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The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by ayusco85(m): 11:30pm On May 11, 2018
Ok
Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by chronique(m): 11:31pm On May 11, 2018
Toks2008:
In our early 20s we usually have all the time in the world to date and engage in romance with the opposite sex,we care less about their persona,background and intentions...often times we take for granted the very ones who sincerely desire us because at that point,commitment is the least of our worries.

Its also amazing to know that in most cases,we tend to fall in love deeply at that point in our lives when we never planned for it.

But as we grow older and we get into our 30s without any commited affair, we suddenly realize its no longer as easy as it was when we were far younger and we try to be very careful not to make mistakes and by so doing we make things even more difficult and complicated for ourselves....

Unfortunately at this stage,many subliminally develop gamophobia(fear of getting married) because there is no more time for long courtship and you don't want to marry who you don't really know,every person that looks attractive to us is a potential spouse...men see ladies at this stage as desperados. Most guys at this stage get confused and ladies at this stage become impatient and any affair running into a year or more makes them uncomfortable.

The pressure starts building from parents,friends,family members and even the social media dares not know you are single. Then we try to console ourselves with phrases such as.."Marriage is not a do or die thing,marriage is not for everyone" "it's better to remain single than rush into wrong marriage"....

The simple truth is that in most cases from a certain age, the more we advance in years,the more difficult it becomes to get married and the more careful we try to be,the more complicated it gets but only the singles at 30 upwards can understand this.

My advise to anyone in this situation is that once you see someone you feel any form of attraction to,drop your fears,do a quick due diligence on that person and if you are comfortable with your findings just take the risk and dare the consequence because no matter how long you wait and no matter how careful you may be,you can never be too sure of that person until you start living under the same roof as a couple and there is no good or bad choice of spouse but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it.

Don't know if this makes sense.
. End of story. First time I'm agreeing with you 100%

2 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by pocohantas(f): 11:36pm On May 11, 2018
chronique:

. End of story. First time I'm agreeing with you 100%

So men have finally agreed that they could be under pressure?
There is hope for we evening newspapers then.

Y'all will marry us last last grin

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by faithfull18(f): 11:36pm On May 11, 2018
Okay.

See my profile.
Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Toks2008(m): 11:38pm On May 11, 2018
pocohantas:


So men have finally agreed that they could be under pressure?
There is hope for we evening newspapers then.

Y'all will marry us last last grin

LMAO!
Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by blakky97(m): 11:38pm On May 11, 2018
greiboy:
in Nigeria that I grew up in

@Early


20s boy/men

Most can hardly get a girlfriend, most are broke with the exception of those from wealthy family, majority are in university. A huge number opt for the self service option.

Ladies
Most don't want to date their mates, most have high standards and believe they will end up with very rich prince charming. The majority of them hold great expectations for their futures

@Mid to late 20s

Men

Most are just getting laid now . Some are finding financial freedom. Majority are just having first relationships and first set of assets to call their own

Women

Most have now suffered countless heart breaks. Some are lucky to be married and won't stop flaunting their marriage status at the founts of the majority unmarried ones. Society and parents will begin to apply pressure on most to settle down. Some might start regretting actions they took in the their early 20s

Early 30s

Men

A huge number are now financially stable. Some might have settled down by now. Majority are feeling the pressure to settle down. Some are still reeling from heart breaks and feel they can't trust women again. Some have become playboys because of the relationship opportunities their new found financial status have afforded them.

Women
Some have become desperate to settle down as a consequence of societal pressures. Some have grown thick skin and have decided not to settle down again. Majority is now married but not all the married ones are glad.

best analysis so far and a perfect description of my life right now. I'm at the early 30s stage. its hard to get married for real at this because now i am looking for a specific kind of person

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by holyfather(m): 11:40pm On May 11, 2018
MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete
Yes, you only need the Internet to make you 'complete'.

I believe that when you're done with your Internet life, someday, you'd come to terms with realities of life, then we can talk.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Hapigirlxoxo(f): 11:41pm On May 11, 2018
greiboy:
in Nigeria that I grew up in

@Early


20s boy/men

Most can hardly get a girlfriend, most are broke with the exception of those from wealthy family, majority are in university. A huge number opt for the self service option.

Ladies
Most don't want to date their mates, most have high standards and believe they will end up with very rich prince charming. The majority of them hold great expectations for their futures

@Mid to late 20s

Men

Most are just getting laid now . Some are finding financial freedom. Majority are just having first relationships and first set of assets to call their own

Women

Most have now suffered countless heart breaks. Some are lucky to be married and won't stop flaunting their marriage status at the founts of the majority unmarried ones. Society and parents will begin to apply pressure on most to settle down. Some might start regretting actions they took in the their early 20s

Early 30s

Men

A huge number are now financially stable. Some might have settled down by now. Majority are feeling the pressure to settle down. Some are still reeling from heart breaks and feel they can't trust women again. Some have become playboys because of the relationship opportunities their new found financial status have afforded them.

Women
Some have become desperate to settle down as a consequence of societal pressures. Some have grown thick skin and have decided not to settle down again. Majority is now married but not all the married ones are glad.


You just analyzed it exactly the way it is. Very true

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by pocohantas(f): 11:41pm On May 11, 2018
Toks2008:


LMAO!

blakky97:
best analysis so far and a perfect description of my life right now. I'm at the early 30s stage. its hard to get married for real at this because now i am looking for a specific kind of person

There is hope, Toks!!!
Men are talking.
Not those small small cheedren in that section...

#yayy! grin

2 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by ayusco85(m): 11:44pm On May 11, 2018
greiboy:
in Nigeria that I grew up in

@Early


20s boy/men

Most can hardly get a girlfriend, most are broke with the exception of those from wealthy family, majority are in university. A huge number opt for the self service option.

Ladies
Most don't want to date their mates, most have high standards and believe they will end up with very rich prince charming. The majority of them hold great expectations for their futures

@Mid to late 20s

Men

Most are just getting laid now . Some are finding financial freedom. Majority are just having first relationships and first set of assets to call their own

Women

Most have now suffered countless heart breaks. Some are lucky to be married and won't stop flaunting their marriage status at the founts of the majority unmarried ones. Society and parents will begin to apply pressure on most to settle down. Some might start regretting actions they took in the their early 20s

Early 30s

Men

A huge number are now financially stable. Some might have settled down by now. Majority are feeling the pressure to settle down. Some are still reeling from heart breaks and feel they can't trust women again. Some have become playboys because of the relationship opportunities their new found financial status have afforded them.

Women
Some have become desperate to settle down as a consequence of societal pressures. Some have grown thick skin and have decided not to settle down again. Majority is now married but not all the married ones are glad.


Say no more. U just summed up the travails of single Nigerian youth (male and female). Wish I can like Ur post 100 times

9 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by chronique(m): 11:46pm On May 11, 2018
pocohantas:


So men have finally agreed that they could be under pressure?
There is hope for we evening newspapers then.

Y'all will marry us last last grin


We have never denied being under pressure. I as a person, usually avoid being part of any public discussion about marriage cos before we talk small, one of my big headed humans would bring me into the topic and next thing,na me go be topic of discussion. So many people you knew from way back, run into you and ask how is madam and the kids. You make a mistake in letting them know madam and kids are nowhere to be found, and you automatically bring up a topic for discussion. The easiest way out is to laugh sheepishly and say they are fine. Your parents also put you under pressure... It's same way for guys and girls.

14 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Nobody: 11:47pm On May 11, 2018
blakky97:
best analysis so far and a perfect description of my life right now. I'm at the early 30s stage. its hard to get married for real at this because now i am looking for a specific kind of person
May God grant you your heart desires. cool

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Nobody: 11:49pm On May 11, 2018
Toks2008 its been wife a while. Nice write up for one to ponder on. Bits of truth and reality in your article. Thumbs up.

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by chronique(m): 11:49pm On May 11, 2018
faithfull18:
Okay.


See my profile.

My friend, gerarahia mehn! We're talking that we did not see husband and wife to marry,you're showing us data;who data epp? Data kill you there. grin

7 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by pocohantas(f): 11:50pm On May 11, 2018
chronique:



We have never denied being under pressure. I as a person, usually avoid being part of any public discussion about marriage cos before we talk small, one of my big headed humans would bring me into the topic and next thing,na me go be topic of discussion. So many people you knew from way back, run into you and ask how is madam and the kids. You make a mistake in letting them know madam and kids are nowhere to be found, and you automatically bring up a topic for discussion. The easiest way out is to laugh sheepishly and say they are fine. Your parents also put you under pressure... It's same way for guys and girls.

No o, some cheedren in one section said men don't face pressure.
I don't wanna mention their usernames, but they know themselves sha.

Chai! E bad like that? Anyway, I am just happy to discover there is hope for us. We are together in this kiss

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by chronique(m): 11:53pm On May 11, 2018
pocohantas:


No o, some cheedren in one section said men don't face pressure.
I don't wanna mention their usernames, but they know themselves sha.

Chai! E bad like that? Anyway, I am just happy to discover there is hope for us. We are together in this kiss

Lol. Come let's go and hang leg on burglary proof and see whether tata will drop after 9 months. grin

4 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by ayusco85(m): 11:55pm On May 11, 2018
dumo1:

May God grant you your heart desires. cool

There is 95% possibility of u not finding that person, unless God will give you the chance to mould that person. Lower Ur expectations, if u find a gud girl, God fearing, honest, with very low body count, healthy, a graduate or undergraduate, level headed, from a stable family and she loves u and u love her, just go for her. U can't find that person with those qualities u seek

5 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by ayusco85(m): 11:57pm On May 11, 2018
blakky97:
best analysis so far and a perfect description of my life right now. I'm at the early 30s stage. its hard to get married for real at this because now i am looking for a specific kind of person

There is 95% possibility of u not finding that person, unless God will give you the chance to mould that person. Lower Ur expectations, if u find a gud girl, God fearing, honest, with very low body count, healthy, a graduate or undergraduate, level headed, from a stable family and she loves u and u love her, just go for her. U can't find that person with those qualities u seek

3 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by digitalman2811(m): 12:00am On May 12, 2018
This is True,the older we get,the more careful we become,thus the more time flies.

2 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Nobody: 12:02am On May 12, 2018
.

6 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Nobody: 12:03am On May 12, 2018
ayusco85:


There is 95% possibility of u not finding that person, unless God will give you the chance to mould that person. Lower Ur expectations, if u find a gud girl, God fearing, honest, with very low body count, healthy, a graduate or undergraduate, level headed, from a stable family and she loves u and u love her, just go for her. U can't find that person with those qualities u seek

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by IamaNigerianGuy(m): 12:04am On May 12, 2018
You're suggesting that people just jump in and take the risk... I think that negates most of the care and due diligence that left one single in the first place.
In any case, have you followed the news lately ? Infidelity, divorce, spousal abuse, murder. Most unions are unhappy ; people just going through the motions and too scared to break up.
The world has changed and the bonds and restraints on behavior are loosened. Compatibility was easier in the old days when financial stability was assured, and more importantly 'women never open eye'. Now women have unrealistic expectations. Each wants what Chioma has.
Men too can get sex freely so the urge to settle down is less....
It's a complex world

Better to remain single than be married to an incompatible.

Yes ?

Meanwhile, the search goes on ...

3 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by pocohantas(f): 12:08am On May 12, 2018
chronique:


Lol. Come let's go and hang leg on burglary proof and see whether tata will drop after 9 months. grin

No, na husband we dey find now.
Not p***k administrators angry

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Nobody: 12:09am On May 12, 2018
Lord knows, I ain't getting married...I'll just get me a baby mama dassall winkwink
Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by faithfull18(f): 12:09am On May 12, 2018
chronique:


My friend, gerarahia mehn! We're talking that we did not see husband and wife to marry,you're showing us data;who data epp? Data kill you there. grin

Oh sorry but without data you can't read the post neither can you comment. So,to cut the long story short,data help and is helping you. undecided

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by faithfull18(f): 12:10am On May 12, 2018
chronique:


My friend, gerarahia mehn! We're talking that we did not see husband and wife to marry,you're showing us data;who data epp? Data kill you there. grin

Oh sorry but without data you can't read the post neither can you comment. So,to cut the long story short,data help and is helping you. undecided
Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by chronique(m): 12:10am On May 12, 2018
Renegadd:
I've always said I want to get married and have only one child at the age of 35.That will be in 8 years time . for my own life I want my child to be 15 when i'm 50 and 25 when i'm 60. You decide what you want for your life path and go for it . No one but you can decide and make your dreams come true.

I said more than this when I was much younger. I remember saying latest by 27,I'd be married. 27 has come and gone a long time and still yet,no show. Better be serious with your relationship now cos when you get to our age,you'd just be seeing so much faults and commas in women and to settle down would be hard.

4 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Nobody: 12:11am On May 12, 2018
Biacan does marriage gist interest you? Aren't you too young?

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by chronique(m): 12:13am On May 12, 2018
pocohantas:


No, na husband we dey find now.
Not p***k administrators angry

I'm sure you know that by now,the journey from pri*k administrator to husband, is shorter and faster than the Israelites journey of yesteryears. You better do your face well, set nyansh well and receive the D. grin

4 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by IamaNigerianGuy(m): 12:16am On May 12, 2018
Pussickpunk:
Lord knows, I ain't getting married...I'll just get me a baby mama dassall winkwink

Baby mama would actually be the perfect solution all round except for the effect it has on the children. Nothing compares to being born in a complete family

2 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by Nobody: 12:16am On May 12, 2018
.

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: The Travails Of Mature Single Men And Women. by chronique(m): 12:18am On May 12, 2018
Renegadd:
35 to 40 is good age to get married and have kids.

What if I tell you that my friends I mocked way back,now have 18 year old kids and I have none? You see that gap?

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