Of all my loved ones, my malé is the only one thats never let me down. She is the only human I trust. Na she be my No.1, and na she sure pass.

My wife and kids are the only people I can ever love more than my mum.

genq:

Your mothers are free to walk away if they can - but unfortunately many Nigerian women are unable to leave such marriages as they cannot fend for themselves otherwise. These women ( who contribute very little to the household) have no negotiating power in that marriage - so, they grow old and bitter and continue to leech of their husbands financially - then have the shameless guts to poison the gullible minds of the kids against the father.

Unfortunately, these naive kids then grow up conveniently ignoring the fact that their wonderful mother had no dignity or financial backing to be able to walk away from the so called polygamous father.

So my point remains, it is none of your business as a child. Or better yet, if the child has a brain, he/she should think objectively and ask their mother the REAL reason why she choose to remain in that marriage.

Btw, Midas01 learn to express yourself in an educated manner.

The father should not think he will get away unscathed. For all actions, there are consequences. You can't treat the mother of your kids dishonourably and expect honour from those same kids. As you lay your bed you lie on it.

There is nothing like it is none of your business as a child.

bukatyne:


Kudos to him.

May you be able to be a source of pride to him and continue his leagcy

Amin. I'm set on course, Insha Allahu

genq:




Your mothers are free to walk away if they can - but unfortunately many Nigerian women are unable to leave such marriages as they cannot fend for themselves otherwise. These women ( who contribute very little to the household) have no negotiating power in that marriage - so, they grow old and bitter and continue to leech of their husbands financially - then have the shameless guts to poison the gullible minds of the kids against the father.

Unfortunately, these naive kids then grow up conveniently ignoring the fact that their wonderful mother had no dignity or financial backing to be able to walk away from the so called polygamous father.

So my point remains, it is none of your business as a child. Or better yet, if the child has a brain, he/she should think objectively and ask their mother the REAL reason why she choose to remain in that marriage.

Btw, Midas01 learn to express yourself in an educated manner.

.


You deserve a medal for this comment.

obembet:
I have read series of argument on nairaland and other forums but it still baffled me why many children considered mother first before thier father. I'm a young lady too, I have feelings for my mom but my dad always been thier without any excuse.
mom is more important from birth till you go to school. After that it is the father who takes care of your education, guides you in your career. At least in my case this is true because my mom was uneducated. My dad teaches us and guides all his children to succeed in life. Without my dad I will lose my path and fail in life. Therefore, In my case my father was a good man. My mom gave me life but my father taught me how to live.

What's your views?

Cc Lalasticlala
MissyB3
Fynestboi
Dominique
mynd44

Nice write up.
Same here, my Dad before my mum.

[quote author=olabrinks post=82553441]Mothers love can never compete with a dad. Story for the gods

In the average home, boys tend to love their mothers more while girls tend to love their fathers more.

folake4u:
Although he's annoying too but then again...

Hahaha �

My mum is great
My dad is fantastic...
place them side by side, I enjoy the company of my mum a lot, there is hardly anything to discuss with my dad. My conversation with my dad 8s always dominated with silence and mutual respect.

But truth be told, I care more for my dad (perhaps it is a natural instinct). I simply can't imagine where and what I would be without him. Mine would have (probably) been a dream without meaning and an ambition without drive. Maybe one day I will have the courage to his silent support.

In my case, both of the complement each other. Mum fills up where dad falters and vice versa.

My mum will never sleep knowing fully well that your stomach is empty while my dad will not rest when your school bills are not settled.

I go with my father anyday anytime
He got my back and got me well

You should've left out the part where you said because your mom is not educated. That doesn't diminish her in anyway and is not a measure of her love and importance in your life. That she can't help you academically doesn't make her less valuable than your pop who has that ability.
Don't be delusional, with only your mom, you wouldn't have still lost your path in life if you're not destined to.
That your father had the means is not the true measure of affection in itself, the heart is what matters.

Learn to make reasonable contributions and you'll get proper responses devoid of insults from me.

It is absolutely gut wrenching having to reply to such comments as yours. Victim blaming as usual.

Your premise is, if a woman is being unfairly she has absolutely no right to harbour grudges or be bitter and tell her kids about the actions and inactions of their father? Where is your outrage for the actual perpetrator of the violence/philandering? Comments like yours which glorify abusers while blaming victims for not walking away shouldn't even be dignified with a response so consider this an act of courtesy.

It is none of the kids business? Hahahaha. Let me tell you how myopic that sounds. That is like saying Buhari's governance and policies has absolutely nothing to do with citizens. That is like saying whatever our leaders do is no business of ours.

I suggest you enlighten yourself on the statistics of what domestic violence, philandering etc can do to a marriage. When a man brings home contractible diseases to his wife, the kids can easily get them, it could even lead to death in some instances like we saw with the case of Senator Elisha Abbo whose wife lost her life after being allegedly infected with HIV by her husband.

All these and you dare sit there and blab nonsense about it having nothing to do with their kids.

genq:




Your mothers are free to walk away if they can - but unfortunately many Nigerian women are unable to leave such marriages as they cannot fend for themselves otherwise. These women ( who contribute very little to the household) have no negotiating power in that marriage - so, they grow old and bitter and continue to leech of their husbands financially - then have the shameless guts to poison the gullible minds of the kids against the father.

Unfortunately, these naive kids then grow up conveniently ignoring the fact that their wonderful mother had no dignity or financial backing to be able to walk away from the so called polygamous father.

So my point remains, it is none of your business as a child. Or better yet, if the child has a brain, he/she should think objectively and ask their mother the REAL reason why she choose to remain in that marriage.

Btw, Midas01 learn to express yourself in an educated manner.

..............

How did it even miss this hot gist? In my own case, dad was a police officer, never around. Mum was all we knew. She was all in all. The few times he was around we couldn't bond with him. But as the first child, i was sensing that mum was using her emotional bond with us to work against dad. As a husband, he was really terrible. At a time he used his fists on her when we were young. But as a father he would not play with us or bond emotionally but he paid our fees without owing, he never for once womanizer, he always came back home, he loved education and he severely messed up anybody that tried none sense with us. As i got older, my respect for him has really grown. That doesn't mean i love mum any less by the way.

pocohantas:
It shouldn't baffle you that many children consider their mothers first. People will naturally form a longterm bond with the person who has their back most.

In most Nigerian families, that person is usually the mother. Maybe because the father is out there hustling- when he is home and has time to bond with the kids, he chooses to be a tyrant. Some others are doing men are polygamous in nature. Then we have the set who are genuine victims of a manipulative wife.

I am closer to my dad and it didn't come in stages- it has been there right from childhood. It also has nothing to do with him paying fees, my parents trained me jointly to the best of my knowledge. However, my father built the bond, he was my go-to person. He wasn't out there making excuses and waiting to accuse my mum of turning us against him. That is what sensible fathers do.

GOD BLESS YOU. GOD BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE. GOD BLESS YOUR SEED SEEDS. GOD PROSPER YOU.

I will definitely consider my dad first

Hanks0000:
My mum all the way ..
My dad his not a human but a baboon.. I hate him with the greatest passion in the world.... Useless asshat

SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOU. HE MAY BE A BABOO, ASSHOLE, ETC - LOOK IN THE MIRROR, WHO DID YOU SEE? WHAT DID YOU SEE? GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOU.

obembet:
I have read series of argument on nairaland and other forums but it still baffled me why many children considered mother first before thier father. I'm a young lady too, I have feelings for my mom but my dad always been thier without any excuse.
mom is more important from birth till you go to school. After that it is the father who takes care of your education, guides you in your career. At least in my case this is true because my mom was uneducated. My dad teaches us and guides all his children to succeed in life. Without my dad I will lose my path and fail in life. Therefore, In my case my father was a good man. My mom gave me life but my father taught me how to live.

What's your views?

Cc Lalasticlala
MissyB3
Fynestboi
Dominique
mynd44

Without peace in the house, your father would have struggled to achieve all that.

You didn't feel her direct impact cos she was working behind the scene

Midas01:
When a man brings home contractible diseases to his wife, the kids can easily get them

If this statement isn't the height of stupidity, I don't know what is. Kids can now get chalmydia from their mothers I guess.

Midas01:
Learn to make reasonable contributions and you'll get proper responses devoid of insults from me.

It is absolutely gut wrenching having to reply to such comments as yours. Victim blaming as usual.

Your premise is, if a woman is being unfairly she has absolutely no right to harbour grudges or be bitter and tell her kids about the actions and inactions of their father? Where is your outrage for the actual perpetrator of the violence/philandering? Comments like yours which glorify abusers while blaming victims for not walking away shouldn't even be dignified with a response so consider this an act of courtesy.

It is none of the kids business? Hahahaha. Let me tell you how myopic that sounds. That is like saying Buhari's governance and policies has absolutely nothing to do with citizens. That is like saying whatever our leaders do is no business of ours.

I suggest you enlighten yourself on the statistics of what domestic violence, philandering etc can do to a marriage. When a man brings home contractible diseases to his wife, the kids can easily get them, it could even lead to death in some instances like we saw with the case of Senator Elisha Abbo whose wife lost her life after being allegedly infected with HIV by her husband.

All these and you dare sit there and blab nonsense about it having nothing to do with their kids.

His submission is shocking.
That's the mind of an average Nigerian guys( u can see from the likes) out there believing that women is meant to serve and worship them.
That also is his life story. He has a mum his dad reduced to a whimp and he isn't proud of her as his mother.

We can see that the mum sits at home all day waiting for the father of her kids to come home to her but when he comes, he insults and assaults her before him and his siblings. His dad prefers them to their mum and never failed to tell them so. I'm not surprised at his posts degrading women.

But some, guys born and brought up in such environment corrects it when they grow up.

I am so sorry for whomever he will marry. But if he marries my type, I will make sure I send him to hell faster.

They think they are wise but their attitude towards women has made most men to train somebody's child as his in Nigeria. Who is losing?
U treat your woman as trash, she might decide to go to her gateman for peace of mind.
And for those saying men are busy looking for money, those women we see in the market, offices etc are playing there. The difference is that while mothers are in the market or office, no matter how tired they are,they knew that they still have another work waiting for them at home unlike fathers that will come home and go to bed straight.
U have to wake him up sometimes to eat.

These women may be pregnant again while juggling house work, office and what have u and they don't complain. They do it for the love they have for their kids.
Instead of men to help with homework or bath, they will be waiting for who will answer him "sir".

Nonetheless, kudos to the wonderful dad's out there.

backbone503:
Of all my loved ones, my malé is the only one thats never let me down. She is the only human I trust. Na she be my No.1, and na she sure pass.

My wife and kids are the only people I can ever love more than my mum.

What about your siblings

Hanks0000:
My mum all the way ..
My dad his not a human but a baboon.. I hate him with the greatest passion in the world.... Useless asshat

Ahhhhhhh, I remembered posting something similar about my mum on Facebook, a friend shut my down saying I shouldn't do such thing on a public forum, telling me it was like washing my dirty linen in public, ever since then I watch what I say about my parents..
However, I guess you're saying 5his about yours cos this is a faceless forum.

UnknownQueen:


What about your siblings

For now, No.1: my mum, No.2: my nieces, siblings, my girl and dad. No.3: Others.

However, when I marry, my wife and kids go overtake mum for No.1 position.

pocohantas:
It shouldn't baffle you that many children consider their mothers first. People will naturally form a longterm bond with the person who has their back most.

In most Nigerian families, that person is usually the mother. Maybe because the father is out there hustling- when he is home and has time to bond with the kids, he chooses to be a tyrant. Some others are doing men are polygamous in nature. Then we have the set who are genuine victims of a manipulative wife.

I am closer to my dad and it didn't come in stages- it has been there right from childhood. It also has nothing to do with him paying fees, my parents trained me jointly to the best of my knowledge. However, my father built the bond, he was my go-to person. He wasn't out there making excuses and waiting to accuse my mum of turning us against him. That is what sensible fathers do.

I totally second your point. As a businessman, I will liken your illustration to "what you invest equal what you expect". So many fathers have failed in bonding properly with their kids. Then turn to blame their wives. I've seen many make the mistake you stated above, as a result they were even totally abandoned at old age.

Call me crazy.....i’ll consider none.

sassysure:


They think they are wise but their attitude towards women has made most men to train somebody's child as his in Nigeria. Who is losing?
U treat your woman as trash, she might decide to go to her gateman for peace of mind.

See them, lazy women who can't fend for themselves. Instead of walking out on a toxic marriage, they'd rather sit there worthlessly and have the man cover their financial needs.

A housewife who expects her husband to come home from a long day at work and start changing diapers while she sits there getting fat and shapeless off his sweat - mind you, she probably has a househelp too. So, if a woman has chosen to make herself so useless, why won't he cheat?

If una like, sleep with numerous drivers, gatemen and mechanics in a pathetic attempt to get back at your husbands - it won't bring you the fulfilment you so desperately seek. Feminism is not by mouth alone - get a job and get the fvck out. Your children are not a means to an end.

UnknownQueen:



Ahhhhhhh, I remembered posting something similar about my mum on Facebook, a friend shut my down saying I shouldn't do such thing on a public forum, telling me it was like washing my dirty linen in public, ever since then I watch what I say about my parents..
However, I guess you're saying 5his about yours cos this is a faceless forum.

Our parents, spouse and children are people we should never go to war with or speak negatively of them in public.

pocohantas:
It shouldn't baffle you that many children consider their mothers first. People will naturally form a longterm bond with the person who has their back most.

In most Nigerian families, that person is usually the mother. Maybe because the father is out there hustling- when he is home and has time to bond with the kids, he chooses to be a tyrant. Some others are doing men are polygamous in nature. Then we have the set who are genuine victims of a manipulative wife.

I am closer to my dad and it didn't come in stages- it has been there right from childhood. It also has nothing to do with him paying fees, my parents trained me jointly to the best of my knowledge. However, my father built the bond, he was my go-to person. He wasn't out there making excuses and waiting to accuse my mum of turning us against him. That is what sensible fathers do.

I agree with 99% of your points, but the Tyrant part is somehow to me. Are you saying fathers who are disciplinarian are Tyrants and as a result won't bond well with their children?

olabrinks:
Mothers love can never compete with a dad. Mothers will always be number one in a child’s life.

My Dad is my number one in life after my Creator.

it's not about who love u Bcus u wanted it.... but about who impacted More on u.....
happy birthday to me...

Teerach:
Ladies naturally love their dad. Men their mom.

Not true in all cases.

As for me, mum over dad. Both of blessed memory.

Mandeyy:
Hahaha �