im a bit confused, i have been dating a guy for over 4years now. i love him and he loves me.

my most worry is marriage and he has been saying dis year, next year till dis moment, no introduction or whatsoever.

this year in february, i met anoda guy who just broke up with his girlfriend, he said he liked me and i told him im in a relationship.

we agreed to be just friends but i took it far by visiting him one saturday, we had sex and after dat i cant get him off my mind and i dont want to loose my bf of 4years.

i love dis new bf and d old one and i dont know the one to choose.

i need help please.

First of all you do not love your BF like the time you met him ccos if you did you would not have had S.ex with the new guy.
                                                               OR
You dig this new dude more and you just felt his game more than ur old BF.

My advice, know the plan of the new guy then you will decide on your own.

But wait, why did you allow yourself to fall for him just like that did he force you? or jazz you?

You obvoiusly like the new guy 4 you to sleep with him  girls come to my place all the time yet i still keep one babe so you have no excuse.

It is girls like you that will say 'guys are dogs' because he slept with another woman.

No vex me oooo

@poster
you wonder why your bf is not going ahead with all the marriage BS but, by your actions, we can all understand why.
what you did is not a result of anything but you being a slut (excuse my French but lets call a spade  A SPADE!)
then you wonder why he got cold feet?!

if you knew that your bf had fukced some gal he barely knew wouldnt you be mad?!
i think the best you can do for yourself AND your bf is to break up with him and go be happy with this new guy who doesnt care that you have no morals.

as for your new man, i guess he is the kind of man that want to spend the rest of his life with a woman who he definitely knows is UNTRUSTWORTHY.

btw: if you think that there is better prospects with this new guy than with someone you've known for 4yrs then you better wake up!

just ur advice please, leave all d insults for anoda day

nobody is perfect

he who is without sin should cast the first stone

Just wait until the novelty of having a new boyfriend washes away. Then you wouldn't need to ask NLanders anything.

sweetkisse:

just your advice please, leave all d insults for anoda day
nobody is perfect
he who is without sin should cast the first stone

this is the best advice i can give you so that you can face the mirror and ACCEPT who truly are(or change if it really bothers you). this is not an insult, its all about facing the facts and accepting who you are as a person.

why do you think that people (including your BF) shouldnt judge you by your actions?!
this is what it is, call it what you want but, as a woman with "indiscretions", this is how you would be looked at and judged.

believe me, i have "slutted" myself away many a nights in the past and i have always stood by my actions and the "image/stigma" that it brings. the problem is when people pretend to be someone they are not.
like Dave Chappelle once said:"i'm not calling you a hoe but you do wear a hoe's uniform" LOL

There is no excuse for cheating. If you are not convince of the man you are dating, confront him and if need be, end the relationship or rather let him give you freedom to date someone else. Ihate it when ladies cheat, they give silly reasons like we had sex, just once. Absolute rubbish.

You are a cheat and even though your boyfriend of 4 years proposes to you, you will eventually cheat in marriage.
Please end one relationship and focus on one. Not all relationships must end in marriage.

You cheat and you come ask us for advice on who to choose? First go tell your bf of 4 yrs that u screwed another dude, then come back here for your answer.
I'm not judging you. Irregardless of my sinful nature, lets call a spade a spade and call a slut a slut.

Summary
1. The fact is, I can't stand your type.
2. Go tell your bf you a ho
3. Stand in front of the mirror and repeat to urself that u are a ho

marry the two of them

Rocktation:

Just wait until the novelty of having a new boyfriend washes away. Then you wouldn't need to ask NLanders anything.

Right on the spot!!!

Subject to the test of time.

Though there is no justification for you sleeping around, but the unseriousness of ur old bf motivated you.

Please subject it to the test of time.

DON'T RUSH, AFTER A WHILE YOU WOULDN'T ANYBODY ANY LONGER AS EVERYTHING WILL BE SO CLEAR TO YOU.[color=#000099][/color]

deniyor---ur not judging her has got to be the understatement of the millenium

ok a spade is a spade but cos she slept wiv another dude she has bcome a LovePeddler
i mean wat the hell is wrong wiv u, have u checked ur calender lately its 2010, women have not only earned to right to be cheated on but to cheat on men too---kapish

i must say u have a very narrow defination for wat a LovePeddler is, i wonder wat u wld call a owman that hangs around street corners giving blow jobs for 10dollars---seriously u need to put things into perspective before u blurt out any only tot that comes into ur otherwise empty head
she only came here for a lil advice, y send her to the gas chambers she aint done nothing special, she jus met a man dat does it better than her current man or perharps he says the right things

anyway poster from experience, i would say stick wiv the old guy except u dont love him any more or he has done some bad arseshit and u were just hanging in there waiting for aa better dude to come along, now that u got one u can make a sharp exit
dat said new relationships can seem all hot and tingly in the early dayz, four years is a long time to be wiv some one,,,,,,,u wld be surprised how much u wld miss the old dude wen u start dating a new guy-----my ex said somin to me---before u left vivaladiva u were my best friend---we had been together so long u bcame part of me----it is hard to achieve that level of closeness in the begining ---things like that take time and committment====

Just as well he didnt marry you if it was so easy to cheat on him. Good luck with the karma thing. He should run away as fast as he can.

when my mum used to tell me not to jump straight into a new rel from an old one-----i tot she was tellin porkies, worst still is jumpin in another while ur in another and boy have i done both=======so i can tell u  some of the petential draw backs---which of cos ive listed above

but on second tot chick, at least as far as we know------u only live once-----my fun adventurous side says take the plunge----experience life----live a lil---feel the breeze on ur face. if ur current dude aint doing it for u leave his arse and enjoy the new dude
and all the wonderful new sexual positions u will get to experience hahahahahah

----but always remember for evry choice there will always be an oppurtunity cost no matter how juicy it seems at first, u cld end up wiv this new dude prob get married and  have enof kids to play both sides of a football match---or it cld all end in tears and then u find out ur ex is doing fab well got married to an absolute damsel and got four beautiful kids---on d otherside for the sake of security and comfort u cld remain wiv the old guy only to get dumped in d end===prob leave ur arse for anoda chick hahahahahahahahhaha---absolutely nothing is guaranteed chick---so if ur looking for one, am afraid it doesnt work dat way

vivaladiva:

when my mum used to tell me not to jump straight into a new rel from an old one-----i tot she was tellin porkies, worst still is jumpin in another while your in another and boy have i done both=======so i can tell u  some of the petential draw backs---which of cos ive listed above

[size=18pt]but on second tot chick, at least as far as we know------u only live once-----my fun adventurous side says take the plunge----experience life----live a lil---feel the breeze on your face. if your current dude aint doing it for u leave his arse and enjoy the new dude
and all the wonderful new sexual positions u will get to experience hahahahahah[/size]

----but always remember for evry choice there will always be an oppurtunity cost no matter how juicy it seems at first, u cld end up wiv this new dude prob get married and  have enof kids to play both sides of a football match---or it cld all end in tears and then u find out your ex is doing fab well got married to an absolute damsel and got four beautiful kids---on d otherside for the sake of security and comfort u cld remain wiv the old guy only to get dumped in d end===prob leave your arse for anoda chick hahahahahahahahhaha---absolutely nothing is guaranteed chick---so if your looking for one, am afraid it doesnt work dat way

then when you're 38 wonder why u arent married. I never thot i'd see the day reckless and irresponsible promiscuity would be packaged as "adventure".

sorry to disappoint u daviddylan not every woman on earth is obsessed wiv getting married----come on dude u make it sound like its an absolute must------maybe in stupidville where u live 38 year old women cant get married, its always good to broaden ones mind least the earth is populated iwth many other davidylans, she nevr said how old she is---for all u know she cld be 20 or even 38-----u prob need a new coffee machine

vivaladiva:

sorry to disappoint u daviddylan not every woman on earth is obsessed wiv getting married----come on dude u make it sound like its an absolute must------maybe in stupidville where u live 38 year old women cant get married,[b] its always good to broaden ones mind [/b]least the earth is populated iwth many other davidylans, she nevr said how old she is---for all u know she cld be 20 or even 38-----u prob need a new coffee machine

that's just nonsense. I got a good coffee machine by the way, it tends to turn its nose at folks like you who preach this type of liberal BS and end up shriveled old unhappy loons at 65.

You need serious help indeed!

daviddylan i guess dats wat happened to ur mother after ur father did a runner when he found out she was pregnant with you, if he had stayed he prob wld ave tot u how not to fink wiv ur rear end

ur coffe machine has got a nose-----now dats strange----i bliv u have caught the wrong end of the stick i threw u----ur just a hopless dog

by d way dimwit---u can do d whole marriage thing be faithful all ur damn life n still end up a shriveled old unhappy lady of 65----seriously dylan u need to beef up ur case-------i guess in dumbville where u live n speak dumbish----bad things never happen to good people-------listen dylan in life there r no fool proof rules----do wat makes u happy

Omolola1:

Double-date

date both of them and choose the one you can spend the rest of your life with

@ 190
wow! did u see dat?  :u beta start loosing hope for this your internet babe
"by their words u can tell their future exploit

shameless black lady with no ounce of dignity.

Na wah o!!

My dear

Your matter na small thing, you can use tum-bor tum-bor or flip coins, but I will give you advice as an elder

A BIRD IN HAND, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I Believe you should knw the rest of this saying. Choose wisely


Alusi Okija^TM

just keep dating both guys though it wont be easy eventually you will get caught or marry either of them.goodluck

vivaladiva:

deniyor---your not judging her has got to be the understatement of the millenium

ok a spade is a spade but cos she slept wiv another dude she has bcome a LovePeddler
i mean wat the hell is wrong wiv u, have u checked your calender lately its 2010, women have not only earned to right to be cheated on but to cheat on men too---kapish

i must say u have a very narrow defination for wat a LovePeddler is, i wonder wat u wld call a owman that hangs around street corners giving blow jobs for 10dollars---seriously u need to put things into perspective before u blurt out any only tot that comes into your otherwise empty head
she only came here for a lil advice, y send her to the gas chambers she aint done nothing special, she jus met a man dat does it better than her current man or perharps he says the right things

anyway poster from experience, i would say stick wiv the old guy except u dont love him any more or he has done some bad arseshit and u were just hanging in there waiting for aa better dude to come along, now that u got one u can make a sharp exit
dat said new relationships can seem all hot and tingly in the early dayz, four years is a long time to be wiv some one,,,,,,,u wld be surprised how much u wld miss the old dude wen u start dating a new guy-----my ex said somin to me---before u left vivaladiva u were my best friend---we had been together so long u bcame part of me----it is hard to achieve that level of closeness in the begining ---things like that take time and committment====

It's viva again . I hv followed your posts well in the past, and girl I must say people like you give women a bad name. I cringe at the things you type in here. I always try to avoid your posts cos I don't think I can dignify them with my comments. The poster is free to follow your advice of course, hopefully she ends up like you too.

But to answer you, I do not believe in cheating on your partner, no matter what sex you are. If you knew me outside this forum, you will know I practice what I preach on it. And for your info, Yes, years ago, I  cheated b4. And I wish I could undo all that. But what is wrong is wrong, no matter how you sugarcoat it. If you are in a relationship, you should stick to your partner, no matter the temptation.

The lady you mentioned above who takes the money for sex is a love-peddler, tho I get the feeling you are not so different from her yourself. Except I think you give everyone a promotional offer of $0.

Of course not everyone cares for marriage. But even those care about companionship with the opposite gender at some point in their life. But who will even bother being with you knowing how you share every bit of yourself with any stranger that comes calling in the name of adventure. You Viva are nothing but a slut, of course along with the poster.

MOBO444:

shameless black lady with no ounce of dignity.

Poster don give MOBO mouth to talk o. Unfortunately I agree with you just this once.

@190, Sweets i would never do that, am not dat kind of person. i just gave dat advice cos she's already doin dat

Deep Soul:

And by the way, have you tried to find out the REAL reason(s) your bf of 4yrs is delaying marriage??
He just might have justifiable reasons. Who knows 

dont you think that what she did is an indication of what kind of woman she is and therefore a good enough reason to have doubts and delay marriage? OR would you just say (like most people in here) that her cheating was the guy's fault for not going ahead with marriage?!

some men can sense when everything about some women is NOT what it seems.