your wife and also continually pray for her if she cheats,
i also hope you know that while you travel for a year and feel its normal to cheat then you won't have a problem with it if your wife also feels it's normal to cheat too
I also hope you let her know before marriage that you feel that all these are normal, and not that you expected her to just know.

if the answer to the above is yes, continue happily with your marriage,

I'm just tired of reading all these ridiculous statements, how can a man tell his wife that he doesn't owe her any faithfulness and someone comes out to defend such a statement and even says all men are like that. SMH

or op, did he state it explicitly or say something to that effect before marriage that he doesn't owe you faithfulness and you just overlooked it? or is there something you are not telling us? I'm trying to understand why he would feel so comfortable to say such rubbish to your face..

angelusbrut:
seriously, checking that phone is a no no to me. Am a woman but don't intend to die of heart attack caused by any man who will marry off any other lady as soon as u die.
Sister, look good and go down on your knees. it's the man's world..

tomi87014:
Help, Trouble In My Marriage

Hello Nairalanders.

I have been married for a year and half. I thought hubby and i have been living happily and i would've swore he was faithful. A few days ago i saw that a random lady messaged him on Facebook and they got talking. I was shocked at first to see that he was chatting her up. Fast forward to yesterday I checked his phone and saw that himself and the lady had more conversation and what started as facebook chat had progressed from phone calls to whatsapp chat. The content of their chat seems they were eventually planning to hook up.

I confronted hubby but he wasn't remorseful and told me he doesn't owe me faithfulness and went on to sleep in the other room. Hubby and I pray together and are looking towards a very bright future together, this is not something i really saw coming from him. I am very troubled in my heart and pregnant for our first baby. He dozent feel any atom of pity that the whole issue might cause me problems and I have been wondering what has come over him. I am 100 percent faithful to my hubby and want the union to work out. I am at work typing and holding back tears. Please i need advise from mature people in the house, how do i deal with the situation. I am in my late 20s, he is in his late 30s.

lecturerdabo:
Sorry Sis!

You ve been married a year plus! Don't know how long you guys dated but believe me most fresh marriages suffer based on

lack of understanding
Feeling of suffocation
Mood swings as a result of pregnancy etc

Sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him(no shouting and drama)

Grant him some personal space(avoid going through his phones/social media account)

If possible, act like my wife by befriending the strange woman and showing her love(she might get discouraged if she still have conscience) [or threaten like 'area boy' or 'Nnamdi Kanu' depending on your assessment of her]

Please avoid nagging as that may push him out completly to the adversary.

ABOVE ALL, pray continually for him!