Hello NL'ers, I wrote an article on this topic on my blog last year and actually felt like raising it up here for discussion. There is no denying it that in marriage,even courting relationships; there are moments or times when you don't find your wife (sometimes,its the other way round) attractive to you. It may that something abt her which used to draw her to u suddenly dissappears. The reasons are not peculiar actually. I want educative responses on this please.

marriage is for better for worse. Worse here could refer to when the laws of gravity has taken its toll on the tight babe you married years back. Truth is, you cannot expect a woman who has brestfed 3-4 babies to still be like she was when you met here. As a woman, i would agree that we at times dont help matters, just because you are married doesnt mean you should be relaxed about your appearance. Personally, i do more make up [s]cos it helps in concealing some of the old age[/s] now that i have kids than when i was a single lady so it would be hard for my husband to blame me in case he misbehaves outside !

@phate07, aint married as well but I counsel married ppl.
@iyatrustee, u have a fair point there. I quite agree wiv u,but aside make-ups (whc obviously doesn't last) are there other ways u as a woman stay attractive to ur husband?

Mcleo007:

@phate07, aint married as well but I counsel married ppl.
@iyatrustee, u have a fair point there. I quite agree wiv u,but aside make-ups (whc obviously doesn't last) are there other ways u as a woman stay attractive to your husband?

Physically,the most important thing is to keep that thing your husband saw that attracted him to you in the first place. In my case, i would say it is my trim body which is why i believe in wearing what is smart like jeans etc. just because you are married doesnt mean you have been sentenced to wearing wrapper alone. I also try to maintain my figure by exercising to maintain my shape (i notice some hitherto slim women become fat after childbirth)

Trim body. Hmmmmm! I'm glad u knw wat attracted ur hubby to u. With that knowledge u can always keep him to urself. Funny some women don't knw this.

If my husband become unattractive which I doubt it but if he do. I will still love my husband. I am in love with who he is not what he look like. What he look like is A GREAT BONUS. I don't think I will be going anywhere. They don't make men like him often. Hold on gotta pour him some more cheerios.

file for divorce

OP.
It's just a normal moment . .It happens in every relationships,But some people do handle it wrongly mostly,Cause they feel the beloved ones had just lost his/her talent or something he or she used to find so attractive in her/ him . . . . . . But It's just something we need to understand propperly . . .We shouldn't always expect things to be right all the time,It's well today and tomorrow might not be the same.All we got to do is to hold tight to the half part,gear and charge her/him up again and we ll definitely have things back on the track.

Marriage is about encouraging and been there for each other If you no longer find your wife attractive, there must be a reason. For example maybe she put on a bit of weight, she is not taking good care of herself anymore or she's not putting much effort into her appearance.

My father always used to say, "instead of looking at other women and wishing your wife was like them cus they have beautiful skin, hair, body or nice sense of fashion", ''Why don't you spend that time, and money on your wife to make her look that way too?" (very true)

So yea, if you believe your wife has put on some weight, encourage her to lose it (nicely) if she stop dressing the way she used to, suprise her, with beautiful clothing (she will get the hint) Or if she altogether stop taking care of her appearance, find out why she could be depressed. That do not call for a second wife or a divorce, because even men get unattractive at a period of time, that do not mean that we will drop your asses and go looking for another hot guy.

@Rokiatu, I so love ur analysis. That's terrific.
@190, hw do u mean o?

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