Martin0:


Calm down don't be too aggressive at people,hope ur day I going fine

hey you, it's going good..thanks for asking.

Maybe I come across that way but it just irks me when people are insensitive to other people's pain. she just opened her gob to pronounce him and his wife selfish when it is obvious that if he was, there wouldn't be this journal in the first place.

Kinda like, you embark on a journey and along the way, you find out that you are lost and not where you imagined yourself. Do you pause, find your bearings before you decide to proceed on, retrace your steps or take a different route?

Cockwombles like her would press on foolishly and blindly without utilising their brains, (you know that organ that allows us to process information, interprete what our senses our telling us, etc)

Anyways, hope you are good too, what you been up to? I'm off now for a run, pray I don't get soaked in the rain.

shaybebaby:

hey you, it's going good..thanks for asking.

Maybe I come across that way but it just irks me when people are insensitive to other people's pain. she just opened her gob to pronounce him and his wife selfish when it is obvious that if he was, there wouldn't be this journal in the first place.

Kinda like, you embark on a journey and along the way, you find out that you are lost and not where you imagined yourself. Do you pause, find your bearings before you decide to proceed on, retrace your steps or take a different route?

Cockwombles like her would press on foolishly and blindly without utilising their brains, (you know that organ that allows us to process information, interprete what our senses our telling us, etc)

Anyways, hope you are good too, what you been up to? I'm off now for a run, pray I don't get soaked in the rain.

Oh you,you are on point well atleast now your temper is cool..

Ok have a good time,will join you when u return,stay safe...

shaybebaby:

Fvck off will ya? Sheesh!

Risingphoenix12:
Had a great gym session yesterday. Read through the comments but I was so tired I couldn't lift my thumbs to be pressing phone.

Took another step in my healing process. I shared this link with one of my friends. She is 999% anti-divorce (lol). Will be interesting to hear what she thinks next time we meet. I'd been running a course on Coursera dot com. It's an interesting site with access to a wide genre of courses, from top universities around the world, to which you can enrol for a small fee. And for the first time in a long while, I slept all through the night - i guess I was swamped from the gym. But I also think it's because penning/ sharing my thoughts has helped in getting them off my chest. Thanks to everyone for the comments and also to those that are peeping.

Mehn... my thighs and shoulders still hurt.... i think my gym instructor has something against me.

Oya.. off to work.

Pls, I would like to knw if the courses offered r online. Pls info me cos I'm kinda interested.

Katier00:
take out the health issue bro. You are telling my story. I can perfectly relate with your feelings dear, i felt I was suffocating, i was so depressed and cried my eyes out. Finally i had the courage to leave with my 2 boys ( thanks to my family and fin group on facebook). Never again will i subject myself to this kind of torture in the name of marriage. I hope to share my story someday. You will be fine, just stay strong and if you need someone to talk to, am here

I see you and I hear you sis!

Yes they are. I also have the app on my phone so I just do them when I can and it's convenient.

sassyangel1:


Pls, I would like to knw if the courses offered r online. Pls info me cos I'm kinda interested.

Hey shaybebaby! Trust you had a good run.

shaybebaby:

.

Risingphoenix12:
Yes they are. I also have the app on my phone so I just do them when I can and it's convenient.

K, thks. Will check d sites .

bukatyne:


Can you pull up 5 of my posts where I told people to divorce at every little thing?

I am getting older than this shit.

Lol, I love you too.

Risingphoenix12:
Hey shaybebaby! Trust you had a good run.

I did, thank you very much for asking. Managed not to get too soaked.

Do you run (Outside the gym I mean)?

Lol... well I'm not much of a runner...i prefer long walks. Hopefully I'll graduate to running soon...

shaybebaby:

I did, thank you very much for asking. Managed not to get too soaked.

Do you run (Outside the gym I mean)?

yettymuse:
I see you and I hear you sis!

I see you greatest finster. The sky indeed is our stepping stone. Love you sis

Risingphoenix12:
Lol... well I'm not much of a runner...i prefer long walks. Hopefully I'll graduate to running soon...

Everytime I run, I remember that scene from wolf of wallstreet where Di capric and Jonah Hill had done too much drugs and were like "let's run"

You can start, even on your walks.. Runs interspersed with walking. You can gradually build up your speed. To quote Nike " Just do it!"

I remember that scene... after smoking crack.. .
Yea.. I'll gradually build up speed. Lool.

shaybebaby:

Everytime I run, I remember that scene from wolf of wallstreet where Di capric and Jonah Hill had done too much drugs and were like "let's run"

You can start, even on your walks.. Runs interspersed with walking. You can gradually build up your speed. To quote Nike " Just do it!"

Today was a long day... phew... checked my blood pressure.. 117/76 pulse rate 75bpm. Had dinner with a friend at an Indian restaurant (i thought the curry was going to be a bit too much but i guess we were lucky with our choice) . Life doesn't seem so bad after all.... it's always about perspective. Whatever happens.. You are not the first to go through it and you won't be the last. Life goes on....

A lot of people are damaged. Could it be faulty childhood? Growing up in dysfunctional homes? Sometimes i wonder. No one is perfect but some stories makes one wonder, why do people bother getting married when they lack self love? Without loving yourself you can't love others.

Lol. In reality, I think one of the causes may be ideals set by society/culture/religion/family/self etc. which indirectly make people want to conform. Especially when the ideals are unrealistic.

Alternatively, I think this is what makes life interesting. The variety of our experiences, and the liberality of our minds to accept the differences in others - as long as there's no threat/harm done to anyone.

Lastly, does saying people are damaged, and in the same breath saying no one is perfect imply everyone is damaged? Loooool... abeg make I dey go work.. o saro Thursday...

zed7:
A lot of people are damaged. Could it be faulty childhood? Growing up in dysfunctional homes? Sometimes i wonder. No one is perfect but some stories makes one wonder, why do people bother getting married when they lack self love? Without loving yourself you can't love others.

Risingphoenix12:
Lol. In reality, I think one of the causes may be ideals set by society/culture/religion/family/self etc. which indirectly make people want to conform. Especially when the ideals are unrealistic.

Alternatively, I think this is what makes life interesting. The variety of our experiences, and the liberality of our minds to accept the differences in others - as long as there's no threat/harm done to anyone.

Lastly, does saying people are damaged, and in the same breath saying no one is perfect imply everyone is damaged? Loooool... abeg make I dey go work.. o saro Thursday...

No perfect person anywhere, that's an obvious fact. But having damaged people going about causing misery to others is a problem.
You 'over-estimated ' your abilities. So your partner should pay for it. I believe i know your wife's medical condition, you should have allowed someone who really loves her to marry her. You come here to open a diary and 'gloat' after damaging that woman for life. I doubt if she'll ever recover from this. What's the aim of this thread? Restitution? Assurance? Better put that divorce on hold and work on your marriage. Trust me that woman sincerely doesn't want a divorce, she's probably saying it because she doesn't want to feel she's hindering your happiness.

Lol. Too bad you feel that way.
I know she will recover from this.. And so will i.
Life goes on.

Btw... why does everyone keep asking me what the point of thread is? When I've stated it like one trillion times already..

zed7:


No perfect person anywhere, that's an obvious fact. But having damaged people going about causing misery to others is a problem.
You 'over-estimated ' your abilities. So your partner should pay for it. I believe i know your wife's medical condition, you should have allowed someone who really loves her to marry her. You come here to open a diary and 'gloat' after damaging that woman for life. I doubt if she'll ever recover from this. What's the aim of this thread? Restitution? Assurance? Better put that divorce on hold and work on your marriage. Trust me, that woman sincerely doesn't want a divorce, she's probably saying it because she doesn't want to feel she's hindering your happiness.

Risingphoenix12:
Lol. Too bad you feel that way.
I know she will recover from this.. And so will i.
Life goes on.

Btw... why does everyone keep asking me what the point of thread is? When I've stated it like one trillion times already..

We ask because you seemed sober at the beginning, now it's all fun and laughter....

Lol. I already mentioned in one of earlier posts that it's my nature to always laugh. There are layers to being sober.. sometimes it just really goes beyond a keyboard and emoticons. Unfortunately, you can't see my heart..

Remember... we always see things the way we are and not the way it is.

zed7:

We ask because you seemed sober at the beginning, now it's all fun and laughter....

Now back to this... Let's be surgical about this...

If I'm a damaged person, shouldn't the logical thing to do be to extract her from the situation? Why force someone to be in a union with a damaged person?

In paying for it, don't forget we are both paying for it in our individual ways. I struggle to see how this is damaging her for life. I really don't think so. Unfortunate incident... yes it is... but damage for life? Habaa...That's taking it a bit too far.

And you know she sincerely doesn't want a divorce ... how? Lol.

zed7:


No perfect person anywhere, that's an obvious fact. But having damaged people going about causing misery to others is a problem.
You 'over-estimated ' your abilities. So your partner should pay for it. I believe i know your wife's medical condition, you should have allowed someone who really loves her to marry her. You come here to open a diary and 'gloat' after damaging that woman for life. I doubt if she'll ever recover from this. What's the aim of this thread? Restitution? Assurance? Better put that divorce on hold and work on your marriage. Trust me, that woman sincerely doesn't want a divorce, she's probably saying it because she doesn't want to feel she's hindering your happiness.

Risingphoenix12:
Now back to this... Let's be surgical about this...

If I'm a damaged person, shouldn't the logical thing to do be to extract her from the situation? Why force someone to be in a union with a damaged person?

In paying for it, don't forget we are both paying for it in our individual ways. I struggle to see how this is damaging her for life. I really don't think so. Unfortunate incident... yes it is... but damage for life? Habaa...That's taking it a bit too far.

And you know she sincerely doesn't want a divorce ... how? Lol.

Let me tell you, a person with health issues automatically is dealing with esteem, happiness, fears of the unknown, stigma etc. Then comes along someone who shows empathy, that person rekindles hope and increases the self worth of that individual. With the reassurance of 'I know how you feel', 'I will be there for you', the challenged person feels reassured. Imagine telling that person after a while that, I underestimated your illness and cant cope with the challenges involved.

Look, my man, I'm putting myself in your wife's shoes. I'm a man but I can empathize. You promised unconditional love which you couldn't deliver. People who have health challenges don't want to be seen as a liability or a bother to others, hence she will readily agree to your request for divorce, even champion it. In her innermost heart she doesn't want it, she wants a partner, someone to love her unconditionally.
Look, we all make mistakes but sometimes we learn to live with those mistakes for life. Life is short anyway, the pursuit of happiness is a mirage, it doesn't exist.

If I were in your shoes, I'll take this as my cross, learn to live with it. Sex is important but who is to say one can't become impotent tomorrow. Flaws will always exist but try to hold on to whatever it was that attracted you in the first place and let it keep you going. I'm not much of a speech writer but I sympathize with your woman and I know leaving her will scar her for life.
By the way I wasn't calling you a damaged person per say. Actually, it was a post I read here that triggered that comment.

[b]If I were in your shoes, I'll take this as my cross[/b]That quoted part is where individual differences lies. I have walked Op's shoes and I know what it feels. He may not be all right on this path he is threading, but I bet he has decided to choose HAPPINESS, which is the complete totality of an individual. Some crosses aren't even supposed to be your cross.. You get wearied and tired whilst on the 'cross carrying' journey. Sometimes, you need all the applauds and cheers and when you ain't getting it, you get tired!
I am not a party to PITY!

Op, why don't you share your wife a link to this thread? Just saying.

zed7:


No perfect person anywhere, that's an obvious fact. But having damaged people going about causing misery to others is a problem.
You 'over-estimated ' your abilities. So your partner should pay for it. I believe i know your wife's medical condition, you should have allowed someone who really loves her to marry her. You come here to open a diary and 'gloat' after damaging that woman for life. I doubt if she'll ever recover from this. What's the aim of this thread? Restitution? Assurance? Better put that divorce on hold and work on your marriage. Trust me, that woman sincerely doesn't want a divorce, she's probably saying it because she doesn't want to feel she's hindering your happiness.

U made a sad but very truthful point. risingphoenix, it's ur cross. U promised to love her in sickness and in health and this is wat u said in the presence of God, ur wife, ur family members and her family members. The only reason THE HOLY BOOK agrees to divorce is fornication (adultery) and when abusiveness sets in. It's nt green outside and no marraige is a fairytale except in Disney world. For the sake of ur children, don't give up on ur marraige.

zed7:


Let me tell you, a person with health issues automatically is dealing with esteem, happiness, fears of the unknown, stigma etc. Then comes along someone who shows empathy, that person rekindles hope and increases the self worth of that individual. With the reassurance of 'I know how you feel', 'I will be there for you', the challenged person feels reassured. Imagine telling that person after a while that, I underestimated your illness and cant cope with the challenges involved.

Look, my man, I'm putting myself in your wife's shoes. I'm a man but I can empathize. You promised unconditional love which you couldn't deliver. People who have health challenges don't want to be seen as a liability or a bother to others, hence she will readily agree to your request for divorce, even champion it. In her innermost heart she doesn't want it, she wants a partner, someone to love her unconditionally.
Look, we all make mistakes but sometimes we learn to live with those mistakes for life. Life is short anyway, the pursuit of happiness is a mirage, it doesn't exist.

If I were in your shoes, I'll take this as my cross, learn to live with it. Sex is important but who is to say one can't become impotent tomorrow. Flaws will always exist but try to hold on to whatever it was that attracted you in the first place and let it keep you going. I'm not much of a speech writer but I sympathize with your woman and I know leaving her will scar her for life.
By the way I wasn't calling you a damaged person per say. Actually, it was a post I read here that triggered that comment.

For real, r u a marraige counsellor cos this is ur calling. I pray n wish u sound like this in real person cos u jst said the REAL TRUTH. She too sacrificed a lot in this relationship cos even wth her health conditions, she took all odds, inconveniences and gave u two beautiful children. Pls, risingpeonix don't leave ur WIFE. U r causing her more pain anytime u give her dt ' this marraige is over attitude'. She can never ever forgive u even wen she pretentiously smiles. I also presume any sane n god fearing woman who agrees to date or marry u after hearing dt u left ur wife while she's sick is damn wicked n God has a way of dealing wth such wicked woman.

yettymuse:
[b]If I were in your shoes, I'll take this as my cross[/b]That quoted part is where individual differences lies. I have walked Op's shoes and I know what it feels. He may not be all right on this path he is threading, but I bet he has decided to choose HAPPINESS, which is the complete totality of an individual. Some crosses aren't even supposed to be your cross.. You get wearied and tired whilst on the 'cross carrying' journey. Sometimes, you need all the applauds and cheers and when you ain't getting it, you get tired!
I am not a party to PITY!

Everybody gat their own opinion. I guess he made a vow dt in SICKNESS ( u tot the sickness said on the altar is malaria or headache?). O, this generation of marraige jst wana eat ur cake and have it. That's y I doff my cap to my father who stood by my mother wen she was diagnosed wth cancer. He spent everything he had tillllll he became a broke ass. Even his BP catapulted higher Dan my mom buh he still stood, fed and bathed her till she died in his arms. I'v never ever seen my dad cry buh he crieddddd dt day, MY HARD HEARTED FATHER cried dt day(I'm even in tears as I type). My mom begged him to leave her alone dt she's causing pain to him buh my dad kept reassuring her sometimes, forcefully n stubbornly carrying her for her chemo. Nw, dts marraige. Even after 9 years, my old man has refused to remarry saying he can never find a woman like my mom.

Lol. In a divorce that she's gunning for half my possessions? Emotional move but suicidal.. lol

Marvel1206:
Op, why don't you share your wife a link to this thread? Just saying.

Lol. Unfortunately, I disagree. I hear your comments though but I believe they are coming from a perspective of fear. I am not proposing abandonment and I'll continue to do EVERYTHING I currently do.. we just won't be married. Threatening a woman that decides to marry me (which is not my intention) doesn't even hold water.. Lol.. I indeed respect your opinion, I just don't share them.

sassyangel1:


For real, r u a marraige counsellor cos this is ur calling. I pray n wish u sound like this in real person cos u jst said the REAL TRUTH. She too sacrificed a lot in this relationship cos even wth her health conditions, she took all odds, inconveniences and gave u two beautiful children. Pls, risingpeonix don't leave ur WIFE. U r causing her more pain anytime u give her dt ' this marraige is over attitude'. She can never ever forgive u even wen she pretentiously smiles. I also presume any sane n god fearing woman who agrees to date or marry u after hearing dt u left ur wife while she's sick is damn wicked n God has a way of dealing wth such wicked woman.

Your father is a great man! I Really respect him. Unfortunately, I am NOT your father. We are very different individuals with varying tolerance limits. Indeed they were both lucky to have each other....

sassyangel1:


Everybody gat their own opinion. I guess he made a vow dt in SICKNESS ( u tot the sickness said on the altar is malaria or headache?). O, this generation of marraige jst wana eat ur cake and have it. That's y I doff my cap to my father who stood by my mother wen she was diagnosed wth cancer. He spent everything he had tillllll he became a broke ass. Even his BP catapulted higher Dan my mom buh he still stood, fed and bathed her till she died in his arms. I'v never ever seen my dad cry buh he crieddddd dt day, MY HARD HEARTED FATHER cried dt day(I'm even in tears as I type). My mom begged him to leave her alone dt she's causing pain to him buh my dad kept reassuring her sometimes, forcefully n stubbornly carrying her for her chemo. Nw, dts marraige. Even after 9 years, my old man has refused to remarry saying he can never find a woman like my mom.

Risingphoenix12:
Lol. In a divorce that she's gunning for half my possessions? Emotional move but suicidal.. lol

Really? Never knew it has gotten to that extent. Let your instincts lead you.