SIRTee15,
Sorry you had such a terrible experience.
I should be saying the same thing about Nigerian men (just based on Nairaland)...
But I won't
Cause there are just as many ripe (good)apples as there are rotten (bad) ones.

Ogalanyaidi greetings to you, how much will i need to spend to school in Canada and i wouldn't mind getting a job over there be it nanny any valid job at all. I intend pursuing Nursing by the way.

sarahade:
Black American girls are lazy and crazy. Shebi n.a. green card you dey find you go see red card.
You better run for your life

Hahahaha Gaga
Pity the guy small naaaaa
Na GREEN CARD runs oooo
The WRONG LADY collide am
The guy for try locate some nice ladies or mothers whose daughters are there

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself.

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

i think,you are in big trouble and might lose your job if time is not taken,she knows you lied on your cv,be ready to face the consequences when you break up,if you do break up,she will secretly send an email to your employers to expose you.

i think,you should leave her alone and run for your life,you have a entitled and violent person as "gf" and you will pay the consequences when two of you break up. Many african-american women are high maintenance and it is very bad for a guy that is just beginning to find his way in life in another country.

i think you brought your problem on yourself and should face any consequences that might happen when 2 of you decides to break up

that girl is no good for you and will ruin you,run from your life,dont give her any money,let her do her stuff by herself,if she is stuck at your place,pls drive her out and face your life alone.

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself.

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

James hope say no be u for canada be this'd. Mr OP i hope u're really OK. You paid for her expenses to come to Canada and your parents moved into an uncompleted house. Her mother also had the audacity to tell your parents to use a plastic bucket. Oyinbo juju strong no be small. Thunder fire you OP.

After 4 months of chatting, you moved her in. Why the rush? After 4 months of chatting, you should be visiting each other because at that point you're still getting to know one another. But you were in a rush and this is what happens when you rush into things.

Also, you probably didn't try hard enough to find a single Nigerian or non-Nigerian woman in Canada (because I'm sure they're many), but you wanted an American woman for some reason.

Mobilia:
Ogalanyaidi,
Brother may I ask you a real, hardcore question please?
Why would you decide to want to marry an American, (a woman living in another country), while you are there in Canada where there are tons of Nigerian females and Black Canadians?
You could have easily gotten a woman in Canada...very easily (Black, African, European, Indian, Asian etc.).
Could it be though, that you had plans/dreams of coming to the U.S. to maybe further your studies once finished in Canada or to possibly work here? Did you clearly communicate that to her?

Honestly, I find this scenario quite unusual....
Cause a Black American woman, more oftentimes than not, is not going to just up and leave the U.S. to go and live with a foreigner in another country....at least not without a plan/direction. Most Black Americans don't see a concrete enough reason to leave (family, friends, job, schooling and the familiar etc) and take up residency in a foreign country....
That's like a 1-2 out of 10 chance that a female would do that.
I wonder where you met her?
I've read some of the comments and am quite appalled at how quickly the females (especially) jumped on and insulted the "akata".
But you had a role to play also. You should have gotten to thoroughly know the woman you wanted to marry...which takes time.
Perhaps sir, you can chalk this incident up to an unfortunate one....and know that in the future, you may want to enter into a relationship with the "right" motives or at least clearly communicate what you really want.
Be honest, you paid for all those things expecting a return on your "investment". Had it worked, then you would have hit the "jackpot"...so to speak.
Perhaps it's best to just date Nigerian women and hustle to get the permanent residency in whatever country you eventually determine to be the best one.
The "toilet" situation may have been just a case of a cultural misunderstanding. Black Americans and Black Africans have so much strife, ignorance and tension between each other...which is beyond saddening.
I would never...stereotype an entire ethnicity because of a number of challenged ones.

IA. It's unusual to move someone into your place just like that. Who does that? It takes time to know someone. With the U.S and Canada being so close what he should've done is ask her to visit him, or he visits her. Either one would've allowed him to see her lifestyle and habits. But just moving someone in so soon is somehow. He had his own intentions to begin with but probably won't admit it.

I got so pissed reading this. This is a major problem with African Americans. They are so lazy, hence, hate on hard working Africans over there who are more successful. Imagine her saying you work your Azz out because you are from a poor country?

Bro, please no fall my hands. What you are going through is not new to me. You are one of the gullible and foolish tenths. Please, let her go back to her rich country. Get you a hard working Nigerian lady and stop disgracing us. You sound like one with inferiority complex

sarahade:
Black American girls are lazy and crazy. Shebi n.a. green card you dey find you go see red card.
You better run for your life

Shut your lying thoughts.

EVILFOREST:

Hahahaha Gaga
Pity the guy small naaaaa
Na GREEN CARD runs oooo
The WRONG LADY collide am
The guy for try locate some nice ladies or mothers whose daughters are there

My brother im telling you white women better pass them.
Even black American men use African women anyhow just because of paper.
It's crazy I swear.

Mobilia:
SIRTee15,
Sorry you had such a terrible experience.
I should be saying the same thing about Nigerian men (just based on Nairaland)...
But I won't
Cause there are just as many ripe (good)apples as there are rotten (bad) ones.

The personal text on your Profile is just so annoying. Who wants your money(if at all you have any), who want you to take them to the U. S. What are you feeling like? Mtcheeeeeew

khiaa:


Shut your lying thoughts.

Mtcheew

1990news:
You enter trap because of punany, and now you're tired of chopping, you come dey complain?.


Naija men dey disgrace me, so a black American girl over shadow you?

Is there something superior about a Naija man that prevents him from being played by a black American woman as opposed to any other woman?

Altern8:
In your shoes, I would wait it out. When the visa expires and the fees are due, she would be deported. Don’t let her provoke you to violence. Just hang in there.

I would have said to eject her but things may get out of hand in the process and you could be slammed with a damaging domestic violence case. So be careful. Play the broke card well and stick to your story. Keep your financial information secret and wait till the storm blows over.

Shii like this happens when we consider good looks above all other qualities in a potential partner.

I'm black American and this is the only fair response as of yet, no prejudices or judgments. Kudos to you. Common sense with a fair approach. The OP is lying, there are no Visa's and fees to pay for an American to enter Canada, the U.S. and Canada share the same borderline all we need is our Identification card. I live in California which shares the same borderline with Mexico, since when do I need a passport and Visa to enter there?

emmyid:


The personal text on your Profile is just so annoying. Who wants your money(if at all you have any), who want you to take them to the U. S. What are you feeling like? Mtcheeeeeew

Sir,
Please calm down....please.
You are extremely angry....and cannot understand what I've written.
You can kindly ignore the text...but it will stay up there for now. No guy has to "pm" me if he doesn't want to...
If the "shoe doesn't fit, please don't wear it."
This has been most of my experience on Nairaland ok?
I'm sorry that all the "akatas" in America that you have dated have mistreated you...I really am.
Just stay away from them ok?
You are looking to pick a fight...but I'm not gonna engage you in one.
Take care

Ogalanyaidi:



This is where I'm basing my defence. I've told her that she shouldn't smell what she doesn't eat. I lied on my resume so I don't think she should concern herself with my finance.

I don't understand you, why didn't you choose a Canadian girl or Nigerian girl who was there in Canada to have a relationship with?

mgtow:
It's amazing how every day a new maga is born. No further comment.

MGTOW really, in Nigeria? A lot of people connect MGTOW with down-low homosexuals. I'm not saying you are I'm just wondering did you know that? You guys are seriously into prostitutes, am I correct? I feel that only very weak men would give completely up on women. I wish you guys would be stronger and more patient and take the time to work on yourselves. There are good, loving women out there just stop looking for perfection because she doesn't exist.


mgtow, this is the rest of my statement.

khiaa:



MGTOW really, in Nigeria? A lot of people connect MGTOW with down-low homosexuals. I'm not saying you are I'm just wondering did you know that?

It's not connected to that as far as I know. I can understand why a woman would think that though.

mgtow:


It's not connected to that as far as I know. I can understand why a woman would think that though.

I added more to that post, reread it.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Nwanne what happened to our homely igbo girls that you had to go for an akata? Physical qualities?

Better use the God given sense we igbos have and push the leech out of your life and if you not careful, she will set you up. Imagine advising that your mum should use plastic bucket! Chim

The arrogance of some of you Nigerians girls is astounding. You prostitute yourselves out to white men all over the planet and then have the audacity to think that you have some kind of monopoly on values. AMAZING!!

Ogalanyaidi:


That's the height of the insult. They saw the advice as an honest one. I asked them if they use bucket to shit there in America.

She gave that advice as a sincere one not to be insulting because, believe it or not, a lot of people use buckets for toilets in America.

Suulola:
You probably didn't try hard enough to find a single Nigerian or non-Nigerian woman in Canada (because I'm sure they're many), but you wanted an American woman for some reason.


IA. It's unusual to move someone into your place just like that. Who does that? It takes time to know someone. With the U.S and Canada being so close what he should've done is ask her to visit him, or he visits her. Either one would've allowed him to see her lifestyle and habits. But just moving someone in so soon is somehow. He had his own intentions to begin with but probably won't admit it.

This is so true, he probably only wanted to marry her to get to the U.S. He's not this innocent.

This one na oyibo matter have nothing to say

emmyid:
I got so pissed reading this. This is a major problem with African Americans. They are so lazy, hence, hate on hard working Africans over there who are more successful. Imagine her saying you work your Azz out because you are from a poor country?

Bro, please no fall my hands. What you are going through is not new to me. You are one of the gullible and foolish tenths. Please, let her go back to her rich country. Get you a hard working Nigerian lady and stop disgracing us. You sound like one with inferiority complex

Says the bigoted idiot who has never met an African American.

sarahade:


My brother im telling you white women better pass them.
Even black American men use African women anyhow just because of paper.
It's crazy I swear.

You are a female, how do you know what female is better than the other? This is pure ignorance, always worshiping white people to some God/Goddess status.

sarahade:


My brother im telling you white women better pass them.
Even black American men use African women anyhow just because of paper.
It's crazy I swear.

Dem better pass us but una still dey cry 4 help 4 Nland, hw I wish d gal cut him tortori 4 d violence Matta, e 4 sweet me ehhh ......una no go know d value of wetn una get until una loose am. Tank God our Naija gals no dey look una face again.

Mobilia:


Sir,
Please calm down....please.
You are extremely angry....and cannot understand what I've written.
You can kindly ignore the text...but it will stay up there for now. No guy has to "pm" me if he doesn't want to...
If the "shoe doesn't fit, please don't wear it."
This has been most of my experience on Nairaland ok?
I'm sorry that all the "akatas" in America that you have dated have mistreated you...I really am.
Just stay away from them ok?
You are looking to pick a fight...but I'm not gonna engage you in one.
Take care

u just nailed it

It's like people don't just date anymore, everybody that graces their bed is a fiancee and every girlfriend is a wife...
People have funded you to go and study and instead of completing your mission in peace you go and take responsibility of someone who is in her papa land, chilling.
She is right, she doesn't have to stress herself because she isn't from the shithole. You need to do what you came for because you didn't go there to marry.

Unless you were trying to hunt for a green card and you became the prey... Either way my girl ain't got nothing to worry about because she'll return to her mummy's house.

emmyid:


The personal text on your Profile is just so annoying. Who wants your money(if at all you have any), who want you to take them to the U. S. What are you feeling like? Mtcheeeeeew

if sumone has provoked u 2day, does not mean u should transfer ur aggression on sumone else, her PM, her business, she does not owe u or any body any explanation, if e pain u too much u write ur own. Notn wey person no go see 4 Nland

khiaa:



Is there something superior about a Naija man that prevents him from being played by a black American woman as opposed to any other woman?

Kai Kai Kai, I lyk dis ur question.

Op 2018 is ending and you still want to carry relationship problems on your head. Anyway, Nigeria is ten times harder now better do what you were sent to do and make a life for yourself. Don't allow your destiny to be among those the devil has successfully wasted . Worse for the girl is her going back to her country which is a first world developed nation, worse case scenario for you is coming back to Nigeria. Better use your tongue and count your teeth.

fancy4eve:
Kai Kai Kai, I lyk dis ur question.

Something is missing from this story.
No American, black or white will go through this much trouble for schooling in another country, when the costs and opportunity in their own country are better or about the same.

What I mean, is that an American get financial assistance, scholarships, cheaper costs etc.

So Im not buying this.