Liliantalks:
it’s a sad ordeal in Nigeria. Women r so adamant about marriage that they can swallow all sort of rubbish just to stay married , even the man talking knows what e wife Dey see for house! We hv a lot of marriages here but only 20% happy marriage. Thankfully nigerian women r becoming wiser tho . The African setting of marriage is very okay , but the abuse and maltreatment is too much , Especially for the lower class.

I can attest to that being more likely the case considering the Nigeria I grew up in.

The institution of Marriage has been put on a pedestal for all and sundry, but the quality of the marriage(for all those involved, not just the man) in question, is a whole 'nother issue that is many times brushed aside as irrelevant.

Ok

BotafogoJunior:
shior,you don advise yourself first.....yeye dey smell!!

humilitypays:
The op is writing jargons!! Complete nonsense!!



He should change the topic to:

My Bad Experience Dating Nigerian Women Living in America!!!


Most Nigerian guys living abroad are their own problem, they are the reason Nigerian ladies show them pepper once they land abroad.


These guys will never tell these ladies the truth of what they do and how much they earn.


They will be saving money for months or years and maybe after some years they gather the cash which is hard currency, change it when they land Nigeria and it becomes huge money in Naira and they start to spend it anyhow forming rich guys when they are just nobody in the US but because of exchange rate difference and good environment they stay to snap pictures and post online to deceive these Naija based ladies, these ladies assume them to be rich guys working with US President lol.


On arriving the US after they use money they don't even have much to entice and lure these ladies into marriage, these ladies discover that these guys are like the downtrodden people, the lowest of lowest in the US and you know women, they feel betrayed and start to harbor anger against these guys that brought them to the US and these guys will never tell people the truth of what happened, they will start telling people that the Nigerian girl they married and brought from Nigeria no longer respect them, how can she respect you when u lied to her from the beginning and used fake life and lies to lure her into marriage

A lot of truth here, thanks for bringing this often ignored perspective to light, guys also have their blame

One4me:


Homehow, Women like to paint a very 'one-sided picture' of marriage, that justify their attitude to break up the marriage, in the Western world!

How many Women in Africa will ask for divorce, because their husband did not cook food ready for them, whenthey just got back from work and he has been at home all day? Almost non (rightly or wrongly, is another debate)!
What this confirms is that the laws in the Western world encourages women to break up the home willy-nilly.

Again, hardly will you see a woman who will tie the knot in marriage, with a man who is jobless throughot their courtship (except for some of those "Rich Mamas" who just need a tomboy for exercises
What this shows is that almost all men are working before marriage, are hard working but something may happen along the way that makes them lose their job and they are still trying to get another. They are not "lazy men".

Again, in most cases, when a wife goes to work, it is to increase the income of the family though mostly it is to make her financially independent.
When a man works it is simply to provide for his family. Most women dont put their income from their owrk, 100% at the disposal of their family and husband, like men do when their wife is not working!
This is what causes conflict in most homes. Your (husband) Money is "our Money" but My (wife) money is "my Money".

Most Men who are out fo job, willuse the free time to take care of the Children, take them to and from School, cook for them,, exercise them and have dinner ready for the wife, when she comes back from work. That is the standard practice from most men, except where there is already a conflict on ground and the man deliberately decides not to help out (this is an aberration and he is doing it intentionally to fight back on a disagreement that is brewing but it is certainly not the norm).

Men generally are very helpful of their wives because Men are protective and see it as part of their duty in the family.
Women are not like that, they feel they are entitled to whatever the man does for them and usually dont show appreciation for it, afterall, its his duty!
As for the Chinese and Indian, l think trying to say they are pretending, is to try to undermine and rubbish a good trait of these people.
How long can anyone pretend in a marriage? Why can Chinese and Indian Women pretend (if that is the method to save their marriage) and Nigerian/Black Women cant also pretend, just to keep their home intact?
Are Black/Nigerian women better than these Chinese and Indian Women who on the average, earn three times more than the Nigerian/Black women (who are mostly Nurses and Care workers, compared to Indiand and Chinese women who are mostly into I.T and other top earning jobs)?

Thing is, pretense or not, these indian and Chinese women know the value of staying in marriage, they value their marriage more than the Child Support, lone Parent allowance and Alimony that drives the Nigerian/black woman, but most importantly, they know the long term eefect of breaking up their marriage, on their children and offsprings!
Go to any jail and compare the percentage of black people in jail, with that of Chinese and Indians and you will see that the Chinese and Indian women got more sense than just pretending for the sake of it!
They dont even have to pretend because in the Western world, they have equal access to the Courts that the Nigerian/Black women use, IF THEY WANT TO USE IT.

The end they say, justify the means, that is why the "black generation" will continue to be a servant to the "white generation", their Mothers are at the root of it.

Sensible write up

abeggnow:
first I would say you are not informed about Nigerian laws and courts . I have seen multiple times when women take thier husbands to court and won. I have seen women go to welfare in local government to report thier husbands for not taken care of the children and her and the husbands where arrested instantly and taken to court . Are you aware that in Nigeria if you marry in court you can take a second wife while married to you first wife. I think you educate your self more on this matter.

There's still some hidden info to this Sir.

Not as plane as you've said it sha.

Kobojunkie:

A life as an absentee father to your children is one you happily choose? And I guess your hope is that your children will never one day put two-and-two together to realize that money was just a mere excuse for your not being there during their growing years?

Anyway let stop here.You are just being a normal Nigeria.

hollywater:
Anyway let stop here.You are just being a normal Nigeria.

Sorry to disappoint you but the word NORMAL does not even begin to come close to defining me, let alone the term NORMAL NIGERIAN. Nah!!!

Kobojunkie:

Have you read some of the posts on here, what do you want me to do? Beg her and tell her that there is hope still?
I myself grew up in the same Nigeria that many pretend is haven for wonderful marriages and I never saw that. What I saw a lot of, growing up, were so many broken families, majority where the fathers have long since abandoned his progeny to go start up some where else, without fear of repercussion/consequences or even penalities from the so called cultural judges of marriage. The vast majority of my school mates & friends grew up in such homes, homes I like to call BabyMama homes where the married mothers are forced into single-parenthood not as a result of divorce or a death but abandonment. We are talking of children scarred for life by these conditions, many of them never really overcoming that rejection.

Here we are with some being advised to continue to perpetrate the same wickedness against Nigerian women, and their own flesh and blood, as a way of skirting the laws in the western world. Would you rather I tell her to sign up for the same rottenness that scarred many in my generation?
Given what I know of the plight of a large number of Nigerian married women, I cannot in good conscience tell the lady in question that she should not pursue that which she believes will make her happier. I am sorry, I can't.

Kobojunkie Kobojunkie Kobojunkie!!!! Gurrllll ya spoke mi mind. How do you want your "SHAWARMA", Spiced with Cameroon pepper or Freshly ground Ghana Pepper!!!! , imma add a bottle of Ice Cold ALOMO Bitters to balance the Equation, or would you prefer a glass of Your favorite Red Wine? Just lemme know so i can also serenade you with "Beautiful By Ric Hassani"

Nigeria is not some Eldorado for marriage. We all know its a patriarchy, men rule and women obey. Men never help out with house work eventhough his wife also has a 9-5 job. She is expected to go to work, return home, cook, clean, take care of the kids etc.

Then there is the extramarital activities the men are entitled to or in some cases outright abandonment of their families for the new sexy Secretary. We know what women face in Nigeria even the elders tell women to manage, endure, pray and fast because one magical day his eye will be opened and as long as he is taking care of the home financially all will be well soon.

These Nigerian men experience culture dating shock in the Western country they migrate to when they start dating both Nigerian girls or non-Nigerian girls. They either adapt to the Western customs of treating a woman with respect and as an equal or decide to import the Nigerian based "docile and submissive" wife..

Mrcalxy1:


There's still some hidden info to this Sir.

Not as plane as you've said it sha.

tou see the problem we have as a society in Nigeria is ignorance. Most Nigerians are ignorant of thier rights expecially women. The laws are all there . Also we don't yet have a culture of sueing, we are always leaving it to God. When you can help yourself.Do you know according to Nigerian law if a man builds a house after marrying a woman, both couples own the home. And if there is a divorce they will share that house equally . If children are involved the wife gets more.

Liliantalks:
I just keep laughing at this comment, u think it’s that simple ,, a woman can survive to stay single for ever cause her kids will love her forever,, but for men , u r on a long thing ... kids from one belle can never be compared to that from one sperm . The love is different! Better learn from past experiences o

which kind of CHEAP PROPAGANDA is this?? That's carrying a baby for 9 months and giving birth AUTOMATICALLY entitles you to their love and care children always love and care more for that parent who was there for them ,It's has nothing to do with "giving birth to them or being a mother"I've seen an irresponsible mother who Ignored by her SIX children focusing all their love on their Father because while Daddy was working hard to take care of them combining both his Job and responsibilities as a Father Mummy dumped them Jumping f rom one dick to Another ...It has Nothing to do with who gave birth to who ,It's about who care most ,the major Reason mother's have upper hand in kid's life in Nigeria is because they're always at home available to the kids while Daddy spends most of his time working to pay bills... If you like when you give birth to your kids don't treat them right or care for them well thinking because you're the "MOTHER" automatically they'll love you... E go SHOCK you ,Oga eme gi vum na Anya ..... Children even prefer they're foster parents who treated them well and cared for the than they're biological parents...Any body can father or mother to a child what matters DID YOU care enough? If a Single father cared enough they'll still love him more than anything!

lefulefu:
even this one of leaving your wife in nigeria while u overseas hustling still has its disadvantages.She will succumb to cheating on you and even if u tell your relations to watch her it wont work.a lot of benin guys who are overseas hustling and they left their wife back in benin many of their wives have lovers who service them..u cant blame such ..though even the bini guys are not faithful as well as many of them with nigerian wives back in naija have european wife who have even born children for them overseas.funny sort of marriage relationships .

Wetin man go do..
My uncle has a wife in Lagos Island n e still get another for Saudi wey dem dey live together..
Anyways e b muslim

Chukapage:
which kind of CHEAP PROPAGANDA is this?? That's carrying a baby for 9 months and giving birth AUTOMATICALLY entitles you to their love and care children always love and care more for that parent who was there for them ,It's has nothing to do with "giving birth to them or being a mother"I've seen an irresponsible mother who Ignored by her SIX children focusing all their love on their Father because while Daddy was working hard to take care of them combining both his Job and responsibilities as a Father Mummy dumped them Jumping f rom one dick to Another ...It has Nothing to do with who gave birth to who ,It's about who care most ,the major Reason mother's have upper hand in kid's life in Nigeria is because they're always at home available to the kids while Daddy spends most of his time working to pay bills... If you like when you give birth to your kids don't treat them right or care for them well thinking because you're the "MOTHER" automatically they'll love you... E go SHOCK you ,Oga eme gi vum na Anya ..... Children even prefer they're foster parents who treated them well and cared for the than they're biological parents...Any body can father or mother to a child what matters DID YOU care enough? If a Single father cared enough they'll still love him more than anything!

okay I wish you luck

ghettochild4u:

Wetin man go do..
My uncle has a wife in Lagos Island n e still get another for Saudi wey dem dey live together..
Anyways e b muslim

except maybe as u dey jand u can marry a woman there and she will stay with u while the other one is in naija .so when u coming home wit dat one if she insist on meeting ur ppl u can tell ur homebased wife to pose as ur younger sister .na so some guys dey do their own

abeggnow:
tou see the problem we have as a society in Nigeria is ignorance. Most Nigerians are ignorant of thier rights expecially women. The laws are all there . Also we don't yet have a culture of sueing, we are always leaving it to God. When you can help yourself.Do you know according to Nigerian law if a man builds a house after marrying a woman, both couples own the home. And if there is a divorce they will share that house equally . If children are involved the wife gets more.

even if the courts insist this or that if the husband dies the relations will ignore the courts and collect everything from the woman.its like u forgotten our courts are toothless.they can only make laws not enforce it.i pray oo in yankee one greedy relation will start oppresing another man's wife and start collecting the properties when the man is dead.before he knows what is happening police will just grab them and fling them inside jail.like play like play they will go on trial and the judge will start handing out sentences to them like gala .thats how effective and strong western courts are.

lefulefu:
even if the courts insist this or that if the husband dies the relations will ignore the courts and collect everything from the woman.its like u forgotten our courts are toothless.they can only make laws not enforce it.i pray oo in yankee one greedy relation will start oppresing another man's wife and start collecting the properties when the man is dead.before he knows what is happening police will just grab them and fling them inside jail.like play like play they will go on trial and the judge will start handing out sentences to them like gala .thats how effective and strong western courts are.

you greatly underestimate Nigerian courts.pray you don't have first hand experience.

I don't know why I keep coming across threads like this everytime I make plans to go marry my babe from ninja.
This is so discouraging, and yes I know that the babe that says she loves you so much today can flip tomorrow.

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lefulefu:
except maybe as u dey jand u can marry a woman there and she will stay with u while the other one is in naija .so when u coming home wit dat one if she insist on meeting ur ppl u can tell ur homebased wife to pose as ur younger sister .na so some guys dey do their own

Bros, na this lie dey kill our people as in, why lie.. These oyinbo wey we dey marry abroad.. Tel em frm start say u get wife for naija.. They really don't mind n then know what they already going into..
My cousin papa leave naija around 1999 sha.. Married an American lady.. He let her knw she he get wives n kids down there after all no b single much more younger lady he marry..
See if u go abroad... Just tell d truth... No lie..
Woman wey go marry u go marry u....
Also they know u prefer abroad to ur home that's why u came over...
The othercase is if u been faithful n sincere..
Go to fb n Google Sharon atusa..
She's a married to a nigerian she's much older than.. N they have been good together n have built a house in naija she proudly posted on her fb...
Only honesty n faithfulness pays..
The guy could leave her n decide to go marry younger lady but what's d guarantee he's gonna be happy with her..
Bro this older women give peace of mind... I tell u d truth..
Abeg make una no go bomb Sharon oooo..
Una dey waste una time ooo.
She knows naija scammer spot on.. And u will get blocked.. Leave her alone she's happy with her man..
I only shared the name here for us black people to start doing right..

ghettochild4u:

Bros, na this lie dey kill our people as in, why lie.. These oyinbo wey we dey marry abroad.. Tel em frm start say u get wife for naija.. They really don't mind n then know what they already going into..
My cousin papa leave naija around 1999 sha.. Married an American lady.. He let her knw she he get wives n kids down there after all no b single much more younger lady he marry..
See if u go abroad... Just tell d truth... No lie..
Woman wey go marry u go marry u....
Also they know u prefer abroad to ur home that's why u came over...
The othercase is if u been faithful n sincere..
Go to fb n Google Sharon atusa..
She's a married to a nigerian she's much older than.. N they have been good together n have built a house in naija she proudly posted on her fb...
Only honesty n faithfulness pays..
The guy could leave her n decide to go marry younger lady but what's d guarantee he's gonna be happy with her..
Bro this older women give peace of mind... I tell u d truth..
Abeg make una no go bomb Sharon oooo..
Una dey waste una time ooo.
She knows naija scammer spot on.. And u will get blocked.. Leave her alone she's happy with her man..
I only shared the name here for us black people to start doing right..

well u have a point but u know oyibo girls are quite jealous .even if u married dem go wan know if u divorced before dem gree marry the guy..thats why most guys go lie say dem never marry b4.there was one that happened in benin wey dey tell im wife in naija to pose as his sister while he brought his american wife over.after sometime this im naija wife sent a message to the american lady to leave her husband alone.dat her husband is married to her and they have kids together.even upon as the man parents tell the lady back home to calm down she no gree.she just messed up the guy"s marriage with the american lady.the american lady had to confirm the story and by this time the guy don codedly comot for yankee make dem no go arrest am for bigamy charges.if a white girl knows u married back home with children she no go gree marry u oo.una fit dey fuk dey do friends of benefit but wen it comes to marriage u must proof to her that u have divorced ur naija wife back home b4 she agrees to marriage.dats why most guys just conviniently lie that they are single so as to escape explanation

lefulefu:
well u have a point but u know oyibo girls are quite jealous .even if u married dem go wan know if u divorced before dem gree marry the guy..thats why most guys go lie say dem never marry b4.there was one that happened in benin wey dey tell im wife in naija to pose as his sister while he brought his american wife over.after sometime this im naija wife sent a message to the american lady to leave her husband alone.dat her husband is married to her and they have kids together.even upon as the man parents tell the lady back home to calm down she no gree.she just messed up the guy"s marriage with the american lady.the american lady had to confirm the story and by this time the guy don codedly comot for yankee make dem no go arrest am for bigamy charges.if a white girl knows u married back home with children she no go gree marry u oo.una fit dey fuk dey do friends of benefit but wen it comes to marriage u must proof to her that u have divorced ur naija wife back home b4 she agrees to marriage.dats why most guys just conviniently lie that they are single so as to escape explanation

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. It all boils down to the feminine nature which is females being very territorial.

Every woman wants to be one and only woman in every relationship. Women don't want anyone sharing their man with them. That's why most times when a man is caught cheating on his wife or his girlfriend, she doesn't immediately beat him. She always goes for the throat of the other woman, not caring that the other woman may not have been aware he had a main chick.

It will surprise you that side chicks, even when they know they are playing the role of side chick, are eventually hoping and praying to become the main chick. You will find out that the sidechick will investigate and know everything about the main chick even if she agreed to play the role of a side chick.

One day, because of emotions, the side chick may even send a text to the main chick to leave her man alone. . Women can't stand another woman eating the same food they are eating. It's just their nature.

pDudd:


Hahahahahahahahahahaha. It all boils down to the feminine nature which is females being very territorial.

Every woman wants to be one and only woman in every relationship. Women don't want anyone sharing their man with them. That's why most times when a man is caught cheating on his wife or his girlfriend, she doesn't immediately beat him. She always goes for the throat of the other woman, not caring that the other woman may not have been aware he had a main chick.

It will surprise you that side chicks, even when they know they are playing the role of side chick, are eventually hoping and praying to become the main chick. You will find out that the sidechick will investigate and know everything about the main chick even if she agreed to play the role of a side chick.

One day, because of emotions, the side chick may even send a text to the main chick to leave her man alone. . Women can't stand another woman eating the same food they are eating. It's just their nature.

thats why most side chicks engage in diabolical practices cos they hope to change the mind of the married men they are dating .most women who patronise babalawos and witch doctors are mostly side chicks and runs girls

abeggnow:
tou see the problem we have as a society in Nigeria is ignorance. Most Nigerians are ignorant of thier rights expecially women. The laws are all there . Also we don't yet have a culture of sueing, we are always leaving it to God. When you can help yourself.Do you know according to Nigerian law if a man builds a house after marrying a woman, both couples own the home. And if there is a divorce they will share that house equally . If children are involved the wife gets more.

problem is most men do not consent to court marriage ,, many women need to do that in this new age

Liliantalks:
problem is most men do not consent to court marriage ,, many women need to do that in this new age

you have a point . But u can b legally married in church or in the mosque.they all recognized by the courts

lefulefu:
well u have a point but u know oyibo girls are quite jealous .even if u married dem go wan know if u divorced before dem gree marry the guy..thats why most guys go lie say dem never marry b4.there was one that happened in benin wey dey tell im wife in naija to pose as his sister while he brought his american wife over.after sometime this im naija wife sent a message to the american lady to leave her husband alone.dat her husband is married to her and they have kids together.even upon as the man parents tell the lady back home to calm down she no gree.she just messed up the guy"s marriage with the american lady.the american lady had to confirm the story and by this time the guy don codedly comot for yankee make dem no go arrest am for bigamy charges.if a white girl knows u married back home with children she no go gree marry u oo.una fit dey fuk dey do friends of benefit but wen it comes to marriage u must proof to her that u have divorced ur naija wife back home b4 she agrees to marriage.dats why most guys just conviniently lie that they are single so as to escape explanation

White girl u said.. Nor white grown up woman.

@OP PDudd, you’ve talked about AA and Nigerian-American women, got any experience with mixed chicks?

DreManuel:
@OP PDudd, you’ve talked about AA and Nigerian-American women, got any experience with mixed chicks?

It all depends on who raised the girl.

If she had a black mother and white father, she will be just like the AA women I wrote about.

If she has a white mother and black father, she will act more decently.

pDudd:


It all depends on who raised the girl.

If she had a black mother and white father, she will be just like the AA women I wrote about.

If she has a white mother and black father, she will act more decently.

Black mother white father has more of a better chance of not being as ghetto though, because at least then it his highly unlikely that she grew up in the hood.

Jainine:


There you were thinking it will be ladies who will come for you

Nigerian men only want to hear, they are superior to female any other thing you say will be offensive

I'm so glad this was a thread from a male. By the way well said, alot of guys cannot cope with the female abroad because they won't be humble enough to give them same respect that they give to the white women. Ofcourse that goes without saying there are power drunk black ladies too. But most Nigerian men cannot get off their high horses.

I found your write up really refreshing to read. Thank you!

I believe Nigerian men respect white women because white women believe in equality in every aspect of it. You can't expect a guy to respect you when you asking him to pay for wig, weaves, uber etc. while the white woman is pitching in 50% for rent and other bills. Nigerian men have no issues with respect or humility, they respect women that take responsibility.

Rickywowoz:


I believe Nigerian men respect white women because white women believe in equality in every aspect of it. You can't expect a guy to respect you when you asking him to pay for wig, weaves, uber etc. while the white woman is pitching in 50% for rent and other bills. Nigerian men have no issues with respect or humility, they respect women that take responsibility.

You've raised a valid point. Most Nigerian women overseas want to have their cake and eat yours. They want you to play the traditional man's role but at the same time, they often don't want to play the traditional woman. For instance, every date I have been to with WW, they almost always offered to pay their own bills. Nigerian women or AA women, on the other hand, want you to pay for them, and if you refuse, they would become grumpy.

Rickywowoz:


I believe Nigerian men respect white women because white women believe in equality in every aspect of it. You can't expect a guy to respect you when you asking him to pay for wig, weaves, uber etc. while the white woman is pitching in 50% for rent and other bills. Nigerian men have no issues with respect or humility, they respect women that take responsibility.

Very wrong! The egoistic behaviour is rooted in most Nigerian men upbringing and even when they meet women who know their worth and don't stoop to begging and_shit, they still can't stop and on here we are particularly talking about women who work and earn enough to care for themeslve in America, and men who still want to enslave and form stupid alpha. But when they meet a white woman they start to feel like inferior piece of shit, kiss her_ass and licking the floor she walks. Ofcourse this is not everyman, but vast majority who are used to mummy being disrespected and disregarded

Rickywowoz:


I believe Nigerian men respect white women because white women believe in equality in every aspect of it. You can't expect a guy to respect you when you asking him to pay for wig, weaves, uber etc. while the white woman is pitching in 50% for rent and other bills. Nigerian men have no issues with respect or humility, they respect women that take responsibility.

If only that were true, but I am afraid you are wrong.