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I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed - Romance (12) - Nairaland

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Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Fafesot: 5:10pm On May 12, 2020
summerflame:


someone needs to school you nigga. Not all positives contacted it through sex sir.. be civil for once and think like a normal human being

I didn't want to give any response initially but let me enlighten you a little.This is not a matter of not being normal but you not being logical .
Accepted that not every positives contracted through sex but ,how many people have you seen that contracted it through any other means.
I don't see any reason why you should jettison the obvious and go for the minute.Would you date anyone with the virus,I'm sure you wouldn't.
And next time,learn how to politely respond to stuffs without any intention to demean the other person.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by fullblast(m): 5:25pm On May 12, 2020
midehill:


U just revealed ha secret now bro
Yes I did... Her names, physical description, career, location and pictures are all displayed here in your over-sabi mind. cool
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by mindyourword: 5:31pm On May 12, 2020
This is never an issue in as much you have decided to thread this path. She can breast feed with her been HIV positive. The breastfeeding option is now available due to stigmatization of not breastfeeding in the past. There are different thematics areas. HIV counseling and testing (HCT) is the entry point but you can go for PMTCT (Prevention of mother to child transmissions) asked your spouse about this, she will know better. This will increase the percentage of having a child that is HIV negative to 98%., Even without this the percentage of the baby not having HIV is 60%. You can be rest assured of not contracting it too if you adhered to the instructions of PMTCT strictly. Choice is yours, disclosing her status will not help your marriage and as a matter of fact is not beneficial to your family members in anyway. But please incase you want to disclose her status to your family members, seek her consent because if you do this without her consenting to it, she is free to seek for redress in the court of law, there are laws in place for this already. Lastly do not marry out of pity because pity doesn't keep a home but love, determination and discipline do.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:35pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.
I wish she would sacrifice for you as much if the case were reversed!!

Men and Niceness.. undecided
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by midehill(m): 5:38pm On May 12, 2020
fullblast:
Yes I did... Her names, physical description, career, location and pictures are all displayed here in your over-sabi mind. cool

Op.. Ur name says it all..mke i run b4 u gimme fullblast cheesy
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:41pm On May 12, 2020
Eulalia:
You'll soon know what you're doing to yourself. That lust that is making you not to reason well will soon disappear and then reality will strike you.. Continue.
grin grin cheesy

1 Like

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:42pm On May 12, 2020
stinflame:


Silly remark, do you think she brought this affliction upon herself. Some off us are just been lucky while she wasn't. It might be of surprise she have a very low body count compared to some negative people...

Before casting people, try and wear their shoes. And always remember if u scale it ,will ur children do,will ur grand kids do... Nah just prayer.
Low body count?? Like Red cell count??
Abegi! undecided
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:46pm On May 12, 2020
grossintel:
Your posts are rigged of Hypocrisy, you preach God and Love but spite another for loving a human being unconditionally. Isn't that what christ preaches? He's trying to make it right by settling down with her and seeking advice but you advise against it, because she's HIV+ and should be casted into hell. This is why the judgement of God will begin from the church, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Men and 'overniceness'!!!
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Matam(f): 5:47pm On May 12, 2020
My neighbour is HIV positive, married with 4 children, breastfeeds them till 6months when they start having teeth then stops breastfeeding. Seek medical counsel
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:48pm On May 12, 2020
Hermionegranger:
I really admire how open minded you are concerning this issue. Your girlfriend is blessed to have a good man like you and because of this, she'll never intentionally do anything to jeopardize your relationship if you decide to marry her. You shouldn't disclose her status to anyone. This must be a secret between yourselves.If they ask why she isn't breastfeeding , tell them she has Hepatitis and that the doctor advised against it.
Good man shocked
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:51pm On May 12, 2020
Realtizzy:
Love dey o
Lust
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:52pm On May 12, 2020
vince96w2:
wife's mother comes for omugo...its a choice to breast feed or not.Any ear on his family's part,he won't marry her I bet u.

It’s choice to breat feed?? Then I don’t know about African mothers at all.... u will just say it’s ur choice...u want to release Armageddon.
Moreover it medically advisable and not just an African thing to breastfeed a new born... you will now tell which canopy a new mother want to hide under
Btw... if they are Yoruba, it’s the husband’s mother that come for omugo, if the guy can afford it and amuave enough space both grandmothers can come at the same time....

Well, as regards marrying her, we might never know... but why would a guy risk skin-diving with a HIV positive lady if it’s just about sex, there are plenty of women he can do that with....
I suspect the guy is a doctor shaaa, they are the only ones that can see an HIV positive person normally
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:52pm On May 12, 2020
INDUSTRIALFAN:
this is how people go about spreading what people do not want. She was kind enough to tell you her status, you lived her non the less which is commendable. Now she is pregnant and your mind is shaking. You better not break up with her o. You better marry her because you are not scared of the virus and are okay with it. It is not a death sentence. I am speaking this way because if you break up with her, you will definitely want to date someone else. Someone who may not want HIV and you will not.... I repeat.... You will not tell them of your past except you are as truthful and kind as that beautiful woman. You have entered you have entered... Suck it up and own your child. Go and do the right thing man.
Men and overniceness! undecided
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:53pm On May 12, 2020
oshorstan:
I respect your courage. I do admire what you did for Love.
for lust!
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by bev12: 5:54pm On May 12, 2020
My dear you better stop playing with ur health all in the name of love.

You should be smart and use your head.
Thank goodness you are negative now...what about tomorrow will u still be negative?

The error has been made and she is prgenate.
I suggest u start making the right choices and start taking care of yourself first before any other thing because If you don't, nobody will not even her.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:55pm On May 12, 2020
Tolani0167:
You’re a real man
A manipulative definition of a 'real man' undecided
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by chaloskyx: 5:56pm On May 12, 2020
you dont need advise my brother you have been advising yourself since you met her, had unprotected sex with her, and got her pregnant so keep advising yourself in marrying her and raising your family together. or wait do you want to leave her if you are convinced to see reason not to marry her?? you better not try it
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:58pm On May 12, 2020
JUICYPINEAPPLE:


Really!!!

The only point I was able to get was your sense of SELF RIGHTOUSNESS. Is God no more the FORGIVING, the MERCIFUL?!!!

Since the deed has been done what your own advice?!!! Your SELFRIGHTEOUSNESS
has none to give even when a INNOCENT UNBORN child is now at stake.

Men and overniceness shocked shocked shocked
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Scamperlee(m): 5:59pm On May 12, 2020
Egungun be careful na express you dey go. . .
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 6:01pm On May 12, 2020
Wiifesnatcher:
this Op is a product of Zeeworld. someone told you about her HIV status and you're assuming nonsense because something is low



you love her right? but did you know her past? what led her to that status? sometimes you need not to be foolish to prove that you love someone
It is not love... It is a classical lust!!

Men and overniceness!!

Let's reverse the case and see if the lady would be a 'real woman' too!!! undecided
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Palehair: 6:03pm On May 12, 2020
I've read most of the comments and it's completely obvious that y'all are kept in the dark about this virus and I'm not sure about what the OP meant by she can't breastfeed as long as she's +. As long as she sticks to her meds, she's good to go, she can do whatever a normal human being can do which also includes the breastfeeding.
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 6:03pm On May 12, 2020
fullblast:
True love is beautiful.

A neighborhood female friend of mine who confided in me of her Hiv status experienced same unconditional love.
Her husband who was negative before he married her is now positive but they are now blessed with two healthy and negative sons.
I'm not trying to scare you but learn from you. You mentioned something so spectacular, your woman's viral load is strictly kept low. Is That the key that sustains your negative status? How true?

My Advice: Never disclose her status to anyone unless the individual is tested and trusted. Somethings should remain confidential. This is No 1. My female friend revealed her status to me because she's knows how I'm wired. I can never divulge anyone's secret even if you are my enemy. Anybody may fall victim of Hiv or any ASSUMED deadly disease.
If I can't sympathize or empathize, I don't need to spread the news to the public. STIGMATIZATION is satanic.

Stigmatization of mentally ill and Epilepsy female is satanic too!!
You can go and fall in love with them!!

Men and overniceness!!!

Kindly reverse the case and see if any lady would be ready to go through such journey with you!!!
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Palehair: 6:04pm On May 12, 2020
Wiifesnatcher:
this Op is a product of Zeeworld. someone told you about her HIV status and you're assuming nonsense because something is low



you love her right? but did you know her past? what led her to that status? sometimes you need not to be foolish to prove that you love someone
So because someone has HIV, it means the person is promiscuous. Another stupid assumption
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 6:05pm On May 12, 2020
Reform9ja:
wow

U truly love her

I just pray you guys don't break up, because na da time ur eye go come open
Lust
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 6:06pm On May 12, 2020
andyanders:



Don't be surprised that u might die b4 both of them and they end up reading and superving ur burial program.
old fashioned tactics undecided
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 6:10pm On May 12, 2020
musachara:
I logged in my account just to tell you 1 thing. I AM PROUD OF YOU, you are a real man. My advice to you is to follow your heart. Nobody has to know her HIV status, it can remain between the 2 of you. God be with you
A manipulative definition of a 'real man' undecided

Let's reverse the case, if the lady would be 'a real woman' too!!

Men and overniceness undecided
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by neenap25(f): 6:10pm On May 12, 2020
I salute your courage bro, is not everyone that will do this.

Please don't reveal her status to your family members, they might not accept her the way you do. Don't be afraid, as long as her viral load is below 20 and she is consistent with her drugs you will not be infected.

I am a volunteer with an NGO and this is the kind of job I do (seeing to the welfare of HIV caregivers and households in the community). Also I want to let you know that she can confidently breastfeed her baby as long as she wants, without the baby been infected. The major area where the baby will be at risk of been infected is during delivery, that is why some HIV mothers do CS during delivery so the baby will not contact it. However, many people still deliver thru vj and 99% of their babies are negative as long as she keeps taking her drugs, she should let the hospital know so they will assist her. Their is also a syrup that will be given to her to give the baby for the first 6 weeks. If she follows everything religiously I but you, all your children will be negative. So do not be scared.

But once again DO NOT reveal her status to your family please, cause it might shatter everything before you. Also do the necessary things by paying her dowry so it can be legal. Thank you. If you feel you need more advice you can chat me up on 08066985838!

1 Like

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Pharaoh94(m): 6:10pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.


Call this number 08169233147.
And you will be helped.i work in Unicef. Don't worry u are safe. Just call it.

1 Like

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by kurlz(f): 6:19pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:


Mother will be around for Omugwo.

Don't ever make that mistake of telling anyone.

Just cook up a medical issue story and doctors advice. I've seen ladies that didn't breast feed their babies and heaven did not fall.

I love your spirit please stay with her.

She may not be able to handle heart break.

1 Like

Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 6:24pm On May 12, 2020
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by OChimex: 6:30pm On May 12, 2020
Crazeman03:


Thanks for the insult. The third I tested since we've been having sex was march and I'm still negative.

But guy, why waste your talent on bravery?

My goodness, if you had used this kind heart you get for drugs, 419, armed robbery, yahoo yahoo, or ritual, my goodness you would have been Dangote by now.

Kudos for this your heart without fear.... or are you just a monumental idiot?

Lol. I dey joke oo abeg
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by musachara: 6:37pm On May 12, 2020
eni4real:
A manipulative definition of a 'real man' undecided

Let's reverse the case, if the lady would be 'a real woman' too!!

Men and overniceness undecided
You really don't have to quote me while making your point especially when our views differ

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