khiaa:



The arrogance of some of you Nigerians girls is astounding. You prostitute yourselves out to white men all over the planet and then have the audacity to think that you have some kind of monopoly on values. AMAZING!!

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Well, I don't know anything about prostituting to white men all over. Seems I struck a nerve

khiaa:


That's what I mean about your arrogance, why would you think you struck a nerve because I stated a fact?

Bsuedu:
Something is missing from this story.
No American, black or white will go through this much trouble for schooling in another country, when the costs and opportunity in their own country are better or about the same.

What I mean, is that an American get financial assistance, scholarships, cheaper costs etc.

So Im not buying this.

fancy4eve:
[s]Dem better pass us but una still dey cry 4 help 4 Nland, hw I wish d gal cut him tortori 4 d violence Matta, e 4 sweet me ehhh ......una no go know d value of wetn una get until una loose am. Tank God our Naija gals no dey look una face again.[/s]

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Nna you no do am well. Just allow her visa expire and probably snitch so they can ship her back. This type when married will definitely take u to the cleaners.

Mobilia:
Ogalanyaidi,
Brother may I ask you a real, hardcore question please?
Why would you decide to want to marry an American, (a woman living in another country), while you are there in Canada where there are tons of Nigerian females and Black Canadians?
You could have easily gotten a woman in Canada...very easily (Black, African, European, Indian, Asian etc.).
Could it be though, that you had plans/dreams of coming to the U.S. to maybe further your studies once finished in Canada or to possibly work here? Did you clearly communicate that to her?

Honestly, I find this scenario quite unusual....
Cause a Black American woman, more oftentimes than not, is not going to just up and leave the U.S. to go and live with a foreigner in another country....at least not without a plan/direction. Most Black Americans don't see a concrete enough reason to leave (family, friends, job, schooling and the familiar etc) and take up residency in a foreign country....
That's like a 1-2 out of 10 chance that a female would do that.
I wonder where you met her?
I've read some of the comments and am quite appalled at how quickly the females (especially) jumped on and insulted the "akata".
But you had a role to play also. You should have gotten to thoroughly know the woman you wanted to marry...which takes time.
Perhaps sir, you can chalk this incident up to an unfortunate one....and know that in the future, you may want to enter into a relationship with the "right" motives or at least clearly communicate what you really want.
Be honest, you paid for all those things expecting a return on your "investment". Had it worked, then you would have hit the "jackpot"...so to speak.
Perhaps it's best to just date Nigerian women and hustle to get the permanent residency in whatever country you eventually determine to be the best one.
The "toilet" situation may have been just a case of a cultural misunderstanding. Black Americans and Black Africans have so much strife, ignorance and tension between each other...which is beyond saddening.
I would never...stereotype an entire ethnicity because of a number of challenged ones.

Ogalanyaidi:
Hello Nairalanders.

Seriously I feel I've been used and will need your advice. I need to be told the truth.

I am a Nigerian living and studying in Canada. I've been here for 2years. I was introduced to this black American lady, we exchanged calls, texts and emails for about 4 months before I arranged for her to meet me in canada. She relocated from US and we've been living together for 10 months now. Before her arrival, I helped her secure a job while she was still offshore, I got her a car, got a befitting apartment. Yes I paid her flight ticket to Canada paid for her visa fee, international passport because until that time, she was a first time traveler. An action I regret so bad. No doubt she cooks for me, does all domestic chores by herself above all, she is someone of same faith (Christianity)

My thought was that her coming was gonna make things easier for me as we'll both work to build our life's together. I also thought that she being an American might provide me the opportunity of having my American dreams but the reverse is the case. For 8months I paid the rent and bills myself as she was very reluctant to work but could sit for hours playing play station 4. I always reminded her of the need to work so as to help me but she would counter me saying ' I don't need help' because she feels that I make alot from my job. I had bad grade in school last semester because I was skipping classes cus I needed to work twice harder. This has created a breach in my visa condition because I'm only entitled to work 20hours a week during academic sessions.

To gain employment here we need certifications or reasonable years of experience. This has pushed few of us to embellish our resume as we claim years of experience we never had in the industry just to get the job. My fiancee insisted that she will not embellish her resume to land a job as it contravenes her morals. My parents, friends and associates waded in but she stood her ground and this has rendered her financially incapacitated and has pushed the responsibilities on me. Many times we ended up fighting, quarrelling and trust me when I say she hit me so hard and few times she had inflicted injuries on me. Her visa doesn't have job limitations because she's allowed to work unlimited unlike me who is a student. She's been here for 10 months and can't boast of having $1000 while many female students pay their tuition, rent, bills themselves and even send money to their parents back in naija. Each time I talk to her about these ladies she is quick to shut me up. She said they have no choice cus we are from a poor country and would do anything to stay.

Fast-forward to July, her one year working visa would end in October and she needs atleast $3500 to pay for her health insurance and visa application. She is helpless as she can't pay this fee. I have politely asked her to return back to her country but she isn't buying the idea because she claims to love me so much but in reality, she's homeless cus she has been squatting with friends and relatives. Her recent excuse is that she found out that my ex was still calling me and this made her depress.

My understanding is that she is a very lazy lady full of excuses because she wasn't used to hardwork even in her country. She wants comfort and luxury but doesn't want to pay the price. She is now pleading with me to support her so she could pay. During our quarrels, she nags me and insults me that I lied on my resume to secure a job. My fiancee has been feeding and living on the same job she said I lied about my experience.

I'm from a very humble background. For the past 2 months, my parents moved to our yet to be completed building with no toilet. I explained this situation to my fiancee and her mother but the mother adviced that my parents can use plastic buckets.(what an advice). I asked her mother if she uses bucket to poo over there in America.

Now I've asked her to get the money for her visa fee and health insurance herself because I will not contribute anything as i think its unfair for her to keep spending from an income she is opposed to but she tells me that God had forgiven me.

How could I've known that this babe I thought was coming to help me wil become a thorn on my flesh. She wants luxury she doesn't travel via train she would prefer driving the car to the toilet and kitchen if permitted. As at today, she has about 4 driving fines unpaid.

FisifunKododada:


You will not stereotype YET you are calling her akata. Do you even know the meaning of akata?

AngryNigerian22:
Nigerian women get value? U Nigerians women are Notorious for doing human trafficking every where from Dubai to Morocco, Libyan, Italy, Spain, American, Germany, England. So which stupid values you they talk about ?

Mobilia:
SIRTee15,
Sorry you had such a terrible experience.
I should be saying the same thing about Nigerian men (just based on Nairaland)...
But I won't
Cause there are just as many ripe (good)apples as there are rotten (bad) ones.

addicted268:


Very true. And @OP just like someone said above: DO NOT FORGET TO AVOID THE PREGNANCY TRAP otherwise you 'll be paying her for the rest of your life.

khiaa:


Yes, this is true, a lot of Nigerian men fall for the pregnancy trap in the U.S. and the rest of the world out of Africa, well I wouldn't call it a trap because they knew what they were doing when they went in raw. They are partially the blame. They won't be paying for the rest of their lives because they don't take care of their children that they help to procreate, they would rather run back to Nigeria than be responsible for their own child. They are no different than some Black American men.

FisifunKododada:


You will not stereotype YET you are calling her akata. Do you even know the meaning of akata?

luminouz:

Knew I'd find u here!!

Sarang:


Are you stupid or is this who you are? No oo I don't mean to be insulting but are you really a Nigerian? The worst part is you are still being stupid. Chase her out of your damn house.. fiancee my left yansh. Your parents live in an uncompleted building, oh and probably pooing in a toilet and what are you doing? Feeding an American. What stops you from finishing your school and getting a permanent resident in Canada or is U.S a better place? I cry for your family mahn.. I am so dissappointed! And that woman, your fiancee's mother I mean.. no words. You spend all these on a woman who hits you cos she's a woman? You are working freaking hard.. god that is one thing with some of this oyibos.. they won't work the one they did will go to alchohol and party.. I am not praying for something like this to happen to me cos it won't lol (aputara m uwa itara mmadu ibe m ahuhu.. ) if it does, i cross my heart you are refunding all my money and leaving my house that day.. case closed. Just legodu.. she even has morals
(Sorry if I was harsh, I was so angry reading this esp the part about your parents)
Meanwhile where do you work, I am looking for a better-paying job

CyberWolf:
Your parents sent you to yankee for studies, you left your book and start chasing black American woman? Hmmm .. I have nothing to tell you but carry am for mind, na jail you go end last last if you no use your sense.

otipoju:
My man... you have told her way too much about yourself...and if you dont apply wisdom in handling this matter she would not hesitate to open your yansh to whom it may concern.

You have gotten involved with a terrible woman who has absolutely no good wishes towards you. It will take some street sense to extricate yourself from her grip without damaging yourself.

As things are now, don't even argue with her. Just be laughing and playing with her as normal and tell her she is god sent to you and her advise has sunk in and has brought your closer to God.

When she brings up the issue tell her you have learned from her and wont do those jobs again. Stay at home to and play the play station with her for like a week

Let the bills be late and let her see the late fee charges.
Then secretly pay them and opt for digital receipts.

In fact tell her you can't afford the rent and you have to move into a shelter when your current lease expires.

Beg her for money. Beg her parents for money. Beg her brothers for money.

Carry your T.V with her in the car and go pawn am to pay power bill or something.

Let it be very clear that you have no money again.

She go run by herself and will never call you again.

As she is saying she can't work because of morals.
When her visa expires that same morals should make her get on the plane and go back .

The root cause of her attitude towards you is more deep than normal male female tension. It's not about you But their deeply ingrained mindset towards africans... But i can start explaining it on a public forum.

Ogalanyaidi:



I bet u didn't read or understand the story. I'm an international student. She isn't studying but I sent for her from the state so we could start a life together here.

khiaa:


Who honestly knows what akata means? Some say it means a wild animal, wildcat, cotton picker or just black foreigner. I have read some U.S./U.K. based Nigerians say that when they go to visit Nigeria they are called Akata as well, so what does it mean? To be honest I question the motives of the op for this girl also, because it's not logical unless there is a sneaky ulterior motive behind it. He isn't innocent and I think his ultimate goal was to get to the U.S. but he chose the wrong girl. This is meant for Ogalanyaidi also.

khiaa:


You are a female, how do you know what female is better than the other? This is pure ignorance, always worshiping white people to some God/Goddess status.

LonelyHeart627:
Your Fiancee did not use you but you are the cause of your problem. Before I proceed with my question, Please when was the last time you did medical checkup? I am not 100.00% sure that you are mentally stable based on what you wrote above.

HeWrites:
Reason why I hate black Americans (the females) is that the whites always turn them to baby mama.

Most of them are useless hoe

khiaa:



LMAO @ the embolden, but can you tell me what deeply ingrained mindset do we black Americans have towards Africans?