Hi People,

Please I need ur advice.

I want to give u the background jist so u'll understand my dilema, when i was in the University i had this guy who asked me out practically through out school we never dated but he never gave up. for me i just didnt 'feel' him if u know what i mean.

after school we lost touch until he found me again and the hunt continued, all in all he did this for 8yrs! At a point i had to ask myself if i wasnt being to hardhearted and loose someone who obviously liked me, so last year i decided to give the relationship a try to see if it would work out.

i came to realise he is a very good person caring etc but one thing was still missing i dont love him and not only that there just isnt any chemistry i have tried but its just something u cant force , its either there or not right?

so i tried calling it off cause i feel it wont be fair to go ahead and marry him when i know i dont love him as he does me, but he is not ready to let go

here lies the problem and my cry for help, do i go ahead as some feel its better for a guy to love a woman or should i just stand my ground for both our sakes?

Plz don't marry anyone cos you pity him or b'cos he/she will be hurt. If you don't Love him let him know now.

love is the basis for every relationship
if you don't feel anything then don't do anything

all the best.

U don't love him, u only pity him. There is no point continuing

Dont try to please someone else at your own expense.

Dont marry someone you are sure you cant stand to love. .  you'll cheat on him and take him for granted.

You'll both end up miserable and old.

My dear, to help you make up your mind, let me paint you a simple scenario.

Two years down the line, you go to a function and see this dude that the chemistry is good and the bobo is fine. What would be holding you back? Pity?

If there ain't no chemistry, please call it off and make your excuses now.

It's a common advise to marry someone that loves you to bit.
I'm not saying you should marry him because you pity him but why don't/can't you love him?
What's the problem? Have you tried tackling that first?

^^^

I think she is not attracted to him in any way whatsoever.

That can be tough.

jay bee:

It's a common advise to marry someone that loves you to bit.
I'm not saying you should marry him because you pity him but why don't/can't you love him?
What's the problem? Have you tried tackling that first?

U re right,
Hey poster , listen to dis advice it might help u.

Poster, dont make a mistake u wuld l8r regret, 8yrs is no joke! why cant u love him? is he that bad?

^^^
thats not the point,
@poster
the worst mistake u'll make is 2 go into a marriage based on pity, u'll regret it. Just tell him whats up and go find some1 u love

Omolola1:

Poster, dont make a mistake u wuld l8r regret, 8yrs is no joke! why cant u love him? is he that bad?

she's not saying he's bad or strange but, she can't just creat feelings for him . , ''No Love''.
How u dey.

Well then, she has to leave him. dsense, i dey kampe!

Omolola1:

Well then, she has to leave him. dsense, i dey kampe!

gud to hear that.

jay bee:

It's a common advise to marry someone that loves you to bit.
I'm not saying you should marry him because you pity him but why don't/can't you love him?
What's the problem? Have you tried tackling that first?

jay bee, i have really tried but its just not working i've psyched myself and all but,

Omolola1:

Poster, dont make a mistake u wuld l8r regret, 8yrs is no joke! why cant u love him? is he that bad?

he's not bad at all and i dont understand it either' i used to believe falling in love was a choice thing but i have found out its not like that at all its really beyond my control

Do u like him enuff though?
Their must be something about him that's putting u off loving him. Think deeply about it as it could be any off the following:
sexual attraction/incompatibility
appearance
behaviour
Age difference
Laid back and not the outgoing type

U dated him for 8yrs and know now wants to ditch him? After everything u ve been thru.

@Phate07 kindly read the post well, he chased her for 8yrs, they didnt date for 8yrs. @ Poster- i suggest you stand ur ground, let him go.