ImaIma1:
When someone says marrying on that kind of salary is not advisable, they will say we are materialistic.

Imagine if a child is involved. You will know that it's not about being prudent or being a wife material.

Meanwhile, on this forum, a guy has been urged on to get married on a 40k salary. You guys should tell yourself the truth and stop hiding under "a good woman will manage"

This is real life, real expenses.

By the way, what if someone who earned well before wedding loses his high paying job after wedding.

What matters most is money management skills. Secondly, if you have no choice than to ask for recharge card. He should not have informed her on the purpose of the purchase. It's not everything a man or woman should tell his or her spouse because the reaction would be terrible

jeff1607:



it is possible, if one can't manage a small amount , when a larger sum comes he or she will say the same story.

some guys earn 200k monthly but can't boast of any savings and yet they complain it's too small

Fact

My brother shun long grammar and concentrate on making good money...


Never mind any man telling u that his woman always takes care of the financial responsibilities and still respect him completely... Na scam

So make money and more money, she would never be irritated by trivial things again!

You went to goan marry on 60k salary brother, u re not different from those that feed from hand to mouth. You better double ur hustle and make money.


ops hope there is no child btw u too o.

Mrjo:
kids everywhere, actually the post is not for people like you look at shameless you are simple sentences you can't understand why on earth you did not see where he said the business of the woman is down?

Hello Grandpa! Are u OK??

Don't quote me when you can't punctuate sentences properly. Shameless grandpa!

Hotworta1:
My dear your wife is stressed. Try and double your hustle you too. If your wife has really achieved this much and has been very supportive from your narration indeed she's a wife material.

Pls try and get an additional income biko...the situation of the country presently isn't something for someone to just be lazy or dependent on one source of income.


Pls reason with her biko

Your name must be Biko

xendra:
now you are trying to be an ingrate, you are not even shameful enough that a woman is catering for you, you now want to prove a man to your family with her money. SMH! tell them you don't have money and stop adding to the woman's stress.

Women are scum

tee59:
Your wife is the head of your family in as much as she takes the major financial responsibility of that house. It can be frustrating at times, saddling the burden of the both families. She's a strong woman and must be appreciated. You need to make more money to take back your leadership role in your home. I know, there are some decisions both of you need to make but if your wife disagrees, it won't work out.Your wife can not be totally submissive to you, let be frank here. You're too lazy to make more money.

You are a home breaker. The man remains the head no matter what!

LordKO:
Embrace and pet your wife, her unsavoury outburst notwithstanding. She simply acted on impulse of stress/frustration. After making peace with her, you can then calmly register your displeasure towards her tactless reaction and implore her to refrain from doing such next time. . . she could have easily turned down your request instead of rattling you with tactless reaction.

Citing your submission, on a general note, both of you're responsible, despite your financial limitations at the moment. Keep on putting in your best.

Stop giving women reasons to be weak.

jeff1607:



people are doing great things with that same amount and you are here complaining.

hope reality doesn't hit you hard when you start using pension to pay school fees

Lolzz

Lol...u people will soon settle,its normal, but u should find something doing o.

Acidosis:


He should do blood money na abi. You folks should stop putting baseless pressures on the young man with the double your hustle talk. What if he's not educationally qualified to double that hustle? What is he going to do? He could be a civil servant with no room for side hustles. Best he could do is wait patiently for promotion or improved minimum wage.



@OP, your problem started the moment you moved into a 3 bedroom flat. Never allow your wife's income dictate your taste. You should have designed your family based on your own income, and may be 20% from wifey. When your income increases, then you can increase your taste

Please endeavour to manage the situation. 60,000 is not so much but if properly managed with your wife's contribution, N200 recharge card shouldn't be a problem.

Why's your mind tilting towards blood money bros. So if anybody advises him to double his hustle...he's been advised to do blood money?? Common Nigerians!

So you didn't think that doubling one's hustle could mean opening an akara/potato/plantain chips frying business with a capital as low as 5k. You think OPs wife is just being stressed as a mere word...she's equally irritated that her hubby will ask her for 200 recharge card for father-in-law.

Let me digress a little and call a spade a spade,,,,though it might not be true... but...something tells me OP might be d opposite of his wife...do not believe every story coming from one person until you've heard from the 2nd party.


Op pls get a side business...you are relaxing too much as the head of house and pls hold done with child birth until you can provide fully for your family.

Codes151:
From your recent Comments!! It’s obvious money solves everything o

Almost everything no doubt about that

Lexusgs430:


And he is surprised she was mad at him.........


How come he cannot tell his dad, he has no money to send call credit?

How come it's N200, he wants to send to his dad?

Sounds like a side chick. The sum is too paltry for a working guy to send to his parents.

Weathered:


When a woman spends, the insults will flow. Women are not built to carry a man's responsibility.

Millions of men are looking after their wives' entire family but do not complain about it.

Why should men complain? Don't we want to be called the "heads of the home again"?

Or has your Nigerian economic downturn made men begin to feel entitled to women carrying their cross?

Be a man! Women don't complain as much as men do when they have to clean their houses, take care of their husbands and make money. But men complain about just making money.

If we want to remain heads we don't act like feet.

jeff1607:



it is possible, if one can't manage a small amount , when a larger sum comes he or she will say the same story.

some guys earn 200k monthly but can't boast of any savings and yet they complain it's too small

Oga, as a married man you can't do shii with 40k/month. Foodstuffs and school fee don down the money, not to talk of saving and investing.

40k nor reach, if you try am suffer go involve oh

LordKO:
Embrace and pet your wife, her unsavoury outburst notwithstanding. She simply acted on impulse of stress/frustration. After making peace with her, you can then calmly register your displeasure towards her tactless reaction and implore her to refrain from doing such next time. . . she could have easily turned down your request instead of rattling you with tactless reaction.

Citing your submission, on a general note, both of you're responsible, despite your financial limitations at the moment. Keep on putting in your best.

Well done

smasher1:


By the way, what if someone who earned well before wedding loses his high paying job after wedding.

What matters most is money management skills. Secondly, if you have no choice than to ask for recharge card. He should not have informed her on the purpose of the purchase. It's not everything a man or woman should tell his or her spouse because the reaction would be terrible

You cannot compare someone who lost his job along the line to someone who dives head in with a little amount. I am sure you know they are different scenarios.

Money management matters but obviously his money is not even enough to manage. His wife is handling the bulk of the bills. What if her business wasn't doing well?

Whether he told her it was for his father or not, in his mind he knows that he is also adding to her burden.

Besides, a man should be the one handling most of the house needs especially for his ego. A man's ego cannot handle it

stagger:
Guy, who is the head of that family? You or your wife. Stop being a Sissy. Expand your income base and send money to your own parents.

The main job of a man is to provide for his household. A man that cannot do that is not a man. That job is not the woman's job.

How can you ask your wife to give you airtime to send to your own parents?

It baffles me the number of women with male peraphernalia on this thread.

Men want to remain men while wanting to switch roles. Men who can't provide for their families have failed in their primary responsibility

Some of them here complaining will quote their Bibles on submission, but ignore the part that states that "...a man who cannot care for his family is worse than an infidel".

Nigerian men are a disappointment to all men. Just look at them all over this thread talking like women.

Don't know if anyone else has noticed it, but going through the Op's post history, I found out Op is a "she" and probably the wife if this story is true that is.

While I know some men really appreciate their spouse, Op was just praising herself and trying to deflect any blame for herself for the issue at hand by saying how hard she works, how she moved him from a single room to a 3 bedroom flat etc so the main issue is lost, i.e insulting her husband's family/dad and she succeeded because all the comments are saying "Op, your wife is stressed" etc.

I think the issue goes deeper than what she put up here. Perhaps Op's husband doesn't really support her, but the fact is she insulted his family.

In het last thread which coincidentally also made front page a day or two back, Op asked for the salary scale of a non academic staff of a university. She must have done this because she obviously doesn't know her husband's actual salary, so from the responses on that thread, she was able to arrive at N60k and then proceeded to create this thread stating "he" (i.e pretending to be her husband) earns N60,000, bla bla bla.

Besides, something tells me this is her alternate account.

Dear Op, I understand your frustrations towards the lack of or inadequate contributions from your husband, but you crossed the line and hit below the belt when you insulted his family/dad. Go and apologize to him.

deltateam:


I thought I was the only one that noticed it. Maybe she's frustrated herself, by herself and with herself.

I also noticed it..that was too harsh..I mean very deep..if to say na me she tell such words.I for dey seriously depressed by now.

kullozone:


Oga, as a married man you can't do shii with 40k/month. Foodstuffs and school fee don down the money, not to talk of saving and investing.

40k nor reach, if you try am suffer go involve oh

foodstuffs?
as one already pointed out your locale plays a big role,

I would have loved to explain in steps but can't type all here, but bro it's very possible, you can't have all you want but you can have all you need, also the type of wife you have is also taken into consideration.

you can't live in posh areas, you plan in long term, you eat well so illness doesn't take a toll on you, sometimes it can be frustrating but you can pull through.

got some colleagues that earn above 150k and yet they live in face me I face you yet no savings, some have already being paid for this month the money is almost finished,they are looking forward to i.o.u on the 15th, no plans nothing. they live life as it is, thinking it will always remain so. it's not easy earn such small amount but it's possible.

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Nitefury:
Don't know if anyone else has noticed it, but going through the Op's post history, I found out Op is a "she" and probably the wife if this story is true that is.

While I know some men really appreciate their spouse, Op was just praising herself and trying to deflect any blame for herself for the issue at hand by saying how hard she works, how she moved him from a single room to a 3 bedroom flat etc so the main issue is lost, i.e insulting her husband's family/dad and she succeeded because all the comments are saying "Op, your wife is stressed" etc.

I think the issue goes deeper than what she put up here. Perhaps Op's husband doesn't really support her, but the fact is she insulted his family.

In het last thread which coincidentally also made front page a day or two back, Op asked for the salary scale of a non academic staff of a university. She must have done this because she obviously doesn't know her husband's actual salary, so from the responses on that thread, she was able to arrive at N60k and then proceeded to create this thread stating "he" (i.e pretending to be her husband) earns N60,000, bla bla bla.

Besides, something tells me this is her alternate account.

Dear Op, I understand your frustrations towards the lack of or inadequate contributions from your husband, but you crossed the line and hit below the belt when you insulted his family/dad. Go and apologize to him.

seriously ..you make sense.everybody saying bull-shit..must she say suchthat's a very big insult..if na me,even meals she cooks with her money won't get into my mouth..

emerald16:
My wife has been really helpful from when we started dating, she has actually taken me from grass to grace and helped me from a self contained to a 3bedroom flat. She has been helping with house expenses for over a year now, I do work but my salary is very small, just around 60k.

She is into business which flourished so much but it's a little down for now. She helped made our marriage possible by contributing far more than i. She is every woman's dream and is even poised to help me secure a better job and a side business.

I have also contributed my part in helping her grow her business though not financially but through technical support, expert advice and more as she just started her business the very month we started dating but though in a small way with very little capital.

I feel I have over burdened her with my own problem and she is carrying way too much on her shoulders cos her parents and siblings are also depending on her.
I felt a pinch of her frustration when I asked her if she could help transfer a little sum of 200 naira to me for airtime, she was about doing it when I told her I actually wanted to send the amount as airtime to my dad,then she flared up saying she will take care of me, herself and even my parents! I felt bad and terrible cos I rarely ask her for money to send to my people except on very rare occasions which are but a few.

I kept mute and didn't feel like talking to her and we haven't exchanged a proper conversation since last night when it happened.

What do I do? Even when I try to initiate a conversation, she doesn't seem interested

bro I'm in the same situation, I'm married for at least 18yrs now, and there is d bad d good time. My wife has been supportive two but presently Im going through a very tough time of my life. Even though there is cooperation, we had a quarrel yesterday, and since then she has been behaving like d lord of the minor. My prayer is God bless you and my self beyond our heart desires ,is then u can command a full respect in ur home, she will still talk to u after some time, but is it d best? No but I tell people no matter how much u think ur wife is supporting you, there must be a little insult attached to it.

Hotworta1:



Why's your mind tilting towards blood money bros. So if anybody advises him to double his hustle...he's been advised to do blood money?? Common Nigerians!

So you didn't think that doubling one's hustle could mean opening an akara/potato/plantain chips frying business with a capital as low as 5k. You think OPs wife is just being stressed as a mere word...she's equally irritated that her hubby will ask her for 200 recharge card for father-in-law.

Let me digress a little and call a spade a spade,,,,though it might not be true... but...something tells me OP might be d opposite of his wife...do not believe every story coming from one person until you've heard from the 2nd party.


Op pls get a side business...you are relaxing too much as the head of house and pls hold done with child birth until you can provide fully for your family.

You're still repeating the same trash I condemned in my previous post. I have no issues with doubling hustles or whatever we call it. We all hustle and strive to earn a living, but at the end of it all, some people won't earn 70k in their life time. Hustle or no hustle, there will always be a limit to what we all earn. Why don't you go and hustle and live larger than Dangote? Na so e easy ba??


That his wife earns more doesn't mean the man work less. It doesn't signify laziness either. We don't have an idea the nature of his job, his qualifications, etc. He could be an ND holder doing a teller job in a bank. How much do banks pay ND holders again?

If doubling hustle leads to wealth, Nigeria shouldn't be the world's poverty capital; people shouldn't enrol in their millions for a 30k NPower job.

All I see is a man living beyond his means. Life is about progression, 60k in a 3-bedroom apartment is f00lishness. It shows they spend wrecklessly on other household needs. His mates live in single rooms and room and parlour, and they're doing just fine. Single rooms are not meant for lepers or ghosts but humans with limited budget. For every expensive good or service in the market today, there is a cheaper alternative, and these alternatives are not meant for animals but humans with limited capital.

dre11:


I got married when i was earning that amount..... But now my salary is in '5'zeros..

Who says you can't.... Its your determination to make a success and your wife effort and understanding that makes the difference

So you would advise a man get married with that amount in this present economy? Who knows if you had another source of income to augment.

Even in marriage counseling, money is a topic on its own. They advise couples because money is one of the major causes of divorce.

Lovelyn451:
Lol...u people will soon settle,its normal, but u should find something doing o.

Your beauty though

bamidelee:

when you're fifty years and earn bogus salaries, you'll marry then.

Already married

You can go ahead and marry with 20k salary. But don't open a thread like the op to complain.

emerald16:
My wife has been really helpful from when we started dating, she has actually taken me from grass to grace and helped me from a self contained to a 3bedroom flat. She has been helping with house expenses for over a year now, I do work but my salary is very small, just around 60k.

She is into business which flourished so much but it's a little down for now. She helped made our marriage possible by contributing far more than i. She is every woman's dream and is even poised to help me secure a better job and a side business.

I have also contributed my part in helping her grow her business though not financially but through technical support, expert advice and more as she just started her business the very month we started dating but though in a small way with very little capital.

I feel I have over burdened her with my own problem and she is carrying way too much on her shoulders cos her parents and siblings are also depending on her.
I felt a pinch of her frustration when I asked her if she could help transfer a little sum of 200 naira to me for airtime, she was about doing it when I told her I actually wanted to send the amount as airtime to my dad,then she flared up saying she will take care of me, herself and even my parents! I felt bad and terrible cos I rarely ask her for money to send to my people except on very rare occasions which are but a few.

I kept mute and didn't feel like talking to her and we haven't exchanged a proper conversation since last night when it happened.

What do I do? Even when I try to initiate a conversation, she doesn't seem interested

u Bleep up guy

ImaIma1:


Even in marriage counseling, money is a topic on its own. They advise couples because money is one of the major causes of divorce.

They advise couples to live within their means.

SmartyPants:


So you're going to ignore the fact that the marriage has been fine up until this issue? The fact is that this story actually proves that getting married on a budget can work albeit with some discomfort which the parties should expect.

Until this issue? There is always a build up. If you want to marry on a slim budget, be ready to be angry anytime you are asked for money