i dnt think the age thing shld be a problem as long as u both feel comfortable abt it and why do nigerians always think of what family will say when it comes to their personal lives.

Re-ea-ally? You actually conducted some in-depth attitudinal research into this area, plotted the results into a Gant chart and discovered that bossy women were often 'older or richer' than their husbands.

All that's unnecessary, if you're witty, common sense does the trick.

Wonderful!  Did it occur to you that the lady who refused to give her husband the keys to the car because she had just put some gas in it, was just being stingy?

So you now know my own friend more than I know him abi?
By the way did you conduct some in-depth attitudinal research into this area, plotted the results into a Gant chart and discovered that she didn't release the car keys because she's stingy.
lol, very nice response "stingy" - your man needs his car and you won't give him the keys because you're stingy.

No. To you, it had to have been the age difference. Are you saying women who are younger than their husbands, do not deny their husbands the use of the car?

Are you saying that if they had been younger than their husbands, they wouldn't have been bossy?

no, you don't have to jump to conclusions.
regardless of your perspective/twist, women dating younger men is non-conventional, it's usually the other way around

It didn't occcur to you that these women were bossy, simply because being bossy' was a character trait they possessed right from day one, and not because there was an age difference between them & their husbands.

Lolololol, you're here making the same statements I'm making, and you're here telling me to research?

Haven't you seen younger women 'lording' it over their husbands or 'bossing' their husbands, around?

I already shared with you the ones I see.  On a grand scale.

What does it tell you about the emotional maturity of the man?

nothing at all.  emotional maturity ain't the question here.
if you say the man's vulnerable, then make your case I'll agree with you, but don't sit there shouting emotional maturity.

Last note: First class, Juintade, spoilt, IG & English1 thanks for your articulate words & logical reasoning. Thumbs up, guys!

Bias. I hope you date a woman that's 10 years older than you by the way.  Just for the sake of trying it out, come back and share your experience.

Your speculation is about as wayward as mine, so let's keep it up.
It's so damn funny how these principles of love tend to change so dramatically.  Since love is so age-blind, and love-driven, how come we have women saying they wouldn't want men shorter than they are? ehn?  I thought if you love the guy it shouldn't matter, right?

my dear love doesnt also comes in juicy bags it comes in various bits of stones u must grind into jucy bags that u can easily carry so i fel if boith genuily love each other and u think u can respect him as a husband and he thinks he can cope with that then 4 me io see no qualms with that i once dated a gil older than me i must confess it was a nice experience u wud be matured in ur dealings
wish u the best of luck and tells us the day of your marriage

fekuti:

All that's unnecessary, if you're witty, common sense does the trick.So you now know my own friend more than I know him abi?
By the way did you conduct some in-depth attitudinal research into this area, plotted the results into a Gant chart and discovered that she didn't release the car keys because she's stingy.
lol, very nice response "stingy" - your man needs his car and you won't give him the keys because you're stingy.no, you don't have to jump to conclusions.

Yeah, the word is 'stingy.' Am sure you know what it means. And you are right I don't know your friend. But a clear look at the story you shared, shows that the lady did not deny him the keys to the car, because she was older than him, (at least you didn't say those were her initial remarks!), she did so, because she was stingy. And I didn't need to conduct any research, or plot any results into any chart. A simple observation of human behaviour, would make you arrive at the same conclusion. Its' funny though, to see you quoting my words back at me, because it shows you do not have such a large vocabulary, so you feel the need to borrow some of mine. Feel free, if it makes you happy. Would you like me to loan you my dictionary, so you can get more words & meanings?

fekuti:

regardless of your perspective/twist, women dating younger men is non-conventional, it's usually the other way around

I already shared with you the ones I see. 

Yeah, you can only share what you see in your own little world. It doesn't mean it does not happen elsewhere. A woman dating a younger man may be non-conventional in your eyes, but it doesn't mean it is wrong, bad or that such a relationship cannot work. And for your information, conventions DO change. In every society. So don't continue living in the past.

fekuti:

emotional maturity ain't the question here.
if you say the man's vulnerable, then make your case I'll agree with you, but don't sit there shouting emotional maturity.Bias. I hope you date a woman that's 10 years older than you by the way.  Just for the sake of trying it out, come back and share your experience.

If vulnerable is the way you choose to see it, then that's your own call. I see it as a lack of emotional maturity, and last time I checked, I had the right to my own views.

If a man has a strong sense of self-worth, a legit income, he fends for himself & his family, has a strong sense of self-esteem,doesn't depend on his wife for daily bread, treats all around him with respect and sincerity, I find it hard to see how a woman he married with his own money, would stand up to disrespect him simply because she is 'older'. Older, my foot. Why can't she take her old age back to her father's house? Why did she marry him in the first place & how come he did not see the signs that she would disrespect him on account of the age difference, before he married her?

I have met several couples with older & younger wives. Age has very little to do with how a woman treats a man. I have seen younger women treat their husbands like trash, and vice versa, while I have also seen older women treat their husbands with respect, maturity, love & understanding.

fekuti:

Your speculation is about as wayward as mine, so let's keep it up.
It's so damn funny how these principles of love tend to change so dramatically.  Since love is so age-blind, and love-driven, how come we have women saying they wouldn't want men shorter than they are? ehn?  I thought if you love the guy it shouldn't matter, right?

Ask those who gave answers as to why they wouldn't marry a shorter guy.

I have seen tall women marrying shorter guys & vice versa. An example is a neighbour of mine. The wife is about 6ft 2, while the husband is a mere 5ft 9. To cap it all, the woman looks like a beauty queen. Their marriage is a study in commitment, sincerity & affection. I once asked her why she chose him, when she could have had her pick of any man she wanted.

Her reply was instructive. "When am with him, he makes me feel like am the only woman in the world, that exists. Till today no other man has made me feel this way." They have been married for 11 years with three kids. I rest my case.

Yeah, the word is 'stingy.' Am sure you know what it means. And you are right I don't know your friend. But a clear look at the story you shared, shows that the lady did not deny him the keys to the car, because she was older than him, (at least you didn't say those were her initial remarks!), she did so, because she was stingy. And I didn't need to conduct any research, or plot any results into any chart. A simple observation of human behaviour, would make you arrive at the same conclusion. Its' funny though, to see you quoting my words back at me, because it shows you do not have such a large vocabulary, so you feel the need to borrow some of mine. Feel free, if it makes you happy. Would you like me to loan you my dictionary, so you can get more words & meanings?

Loan me a dictionary? This coming from a boy who cannot distinguish between "am" and "i'm" - let's not get into that.
A woman won't let you drive your own f.ucking car, because she is stingy? lololol, good lord, are you daft.
Isn't it "his" car, after all? they're supposed to be a couple fool, being stingy doesn't excuse the act.
A simple observation of human behavior would also reveal to you that older women are more likely to exploit younger guys than older men with younger girls.
What is so tangible about your vocabulary, ehn? numskull, I used your words as a way to disprove your buggy logic.
You were pulling statements out your ass, while @ the same time telling me to go conduct an in-depth research

Yeah, you can only share what you see in your own little world. It doesn't mean it does not happen elsewhere. A woman dating a younger man may be non-conventional in your eyes, but it doesn't mean it is wrong, bad or that such a relationship cannot work. And for your information, conventions DO change. In every society. So don't continue living in the past.

What little world? Are you implying that you're conversing with an alien?  You are a yeye simpleton, you couldn't think of a sound response abi?
We're not debating right or wrong here, we're talking about the issues that may arise as a result of the chosen scenario, don't be an idiot

If vulnerable is the way you choose to see it, then that's your own call. I see it as a lack of emotional maturity, and last time I checked, I had the right to my own views.

So do I, you don hear?

If a man has a strong sense of self-worth, a legit income, he fends for himself & his family, has a strong sense of self-esteem,doesn't depend on his wife for daily bread, treats all around him with respect and sincerity, I find it hard to see how a woman he married with his own money, would stand up to disrespect him simply because she is 'older'. Older, my foot. Why can't she take her old age back to her father's house? Why did she marry him in the first place & how come he did not see the signs that she would disrespect him on account of the age difference, before he married her?

What little world are you living in? lololol(sorry I had to borrow your vocabulary again, don't cry)
This happens, el grande.
Maybe she needs a boi toy.  Come to think of it, everything you listed above isn't usually the case with all men.  They're lacking in one or more of the categories, don't be deceived.

I have met several couples with older & younger wives. Age has very little to do with how a woman treats a man. I have seen younger women treat their husbands like trash, and vice versa, while I have also seen older women treat their husbands with respect, maturity, love & understanding.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen.
Even gan paapa, if the guy loves his woman as you stated, why chooseth he to come here and ask if dating a woman 3 years older than he is, is okay?
perhaps a little insecurity there, se you see it?

Ask those who gave answers as to why they wouldn't marry a shorter guy.

I don't need to ask, view the thread yourself, what I'm asking you to do is respond to the double-standard on dating/love.
The guy chooses to date a woman older than himself, you claim love conquers all, the chick claims she doesn't want a shortie, then what?
Why don't you go on there and start condemning them, let's leave that one.
Assuming you're 25 by the way, you shouldn't have any problems with handling a 47-year-old woman, I hope you fall in love with one.

3-years isn't that big a difference by the way, it ain't bad at all ya heard me, but age does matter, agree or not.
the greater the age difference between the two lovebirds, the greater the possibility of manipulation by one of the parties.

fekuti:

Loan me a dictionary? This coming from a boy who cannot distinguish between "am" and "i'm" - let's not get into that.
A woman won't let you drive your own f.ucking car, because she is stingy? lololol, good lord, are you daft.
Isn't it "his" car, after all? they're supposed to be a couple fool, being stingy doesn't excuse the act.

"Am" or "I'm," isn't the issue at stake here, unless you want to split hairs. Anyway, thanks for the grammar lesson. The woman is stingy, because she is trying to hoard the fuel she bought into the car, even though it is[i] his [/i] car. And the fact that your friend allowed her to get away with it, (especially since it is his own car), proves that he is emotionally immature. Period. No one is "excusing" the act. Kindly read my previous post again. And there is no need to resort to name-calling. Using words like 'daft', 'fool' etc. merely reveals the low-grade mentality of the speaker or writer, if you prefer.

fekuti:

A simple observation of human behavior would also reveal to you that older women are more likely to exploit younger guys than older men with younger girls.

Why are you so hung up on this[b] age [/b] thing? Exploitation and manipulation are character traits, that occur in people irrespective of their age or gender. You claim "older women are more likely to exploit younger guys than older men with younger girls." That is not strictly true. Only gullible and/or greedy people are exploited. Being gullible, is a mind-set. Exploitation also has to do with who holds power over the other. If a man is a good provider for the family who doesn't depend on the wife for residency or daily bread, he holds the power, irrespective of wether his wife is older or not!

fekuti:

What is so tangible about your vocabulary, ehn? numskull, I used your words as a way to disprove your buggy logic.
You were pulling statements out your ass, while @ the same time telling me to go conduct an in-depth researchWhat little world? Are you implying that you're conversing with an alien?  You are a yeye simpleton, you couldn't think of a sound response abi?
We're not debating right or wrong here, we're talking about the issues that may arise as a result of the chosen scenario, don't be an idiot
So do I, you don hear?
What little world are you living in? lololol(sorry I had to borrow your vocabulary again, don't cry)
This happens, el grande.

Again you feel the need to delve into the realm of insults to make a point. How sad. Your choice of words like 'numskull, simpleton, idiot etc.' says a lot about the kind of person you are and the quality of thoughts you have stored up in your mind, if this is all that can come out of it. Shame!

If there was nothing tangible about my vocabulary, you wouldn't have borrowed it. I'm not complaining, so stop sweating!

fekuti:

Even gan paapa, if the guy loves his woman as you stated, why chooseth he to come here and ask if dating a woman 3 years older than he is, is okay?
perhaps a little insecurity there, se you see it?
I don't need to ask, view the thread yourself, what I'm asking you to do is respond to the double-standard on dating/love.

Why don't you direct your questions to the person who made the original post? Why should I respond to a double-standard on dating or love, when I wasn't the one who made it an issue? There are different strokes for different folks. What may matter to one person, may not matter to the next. Simple. That was why I pasted the story of my tall neighbour, and her shorter husband.

fekuti:

The guy chooses to date a woman older than himself, you claim love conquers all, the chick claims she doesn't want a shortie, then what?
Why don't you go on there and start condemning them, let's leave that one.

Why should I condemn them? Is it my business who Mr. A chooses to fall in love with, or who Mrs. B chooses to marry? Don't they have eyes & brains? Am I the one going to live with them?

fekuti:

Assuming you're 25 by the way, you shouldn't have any problems with handling a 47-year-old woman, I hope you fall in love with one.

3-years isn't that big a difference by the way, it ain't bad at all ya heard me, but age does matter, agree or not.
the greater the age difference between the two lovebirds, the greater the possibility of manipulation by one of the parties.

Point of correction, I'm not 25. I don't know what gave you the idea. So kindly stick to the facts. Who I choose to marry, will be my business and mine alone. And as for manipulation, go and conduct some more research into this area. It has very little to do with age, and more to do with attitude, power play and frame of mind. Go figure!

[quote][/quote]  Hello my dear age is just a number and what you should care about is love.

---

@ kingss

Age is NOT just a number. That is just a reckless proverb with no depth to it, because whether you like it or not age has a strong impact on our everday activities, especially the LAW. You try having an intimate relationship with a 14 year old girl and you'll know better!!!

@ omidav
Your concern about the age difference between you and your boyfriend is normal. It is always expected that the man should be older than the woman espeacially in our culture. However, this is only an IDEAL. It is not written in stone anywhere that it should be so, not even in the Bible!

The only reason most men are older is that it helps the woman in her role of submission to the man and the man as the head.

This is my advice:
      - Be sure that the 3 year-gap will not stop you from respecting him as your husband
      - Be sure that he is as mature as you are -mentally, emotionally, financially, etc, because women tend to mature faster
        than men their own age and this gap tends to widen even more when the man is younger
      - Be sure that he is ready for marriage.
      - Be sure that any insecurities you may have because of the age gap are dealt with before you marry
     
If you can address the above issues and similar advice given by others on this forum, then you will be fine. But if it bothers you that much then it's probably best to reconsider and wait for an older man.

It is not a good idea to hide your age from his family because they will eventually find out one day and it will create problems for both of you then. Perhaps you could inform just his immediate family and reassure them that you are both okay with it and that it will not stop you from being a good wife to him.

All the best!!!

What has age got to do with anything? In my own opinion 3 years is nothing

@Topic
Forget about the age, focus on his goodness. If that brother is good to you, then his man enough to be your man !!!

"Am" or "I'm," isn't the issue at stake here, unless you want to split hairs. Anyway, thanks for the grammar lesson.

Good, I'm glad you now realize this, you offered to loan me a dictionary, hence the kind words.

The woman is stingy, because she is trying to hoard the fuel she bought into the car, even though it is his car. And the fact that your friend allowed her to get away with it, (especially since it is his own car), proves that he is emotionally immature.

you see the fatal flaw in how you tried to connect your concepts?
allowing a woman to get away with keeping your car keys = emotional immaturity? hmm, needst I say more?
What would you suggest as a reaction to the action? beat up on her? begin a war of words with her? what? emotional immaturity my pubic hair.

Period. No one is "excusing" the act. Kindly read my previous post again. And there is no need to resort to name-calling. Using words like 'daft', 'fool' etc. merely reveals the low-grade mentality of the speaker or writer, if you prefer.

Bragging about how large one's vocab-empire is, isn't a revelation of the "low-grade mentality of the writer"

Why are you so hung up on this age thing? Exploitation and manipulation are character traits, that occur in people irrespective of their age or gender. You claim "older women are more likely to exploit younger guys than older men with younger girls." That is not strictly true.

Yes it is.

Only gullible and/or greedy people are exploited.

Hahahah, now that's not true.

Being gullible, is a mind-set.

And this is not true as well

Exploitation also has to do with who holds power over the other. If a man is a good provider for the family who doesn't depend on the wife for residency or daily bread, he holds the power, irrespective of wether his wife is older or not!

Oh money is the only thing that gives a man authority/power over a woman if I hear you correctly?
Let's assume now that the woman is as wealthy, or wealthier than the man, add onto that her age-factor, do you think she'd let the man be "in control"
it certainly doesn't happen in most of these western countries, especially now that we have feminists running the show.

Again you feel the need to delve into the realm of insults to make a point. How sad. Your choice of words like 'numskull, simpleton, idiot etc.' says a lot about the kind of person you are and the quality of thoughts you have stored up in your mind, if this is all that can come out of it. Shame!

Ke s'ogbo, you started it.
If you want to discuss this topic topic we're on with factual backing, come with it, I don't mind, otherwise we can continue this chattering with generalizations.

If there was nothing tangible about my vocabulary, you wouldn't have borrowed it. I'm not complaining, so stop sweating!

I ain't sweating, and you did complain, you brought up the issue about your oh so big vocabulary, now you claim i'm sweating? hmm.

Why don't you direct your questions to the person who made the original post? Why should I respond to a double-standard on dating or love, when I wasn't the one who made it an issue?

Oh so the OP made it an issue, EXACTLY! because it is an issue, he's concerned about the girl's age, does that ring a bell.
Since you're here defending love over age-consciousness, you shouldn't mind defending love over height-consciousness.

There are different strokes for different folks. What may matter to one person, may not matter to the next. Simple. That was why I pasted the story of my tall neighbour, and her shorter husband.

That was a very touching story by the way.

Why should I condemn them? Is it my business who the Mr. A chooses to fall in love with, or who Mrs. B chooses to marry? Don't they have eyes & brains? Am I the one going to live with them?

You're here condemning me for claiming age matters. Apparently my cup of tea is your business, but their cup of tea, isn't? sorry Dad.

Point of correction, I'm not 25. I don't know what gave you the idea. So kindly stick to the facts. Who I choose to marry, will be my business and mine alone. And as for manipulation, go and conduct some more research into this area. It has very little to do with age, and more to do with attitude, power play and frame of mind. Go figure!

I partially agree with you, but how many people do you think have/want the frame of mind of being dominated? It's usually not a choice. many people just succumb to it.  Love can do that to you lolol, se you know, you love your woman so much that your love for her over-shadows the way she maltreats you.

Laudate, I'll give you one thing, minute age difference doesn't matter, but when you start speaking of a gap over 8 years, etc, better check yourself.
I suggest you read what Lady TI posted above, true talk.

look dear its ok to be in love but hw abt 10yrs from now, i hope he doesnt end up rubbing it in ur face

see,dnt let me deceive u my guy.Im into d same system.Even she took 4 good years to senior me. but wat i think matters most is wat u have said dat u both love each other.With love all things are possible, GO ON SOUN omo iya

@Poster
Thank God for him
Respect him as much as u can because he has taken a wide range of burden out of your life.

Dont mind your parents in this matter

****U pips r not speaking d real facts here ooooo, dis na 9ja no bii US or UK ooo*******

Someone should please answer this question[b] ^{including the poster}[/b]



WHEN SHE ^UCLOCK 30 AND HE'S STILL 27, AINT SHE^U GONNA CELEBRATE HER^UR B.DAY IN A GRAND STYLE?

HAVING IN MIND THT UR FAMILY WILL WANT U TO DO B.DAY

my answer oooooo*****************na den wind go blow and fowl yash go show

a lot of nigerian men I know "tricked" their older (by a year or two) wives to marry them , I wouldn't worry if I were u!

doesnt matter (Age aint but a number)
wat matters is that u re mercilessly in love and ruthlessly happy u wnt let anyone come between u.
goodluck

what of d guyz "EGO".Is the guy ok wiv the age difference?

age ain't but a number abi?
keep deceiving yourselves.

if age ain't but a number why don't you go marry a 75 year old man/ woman while y'all at it.

you are very funny!! you say you have a problem when you really don't have any. please mend the way you cause your self ill luck in life. go and marry this guy!! abeg!! i am begging on his behalf. and live happily ever after.


cheers.

i advise u go ahead and get married provided u r ready to submit to him!!!!

I'll be brutally frank here. If y'all live in Nigeria, you're bound to meet a lot of resistance from both families, because the general beleif is that younger guys aren't mature enough, which generally speaking is probably true. But there are exceptions to every rule.


I once dated a woman who was 4 years older than I was. I'll say here and now, that it was far and away the most stable relationship I have had to date. There was much more tolerance and understanding than I had gotten previously. I see absolutely nothing wrong with dating/marrying a younger man.

Banderas:

I'll be brutally frank here. If y'all live in Nigeria, you're bound to meet a lot of resistance from both families, because the general beleif is that younger guys aren't mature enough, which generally speaking is probably true. But there are exceptions to every rule.


I once dated a woman who was 4 years older than I was. I'll say here and now, that it was far and away the most stable relationship I have had to date. There was much more tolerance and understanding than I had gotten previously. I see absolutely nothing wrong with dating/marrying a younger man.

agree absolutely.

"A woman is never bigger than a man" afterall a woman is created with just one rib from a man. Age diff may not be a prob atimes.
In some cultures it is a tradition that when a king dies the successor takes over the wives. Atimes the successor may be the prince, he goes on to inherit the wives who may be older than him.Though this is absurd any way.
Simply put its not a taboo many people have married in that circumstance and heaven did not fall. Go ahead if u love urselves.

If you no dey comfortable about the difference then make you pull out; Adam old pass Eve. But if you no mind, carry waka

Oro Gojigo:

If you no dey comfortable about the difference then make you pull out; Adam old pass Eve. But if you no mind, carry waka

advising or wat? na wa 4 u o.
if u b judge,na evrybodi wey come ur court u go sentence to life imprisonment includin a petty thief

if d luv is dere no matter cus age is jst a numba ok,jst hav d luv and d respect is ok

Hi, to me age is just a number. age doesn't matter. So far u love him and he loves you back, My dear please follow your heart, at least your own is not the first, Whitney Houston is 2 years older than bobby brown and they got married.
follow you heart my dear. I wish u best of luck.

dat guy or man dat u senior wit 3 year can be more mature  in mind den sumbdy who senior u wit 5 years,so age is jst a figure which white pple tech in school n market while luv is rite 4rom beginin ok

Age is mere number, what is age, age is not a factor, Most men be older than their wives, its this african way of thinking that we have, My wife can be 10 years older than I am, i dont care once we find true love,

Age is mere number, what is age, age is not a factor, Most men be older than their wives, its this african way of thinking that we have, My wife can be 10 years older than I am, i dont care once we find true love,

though mine is 2years. m 2 years older than my boo, we dont see that as an obstacle to our relationship and as a matter of fact, we r getting married very soon. when u see the two of us together you will never know that he's younger, in fact, you will think he's older than me with 3 years.

thought there are some challeges we are facing presently but we didnt let us weigh us down, we look towards our future, our strength more than our weaknesses,

gurl friend, dont "carry" the age thing on ur head, dance to the rythm of ur relationship instead worrying ur pretty head about "age". its just a number you know!