Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? - Romance (4) - Nairaland
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| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by spoilt(f): 3:53pm On May 03, 2007 |
@femo_a will do. this wknd. take care. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by LadyTi1(f): 11:39pm On May 03, 2007 |
Long distance relationships are extremely challenging but they can work if the two people involved are equally committed to its success. My advice to you are as follows: - If She cannot get a visa to visit you, then you travel home and spend some time courting properly so you can get to know each other. You said you used to know each other from back then but neither of you should assume that you are still the same people that you were back then . Both of you would have changed a lot over the years (in good and bad ways) and there are certain things you cannot get to know over the phone!! - Get your families involved and obtain their blessings. - Get your pastors involved and get their blessings. - Above all, get GOD involved and PRAY!! I pray it goes well and err, if it does go ahead, hope you will get back to us on the forum with the good news?? Lady Ti |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by ebong4waz(m): 8:24am On May 04, 2007 |
@ femo a,  this is a risk o!! always have it in mind that its marriage that you are after. I pray that the end justifies the means for you both. Be optimistic about the whole 'project' & please do not take little details for granted about the whole thing, Watch & pray, Watch & wait & have it in mind that no-one is perfect. Free ur mind & take/make the best decusions. (pls wateva d case, make sure u sample the congo!) Cheers! |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by dremoney(m): 11:47am On May 04, 2007 |
ebong4waz: wetin u dey yarn? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by tundysho(m): 2:14pm On May 04, 2007 |
femooooooooo bobo,wetin de now how long have u known her.av you taken time to know her background or her family re you very sure she is not an "AKUDAAYA" dou you know what i mean there Meeeeen,if you dont know all these,then lookk for other so many nija gals over there |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by lovito(f): 4:24pm On May 04, 2007 |
Tundysho,na wa for you o,why not read the post first before asking if she's akudaaya.Anyway she's not they've been family friend for sometime.so say someyhing else. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by Rlst84sale(m): 9:59pm On May 04, 2007 |
Is Blue-sky white/African? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by wifeypenth(f): 1:24pm On May 06, 2007 |
COURTSHIP isnt a do or die, sometimes it spoilks the whole show |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by Elgaxton(m): 4:33pm On May 07, 2007 |
My guy if u know what is good for u Just dont marry her until u know her in person without dem fone gist, if u marry her like dat, then u don marry ghost wey u dey only hear him voice, what do you think? after chatting wit one nairaland babe for months u com feel sey na marriage be next without courting, e no gel @ all |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by 9jaEzim: 5:30pm On May 08, 2007 |
Femo_a listen up good u ve being speaking to this girl for eight months n yes u previously knew her bk in the days in nigeria. but people change remember that if u dnt think so them look at your self and explore the changes that you ve gone through during a period of five or ten years if possible. in this modern day soceity courtship is so important i dnt personally believe that trans atlantic relationship dnt wrk even relationship with the same country were one lives in the opposite ends to the other there can be problem. it is difficult to advice you on what 2 do because if u have been talking to her for eight months on the phone you ve already built some sort of relationship and developed feelings 2 her but b warn behaviour on the phone and in person can be so different a phone based relationship is supported on a in stable foundation because you can easily detach yourself from it all why dnt you take your time and be patient give the relationship a lot more time to reveal its direction because for an eight month relationship that is not long enough. you need to experience courtship because that is the only way or revealing the flaws as well as the good side of someone were its harder for the person to pretend to be what they are not caz its so easily done on the phone and short time spent 2gether can be easily acted. also take into the many consideration of readjusting your life or her life who ever is to shift because that can cause a lot of problems if u do not really consider it so well if she is too move here then look for a job for her and help get her a work permit rather than marry her first. also let the reason that you are considering marriage to her not be due to pressure frm either side of the faily because then your not doin it 4 urselves but rather 2 please remember pressure from the family in nigeria is a lot and is real bad for girls expsecially those over the age of 25 and those who have graduated. if u met the family also judge their actions or behaviour and whether its geniuine as well as her own action men fall head over heals over a relationship that is purely based on friendship more than women and thats better than falling head over heals for sex the latter does not last no where near the first and the first can last forever but remember the only relationship u have developed is on the phone so u can't measure it so much to lasting forever i known alot of case study where men regret the actions that you are thinking of doing the girl needs 2 make serious decisions 2 migrating if that is the case without so much of your imput it is only too easy to say i will marry her so as she can get right of stay in london remember marriage is an investment u will lose everything (more than a man in a typial relationship) if she plays u or if it goes horridly wrong let there be courtship if she moves here or u move there. if you are truly 2 will go the distance, see no mountain beyond your reach, do even the impossible but remember it takes two 2 tango two to play a the love game, so dnt try n do the relationship on your own but seriously good luck your mum aint wedding the girl. parents who like their children to marry close family friend because they knw then but remember we children knw how to keep secrets from our parents hense our youthful days like maya angelou said in her books and in the film madea's family reunion by tyler perry ' one thing love is not is unsure its not a bad idea to watch the film seriously a truly inspirational yet gd film about love n life but word of wisdom from some of the most inspirational black people alive |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by AfricaFace(f): 3:34pm On May 09, 2007 |
You know what , people still culd understand what life is all about , Courtship or no courtship , a good woman will still be a good wife and a bad woman will still be a bad wife, From my view and experiences, Women's attitude and xter are situational. tehy react base on situations. If you study your woman , do those thinds she likes and i promise you will get the best off her. My advise to all you guys out there that are looking for a life partner any woman who is not diabolic, doesn't have a wicked mind , who is a christain(muslim) and doesn't flirt, that Likes your family value, relates well with your family, she is the best woman you can ever have. forget all other things, all other charcter will be displayed according to your attitude towards her, |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by finemocha(f): 7:07pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
man we nigerians really know how to drain the romance out of relationships |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by angelchi(f): 7:13pm On Jul 19, 2007 |
phone call is nt enough 4 u 2 wan to marry someone i tink u shld really know her, dnt rush in cos u might rush out. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by Mandora(f): 9:13am On Jul 20, 2007 |
That's like asking if u should run into a burning building of course u must get 2 know d person u want 2 marry. What explanation r u going 2 give when pple ask "how come u r complaining she did dis or dat, didn't u get 2 see those things b4 d marriage?" |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by quoua(m): 11:59am On Jul 31, 2007 |
hi what do you mean should you marry her before , my!! my!! my!!! you cannot marry someone without courting her. i think thats crazy anyway take your time dude good luck
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| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by Macutie(f): 12:15pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
Guy, its not only by the talk o! U need to know other things 2make it work! Do u know if she has habits u cant tolerate? Wat if it turns out dt she aint really dt picture u had of her in ur head? Man, invite her over ,get to know her better , then make up ur mind. Good luck man! |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by OpeLovely(f): 3:50pm On Aug 25, 2008 |
@ femo o Did you eventually marry the girl? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by topup: 3:56am On Aug 26, 2008 |
Let's not forget the other side to this story. Does she seem like she's ready for marriage or wants a future with you? Please don't enter into something with ignorance, have you two discussed a future together. Also, I don't anyone who isn't directly involved in the relationship can give you direct advice, we can only tell you what would be a smart thing to do. Are you in any rush, you sound like you want to 'waste' no more time in getting to know her and want to marry her ASAP. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by cyrusdevir(m): 10:59am On Aug 26, 2008 |
my advice is that u should think and pray very well for a girl close to u during courtship but a long distance courtship is not the best b/c she will give u the best attitute/behaviour that u least expect b/c she believe u r far away n can't picture her rolling in her negative side. Check it out ''dating a girl close , u need prayers n staying with her to see alittle of her bad behaviour let alone if u r not with her, bros pls don't try it, its a risk u can avoid pls avoid it, |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Without Courting Her? by vampire(m): 7:44am On Sep 04, 2008 |
depends on the situation but generally not safe, your case might be an exeption sha |
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