Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? - Romance (3) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? (7781 Views)
If You Propose And She Says 'No', Is The Relationship Over? / Is It Wrong To Have Sex After Taking Holy Communion In Church Today? / She Says I Am A Devil But Was I Wrong To Do It To Her? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 9:33pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
Hamid O: |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 9:35pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
Hamid O: e b like say u yarn correct o, still got to trust my instincts, thot i was just being too tough, laughs |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by xandy84: 9:42pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
You did the right thing man, some relationship are not meant to work out, most especially relationship to you date a lady and her mother together (mother getting involved in every little details of there daughter relationship), You are delivered already, just move on with you life |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Ivynwa(f): 9:43pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
Ivynwa nods at Chika98 and says Yeah girl, seems things moved too fast but nobody is blaming anybody cause love gets us all tingly and unreasonable most times. @Poster Me thinks you two need to give each other more patience, more understanding of each other may create a more peaceful bond that can help you two relate better. Nobody is perfect, as you gets to know more and more of your partner as each passing day unfolds her to you, it is left for you to know whether you can bear with her here and there and be able to spend forever cosed up with her. You seem to be giving up too quickly. Again should you two finally make back up and begin to agree, that part that involves her momsie should be modified or she will keep manipulating her. She needs to know that she needs to back off and let you guys be what you are: Adults! Come to think of it you mentioned not wanting to settle yet but is doing that cause you love her and want to make her happy. Marriage is too a big deal for a man to go into just to make a woman happy, it suppose to be what YOU really want to do or you may be whining, sulking and singing her that particular line that "I made a mistake and is here because of you now see what I am getting"  Take your time man, we ladies naturally long much to settle down partly because of the complicated hormones nature gave us that gives us great yearnings like baby fever, the lovey-dovey feeling, the mother-hen feeling of wanting to love,care for our family and spouse etc but that is no reason for you to get all gentlemanly and want to settle when you are not ready. I want to see this sister settled and happy with her heart's desires though but we are all better off happy in marriage than frustrated and wishing for the good old single life. She is also better off with a man like you that loves her but loves her to the point of wanting very much to make her his wife because he wants to not because she wants to. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by jerk: 9:45pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
love my foot!!!!!!!!!!!!!as long as I'm concerned,there re things i can not do just in the name of LOVE[1]bring down my reputation [2]being blindfolded by the so called love.my dear,i advice u come home cuz the devil u know is far better than the angel u don't know.accept my sympathy. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by persist: 10:34pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
 I don't think it was wrong stopping the relationship in fact you did the right thing but Mr poster correct me if I am wrong you had a motive of living off her in the first place and also saw it as an oppurtunity to stay back in the UK as your visa was running out because why on earth will you marry on a relationship of 1 month plus and forgive the lady so much. Just believe I know you can do make a better life in nigeria. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by helovesme(f): 10:43pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
persist: YOU HAVE SAID IT ALL. He is with her because he wanted to get his stay in the UK. And the girl knows it. Reason why she is treating him like a puppet. How else can one explain all the shit the poster took from her in the name of ''LOVE'' Love ko, Lion ni, |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 11:56pm On Jan 07, 2011 |
persist: Persist,plainly looking at it from that point,you are correct but in this case,there is absolutely no reason,not an inch to suggest such. Notice i replied one of the members we met on facebook,at that point i dint even know she works.What we were talking about was life in Nigeria cuz she asked of my plans and i made it clear.She even said something like the money people in Nigeria spends can only be imagined by nigerians in uk.She went further by saying she will relocate anyday if she is lucky to have a hubby with a good job which she knows i am capable of.That gave me an indication we were on the same page.TRUST ME.JEHOVAH IS MY WITNESS. When we were goin for lunch,i asked if she drives cus i'll luv my woman to drive herself wen i am away n she needs d car,she smiled and said she has got a 10yr old golf(that is not an indication of someone u can live on).My own car is a Mazda6 03 reg.It was at Nandos when i wanted to pay she brought out some points card and i saw medical whatever on it,i asked where she got it from and she said she is a doctor. Also,i have my own 1bed flat,she lives with her uncle for woteva reason known to her.Although my discipline is International finance,the drug & alcohol abuse agency i work with pays well.I work self employed so all the money goes to my business account.If we go to 100shops in a day(just an example),its my card i swipe.No reason to live off her.Her mum n dad lives in a council flat separately and they depend on her especially d mother so nothing exceptionally impressive. It was just a case of ''who knows whether she might be the right girl considering her age''.I thot maturity would help.im 32 for chrissake,she is 32,if a woman wants u,its only appropriate to give it a trial.All along,i still stuck of my relocation plans,they were the ones persuading me.TRUST ME. She knew bout my visa even before we met cuz i made sure i told her the very first time we spoke on fone.I told her of my plans too on fone ever before we met as i said earlier. What i can conclude from your argument is maybe she got it all wrong.Maybe she felt i wasnt really serious about my plans but why wont i anyway? This is my career,my future,i am guaranteed to get to the peak in Nigeria.No controversy so wots dere to live on in her life?.U need to see my earlier post to know my qualifications.I dey very alrite. Where is the job in UK that i will kill myself here.I chose to relocate not because i am not able to change my category but because i just dont want to earn money,i want to practise my profession and progress with time.Im loosing some valuable work experience n wit time,i wont be able to fit in.With what i get ,i can easily get an accountant to do my documents and highly skilled visa is guaranteed but i cant stand the changing of there rules all the time.I am presently on a residence permit but its temporal not student. I have friends who come to jand 3 - 4 times in a year.They at-times fly to yankee wit naija passport from uk.There passport full with different visas.They are professionals like me.If i have my job at home,HR will get me intro letter plus my bank statement,any flipping embassy will open there door.I know what i want man.We do not need to deceive ourselves,i cant be bothered wit the P. This is simply a case of ''I thought she was gonna be good,we will be able to flow on d same level and stuff but i got it wrong''. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 12:05am On Jan 08, 2011 |
persist: It wasnt in 1month my dear friend. Engagement took 3months plus if u care to read my lines. Marriage was clocking 5months and i cancelled it myself. cuz i wanted everything sorted before we proceed. At the moment,our notice of intention to marry is still valid and it runs for a year.If i am so desperate (what for anyway),i will completely ignore her awkwardness and get along. I wanted marriage but not desperately.I was just simply being humble,trying not to give a sense of taking her for granted cus of her age.I love giving 2nd,third or even 4th chance on issues cuz nobody is perfect. People meet (alot infact) and get married within 3months without any problem.They even go on to live happily ever after so its not a strange thing abeg. Why not ask the reason God brought us together when he knew i had made up my mind to go back and she wants to settle down ASAP? Things happen for a reason.I just thought maybe God wants us to meet n marry before i go back to save me the stress at home.Seriously |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 12:21am On Jan 08, 2011 |
helovesme: hahahahahahahahahhaha. For crying out loud,this is so simple and straightforward,if i want the permanent permit which i know is possible through her,y quit?I can as well allow her slap me 1000times a day sef. mshew,stay ko,go ni Na stay go put money for my account abi na stay go fly me go miami where boys at home go without thinking twice, All na dulling jo,i fit into my country's economy so no point dulling myself about gttn some paper, pple wey get paper sef dey run go house, lol You really need to ask me that question a million times but my answer will be ''I do not know''. Maybe thats a weakness, i dont just go into relationships but when i do,i rarely see anything like something that has never happened.I try my best to give alot of chance for corrections.Thats my nature but when it gets to a point,i revolt without looking back and that is what i have just done. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by tundenaija: 1:01am On Jan 08, 2011 |
how can you propose 3 weeks after you met a girl na wah for you oh, anyway it works for some people but you cant just , |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Chinujum: 1:09am On Jan 08, 2011 |
@dremoney i think u ve made the right decision and please dont look back. Shes yet to let go of mothers apron strings at age 32 and live in peace with her (ex)fiance I admire ur focus and direction in life. All the best in future endevours |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 1:44am On Jan 08, 2011 |
tundenaija: lol, na serious wah for me i accept but Tunde, there are people you meet and it feels like you've known for ages. That was the case here brov  |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Nobody: 1:45am On Jan 08, 2011 |
Dremoney babes, PLEASE paraphrase! Thank you in advance o! |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Jenifa1: 1:58am On Jan 08, 2011 |
nvm just read all your posts. goodluck!!! You guys are maybe meant to be just friends. no marriage. but if she's a doctor why is she stuck up on money and living with relatives? is she paying off med school loans or what? |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Dsense(m): 2:01am On Jan 08, 2011 |
Op. The Plasma TV . . .The funny part |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 2:36am On Jan 08, 2011 |
@ MzD@rkSkin paraphrase wot exactly? u r so funny  |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by dremoney(m): 2:44am On Jan 08, 2011 |
@ Jenifer dunno wot is wrong with admin,they wont let me insert quote again o. Bout living with her uncle. She actually pays £360 pm bills inclusive cuz d bros has been jobless n mortgage bill no stop  However,that was one of the reasons i proposed earlier than normal cuz i thot to myself,if dis girl can live with a relative,then she is not restless and kindda homely. I remember giving that as one of my reasons for proposing early when having a discussion with the uncle's wife before she advised me to go for my course. Unfortunately,i was fooling myself cuz koni meaning |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by OlokoNla1(m): 5:14am On Jan 08, 2011 |
Sounds like the rant of a complete idiot, your ps3, your plasma, your masters, your visa was/is running out, she jumped into your bed d next minute, you watched a movie on your laptop, you were engaged 3weeks after ( what an idiot), her mother did not like you, she liked you, she stopped liking you, her father has a new wife, we met @ an eatery, she wanted me to pay the bills, she is looking for a clean guy yada yada yada This rant sounds like some very extended scene from a Nigerian home video. its either you are a joke or the moderator @ nairaland just has a silly knack of churning up silly takes and seeking the most idiotic of responses from us hiss!! |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by roymary: 5:18am On Jan 08, 2011 |
^^^^ You dey vess o |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by OlokoNla1(m): 5:35am On Jan 08, 2011 |
@ roymary, why i no go vess eh? which kin rubbish d guy dey talk? relationship don = to ps3,plasma,visa,houserent, d guy is not a serious someborry! |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by roymary: 5:37am On Jan 08, 2011 |
Oloko Nla: LOL |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by donkennyakademy(m): 8:04am On Jan 08, 2011 |
dat girl is not d right person 4 u. She could have been if only her mother is not there. Advise on young growing adult don't let ur parents spoil ur future in terms of making ur future patner decision. On dis passage d both were coming up very well untill dis girl start listening 2 her mum advise. NB: she could have been d cos of their marriage divorce. My brother u really did best on dat do pray and look unto God to give u ur own wife. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by udohjaphet: 8:36am On Jan 08, 2011 |
note it's not much good to marry a girl that her mother is no longer staying with the father unless ur prepared that 4 some time she will also divorce . Like mother Like daughter.unless God intervention. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Jenifa1: 9:50am On Jan 08, 2011 |
dremoney: wow. thanks for clarifying. If she can do that (supporting her family by helping to pay mortgage and bills) then i'm sure she has a good head over her shoulders. we can't really hear her part of the story can we. otherwise, I am curious as to what she will have to say. but the whole proposal and marriage thing went too fast. that's where I fault her if it is true that she was the one who was desperate to get married. she shouldn't have rushed into it. I don't think she is a bad person based on what you have said. i think you guys rushed things too fast rather than taking things at a slower pace.
wow. you both are something else. she is at fault for showing up late and you are at fault for trying to leave when she got there kai. you both are NOT ready for marriage at all. did you decide to leave out of anger/ trying to seek revenge? or where were you rushing to? why would you leave your "wife to be" at the register and expect her not to cause a scene. If i were in her shoes, i wouldn't cause a scene but I wouldn't sign anything at the register either because that's not a good sign for how the marriage will turn out. that day must have been embarrassing for both of you. but i guess the lady in question was desperate to get married. why couldn't you both even go together? she said she can't be bothered with you again? so who broke up with who? who's ending the relationship? what was her reaction when you canceled the wedding? overall, to me. I think she was too desperate to get married and she was settling for you. You are not her ideal choice but she had no other option. put on that family pressure from her mom. I will suggest you get over her (I'm not even sure if you were into her in the first place) and move on. find a woman who is not a professional because her expectation will always be high. Or better still, wait until you yourself have become a professional/ financially stable before getting married. you rushed the whole thing i must say. Definitely go home!!! find someone else. I don't think she will forgive you for quiting her job if she moves back with you to naija. Her expectation will swell even higher because she has quit her career for you. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Jenifa1: 9:51am On Jan 08, 2011 |
sorry for the long essay. well, it just shows that i'm taking your problem seriously. and that i have a lot of time on my hands  |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Nobody: 10:51am On Jan 08, 2011 |
@ poster I know . . . . . You are in that much hurry to marry her because you need your papers (why else will she be the one to dictate when you guys want to get married) . . she wants to marry you cos she wants to be a 'MRS'. . . things will go better if you guys left the love out of it, cos love doesn't work that way. My advice to you, you know what you want from her, try and exercise some patience and get it . . . If you can't then you were right in letting her go. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Nobody: 11:03am On Jan 08, 2011 |
reading through your 1st post alone,one would think the relationship was just about ur plasma n getting your papers, but with your recent posts i'd say u need not ask if u did the right thing cos you did, there's no point blaming you cos you are an adult too n u already know where u went wrong, you deserve beta,focus on ur career n take your time next time, AGe is just a number,its no maturity neida doesit depict good xter |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by regbaby(f): 2:38pm On Jan 08, 2011 |
you did d right thing. I will also advice that you take things nice and slow in future. A Lifetime relationship like marriage should not be rushed. U go see beta chics |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by Limaoscar: 7:02pm On Jan 08, 2011 |
E be like say you like plasma small A lot of vanities on the thread, my house, my plasma, my this and that. No prayers, no counselling, no taking time to really iron issues together without running to Inlaws or properly getting to know each other and tolerating each other etc, I think they need to really stop and think about what marriage is. From His story, I can see He's made some of concession but madam is not ready to concede a lot. Depends on where she's coming from, may be she's been cheated out of a relationship before. Bottom-line don't just break it now you two need to see a marriage counsellor. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by sleekman(m): 8:05pm On Jan 08, 2011 |
This is a simple case. Both parties were selfish. Man- Wanted his papers Woman-Wanted a Aristo/Mugu/Mumu/Vegetable. Perhaps if u guys had stated it as a contract, it mightn't had been so. So choose one my friend. Do you want to sell your soul or have your dignity intact? My advice to you Mr. is go back home and re-strategize. All you need is N3-10m depending on how u bring your head down. Besides you can get a better educated, better behaved lady back home. A lady that you can trace her roots and probably do a background check before plunging in for a life sentence or a life of bliss. Perhaps one that will support you blindly without asking. Maybe I should ask you the most important question. Do you know God? Are you considered cursed or blessed by God. God says only his people are free from all the curses in Deuteronomy. Pray and ask God for directions and he'll show you what to do. |
| Re: Am I Wrong To Stop The Relationship? by kamikazee0(m): 9:20pm On Jan 08, 2011 |
Heloo oo bro, u suppose chop cane. Nobody needs to tell you she was the very wrongest. E be like say u too chop burger for oyinbo land wey come dey make u slow. |
Women Do Not Respect Men. / My Flatmate Brings Random Guys To Our Shared Apartment / Bill Gates Daughter, 23, Is Engaged To Egyptian Showjumper Boyfriend(videos)
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 84 |