Ujujoan:

Honestly u r having too much problem with this guy. I think the break is a good idea!

Onchedu:

Ask him how long the break is to last. A guy who isn't acting like a girl would tell U how long. If he's not bitter or looking for time to paly around, keeping U on ice, he'll tell U.

I feel he still thinks a big deal of the age difference, and that myt be as a result of your misunderstandings. 12 years is no joke. It takes a lot of maturity on the part of both parties to really meet each other half way to make this kind of relationship work. means U have to conduct Urself as though u are at least 6years younger and he conduct himself as though he is six years younger. that's just the starting point.

Maturity is not a function of age. I've recently dated a girl 11years younger than I am and she conducted herself better than girls that were just two years younger than I am.

You should talk with your guy and ask him to come clean. Don't act in desperation. Just put it at the back of your head that U myt have to let go of him if it comes to that. being needy never had appeal with most people in matters of the heart.

28Schweet:

taking a break is as good as breaking up in my opinion,
i know it's unheard of with some naija girls, but had you already given him the forbidden fruit, resulting in why you cannot accept that he's looking to find someone else (general purpose of a break).

Onchedu:

U should have asked him immediately he told U. It's not to early. Sometimes the best way to keep something with U is to be a little indifferent about the possibility of loosing it, esp when it's starring U right in the face.

Ask him. Don't look like a looser when u do, if U are meeting hm in person, which is better. Look your best but in a subtle way.

When he tells U, keep away from him absolutely. No "Hi, I just want to check if u are doing fine" or any such lines.

Us the free time to add value to your life. and like I said, be ready to let go if he decides to break it off with U. it's not like U are married already so anything is possible.

28Schweet:

taking a break is as good as breaking up in my opinion,  
i know it's unheard of with some naija girls, but had you already given him the forbidden fruit, resulting in why you cannot accept that he's looking to find someone else (general purpose of a break).

Lacrissa:

So breaks always mean that the other partner is looking for someone else? And what is the forbidden fruit?

Lacrissa:

I might not see him for some days now. I want to write a note and leave in his place, should I include in it asking how long he wants the break for or I should just text/ask him through the phone?

Onchedu:

It's more common for a girl to use breaks as an opportunity to go do what she wants than for a guy. Guys ask for breaks sometimes just because they need time to focus on some other thing that is affecting their lives and when a guy does he normally would tell U how long he needs it.

A girl on the other hand, wanting to eat her cake and have it, usually asks for a break when there's another guy she's deeply attracted to and would cross carpet if he just asked her to. She asks for a break, putting one leg in one boat and the other leg in the other waiting to decamp. It's just girlie want to eat your cake and have it. Not fair tho but guys grow to know better.



No breaks don't always mean that especially if its a guy asking for it.  

Onchedu:

Chic, wait till U see him. This is not the time to write notes or send messages. your emotions myt push U to include more than U need to and if things turn sour, those things will make U feel worse.

Lacrissa:

So breaks always mean that the other partner is looking for someone else? And what is the forbidden fruit?

Lacrissa:

Ochendu I appreciate your words. I'm so hurt right now but not crying. I was thinking of sending him a text now he's at work to ask him how long. I don't know what to feel right now. Maybe if I have an idea on how long, it would be easier on me or follow what you said, asking how long when I see him again in person.

28Schweet:

so had you done the 'bedroom acrobatics' with him? for you to find it so hard to let go, it's only been three months , how inlove could you have been in that time,

Onchedu:

U'l soon make me angry cos it seems your bent on getting urself a harder heartbreak than U seem to be on course to. DON'T SEND HIM ANYTHING! WAIT TILL U SEE HIM!!!

28Schweet:

so had you done the 'bedroom acrobatics' with him? for you to find it so hard to let go, it's only been three months  , how inlove could you have been in that time,  

Onchedu:


your talking as if most girls nowadays hold it for even a week. I no know wetin una dey find sef wey to hold body dey hard una. Una and una mumsies dey relate girl to girl at all?

Lacrissa:

Ochendu I appreciate your words. I'm so hurt right now but not crying. I was thinking of sending him a text now he's at work to ask him how long. I don't know what to feel right now. Maybe if I have an idea on how long, it would be easier on me or follow what you said, asking how long when I see him again in person.

Ujujoan:

Will you just Shut up? Please? Thank you!

28Schweet:

so had you done the 'bedroom acrobatics' with him? for you to find it so hard to let go, it's only been three months , how inlove could you have been in that time,

Ujujoan:

Will you just Shut up? Please? Thank you!

You should have asked him how long he wanted the break immidiately he asked for it. But since you didn't, it's not wrong to ask immidiately.
It's not asign of desperation,you just need direction. You also need to find out exactly what the 'break' involves. Can you guys date other people?

A guy doesn't ask for a break after a misunderstanding except he was just looking for an excuse all along.

I know how hurt you must feel right now. Three months might seem like a short time to love someone so deeply but it's not!

But you might also want to consider the possibility that the r/ship is over . . for good! Like I said in my first post, maybe a break is really what you need.  

Onchedu:

U'l soon make me angry cos it seems your bent on getting urself a harder heartbreak than U seem to be on course to. DON'T SEND HIM ANYTHING! WAIT TILL U SEE HIM!!!

28Schweet:

[your talking as if most girls nowadays hold it for even a week. I no know wetin una dey find sef wey to hold body dey hard una. Una and una mumsies dey relate girl to girl at all?

i'm no naija-o, so you just confused the pigeon outta me,

@ Lacrissa, no it's not, but it's a major factor,

I agree it is but sex or no sex, I did or do have feelings for him.

Onchedu:

, And U are?

Ujujoan:

You talk as if s3x plays any role in how deeply you'll love someone. It doesn't! It only creates an illusion that a little distance/space will clear. Clearly she feels deeply for this guy and s3x has NOTHING to do with it!!

28Schweet:

i'm no naija-o, so you just confused the pigeon outta me,

Ur most def not a naija babe. Ur mind gave u out.

28Schweet:

I suppose she's @ his place now, waiting to serve him tea when he gets home, if she didn't have full access to this house, i'd agree no intimacy took place.

28Schweet:

I suppose she's @ his place now, waiting to serve him tea when he gets home, if she didn't have full access to this house, i'd agree no intimacy took place.

Lacrissa:

I'm at his place right now, maybe I should wait for him to return though I wanted to leave early so I could see him in person, ask him, then I could leave and somewhat move on.