Daeylar:
Nice topic.

It's quite pathetic though that some men when asked what a woman benefits from marriage immediately respond arrogantly with money,

After money what else? Nothing?

Definitely proving Ozzy's point that benefits are few and far between, but in this case, it's only one benefit. Which is money.

And if money is the only thing some men can point out as what women benefit from marriage, Then marriage definitely wouldn't interest ladies who do not see the fact that the man would give them money as reason enough to enter marriage.

Money answers all things. No money no love. Plenty money abundant love. Any relationship without money is a death relationship. Let your hubby lack money that is when you will know you never love him.

well, it's easy to judge the lady in question... prolly because you are single... but yes, she said the truth... when you get in, u will understand better... ppl in wanna pull out, while those out wanna get in.. lol.. but ask me again, it truly doesn't worth it..

Biglittlelois:
I think the society we are in especially Nigeria affects mind set alot, not every woman wants to GET married, not every woman wants to STAY married, some just wants to taste and leave, people do what society wants so that they wont be tagged different names, personally i'm indifferent about marriage, only advantage is to have a stable and safe fvck mate, have kids legally et al.

Exactly. Thank you

lots of marriages are going through hell.. but our society will never allow anyone to speak up or even walk away... when you get in, you will understand better... but yes, you have d right to your own experience as well... but truthfully, it doesn't worth it..

Marriage is beautiful, when both partners are kind, selfless, considerate and understanding about themselves and life.
If you run away from responsibility or scared of financial responsibilities even to yourself then marriage is not for u. Then if u are a wicked being or selfish being or too crafty, just Stay single and enjoy your life till old age.

Am not scared of responsibilities I take it head on and I don't see marriage as poverty alleviation either. Cos anyone who wants to stay and die single, be my guest. Lol.

Na your life. Arrange it as u see it fit. Simple.
Life is just simple!

What the hell is wrong with our ladies

Could literacy had affected a lot in the way they reason??

For crying out loud someone's experience in marriage can't be compared with another, of course they both had separate background.

Marriage remains the best and glorious institution to be in and if u've got a bitter upbringing either by parent or guardian then you are in big mess.

Guys watch out the same woman used to lure us to eat the forbidden fruit which puts the man into a big mess in beginning of the world is about to be used to truncate the foundation of marriage set-up by God.

Be wise!!

Finally, let's see in the next 30 years how those who feels they've got everything already and feels marriage is not necessary. They will gnash their teeth at such decision.

Our maker is not a FOOL!!

victorian:
Marriage is beautiful, when both partners are kind, selfless, considerate and understanding about themselves and life.
If you run away from responsibility or scared of financial responsibilities even to yourself then marriage is not for u. Then if u are a wicked being or selfish being or too crafty, just Stay single and enjoy your life till old age.

Am not scared of responsibilities I take it head on and I don't see marriage as poverty alleviation either. Cos anyone who wants to stay and die single, be my guest. Lol.

Na your life. Arrange it as u see it fit. Simple.
Life is just simple!

God bless you ma'am, may your oil of wisdom never run dry!!!

Famousqueen:
she just said my mind, the only thing i want in life, is mental peace, happiness, and enjoy my life without anyone restricting me why get married when i will be subjected to pains, commitments, emotional trauma, e.t.c

Mental instability everywhere...swear say you no get bf or person wey dey sample or grease your kitten. Better think am again onye ara

donstan18:
The lady that asked that question is an evening newspaper looking for a way to console herself.

-No matter how a Nigerian lady claim not to want to be called a wife on social media, she'll still log out and face reality.

-Comments and posts like this are often made by married women who are loyal, submissive to their husbands in reality and benefiting from marriage. But the dump and single ones will be quick to embrace it.

-It's funny how a married woman made such statements, but if she's to be asked to lead by example by leaving her marriage to get the same benefit as a single lady, she won't do it.

-If marriage is to be abolished in Nigeria, Nigerian ladies will die of hunger and poverty because an average Nigerian lady is poor, looking for a man to depend on which is their major reason for marriage(To alleviate from poverty)

Funny thing is; That lady might be holding fried chicken or turkey with chilled wine, wearing sexy dress and crossing her legs in her husband's parlor enjoying, while the foolish and single frustrated ones be consoling their lonely and unmarried state with her posts.

Some stupid and senseless entities will just sit there now and start saying she's right...tanker fall on any woman with such thought

troubleseller:
Wait till you are 70 and you are looking for someone to help you bring garri from your kitchen in your one room apartment.

Na to carry garri be your problem? Lol.

All those serving times in prison all over the world, when will they bring bags of garri for their parents?

Do you think Boko Haram Shekau is bringing garri in for the mother? Yet the old mother is surviving. There are no guarantees that children will take care of their parents.

/

delugajackson:
Did she just say that marriage is of no benefit to Nigerian women? Entirely ironic!

A typical Nigerian woman enjoys 101 percent benefit in marriage. Go to some families you will find out that the man is maggi, onion and pepper in the house. The man is paying the rent, the man is paying the children's fees and then still spends on her. Virtually everything is taken care of by the man while all she does is give birth to children by the minute. Worst case, she chats with her friends all day on Facebook and everyother social network. Whoever says Marriage doesn't favor women must be living in utopia and is ignorant of certain realities.

Lol. You should stay as far away from marriage as you can, if the you think a woman forcing a human from a va-jay jay is so trivial. Virtually everything, abi? If we're going by traditional roles, what about the cooking? What about the childbearing? Who's the one raising the kids? Who's the one doing their laundry, ironing their clothes, getting them dressed for school? Who is the one cleaning the house and decorating it? Abeg, you need to stop trivializing the role of the traditional housewife. If you were so focused on what the breadwinner does, you would notice that familial contributions go well beyond finances. NL has made you angry and bitter.

And become nuisance in the community or lesbians... beautiful lady with beautiful nonsense

Ah, Nigerians. Never getting context before jumping to outrage!

Number one, the lady said her mind. If you agree, is in ya pockate. If you don't, knack ya head on the grand!

I agree with her, more or less - marriage in Nigeria is not exactly skewed in favour of women. Not that men only gets benefits either but in the event of a marriage failing, the lady is more likely to walk away more scarred than the man, having been labelled a bad wife by a society that's never looks for a balanced view. Also (though thank goodness this is changing), marriage in Nigeria has been set up in a way to keep a woman dependent on her husband. If the marriage falls apart, the man walks away with his money, his property and all - the kids too, if he is interested. On the other hand, the woman gets nothing or worse, she might be left with nothing, kids to take care of and societal stigma. It's much easier for Nigerian men to remarry too than Nigerian ladies.

I feel marriages in Nigeria will get stronger when both parties approach it as equal partners - no heads, no tails; just equals. Equal financial contribution, equal emotional support, equal say in family decisions. People like to list their mothers as examples of how the current system works, forgetting that -
1) It's probably not the system, it's just that your father is a good man too and treats his wife as an equal partner
2) When things aren't going okay, what mother calls her kids and tells them what their father has done. Most times they just swallow it and put up a façade for the kids and you guys come out oblivious to the facts till either the cracks begin to show or the man dies.

pocohantas:


I had to read her post again, I think the questionnaire listed some benefits. She replied she doesn't PARTICULARLY advocate for marriage based on the listed things[i.e its benefits transcends the listed]. We need to know what that lady listed for a start.

Looking at it logically, do you think if women [African/NIGERIAN women] were very independent, they would be jumping into marriage the way they do? I really do not think so. For a lot of them, it is a poverty alleviation programme. Even the men know this, one reason some want a woman they are richer than. If she doesn't submit to him, she must submit to his money or back to her father's mud house

It is actually funny she is married, going by her closing statement.

Most Nigerian women get married because of one of the following set of reasons:

-Economic
-Social or cultural
-Economic and Social

Few get married for the sole purpose of a marriage. When you start listing the benefits of marriage even before getting married then you already established your main motive for wanting to get married and looking for an individual that could guarantee those benefits. If you are at peace with your choice, then go ahead. But you will soon realize than life scripts are not inscribed on stones.

All manner of junk makes it to the front page. Honestly I need to get off Nairaland

MariaLavina:
I pondered on this question last night, and came up with an answer : The more independent you become, the lesser you see the need for Marriage. When you live by your own terms, pay your own bills, have a regular Bleep, attention and care from opposite sex, You are most likely to loose interest in marriage.

But hey! who asks for another person's list of benefits of being married? Are we all getting married to the same individual?

Lol, but look at the evidence around you, a married woman has a safety net while an unmarried woman has nothing, she has to face the realities of life if she's on Nigeria, how ever in the US and other feminist nations she has the run of the town.

But women are werid so what do I know.
It funny to see a married lady who has no intention of getting divorced telling others not to get marriage.
Remind me of a story I about someone telling people to follow a different road ( which he claims ) is safe while he's taking the one he claims is deadly.

So the point is so marriage is good enough for her but bad for every other lady .

Besides marriage for a us girl is use business. The man loses everything if he doesn't get a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement ( ironclad)

There's no benefit yet u are still married. What are u waiting for to sign divorce papers? Madam, you can't cheat nature jare. Take it or leave it there's a vacuum in every woman's life that a man must fill, no matter how successful you are. Face reality.

SheikhMuniru:
ACTUALLY WOMEN ARE LIKE SLAVES SO MEN SHOULD TREAT THEM LIKE SLAVE Gaskiya

Please read through every word you typed slowly and slowly, then ask yourself one question “does this make sense”...

Marry ur friend ad be in heaven on earth.am married ad marriage is sweet.don't confuse the single ladies pls.plenty benefit tanda for married woman.

MariaLavina:
I pondered on this question last night, and came up with an answer : The more independent you become, the lesser you see the need for Marriage. When you live by your own terms, pay your own bills, have a regular Bleep, attention and care from opposite sex, You are most likely to loose interest in marriage.

But hey! who asks for another person's list of benefits of being married? Are we all getting married to the same individual?

@bolded. No. Rather, it makes you look beyond financial standing in the choice of a partner.

dasparrow:
Ozzy Etomi you will live long. You have spoken the truth. Nigerian married women in Nigeria only benefit sexually transmitted diseases from their philandering constantly cheating Nigerian husbands.

Before you sum up your conclusion, what site conducted the poll for your assumptions? Mind you, not all Nigerian husbands cheat on their wives, get your facts right.

Ytea:
Haunty if you don't want to get married, don't. Face your empty list. Don't try to check other girls' list. Carry yourself and go, leave us alone.

You better do the needful early enough before your nemesis catches up with you later.

delugajackson:
It is now official. Women are the most confused set of people on earth.

No be today o e don tay them confuse

LivingFree:


Aha! We've cracked her code! lol! In that case marriage in "Nigeria" ain't worth it

Who needs guarantees in life? shi, the oxygen we breathe ain't guaranteed but we breathe anyway

Marriage is a beautiful ideal with the right person... I just wish our generation wasn't filled with needy people. Think about it most of the broken marriages are due to some need that wasn't met! The sick irony is that no one can meet our needs but us! But we hold other's responsible for our needs. When marriage was a poverty alleviating scheme, men married many women but now a days a man can't find 1 to marry? why? Poverty is an easier need to manage in comparison to 'Making her happy' you can't throw money at happiness.

A standing ovation!

Ladies should be careful who they receive advises from.

LivingFree:


Aha! We've cracked her code! lol! In that case marriage in "Nigeria" ain't worth it

Who needs guarantees in life? shi, the oxygen we breathe ain't guaranteed but we breathe anyway

Marriage is a beautiful ideal with the right person... I just wish our generation wasn't filled with needy people. Think about it most of the broken marriages are due to some need that wasn't met! The sick irony is that no one can meet our needs but us! But we hold other's responsible for our needs. When marriage was a poverty alleviating scheme, men married many women but now a days a man can't find 1 to marry? why? Poverty is an easier need to manage in comparison to 'Making her happy' you can't throw money at happiness.

Am beginning to like you though. follow back

pocohantas:
Definitely a Nigerian woman, married to a Nigerian man.

She answered the question logically though.

As for the one asking that question, she just wants to start a war. Doesn't she have parents? What are the best parts of her mother being married? Therein lies the answer to her question.

Ozzy etomi is a married woman with a child. With her logic that there's no benefit in marriage, what is she still doing in her husbands house?

Famousqueen:
she just said my mind, the only thing i want in life, is mental peace, happiness, and enjoy my life without anyone restricting me why get married when i will be subjected to pains, commitments, emotional trauma, e.t.c

d person that is giving u advice is married with a kid

.

Wrong reasons to get married

1. You feel too guilty or ashamed to back out when plagued with doubt

2. You are willing to gamble on your future spouse changing or having potential.

3. Want to be free from parents.

4. To have sex.

5. To ease loneliness.

6. To be happy.

7. To show you are an adult.

8. Because of a pregnancy.

9. Just because he or she loves you.

10. To save, rescue or help someone.

11. Because you want a baby.

12. For money.

13. Because all your friends are married.

14. You've always wanted a fancy wedding. or to wear the fancy dress.

15. Out of fear that no one else will want to marry you.

16. You think you are running out of time to get married.

17. To have someone to "complete" you.

18. For immigration purposes.

19. You are tired of being single.

20. Someone is pressuring you into getting married.

21. You don't want people gossiping about the two of you living together.

22. To get health or insurance benefits from the spouse's employer.


Right reasons to get married

1. You are in love with one another.

2. A desire to share your life with another.

3. To have a lifetime companion.

4. You both have realistic expectations and shared goals.

5. You would feel comfortable doing premarital counseling to make certain this is the right choice.

6. You want to feel connected with a person you love and to grow with that person emotionally.

7. Willingness to be there for one another while you each fulfill your own needs and dreams.

8. You both do not have blinders on and have spent enough time together to know it's the right choice.

https://www.thespruce.com/right-wrong-reasons-to-get-married-2300598


^^ Conclusion; if your reasons for getting married are in tandem with the right reasons above, you will never come online to post nonsense about marriage.

Those who failed in marriage should be banned from speaking about that institution.

InvertedHammer:


Na to carry garri be your problem? Lol.

All those serving times in prison all over the world, when will they bring bags of garri for their parents?

Do you think Boko Haram Shekau is bringing garri in for the mother? Yet the old mother is surviving. There are no guarantees that children will take care of their parents.

/

Ok. Don't marry then