misreal:
Your hatred for the girl will not change anything sir..you either believe with your brother that God can do anything,or forever remain silent..

DopeAngel:
thank you fear. the thing is the girl herself is not ready to let him go. she still even calls him. her age factor is making her even more desperate. i dont care if the girl gets married or not. she should just leave my bro alone. i mean is that too hard for a lady to do? am so much pained. right now i have so much hatred towards the girl. right now i am thinking of giving her a very sound warning to stay away from my family or else she would never find peace. i would be very happy to be the black sheep that destroyed the relationship and save the lives of my bro's unborn kids. is it right?

Sultan5:


This is a very tricky and delicate situation. I am a strong believer in preventive medicine but also a strong believer in God. From a medical standpoint this marriage is risky. The financial and emotional drain a child with SS brings is enormous. It will eventually cause a strain between them if they are not strong enough. Not to talk of the effects on the extended family. And that's just one child, what if they end up with multiple children been sicklers. I can't even begin to imagine.

On the other hand nothing is set in stone. With each pregnancy they have 1 in 4 chance of giving birth to a sickler and 3 in 4 chance of giving birth to a healthy child. Those aren't bad odds if you are a gambler. I believe faith is extremely important. I remember a few years ago in Winners Chapel Warri, a married couple who were both AS were testifying with a new born in hand and 2 smaller children close to them. Am sure you can guess their testimony, none of those children were sicklers. Some can say its pure luck others divine intervention. What I will say is Faith is a powerful force don't underestimate it.

Best thing for you to do is ensure again they both understand the risks. If they choose to go with faith let them, it's a powerful force. Don't interfere, your brother is not a child and neither is the girl. They know the risks and have BOTH chosen to go through with it. As long as neither one is mentally unstable or unsound in mind, its their choice and they have made it. You have to accept it, try to put aside your own stance and support them because that's what family do.

Trying to threaten the girl with only make matters worse and strengthen their resolve even more especially since your parents have given their blessings. The only thing you will succeed in doing is alienating yourself and I honestly don't see what good that will do.

Please understand, this wasn't an easy decision for them to make and you adding to that isn't fair to be honest. Yes they have made a decision you clearly don't agree with but in the end he is your family. And she will be your family should this pull through. Family gives support so give it. I will just advice you to place it in God's Hands and let him stir the situation to the permanent site.

Chepos1:
My advice is to wait till the D-Day, then break it out when the minister ask of anybody who kno of any impediment that will make this TWO not to b lawfully joined together.

Then come n thank me later.

dayooye:

only few people are really making sense here, a lot are damn ignorant. i am in the same situation with your brother, got to know about the AS thing after 3 years of courtship, we were kinda devastated and it was as if the relationship has come to an abrupt end. despite our grief at that moment we decided to seek medical help, got more informed and we indeed found out there is a way out. I sat down with both families and briefed them, everything boils down to MONEY. I am capable of handling the financial burden of either IVF or PGD and we are willing to take it to the next level as soon as she through with her NYSC. just as AA and AA marriage doesn't in any way equals to HAPPINESS, AS and AS marriage is not equal to DOOM. the key is to be well informed and make a sound decision.

phemmyfour:
Don't worry, their eyes go soon clear after having like 2-3 abikus

ologun01:



It's 270,000 as at February sef

DopeAngel:
thank you fear. the thing is the girl herself is not ready to let him go. she still even calls him. her age factor is making her even more desperate. i dont care if the girl gets married or not. she should just leave my bro alone. i mean is that too hard for a lady to do? am so much pained. right now i have so much hatred towards the girl. right now i am thinking of giving her a very sound warning to stay away from my family or else she would never find peace. i would be very happy to be the black sheep that destroyed the relationship and save the lives of my bro's unborn kids. is it right?

andergirl:

Wetin be your own now,if your brother insists,please just join them in their prayers so they won't have ss children. Simple.

fawaban:
Leave them my brother. I'm AS nd my wife is also AS.im blessed with three children with any single SS among them.me nd my wife knew nd married with faith in God.Thank you Lord for ur mercy on my family. Support them with prayers ok.nothing is impossible for God to do.

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

ranmoor:
If your bro is rich or d wife, then there is no prob. They can conceive thru IVF. Using in vitro fertilization, they can fertilise the healthy cells and discard the sickle cells... They just have to make sure baby making is thru ivf..
Anything aside that is a real problem! Even the child will not forgive them.
Peace!

MYHUBBY:
if I need to answer the AS of a thing, I happened to know couples who are both AS but are married for 5yrs now with three kids


how did they do it, they use medical method according to them to verify the genotype of the baby in the pregnancy, when the pregnancy is still in the period of possible abortion, I don't know how true is that. once is ss, they abort the pregnancy and sleep for another one


the first was AS and the second was SS which they eliminate


if those two lovebirds can't follow a scientific and medical method, let them find their route

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

Jainine:



I cant go through any of your post without seeing the hatred you have for this girl. come on. I undswestand its annoying being that she is a nurse but cut her some slack and face your stupid brother they are both old for nothing, if he really think that one god will change it then he must be foolish.

Best you can do is talk to them. seat the both of them down and let them know the 4 options they have available to them.


First option is totally forget about the marraige.

Second is to proceed with it but instead they use a modern IVF technique to eliminate the chance of children having the disease.

Third option will be to conceive in the regular way, and then undergo chorionic villus sampling during the pregnancy. The cells are then checked for the disease. Parents may then consider elective pregnancy termination if the foetus is found to be affected by sickle-cell anaemia.

Last option will be to adopt.



But from you little narration about your brother i believe the 3rd option immoral to his belief, he will also be nonchalant about the second option since he is that way toward the genotype thing in the first place. And i believe the last option will be a wrong one for him too since he cares so much about where his mates are that he isnt, its easy to conclude he will believe his mate have children of their own therefore he wants one of his own too.
Which leaves us back to the first option. let them walk away.


please if you cant communicate this well with them refer them to my post, proceeding without a plan is a setup for heatbreak.