Lalas247:

lol no worries
My dear tired jare couldn't word it better can't be bothered to modify ...
what I meant was you can have male friends but be very careful ...till his actions shows he is a good person in and out ..
@ the envy part not all who fight but mostly due to hating if no reall issue caused I.e you stating something about taking their boyfriends now a true girl friend won't dream of such only if they want what you have ... Envy

Yea, but I also mentioned guys do pretend if they really mean your matter. Lol, I know you're tired hope you enjoy the holidays. Good morning.
The envy part has been cleared, I understand better. Just roll with the right chicks.

SinglesandReady1:
Friendship with the opposite sex... Hmmn, i've never sn a guy who wanted to be bestie wit a gal from d onset. As the saying goes "na condition make crayfish bend", guy man toast babe no gree, so friendship wit no strings becomes some sort of consolation. "Anything can stil happen" they'd say.
Define the friendship if they want but whatever makes the 2 of them alone in a dark quite room or some secluded places redefines whatever definition was ho place. They chop and clean mouth and come out continuing to hide under the pretense of friendship when deep down their minds, they know the real truth.

Bro you nailed it. Most of them never wanted bestie tag, they were friendzoned against their wish. Wish I could like this post a million times.

I'd say this is probably (keyword probably) Nigerian/African thing. If you've schooled or worked outside Africa then you'd know that people of the opposite sex not related actually live together and most of them become friends and sex is/was not involved.

SinglesandReady1:
Friendship with the opposite sex... Hmmn, i've never sn a guy who wanted to be bestie wit a gal from d onset. As the saying goes "na condition make crayfish bend", guy man toast babe no gree, so friendship wit no strings becomes some sort of consolation. "Anything can stil happen" they'd say.
Define the friendship if they want but whatever makes the 2 of them alone in a dark quite room or some secluded places redefines whatever definition was ho place. They chop and clean mouth and come out continuing to hide under the pretense of friendship when deep down their minds, they know the real truth.

This post is so so shallow I find it worrying.
People meet under different circumstances so saying all opposite sex "bestie" is due to a failed "ask out" is pretty dumb (no offense). Two personal examples
1) I had an extra year in uni, so inorder to graduate, I needed help. There was a lady who was one of the best in her set, so I had to meet her for help. That was the start of a beautiful friendship and nothing close to sex ever came up.
2) Another great female friend of mine who's late now was someone I met at the back of a plane. It was a long flight and I was restless, so I went to the back of the plane and met her there. We got talking and found out we were from the same state and had other things in common and boom boom the time we got off the plane, you'd think we had been friends for ages.

Don't limit life to binary values cos it isn't.

PS As you grow older, you'd meet at lot of people don't limit your chances in life because you believe a relationship with the opposite sex is only for sex (no pun intended)

makydebbie:
Yea, but I also mentioned guys do pretend if they really mean your matter. Lol, I know you're tired hope you enjoy the holidays. Good morning.
The envy part has been cleared, I understand better. Just roll with the right chicks.

Gbam @ bolded
Morning dear .. na wa mods never move this topic yet

Lalas247:

Gbam @ bolded
Morning dear .. na wa mods never move this topic yet

My dear, help me greet lalasticlala good morning.

If U R Talking Abt Being Close Friends Wit D Opp Sex I Can Undastand Bt Besties I Dnt Knw. Pls Wat Kind Of Boundaries R U Talking Abt Here, I Hope It Does Include House Visiting Cos I Dnt Undastand Hw Close Friends Will Nt Visit Demselves Nt To Talk Of Besties.

Men this issue is complicated I think we should ask sir jorah mormont he has soo much experience in the friendzone dept

obiorathesubtle:

Mehn..

Someone should summarize this book

bus u are still alife



While do u go AWOL?

Precial419:
If U R Talking Abt Being Close Friends Wit D Opp Sex I Can Undastand Bt Besties I Dnt Knw. Pls Wat Kind Of Boundaries R U Talking Abt Here, I Hope It Does Include House Visiting Cos I Dnt Undastand Hw Close Friends Will Nt Visit Demselves Nt To Talk Of Besties.

By boundaries, I mean defining the kind of friendship. Tell him romance is not allowed if you're not interested.

adaksbullet:
bus u are still alife



While do u go AWOL?

Main man adaks..

Long time oh..


NL his tayad me

obiorathesubtle:



Main man adaks..

Long time oh..


NL his tayad me

on kora the subtitle mine good frnds



Am missed ur comet and ur seculent dick

makydebbie:
Bro you nailed it. Most of them never wanted bestie tag, they were friendzoned against their wish. Wish I could like this post a million times.

Thanks Debbie. What I said there is close to my personal.

Knew this babe for 6 years now, i'd wanted to date her from day 1, with marriage in view. She knew this. She just ended a relationship when we met. At 1st it looked like it will happen. We were together without agreement. She wanted friendship and I relationship. Along the line, her line got blurred and she was playing girlfriend. Our close friends don't beliv weren't dating, sometimes I don't believe too but since no official agreement I cant call it dating. She tells of guys who come approach her and other deep personal stuffs. We haven't had sex though there av been plenty narrow escape.. Got other girls am close with but she's kinda like #1.
I think we love each other, at least i'm sure of mine.
Ladies advice me on how to make her mine...

AnthonioAlsaid:
Firstly, I'm not of the school of thought that classify someone somewhere as "bestie" if you've seen the what I've seen you'd understand why.

Secondly, Men don't gossip abeg, restructure the kind of guys you roll with abeg

Finally...as Socrates said "an unexamined life is not worth living" implying everyone should set principles and standard for themselves.....boundaries should be defined..if you're rolling as friends let it be known and stated, if you're harboring sexual motives also state it.......





Makky mi love.....How you?

Secondly, Men don't gossip abeg, restructure the kind of guys you roll with abeg
The above is true but not all. In fact I have seen many of them gossiping especially the married ones

sunshineG:
This is a more balanced view, although I may not agree with everything

Friendship btw a guy and girl should be defined just like any friendship

Ladies should also be honest with their relationship status as you have rightly stated

Ladies are emotional but I doubt guys are any better, because guys are sexual being. That is the reason why it is much easier to seduce a guy than a lady

Anyway, nice write up. it is your view and you have the right to be biased with your view but this is a fair enough view

Correct

Well said sis... I will like to add that this issue is not one-sided. You as guy may not have any sexual/romantic intentions towards the lady but due to the love, attention and affection you give to her perfunctorily, she may start reading meaning and Catching Feelings. Ladies fall easily for stuffs like that. Even if she has a boyfriend and she keeps confiding in you whenever they have issues, definitely you'd want to be on your friend's side and you doing that may make her feel like you are a better guy than her man or you are more understanding.

No one is saying you should start doing away with the opposite sex or start despising them but set boundaries and there should be limits before your story will turn to "I don't know how it happened" or "he took advantage of me"

Cc:Lalasticlala

Lalas247:
I have an equal balance of male and female friends
Yes ladies can be a bit oTT but it's due to ENVY cause why hate on another it's pointless we all got Vjayjay down there but most would rather be petty those type of females u stay clear from .. friendship will always end up toxic , back stabbing n the rest


I think it's ok to have male friends or more male friends .... NL is not how the whole male race thinks
Maybe if you meet a guy on this platform yes high possibility they will Fuvk up .. high possibility they will act up (most have issues) don't blame them ...
but outside this forum and other social media .. it's easy to have long lasting male friends without having issues ... all this friend zone only a biggie on social media especially Nigerians .. no one makes a fuss about it in fact only heard of it here ..

personally a good balance of male and female friends
Take note: He will smile , laugh , comfort, play , have long convos , even tell you his secret ... Biko hold back because u can't trust a guy just like that ... not saying u can't be friends but be very sure and guarded a Real male friend never disappoints and you will always know by their actions

Kimbraa shinarlaura sexybbstar


Mynd44 are we friends

Na wa...Boss bae

♤See as people dey scream lala

♤ for FP, na wa oh→ the hustle just got real-ér

Prettythicksmi:
Lol, i don't have gfs cos mi o raye oshi.

Oshe.. Jeko mo

sexybbstar:

Choi!..I no fit do dat ne Oo .I'm currently not active on whatsapp,i should have msgd u.

Is this now the sister's club ?

supersystemsng:


Oshe.. Jeko mo

hahahaha gbabe!

makydebbie:
By boundaries, I mean defining the kind of friendship. Tell him romance is not allowed if you're not interested.

YES, u can say no romance bt dat does nt cover d part where things r bound to happen. if dey r going to b besties, i assume dey wld visit each oda. wat r d likehood dat dere wldnt be mixed up feelings

Nice one but assuming every guy who is a friend just wants to sleep with you and also for the guys any girl will make you cautious when making friends.

Before I thought friendship and love were separate you know you have your friends and the one you love but they are not actually Its intertwined a lot of marriages that started as friendships end up moving past the argumentative and backbiting phase even some evolved from ordinary friendship into a relationship most actions of love come out of friendship just your priority.

People rush to get married out of pressure but forget you need someone who will stand till the end of time by your side

If your looking for what you can always get you won't have time to give that bond to someone worthy. Take time to know people they perks and querks as friends and you will see the true beauty of the world we live in

I have friends that we don't speak often we don't see often but when we do that friendship still stands I have female friends and male friends who don't just want to get in your pants they actually want to make a difference till we are all gone

SinglesandReady1:


Thanks Debbie. What I said there is close to my personal.

Knew this babe for 6 years now, i'd wanted to date her from day 1, with marriage in view. She knew this. She just ended a relationship when we met. At 1st it looked like it will happen. We were together without agreement. She wanted friendship and I relationship. Along the line, her line got blurred and she was playing girlfriend. Our close friends don't beliv weren't dating, sometimes I don't believe too but since no official agreement I cant call it dating. She tells of guys who come approach her and other deep personal stuffs. We haven't had sex though there av been plenty narrow escape.. Got other girls am close with but she's kinda like #1.
I think we love each other, at least i'm sure of mine.
Ladies advice me on how to make her mine...

Bro I don't know what you're waiting for again if you guys love each other. You've know her for six years, I'm sure you know her flaws and imperfections so if you're comfortable with it and can contain it, make her yours before another guy does. Abi kimbraa?

lol,maky the time I spent reading this is worth it,,honestly many ladies have fallen into this trap of keeping make friends ..a good example is one of my girlfriend that started developing feelings for her male friend ,though I warned her but she wouldn't listen,,they dated for 1 year and broke up,,and believe me it was a fierce one..the relationship broke their friendship apart...biko, even when I have the opportunity to have many male friends around me ,,but I still curtail because of the consequences that follow..guys are nice but only 2% can stay as friends without at a point developing feelings for the female folk..girls be wise..thanks debbie this piece of information needs to be promulgated out as many ladies have become victim of rape and all whatnot..thanks bae,
cc:

mynd44 lalasticlala

Precial419:
YES, u can say no romance bt dat does nt cover d part where things r bound to happen. if dey r going to b besties, i assume dey wld visit each oda. wat r d likehood dat dere wldnt be mixed up feelings

It can always be avoided, if you know you can't control yourself around the girl or vice versa for the lady, then why visit him to get tempted and yield to such temptation? You can always see in public places or make sure someone is at home when you visit. This one boils down to discipline and self control. That's why I even said most boy girl friendship doesn't work out well.

Dillusionist:
lol,maky the time I spent reading this is worth it,,honestly many ladies have fallen into this trap of keeping make friends ..a good example is one of my girlfriend that started developing feelings for her male friend ,though I warned her but she wouldn't listen,,they dated for 1 year and broke up,,and believe me it was a fierce one..the relationship broke their friendship apart...biko, even when I have the opportunity to have many male friends around me ,,but I still curtail because of the consequences that follow..guys are nice but only 2% can stay as friends without at a point developing feelings for the female folk..girls be wise..thanks debbie this piece of information needs to be promulgated out as many ladies have become victim of rape and all whatnot..thanks bae,
cc:

mynd44 lalasticlala

Bae, you've said it all. Nothing to add again.

solasoulmusic:
Nice one but assuming every guy who is a friend just wants to sleep with you and also for the guys any girl will make you cautious when making friends.

Before I thought friendship and love were separate you know you have your friends and the one you love but they are not actually Its intertwined a lot of marriages that started as friendships end up moving past the argumentative and backbiting phase even some evolved from ordinary friendship into a relationship most actions of love come out of friendship just your priority.

People rush to get married out of pressure but forget you need someone who will stand till the end of time by your side

If your looking for what you can always get you won't have time to give that bond to someone worthy. Take time to know people they perks and querks as friends and you will see the true beauty of the world we live in

I have friends that we don't speak often we don't see often but when we do that friendship still stands I have female friends and male friends who don't just want to get in your pants they actually want to make a difference till we are all gone

Woow, you're good with words... I enjoyed the rhytmic undertone, which is indicative of a pure ( or a soul going through constant transformation ) soul...

Keep doing this... Wow. I need to adjust my use use of words...i've found someone ...OMG...lips sealed

makydebbie:
Bae, you've said it all. Nothing to add again.

lol..welcome,,you did better and I learnt alot

Dillusionist:

lol..welcome,,you did better and I learnt alot

Thanks Sis.

solasoulmusic:
Nice one but assuming every guy who is a friend just wants to sleep with you and also for the guys any girl will make you cautious when making friends.

Babe, you dey naija or Africa? But you always have to be cautious with friends and this goes with both genders.

supersystemsng:



Woow, you're good with words... I enjoyed the rhytmic undertone, which is indicative of a pure ( or a soul going through constant transformation ) soul...

Keep doing this... Wow. I need to adjust my use use of words...i've found someone ...OMG...lips sealed

Thanks but I'm not going through a transformation I already did it took being treated less than I deserve to know that we truly can change the world when we change our thoughts and reactions to certain things