Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,502 members, 7,819,823 topics. Date: Tuesday, 07 May 2024 at 01:15 AM

I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help - Romance (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help (61104 Views)

I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed / How Ladies Give My Fiancé 'Green Light' In My Presence, Not Minding My Ring / I Lied To Her That I Have Feelings For Her (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Bjergtrolde: 7:56pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.

When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days.

I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied.

The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?

You either come clean or if you want to continue the deception, start using tampons instead of pads.
Blame the tampons ...
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Nobody: 7:57pm On Nov 05, 2017
For me the only secret here is the fake virginity & lying to your sin partner you are a virgin whereas a former hoe you are

What else are you scared of again when you both have started on formication before the wedding? Even if you later repent in life & you don't confess this one thing to your partner, you are still going to hell on the last day.

Don't even bother putting on white bla bla whatever gown you call it.

Most people are their own enemies & the witches & wizards of their own life
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by ikevictor: 7:58pm On Nov 05, 2017
Are you sure it's only one man you fvcked?

If you lied to the "only man" in your life, why should we then believe you are telling the truth to Nairaland crowd

Madam try and be real for once.

1 Like

Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by naijaboiy: 8:01pm On Nov 05, 2017
Ishilove:
Smh. Just let the damn sleeping dogs lie. It's not as if you were the neighbourhood hoe, so what's the big deal?

Or were you the neighbourhood hoe??

You didn't have to lie about your virginity, but since you have made the mistake, just bury it and continue with your life.

You are bothered about taking vows before a priest with a secret hanging between you two, but aren't bothered that you have already fornicated with your fiance, and as such are not qualified to wear that white gown. White symbolises virginity, purity and chastity, and you are not any of the above. Most times we fool ourselves thinking we are fooling God and the world.

Don't create trouble for yourself, but If however you can't live with your conscience then confess and hope your husband-to-be forgives you and doesn't hold it against you in future.
But madam are you a virgin too? grin

2 Likes

Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Nobody: 8:04pm On Nov 05, 2017
My principle on this remains the same. It will never ever change.

I can end a relationship or divorce any woman, anytime and any place due to infidelity. I DO NOT FORGIVE THAT. Call me anything you like. Tell me if I have no sin I should cast the first stone. I have sins but I will still cast that stone when it comes to infidelity. Call me a hipocrite or any fancy name you like. All that will be mere talk.

I can never ever ever ever love any woman enough to condone unfaithfulness. NOT EVEN 1, 000 CHILDREN, 5, 000 BABIES OR 200 YEARS of marriage will make me keep such a woman. I don't give second chances.

Now the thing is, will your conscience allow you rest if you do not let him know? Will you have peace of mind for the rest of your life knowing your marriage is based on a lie? If your conscience will allow it then, no problem. However, if your conscience will not give you peace then tell him the truth.


But, note, if I am the guy, that relationship is over. Nothing on earth will bring it back. If you like cook the best dish, scrub the house clean, worship me and give me all the sexual fantasies in reality, I will end that relationship immediately. I don't care if I marry a woman that will beat me daily afterwards. When it comes to infidelity, I never regret my actions to end it immediately. Even if I marry a beast afterwards, my mentality is such that any thing is worth it as long as it isn't you, the unfaithful partner.

The relationship will be over. I am not broad minded enough to forgive because of love, or because of the children or because of the number of years in the marriage. I have a saying... Any woman that cheats on me should know from that day that she is only using extra time. No matter how long it takes me to find out, she will be leaving when I eventually do.

Now even if you don't tell him, what if one thing leads to another and the guy that first had sex with you tells your husband or someone the guy has told tells your husband? How will he take it?

Do not let anyone deceive you and say why is he basing his love on your virginity. It is what he wants and what he cherishes. Love did not make you marry a mad man or an slowpoke. You choose wisely based on your various criteria. He too choose based on his which includes your virginity. At the end of the day love has sentiments. There is nothing like unconditional love. Because the need to love unconditionally is also a sentiment.

In other to save your conscience and your sanity and future embarrassment, I suggest you tell him. A free and clear conscience is a real blessing. Peace of mind is a good gift one can give to himself /herself. But note that if I am your man, it is over forever! I will forgive you but from a distance. I will forgive you out of the relationship. And no man born of another man and woman, no pastor, no one, will make me change my mind.

Long story short:

1.Clear your conscience and face the consequences. But at least your conscience is clear and your marriage isn't founded upon a lie.

2. Don't clear your conscience and postpone the consequences. I say postpone because you cant be 100% sure that he won't find out in future.

Good luck.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by younglawya(m): 8:04pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.

When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days.

I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied.

The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?

What stuff did you do exactly�

1 Like

Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by ayusco85(m): 8:04pm On Nov 05, 2017
PhilipGallagher:

How can he possibly find out. She should not scatter her marriage before it starts. She needs to take this secret to her grave. #MyOpinion

You Mr Philip Gallagher is a great man. For giving her that advice to take the secret to the grave. In this world u can't be 100% honest. If u are 50% honest it's too much.
She surely cannot be a great woman. Ur ability to lie determine the height u will reach in life. Only the wise will understand

2 Likes

Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Harmonyemerald(f): 8:05pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.

When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days.

I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied.

The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?

Better let the sleeping down lie... Men don't understand things like that especially when you are desperate to want them to understand. Even if he forgives you, he will always have that nagging thought wondering what else you have lied about. In the future, he will always second guess what you say.... this lie has lingered too long that trying to undo it will create alot of harm and no good..... please delete that incident from your brain and move on. Don't start beating drum that you can't dance to
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Nobody: 8:07pm On Nov 05, 2017
But why lie?
A guy that will love you will love you no matter what.
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by etimocity(m): 8:08pm On Nov 05, 2017
my sister keep silence and go a head with your marriage we all have sin and fall short in the glory of God. none is perfect confess your sin to God he will forgive you. can you been able to confess all the lies you have been lieing sin when you burn to that man? if no. then' there is no need of you confessing one particular sin or lie to any man on earth and live others behind.make sure you stick perfect to your husband.
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by samsam2019: 8:10pm On Nov 05, 2017
You have had sex already and he's not complaining.



The way I see it it's like you want to create a problem that doesn't exist for yourself.


You have not down anything wrong abeg. Virgin no, viagra ni
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Crossguy: 8:10pm On Nov 05, 2017
Fight your fight
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Nobody: 8:14pm On Nov 05, 2017
Adaumunocha:
Tell him. If he truly loves u, it shouldn't b a problem.

yeye dey smell like say if na u .....u go fit tell am fake liar
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Free4tope(m): 8:25pm On Nov 05, 2017
Concerning your question. He needs to know the truth but before you tell him the truth, pray very well. Seek for help from trusted Man of God.

Both of you need special prayers and counseling.

God will have mercy on you in Jesus name.

Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.

When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days.

I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied.

The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by jstar376(m): 8:26pm On Nov 05, 2017
Trust me babe, if u tell him now before ur marriage he will trust u more than before........put it in prayer for him to understand u nd tell him NOW!
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by rosalieene(f): 8:27pm On Nov 05, 2017
I will advise you keep quiet.


For the very fact that you did some stuffs just so it will seem as if you are a virgin, he won't believe you even if you told him it was just once@15yrs..... He would feel you lieing.
the trust would be broken even while Married
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by thunderbabs: 8:27pm On Nov 05, 2017
SPOILT9JAOLOSHO:

Baddext guy sighted

M not a spoilt olosho ooo...just curious nooni. Its gud to learn, u knw cool
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by chuckjonesautos: 8:28pm On Nov 05, 2017
1StopRudeness:


Babe... When you say a man had sex with you... Are u trying to tell us u were raped, or because u were young u feel it doesn't qualify as sex
You've eaten ur cake or should I say ur cake has been eaten.. which ever way you want to still have the cake.
Uve made mistake by lieing, u now went further to cover up the lie by making ur inexperienced to husband to feel he got a tear rubber..... If the guilty conscience is too much for you.. Tell him.. But brace ur self... The storm that will follow will come in Serious batches...
But this is my advice... Bone the parole... There is a saying :let sleeping dogs lie..... Ur case is a perfect example of such a saying...

No use ur hand pour sand for ur garri ooo

Wise advice.
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Modelling(f): 8:28pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cedarseeds:

After the whole lies, the one that bothers me most is the stuffs you said you did to your v~~gi in other to cover up for the lies (what was that stuffs? Something fishy here can smbdy reason with me here, too bad. If you have the gut to do some stuffs like that because you had s~x once when you were 15, to me you can go extra mile and hence can not be trusted (in fact, it may not just be that one you had @ 15 and thats why you're feeling guilty. However, if thats just the case, I dont see your reason for wanting to spoil ur marriage. let the sleeping dog lie, GO & SIN NO MORE. #Myownopinion
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by bereto(m): 8:30pm On Nov 05, 2017
This is a very stupid situation, first of all what wanted getting married to a virgin, that ship has sailed and all thanks to him, secondly what if the relationship didn't work he will move on looking for another virgin when he himself is not SHM anyway its simple ask him if he is a virgin cuz he must have had other girlfriends if he says no then tell him cuz since he is not he might understand and even if he says yes and you can MIRACULOUSLY trust it then tell him as only God knows what you might do next to cover up your lie. So my advice just tell him.
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Kooldon(f): 8:31pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cat Dey Sleep, Rat Wan Go Bite Him Tail? Why Are You Trying To Increase The Population Of Matured Single Gals? U Berra Keep Mute N Get The Ring
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by brotherMeigma(m): 8:32pm On Nov 05, 2017
Never build a marriage on lies. You shudnt be afraid of losing him. If he's really the one, he will stay.

What's d big deal gan? It's nt dat he is a virgin himself. Trust me i know.
My question is -wat pressured u to lie to him abt being a virgin in the 1st place? Is it dat u never trusted his love being strong enough to handle d 'not dt relevant' ish?
Wat makes u tink u can trust this love u both share, wen it comes to handling relevant tins.

See my advice na say make u tell am, so as to know if una love dey kajadly ready to stand meaningful tests in the future.
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by mzhorlah(f): 8:32pm On Nov 05, 2017
why lie Virginity doesn't keep a relationship.
it's better you tell him cause if he finds out, he wouldn't trust you again
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Ishilove: 8:32pm On Nov 05, 2017
naijaboiy:

But madam are you a virgin too? grin
Yep. The place has bagco super sack covering it.
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by olas24u(f): 8:33pm On Nov 05, 2017
Sham,you will never be trusted
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by kennypedia(m): 8:34pm On Nov 05, 2017
frenzyduchess:
Because of the mentality of people, now the writer stated that he thought she was decent because she was a virgin, I am sure that is one of the things that also motivated him to put a ring on it, they forget that even so called virgins are doing anal, go north, you go fear
Looking at it from all angles, it's better she shuts up sha
I never knew something of such happens, but anyway it's forbidden to have anal sex in Islam. Come to think of it how safe is it
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by SmellingAnus(m): 8:35pm On Nov 05, 2017
sinaj:
Thats the thing. No one will love been lied to. It really hurts.
very true love... I just love openness... I can forgive almost anything easily... I discovered it takes me a longer time to forgive a lie in a relationship than any other thing...
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by jaxxy(m): 8:36pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cedarseeds:
Some people won't read the opening post yet call me names. I was 15. I didn't even know what sex was. The man is long married and will never admit he did that. My fiancé wouldn't have believed my story then. I doubt he would now...

U know u hv deceived this man 2ce. 1st d lie u were a virgin and the 2nd d make belief 1st time sex. U hv just 2 choices now.
1. Leave things as it is and try to leave with it and never lie to him going 4ward or
2. Prepare to quit d relationship and tell him the truth at same time. U neva know he may see ur genuine remorse
And still want u atleast he's had sex with u now. Unless he's only sold reason for dating u was cos of the virgin thing and nothing more then he's not supposed to be ur man.

I gal once played this script on me bt she confessed afterwards I lost the love for her at first bt we still remained close frnds cos her confession was genuine. Funny I didn't care bout the virgin thing bt don't appreciate intense lies
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by temiprinciple(m): 8:36pm On Nov 05, 2017
my advise, since your conscience is disturbing you, tel him what happen in d past and never tell him you use something on your vagina to make it tight back. and let him know it never occur to you if you have been disflowered until he your fiance slept with you. safe your marriage! safe your conscience
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by ibietela2(m): 8:36pm On Nov 05, 2017
sinaj:
You better look for a way to tell him yourself even if it will cost you the wedding.
If he should find out himself he might feel betrayed nd hate u.

If he really loves you, the truth wnt stop him from getting married to you and if tries to stp the wedding just know he doesnt worth it.

I wonder why people lie to their loved ones sad

Hmmm
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by emmypero10(m): 8:37pm On Nov 05, 2017
go and buy super glue it's just #50 and patch it....brand new virgin
Re: I Lied To My Fiancé That I Am A Virgin, My Wedding Is In December. Help by Investorbj: 8:37pm On Nov 05, 2017
Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.

When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days.

I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied.

The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?
If i were u, I wont tell him. just keep it to yourself. Life is too short to care about all those things abeg.

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (Reply)

A Lady I Met On Facebook Gave Me HIV – Nigerian Man Shares Shocking Story / Young Guy Kisses And Proposes To His Old White Lover (Pictures) / Guys, What Physical Features Can't You Stand In Women?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 71
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.