Ejiod:

I shouldn't talk but it sounds from ur reasoning that u look like jambites... In life there's what I call Social intelligence. Try reading Robert Greene books. Sorry if I was rude to you but.....

Your monicker is familiar to me, are you prof

pocohantas:


Na me get all this one?
Chai!

ontop dx matter? me sef i surprise,

Jman06:
Your monicker is familiar to me, are you prof

Lol! Sounds right. Bros its like u have quintillion of neurons for u to recognize..

AmericanSons:
and who is saying they shouldn't? Can you guys just live life without talking about marriage?

People all over the world talk about marriage, dating, sex, procreation. It's not only Nigerians that talk about marriage. You have different dating and matchmaking websites all over the world.

OfficialDad:


The matter tire me. Marriage, sex and nothing else. Nah when we reach 900million people dem go understand ni ?

People don't seems to reason beyond this marriage issue, it seems their existence depends on it.

Hehehehehe...Bro, I'm with you on this...Imagine, every where I turn to they are always talking about relationships, marriage and sex. I wonder if anyone in africa talks about technology, aliens and planets. We leave it to the white, while we have sex and populate the earth.

This is why I think that crappy "Wakandan" movie doesn't represent africans at all...E too pass wetin we fit do!

Ejiod:

Lol! Sounds right. Bros its like u have quintillion of neurons for u to recognize..

Hehehehe....It's your good friend from UJ!


How's life with you??

Jman06:
Hehehehe....It's your good friend from UJ!


How's life with you

Yay! Pls lemme know , shey Jonathan,dusu or samuthani or who. I'm eager to know .
I'm fyn o.

dasparrow:


Please don't! Find something more productive to do with your time.

There is more to life than marriage. No thanks to Nigerians and their unhealthy obsession with marriage, I have such hatred in my heart for the so-called institution called marriage.

I am not going into it and there is nothing dumb Nigerians can do about it because I don't live in your country to begin with and don't hang around Nigerians in real life so nobody can tell me rubbish or shame me into anything I genuinely don't want for myself.

Lol @bolded. How old are you. I can only take you serious if you are 30+. Your lines are common these days especially from people who aren't yet healed from heartbreaks.

Espada10:


Stop sounding desperate. .I know you are trying to mask it as a joke with sarcasm.

It is one of the reason you came to romance section but along the way you find out that majority of the men here are waec and Jambites.

The few ones that flatter you with asslicking..deep deep down you know there is a red flag somewhere.

The few good ones that have something going for them...(rare though ). But they don't see you like that but as an enigma that changes with the wind. They just talk with you or poke at you. That is it.

You are smart ..you have already figured all this out( and also with the first hand experience you had here) but at the end of the day a woman needs attention( no matter from which direction )

If you are looking for husband or any serious romance..nairaland ( romance section ) is not for you expecially someone of your age and character.

All hope is not lost..yes, it is rare for 30yrd+ old man to marry a 30 yr+ old woman( at least in Nigeria)..it happens but rare but all hope is not lost...you still have many options. ..
1)men above 50yrs ( who may just say fvck it..let do this)
2) single fathers
3)widowers
4)Divorcee
Etc

But you can have you cake( the is the rare circumstances ).

if you are from a very wealthy family..then a nigger will just say let me do it for the money and connection even if it means closing my eyes. Economy dey some how

( I didn't say if you are rich)

Nb
ANYWAY , all this will not stop you from receiving prick..niggers can Bleep anything sha. .and they can smell an oldie a mile away( no matter the packaging and smartness)

As I said before..You know what's up.

You will make a good baby mama or a mistress or on the flip side ..a dangerous cougar who preys on young boys.

absolutely unnecessary tripe..

Marry a woman/man who inspires you, someone you have huge respect for not because of his or her wealth but because of his or her values, someone who has same value as yours and has good character n fear God. That's all. If you love someone once you stop respecting this person the love goes out of the window.

Ejiod:

Yay! Pls lemme know , shey Jonathan,dusu or samuthani or who. I'm eager to know .
I'm fyn o.

Hehehehe....it's Jst.............us (hope you'd code)

zicoraads:

Lol. I can relate to the land thing

I always always turn it down. The two places I was taken to, you could clearly see that it was poised to be overrun by the other shantytown close to it. One was on the cusp of being overrun by gully erosion. Although I was assured it won't happen

The problem is really structural here.

My parents called me and told me last year that before I reach 30, they would like to see the person I have in mind to get married to. That they are not putting pressure on me, they just want to see. It was very funny because in saying that, they were already doing it. Now as I'm getting into my late 20s, I sometimes avoid their call when I sense it may be connected to the fact that they are 'worried' about not seeing me around with any girl. It sometimes doesn't help that we are in the same town.

But it is what it is. Leave it as it is and I'll rather just have kids and most likely not settle down. Committing to one person was attractive once; not anymore.

I totally understand bro


We can only hope for a better structure, although the kind of leaders we elect have made it more difficult. Everyone is trying to secure the future, whilst taking little risks.

That's why most times, I avoid threads that condemn marriages, religion, our norms, etc. These things will continue to trend unless we address the main issues. If people don't go to Adeboye to pray for a child, where else should they go to? Hospitals where you have to wait 6 months to see an ill-equipped Urologist (since we have less than 100 urologists in the entire country)?

Most of our problems are structural.

As fast as possible, try and get that land o, may be in a better environment, because there are no mortgage or loan anywhere Build your own house, get your bore hole 'cos government don't care whether we drink from the gutter

Toks2008:
In our early 20s we usually have all the time in the world to date and engage in romance with the opposite sex,we care less about their persona,background and intentions...often times we take for granted the very ones who sincerely desire us because at that point,commitment is the least of our worries.

Its also amazing to know that in most cases,we tend to fall in love deeply at that point in our lives when we never planned for it.

But as we grow older and we get into our 30s without any commited affair, we suddenly realize its no longer as easy as it was when we were far younger and we try to be very careful not to make mistakes and by so doing we make things even more difficult and complicated for ourselves....

Unfortunately at this stage,many subliminally develop gamophobia(fear of getting married) because there is no more time for long courtship and you don't want to marry who you don't really know,every person that looks attractive to us is a potential spouse...men see ladies at this stage as desperados. Most guys at this stage get confused and ladies at this stage become impatient and any affair running into a year or more makes them uncomfortable.

The pressure starts building from parents,friends,family members and even the social media dares not know you are single. Then we try to console ourselves with phrases such as.."Marriage is not a do or die thing,marriage is not for everyone" "it's better to remain single than rush into wrong marriage"....

The simple truth is that in most cases from a certain age, the more we advance in years,the more difficult it becomes to get married and the more careful we try to be,the more complicated it gets but only the singles at 30 upwards can understand this.

My advise to anyone in this situation is that once you see someone you feel any form of attraction to,drop your fears,do a quick due diligence on that person and if you are comfortable with your findings just take the risk and dare the consequence because no matter how long you wait and no matter how careful you may be,you can never be too sure of that person until you start living under the same roof as a couple and there is no good or bad choice of spouse but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it.

Don't know if this makes sense.

Nice one.

But how do you do due diligence on the person you intend to marry?

Jman06:
Hehehehe....it's Jst.............us (hope you'd code)

Hahahahahahaha. I miss u guy.I fully get d code.
I've left Biochemistry even after masters for programming as data analyst with PYTHON.
are u stl with BCH? I have sent a PM so as to get ur contact.

Pussickpunk:


Hehehehehe...Bro, I'm with you on this...Imagine, every where I turn to they are always talking about relationships, marriage and sex. I wonder if anyone in africa talks about technology, aliens and planets. We leave it to the white, while we have sex and populate the earth.

This is why I think that crappy "Wakandan" movie doesn't represent africans at all...E too pass wetin we fit do!

bro na so o" Nigerians, They Will Hail U When U Give Ur Wife 'kondo' And Give Birth To Bouncing Baby Boy Even Though U Already Have Four Kids_ Telling U 'yur the man, u Win Ur Wife This Time ', Buh They Cant Encourage Fellow Men Inventing Something, rather call it crap

Pussickpunk:


Hehehehehe...Bro, I'm with you on this...Imagine, every where I turn to they are always talking about relationships, marriage and sex. I wonder if anyone in africa talks about technology, aliens and planets. We leave it to the white, while we have sex and populate the earth.

This is why I think that crappy "Wakandan" movie doesn't represent africans at all...E too pass wetin we fit do!

Technology, aliens and planets are obsolete discussion in Africa. We don't have knowledge to discuss about such important topic. But when a sex issue is raised, everybody would come on board and display their individual expertise. I weep bitterly for my people.

Wakanda ko , Jamaica ni . I v not even watch the film sef. Wakanda movie is that?

Ejiod:

Hahahahahahaha. I miss u guy.I fully get d code.
I've left Biochemistry even after masters for programming as data analyst with PYTHON.
are u stl with BCH? I have sent a PM so as to get ur contact.

Lol....na me miss you pass guy! I've tried all i could to get across to you to no avail. Hope you are still in Lag?
Wow! Guy, even you don leave BCH hey!
Ok, programming is cool!

Mhen! I'm now in pharmacy. I enrolled through D.E after service.

My pm is not working bro. Text me on 09051202500 so i can send my main (whatsapp) number.

I'm sorry Toks2008 but your post reeks of desperation from someone trying hard to pass on that desperation to other unsuspecting ones. Are you married? If yes for how long? Don't come and tell us to take a gamble and jump if you yourself have not lived long enough to see the end result of the kind of situation you're asking us to jump into. Don't say things like "consoling themselves with words like I'll rather remain single than marry wrongly". Of course that is a true and valid statement! Nobody should go into marriage as a gamble with eyes closed. You don't want to live the life of a man or woman who found out few months into marriage that they're not compatible nor even like their spouse. It's a terrible place to be. Many couples are already suffering in that situation. It's. not worth it!

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

you be witch?, sound like one

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

It's always like this when u r in ur 20s by d time u enter 30s sense will fall on u

pocohantas:


No o, some cheedren in one section said men don't face pressure.
I don't wanna mention their usernames, but they know themselves sha.

Chai! E bad like that? Anyway, I am just happy to discover there is hope for us. We are together in this

Men face alot of pressure too once u r 33 n has sth doing every one will be on ur neck to marry including well wishers like ur landlord

By 35 to 40 u dnt wanna see d desperation to marry which men face, for a woman u dnt wanna hit 30 yrs unmarried bc u will see hell

ayusco85:


There is 95% possibility of u not finding that person, unless God will give you the chance to mould that person. Lower Ur expectations, if u find a gud girl, God fearing, honest, with very low body count, healthy, a graduate or undergraduate, level headed, from a stable family and she loves u and u love her, just go for her. U can't find that person with those qualities u seek

you are right. the best one i have met is a chronic introvert. there is nothing i have not done to get her used to me. she is too shy. i have analysed it properly and i don't see that aspect of her changing anytime soon. when i was younger, i flowed with the saying that with money a man can get a wife overnight. but the reality of it is, with money, a man will likely get a bad woman overnight

Ejiod:

You are damn right..! See as Donald trump be acting like as if he's 40years. Feeling pressure is a relativistic factor..On my side. I'm quite scared of getting married because of my visions and plan. I have a blueprint I wouldn't want marriage to disrupt

There is an uncommon favour that only comes to a man after he gets married.

MhizzAJ:

I'll walk away
I take out time to study any man before going close

Hahaha....may be u are still within ur teen age or u recently escaped it.
By the time u keep taking this ur time to study men and walking away from men and finally realized that time has ran faster than u, you will start begging God to just give u anyhow man just to change ur name(though this is not my prayer for u). No amount of carefulness will take away the bad angle in a marriage.

Acidosis:


Lol, you can't even define an achievement. That's a pointer to the fact that no one has a one size fits all approach to life.

I agree society should not force or pressure women or men into this marriage thing. The pressure in Nigeria seems more because the entire political structure is weak, the future is even weaker. That woman in her 40s in the developed world knows she can always get the best fertility doctors and clinics whenever she's ready to birth. Even when she can't conceive, government's structures will handle her wellbeing upon retirement or old age.

You can't say the same thing for folks back in Nigeria. How many specialist fertility doctors do you have? How many families can afford IVFs? How many can even afford the illegal baby factories? How many old people's home do you have in your state? Who pays the bills?

It is a structural problem, and societal pressures sometimes don't go out of place. Mind you, it isn't only about marriage, but about everything including education. I bet you went to school because your parents wanted you to go, or your friends went to school so you felt it was the proper thing to do.

It doesn't work that way in the US, a lot don't care about college any longer because, with or without college, the future is bright.

As soon as you start working in Nigeria, people start advising you to buy land, that's why we have lots of shantytowns in the name of "real estate", it doesn't work that way in the developed climes. Government has provided a structure so people don't care. You cant be homeless even if you use your 35 years salaries on gambles. In Nigeria, the problem is structural and only the right political leaders can effect a change.

You are speaking Grammar

Is buying house achievement lol?

Abeg live matter and enjoy your life...

If you find good woman and marry congrats ( which is the subject of discourse)

My point is clear I do not support op's conclusion that guys should just pick anyone and marry just because it gets more difficult as they grow other.

As you get older and you can't still find it, get busy with something else. Shikina !!!


This world will come to an end anytime from now...

sisisioge:

It was so painful reading that! Don't quote me again biko.

like i knew it. R.I.P to the time i took to read that hogwash.

obongitiad:


Nice one.

But how do you do due diligence on the person you intend to marry?

Nice question...

In the days of old,our parents don't date or court,they get introduced to each other and that is it...but strangely enough,their marriages usually lasts compared to today where couple date and court for years yet the case of divorce is on the increase. What was the secret?,....due diligence...

The parents of old dig deep to the history of the prospective couple...they find out many things and they will go ahead to introduce the couple to each other only if they are satisfied with their background check.

You can do due diligence on anyone today by checking their social media accounts,ask people who know that person be it friends co-workers,church/mosque members,even exes(sounds stupid I know)...but these are just few ways of doing due diligence if you really want to k ow that person beyond what he or she tells you.

ogbiwa:
I'm sorry Toks2008 but your post reeks of desperation from someone trying hard to pass on that desperation to other unsuspecting ones. Are you married? If yes for how long? Don't come and tell us to take a gamble and jump if you yourself have not lived long enough to see the end result of the kind of situation you're asking us to jump into. Don't say things like "consoling themselves with words like I'll rather remain single than marry wrongly". Of course that is a true and valid statement! Nobody should go into marriage as a gamble with eyes closed. You don't want to live the life of a man or woman who found out few months into marriage that they're not compatible nor even like their spouse. It's a terrible place to be. Many couples are already suffering in that situation. It's. not worth it!

I'm certain you did not read the article well so go back and this time around...read slowly...

AmericanSons:
u dey mind dem? In Nigeria marriage is an achievement... Their mates in developed world's are touching lives making discoveries tech and all that but what do we have here?

Marriage, fork, born, add to the population of 200M...

If I say I no hate these people are their reasoning, Na lie I talk.

In case you don't know...the men in developed countries marry very early mostly in their mid to late 20s so get your facts right bro.

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

U need a woman to make u complete abi... Ana akogheri

AmericanSons:
and who is saying they shouldn't? Can you guys just live life without talking about marriage?

That is because the guys you refer to love GOD..they try to avoid immorality unlike many guys who claim they don't need marriage but will be getting down with random women...i call that foolishness and outright insanity.

The first instruction giving to man is that we multiply and be fruitful and we need to do that within the confines of marriage.

Any other way is sinful and unacceptable to GOD.

This marriage topic is a complicated issue. It is not easy for "WE" singles out there. Different men/ladies with their different patterns of cheating, but the joy of it is that, we'l surely be married one day and all the sad stories would add up to a happy, Joyful, and victorious home because it goes beyond been a christian or Prayer warrior, It is just a matter of goodluck