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Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love (29443 Views)

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Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by bluefilm: 10:15am On May 13, 2020
zcee:
one black head African/Nigerian can't rule a country like Nigeria with such population..

In as much I do not support the breaking up of Nigeria, I think that will be the best option let everyone manage their own prob..

We are too large to be ruled by one black African person except the Britain will come back and take over from us..

Na dust and akamu full your head.

Nothing like brain at all...

2 Likes

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by babajero(m): 10:19am On May 13, 2020
SageMK:
Is he insinuating Africans are incapable of love?
No, he is saying that no matter how you love a girl, during marriage you have to go check if you are compatible, if not you have to marry whom you are compatible with instead of whom you love.

1 Like

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by babajero(m): 10:20am On May 13, 2020
JeffreyD1:
Well the main reason for marriage is not to make babies


What is the main reason please, I need to learn from you.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by babajero(m): 10:25am On May 13, 2020
helinues:
He should say in his village
This is the main reason majority of northerners are handicapped or mentally impaired.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Prof0fficial: 10:32am On May 13, 2020
realstars:
Some Are Not For Love, Nor Children, But For Stadey 4uk.

marriage doesn't even guarantee that...u may be surprised single people do it more often and with different options as they may please...but try it in marriage u may be stabbed or poisoned.
some wife's deny their husbands for months even years...for real, especially if there is misunderstanding

5 Likes

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by hammerP: 10:39am On May 13, 2020
babajero:
No, he is saying that no matter how you love a girl, during marriage you have to go check if you are compatible, if not you have to marry whom you are compatible with instead of whom you love.

For instance, I know a girl that was dating a guy and wanted to marry him.

They did blood test and found out they are both AS AND AS BLOOD TYPE.

The chances of having sickler or sickle cell, was high, so they ended their relationship.

Children is the main reason for marriage not love.

U are suppose to Love your neighbour as yourself.


Love is common.

1 Like

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Drizzy5001(m): 10:43am On May 13, 2020
Before nko after wedding what else do u start expecting? No be children?
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by babajero(m): 10:53am On May 13, 2020
hammerP:


For instance, I know a girl that was dating a guy and wanted to marry him.

They did blood test and found out they are both AS AND AS BLOOD TYPE.

The chances of having sickler or sickle cell, was high, so they ended their relationship.

Children is the main reason for marriage not love.

U are suppose to Love your neighbour as yourself.


Love is common.

Hahaha my brother not that kind of love o

1 Like

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by hammerP: 10:54am On May 13, 2020
babajero:
Hahaha my brother not that kind of love o

Wat kind?

Corruption love is even more common nowadays and dat y we have so many single mothers everywhere.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by mikywonder(m): 10:55am On May 13, 2020
100% correct
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by babajero(m): 11:25am On May 13, 2020
hammerP:


Wat kind?

Corruption love is even more common nowadays and dat y we have so many single mothers everywhere.
We have, agape love, mutual love, consensual love. Agape love is the love of the bible, mutual love is the love in business, consensual love is the love in relationships it is not written anywhere but you know it exists and may eventually lead to marriage and family. And my brother you are mistaking agape love to consensual love. Single motherhood is not caused by any of this Love, it is caused by the corruption of the mind and not love.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by osas7j(m): 11:44am On May 13, 2020
if not for children what concern me with marriage with this all olosho we have now, marriage problem everywhere

3 Likes

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Askmewhy(m): 11:45am On May 13, 2020
I researched this long ago and came to the conclusion over 10 years ago that African men don't love. They married not because of love.

3 Likes

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Joshuamilarge(m): 12:33pm On May 13, 2020
To a large extent, the man is correct.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by hammerP: 1:41pm On May 13, 2020
babajero:
We have, agape love, mutual love, consensual love. Agape love is the love of the bible, mutual love is the love in business, consensual love is the love in relationships it is not written anywhere but you know it exists and may eventually lead to marriage and family. And my brother you are mistaking agape love to consensual love. Single motherhood is not caused by any of this Love, it is caused by the corruption of the mind and not love.

LOL!

LOVE IS LOVE, ALL THIS ONE YOU LISTED NA SAMPLE.

MANY MARRIAGES ARE NOT BASED ON LOVE.

DO U WANT TO KNOW BASES FOR MODERN MARRIAGES TODAY?

FINANCES!

TRY GO TO A MATURED WOMAN OR GIRL, WITH ZERO FINANCE OR INCOME AND ASK HER TO MARRY U FOR LOVE AND SEE IF SHE WILL EVEN ANSWER YOU OR LOOK BACK.


LOVE IS NOT THE LEADING REASON FOR RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by galaxy2020(m): 1:55pm On May 13, 2020
But that's the truth, if we want to be truthful to ourselves.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by beey2(m): 2:26pm On May 13, 2020
He's somehow right. During courtship I had this discussion about having children with my fiancee and when I said one (1) is OK for me she screamed NEVER to my surprise. She wanted at least 4. Now we have 3 healthy,

I think the distinguished Senator should have said many or most Africans... Instead of making a general statement because some do marry for love.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Psoul(m): 2:29pm On May 13, 2020
solostar1:

will you marry that person you love is both of you are of the genotype AS.

You doesn't sound logical and reasonable to me. No insult intended.

If you're in love with someone of incompatible blood group with yours, you'll feel bad cos the marriage will not work. Then you move on and find someone else and feel in love.
Let me also ask you. Will u marry such a person since she's fertile and can still give ua child/children?
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Depressedkidd: 2:38pm On May 13, 2020
Jmk9292:
People marry for different reasons... Utazi speaks for himself
honestly it all comes down to children. Only about 5% of Nigerians would get married to someone if they realized they wouldn't be able to have kids with the person. So matter even if you love the person or not, when all the layers are peeled back, at the core is kids.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Psoul(m): 2:41pm On May 13, 2020
FlordFlorez:
Can u count atleast hundred couples in ur immediate environ (ur family inclusive) that love each other purely?

May be you came from a broken home. A home devoid of parental love.
Probably, a community where husbands and wives don't have regards for each other.

In the family where I comes from, love is the ultimate. Same with my community. Though some ppl's love may fade but if u check back, you'll see that they started with love.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Psoul(m): 2:43pm On May 13, 2020
solostar1:

will you marry that person you love is both of you are of the genotype AS.

You're not making any sense pls.
What kind of reasoning is this?
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Nobody: 2:45pm On May 13, 2020
mmsen:


Yes. The implication of what he is saying is that Africans have no room for love.

Forever in 'survival' mode.


This may be why “love is a decision not an emotion” is a mantra in our society
When love is gone ( even now bordering on absolute loathing) you are told, “ it’s your cross”. “stay for the children”, “the devil you know bla bla”, “Ghod hates divorce”, etc lipsrsealed cry

3 Likes

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by endy69: 3:30pm On May 13, 2020
Gbagagba is surely telling us the truth. in Africa, we marry for kids and people should read the entire speech before commenting.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Nobody: 4:34pm On May 13, 2020
He ain't lying though. Africans sometimes self ehn e just dey like say we still dey primitive. That is why the rest of the world looks down on us, our mindset is far behind. If marriage is only for children then it is useless. No wonder we have few philosophers and great thinkers like Woke Soyinka.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Nobody: 4:39pm On May 13, 2020
babajero:
No, he is saying that no matter how you love a girl, during marriage you have to go check if you are compatible, if not you have to marry whom you are compatible with instead of whom you love.
So you prefer to give birth to children and live in misery all your life than to marry who you love adopt children and have at least a mixture of happiness and misery in your life.

1 Like

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by stormborn28(m): 7:51pm On May 13, 2020
hammerP:
Marriage is for children.

That is correct.
i know that P in your monikar means penis.. So in essence hammerPenis
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Mizwisdom(f): 8:02pm On May 13, 2020
babajero:
Which other main reason can a man marry, apart from starting up a family?


Companionship? someone to talk to at home, share intimate gist, share life experiences on daily basis, eat with, go out with etc?

1 Like

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Hotguy27: 8:49pm On May 13, 2020
As hard as this sounds, the man has said it all.

Anyone arguing against him here is just deceiving him/herself.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by FlordFlorez(m): 9:20pm On May 13, 2020
Psoul:


May be you came from a broken home. A home devoid of parental love.
Probably, a community where husbands and wives don't have regards for each other.

In the family where I comes from, love is the ultimate. Same with my community. Though some ppl's love may fade but if u check back, you'll see that they started with love.
U avoided my question and attack my family. I wont blame u, u only revealed to me how much u got no respect for ur own family. Keep deceiving urself, mr man.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by redsun(m): 9:46pm On May 13, 2020
You marry if you can afford it, convenience and you don't need children if you are not more reasonable than a child.
Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by atheistandproud(m): 9:59pm On May 13, 2020
GeeJack:

Well the earth is over-populated already and death rate is reducing. Everyother part of the world have accepted this, now reducing their birth rate, creating awareness for birth control, abortion is widely practiced and some men in the west get vasectomy on them selves. Africa and middle east are the only exception, it's worst in Africa, Nigeria esp, our population will grow twice the size by 2035, it's going to be horrible, more crimes will be commited and there would be a massive fall in economy, poverty will be wide spread.
I myself don't plan on bringing any kids to this horrible world and I don't think anyone else should but like if you really want a kid, ONE should be enough, for the sake of our planet and it's future inhabitants.

I applaud you. I don't think I want children sef.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Chukwuka Utazi: In Africa, We Marry For Children Not Love by Psoul(m): 10:04pm On May 13, 2020
FlordFlorez:
U avoided my question and attack my family. I wont blame u, u only revealed to me how much u got no respect for ur own family. Keep deceiving urself, mr man.

I never attacked your family. I don't know how ppl make haste to talk and also fail to keep track of their words.

You are angry cos ur family is mentioned. You fail to realize that my response was according to question u asked while quoting me.

You asked me if I can mention up to 100 ppl in my community that married out of love, my own FAMILY INCLUSIVE. Go back and check ur comment.

My response was, if you can ask this kind of question, it might be that u came from a broken home or a home devoid of parental love for you not to have experience love in a family. Now show me the insult in my response.

Let me still tell u. No person that comes from a family where his parents love themselves so much, will ask that kind of question u asked. Take it or leave it.

1 Like

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